A yellow flash. No, not THE yellow flash. Minato couldn't hope to be this fast. All anyone saw was a streak of yellow zoom past their eyes. But it wasn't just light. There was force, enough to make people fall over and break windows.

Sai and Ino were walking back home from breakfast. He treated her to the brand new White Castle that opened up. Normally Ino would never eat burgers for breakfast but that inspirational documentary about those two Asian fellas traversing the harsh lands of New Jersey just for a taste of those burgers had convinced her to go. And it was quite worth it. She ate 12 sliders! She told her boyfriend she would cut off his balls if he ever told anyone just how much of a fat fuck she could be.

That's when it happened. Ino didn't see it but Sai did. He acted fast, pushing her out of the way. Unfortunately he couldn't save himself. Naruto slammed into him at 400 mph. He carried Sai for nearly 200 feet before Sai forced himself off. He sat on the ground disoriented and watched as the yellow flash vanished in the distance. "Was that...what that Naruto?" He picked himself up and dusted off his clothes.

"Sai!" It was Ino. She was running towards him. He was happy to see she wasn't hurt. "Don't worry Ino. I'm okay." He soon realized that Ino wasn't worried about him. Not one bit. "You ruined my dress you pale piece of shit! I will end you!" Sai watched in horror as his blonde princess ran at him with intent to kill. "Naruto! Wait for me!"

-Village Hidden in the Sand-

Gaara took another sip of his Earl Grey tea. It had become his tradition to have some after every breakfast. It was soothing, especially when he drank it alone in the quietness of his office. It was still hard to believe how many years had passed since the great war. