A knock at my door startled me awake and, remembering the king's last words to me, I bolted out of bed and threw a robe on then went to answer the door. So long as the king had returned alive and unharmed, I could not have cared less about who saw me in my night clothes and the robe covered everything anyway. The young maid standing in the doorway was unfazed by my state of dress and leaned in to whisper "the king has returned". I nodded then told her that my cousin and I would be down shortly before closing the door and turning to address my bleary eyed cousin who had evidently been wakened by my sudden flight from the bed. "Cousin, we need to dress and go downstairs. Hektor's body has been returned to us" was all I said but Andromache was out of the bed and pulling on her dress from the previous day almost before I had finished speaking. I did not comment on the tears that spilled down her cheeks as she wrapped Astyanax in a blanket, mostly because I could not speak over the lump that rose suddenly in my throat. It was going to be a long and difficult day for all of us but my cousin, most of all.
"Father...have you truly gone mad?!" Paris exploded, upon seeing his brother's body being brought in on a pallet carried by a retinue of guards, and, surprisingly, it was not me who reprimanded him for his outburst. That honour went to the plainly clad and filthy young woman walking behind the body.
"Be quiet, Paris" Briseis said sharply then she turned slightly and our eyes met. I swiftly handed the sleeping baby to the sleepy Polyxena, whom we had roused on our way down to the entrance hall, and turned back just as my dear friend came forward and, without speaking, practically fell into my arms. Hot tears burned my eyes and trailed silently down my cheeks as I held her, silently thanking the gods for bringing her back to us alive and in one piece. "Welcome home" I whispered into her hair then looked up when I overheard Helenus commanding the servants to bring a meal to her rooms and pour a bath for her.
Priam's second son was in his armour and stood to the right of his father, looking down at the body with a suitably solemn expression, but his appearance caused a feeling of cold dread to lodge itself in my stomach. Resolving to think more upon it later – apparently I had much thinking to do in the coming days – I turned my attention back to Briseis who had raised her head and was eyeing me warily "I remember that expression. You always looked that way at Paris when he gave you a gift without there being a suitable occasion for it. Is something amiss?".
I lifted my hand and wiped away a smear of dirt from her pale cheek, noting the large bruise on her neck that was painfully reminiscent of the one I'd gotten from Ares. Had she worn it before her capture, we would have matched I thought darkly but I managed a small smile "much has happened since you were taken, Briseis. I shall tell of it in your rooms, as it is not common knowledge nor is it meant to be. As of right now, I am simply glad that you are here and on your own two feet - not on another pallet, cold and still" I answered honestly and glanced over at Hektor's lifeless form. Beside him, Andromache wept silently as she cleaned his face with a wet cloth and Paris ordered everyone to leave, save the immediate family and myself, so that we could mourn in peace.
Briseis made a soft choking noise and pressed her face into my robe against my shoulder then began to sob softly. Having no words for anyone, I simply held her as she cried then Paris came over to us and pulled us both into a tight embrace. Briseis' head snapped up and the indignant look on her face made me fear that she was about to yell at him. I gave her a look and whispered that this was neither the time nor place for a fight and that seemed to appease her because she settled against me again and said nothing. But it was my head that Paris' cheek came to rest upon and, when I felt wetness beginning to seep into my scalp, I knew he was hurting inside so I merely leaned into him and closed my eyes.
Shortly after sunrise, the king proceeded to the balcony overlooking the city and announced that Hektor's body had been returned and his funerary games would commence the following day. In the main courtyard, the pyre took shape as the soldiers who had fought under his command sought to honour their crown prince and general in the only way they presently could. Meanwhile, inside the palace, his armour had been removed and my cousin bathed his body then his brothers and father dressed him in his robes of office. Only shortly before the funeral itself took place, was I permitted a moment alone with him to pay my respects.
Earlier, as was custom, Andromache, Cassandra, Polyxena, and myself had all bathed and dressed in our mourning clothes but, along with my simple black gown, I donned the ornaments of my priesthood, and bound my hair up but decided to forgo the veil usually worn with such an outfit. Instead, I wore the earrings he had gifted me for my birthday in the year he and my cousin had been married and strapped a dagger to my right leg as a symbol of the promise I had made to him. If Troy fell, my priority was to ensure that my cousin and her son made it safely to the hidden passage, regardless of how many men I had to kill in the process.
The air was still and eerily silent as I approached the chamber where he lay and the guards inclined their heads and stepped aside, allowing me to pass through the door unhindered. Hektor looked for all the world as though he had just gone down for a nap and, had I not seen him fall with my own eyes, it would have been incredibly difficult to accept that he would never wake again. Even so, only when I reached out and touched the hands clasped over his stomach did grief come crashing down on me. The coldness of his skin was an unwelcome shock and it shattered all of the walls I had constructed to keep my emotions in check. The floodgates opened and the first sob hurt as though I had been kicked in the chest but those that followed were not much better. It took all of my considerable willpower to keep myself from collapsing as I finally let myself mourn the loss of one who had been my brother in all but blood.
"I will keep my promise but you must keep yours as well, Hektor of Troy. I had better see you in the next world when my time comes" I whispered then leaned down and kissed his cold forehead, finally accepting that he was beyond the reach of both his family and physical harm. Then I prayed to my lady for strength enough to endure the coming days and exited the room.
During the funeral, I stood opposite the royal family and watched as Priam laid the coins on his son's eyes for the boatman then stepped back to allow Paris to bid farewell to his brother. For some reason, it did not feel right for me to stand with the family but my position allowed me to watch them and I immediately noticed the oddly detached expression that Helenus wore. He looked almost...bored. The dreadful feeling in my stomach returned then, without warning, my vision blurred and I heard a female voice, that was definitely not Artemis', whisper ominously in the back of my mind.
Traitor.
Oh Gods I thought with dismay who is talking to me now?
Whoever it was, though, said nothing more and my eyes cleared in time to see Priam and the new military general light Hektor's pyre. Then my cousin's expression faltered and Astyanax began to wail but, still, I did not move. The flames climbed higher until they obscured the body completely and I closed my eyes briefly, breathed a prayer for his soul, then opened them again.
Just as I had at my mother's funeral a few years before, when my father had taken my younger sister back to the house as soon as the pyre was lit, I stood alone and watched the fire burn until it had turned the entire structure to ash. Hektor was gone and, with him, the last of my childhood. I would have to be as careful as I could be for, if Helenus was truly a traitor - as the voice had said; he would be after the heir to the throne and, with my cousin half-dead from grief, I was the only one standing in his way.
Apollo was beginning his descent towards the horizon when it finally registered that I needed to move. The wailing women had gone and the other citizens of the city were slowly trickling back to their homes. I watched in silence as the king escorted his frail queen back into the palace. Hecuba had once been one of the most beautiful women in Troy but, as could be expected, fourteen children had taken their toll on her. The birth of Polydorus had weakened her so much that it had taken months for her body to recover then she caught fever shortly afterwards and was sick for so long that the king had begun making funerary arrangements by the time her health had finally improved. Now she did not even eat dinner in the main hall but only came out of her rooms for official occasions when her presence was absolutely required. She appeared so fragile as her husband led her away, her silver hair pulled back in a severe arrangement and her ruined body hidden beneath heavily embroidered dark robes, that I could not help but wonder if her pyre would be the next one lit in this courtyard.
"Ismena" Paris' voice interrupted my morbid thoughts and I slowly turned my head to look at him, surprised that it was he who had come to retrieve me from my solitary post. He should have been with his wife. "Come. It is time to go in" was all he said and I nodded then followed with legs that felt like they were made of wood and not flesh and bone. Dinner was nearly silent and, in a move that surprised both me and Cassandra, Briseis elected to sit with us instead of with the others, which reminded me that we had yet to speak on what had happened in her absence, both in the city and wherever she had been trapped.
But we talked amongst ourselves in hushed voices about everything that could be discussed in public so she was at least partially informed about the past few days by the time the meal was over. Then Cassandra gave me a meaningful look and, lowering her voice even further, confided that Paris and Helen had been at odds over something – or, rather, someone – over the past little while because she had overheard the maids gossiping about it outside her door. "Apparently, they had a fight that could be heard through the door to their rooms, during which Helen was heard saying "you claim to love me but you rarely touch me anymore and you speak more freely to her than you do to me" and he responded that this mysterious person was dear to him because he had known her since childhood, so that he spoke with her often was not all that strange".
I almost choked on my wine but managed to swallow properly instead of inhaling it "old habits die hard" I muttered "Paris has been bedding a different woman every night since age fifteen so she cannot expect him to change overnight just because he married her". At the forefront of my mind was that he had been talking about me but Paris had been surrounded by girls for most of his life so I could not be absolutely sure. "That is why you refused when father requested permission from Andromache to give Paris your hand" Briseis said and I nodded then swallowed a mouthful of soup "in order to marry, I must be able to trust the man who seeks my hand and I could not trust Paris" I clarified. "I wonder why that would be?" Cassandra muttered into her wine cup and I smiled slightly at her but remained silent as the question was clearly hypothetical.
That evening, I looked at my bed – where my cousin and Briseis were sitting, both half asleep – and sighed. I would soon need a bigger bed if this kept up. Cassandra and Polyxena had both retired to their own rooms but Briseis had confessed to having extremely vivid nightmares the previous night and, after the funeral, I did not think either of them should have been alone. I was suddenly struck by an irrational fear of what would happen if Ares made an impromptu appearance in my room while they were sleeping here, thinking that either of the dark haired women was me. Then I immediately dismissed it as completely ridiculous since he never came to me when anyone else was present, only when I was clearly alone and usually angry. Besides, I suspected that it was my spirit he was drawn to and not my appearance, so my cousin and Briseis would likely be safe.
When my cousin's head finally came to rest on the pillow and her eyes closed fully, I waved at Briseis to rouse her and nodded toward the balcony to indicate that she should accompany me there. Climbing carefully off the bed so that she would not disturb Andromache, she pulled a thin robe on over her nightdress and held it closed with one hand as she followed me outside.
"We have not yet had the chance to speak alone and, under these circumstances, I somehow doubt that another opportunity will present itself in the coming days. My cousin and the prince absorb much of my time, as I am very aware of how vulnerable they are in the wake of Hektor's death, and you and I still have our respective temple duties to attend to" I explained in a hushed voice, once we were both seated, and Briseis folded her hands in her lap, a distinct sadness permeating her expression as she considered my words.
"I know. When I arrived here, it seemed that you were the only one who realized that I was alive. Even Paris, with whom I was once so close, was more concerned with scolding my uncle than he was with seeing if I was well. Instead, it was Helenus who saw to it that I had a bath and meal prepared for me and we have never been close" her voice trailed off and a shiver ran the length of my spine as we shared looks of unease. It eased my nerves somewhat to hear that I was not the only one to have noticed the prince's odd behaviour.
"I thought of you often, Briseis, and made sure to remind the court of your plight and the possible fates of the other priestesses. Helenus has been acting strange ever since the war began and I was about to warn you about it. I also must inform you that Artemis is not the only immortal who has chosen me. The day you were taken, Ares appeared to me in my rooms and pinned me to my bed then nearly strangled me to death and told me that Artemis has promised me to him in exchange for a Trojan victory in the war. Paris can attest to this as he came to visit me – to tell me that he was going to battle against Menelaus- and interrupted us before anything worse could happen. He overheard much of what was said and saw the bruises on my neck when Ares finally disappeared so that I could answer the door. Cassandra and Helenus also know as they saw me the same day and everyone in the palace knows that I'd have killed any mortal man who dared to handle me thus" I confessed, the events of the past spilling from my lips in a waterfall of words and, as I spoke, Briseis' face turned more and more pale and her eyes widened in shock.
"Paris went to fight Menelaus but, in the end, ran from the battle when it became apparent that he was going to die. He also confessed to me beforehand that it was not for Helen that he fought and he asked for my blessing, which I gave. I am still uncertain as to why your cousin is so fond of me, despite having heard him extoll my virtues – or faults, depending on who you ask, because I do not know how I feel about him. In contrast to what I said at dinner, your cousin has changed in a sense but the exact nature of that change has yet to show itself fully" I finished then backtracked through my memory to make sure I hadn't left anything important out.
"That explains much. It was to Achilles that I was given after I was taken from the temple. He said that, after he killed Hektor, he looked up to find the king but instead locked eyes with a fierce looking woman who stared him down in the manner of one who feared nothing and no one. He commented that she had strange green eyes then asked me if she was Hektor's wife" she told me solemnly.
So he had mentioned me. Suddenly it came to me that his having seen me was a blessing in disguise, a way to deflect his attention from my cousin and her son, and I leaned forward slightly "and what was your answer?"
"I thought of Andromache and little Astyanax then I tried to think of what you, as their protector, would have wanted me to say. So I told him that it was and that you were my sworn sister. It now makes sense to me why you would have looked at him thus. Aside from that being your usual way, you also have no reason to fear him now because if he dared to come after you, Ares would be wearing his hide by sunset" she reasoned and I was so glad for her cleverness that I could have jumped up and sang to the heavens with joy.
However, had I done that, she would surely have thought I had lost my mind so I breathed a heavy sigh of relief and smiled at her "good. Now if Troy falls, he shall go after me and not my cousin. Well done and thank you" I said gratefully then my gaze was drawn back to the bruises on her neck and a lump grew in my throat. I did not want to ask but, at the same time, I had to know. I had seen her walking around the palace and had noticed that her hips now swayed in the manner of a woman who had been bedded and I had also seen the pitying looks cast her way by the maids.
"Briseis, were you..." I found that I could not even speak the vile word but I did not have to, for she knew exactly what I referred to. She shook her head then proceeded to tell me of Achilles, of their conversation about the gods, and that he had saved her from being brutally raped by the rest of the army. As she spoke, I came to realize a part of her had fallen in love with the warrior, despite his faults, and that part was in direct conflict with her loyalty to her family and country. She felt guilty for willingly giving herself to an enemy man, however perceptive and well-respected he was, but she could also not bring herself to regret it and I, despite my loyalty to my people and my hatred of Greeks, could not blame her for it.
After all, Achilles had stayed with his people and returned her to hers. Unlike Paris and Helen. Normally, I considered myself diplomatic enough to recognize when a mutually beneficial alliance could be made. However, in the midst of a great war and with great animosity on both sides; there was no way their relationship could have ended well. If she stayed with him and Troy won, Achilles would die and so, probably, would she. If the Greeks won, Troy would burn and Briseis would be dragged to the other side of the Aegean as a concubine. Either way, we would have lost her.
Guilt was plainly visible in her eyes when she finished her tale, as if she expected to be punished for her actions. But I could do no such thing. I reached forward and took her hands in mine "Briseis, it is not my place to judge you nor to tell your family about this. The only advice I can give is to let them believe what they wish about your captivity" I suggested evenly and managed a slight smile "my hope is that talking about it to someone will ease your burden and enable you to sleep with a clear conscience at night from this day forward".
During the night, my cousin woke a few times but, to my left, Briseis slept soundly and I knew that, given some time, she would recover fully from her ordeal.
What I did not know was if that time would be granted to us.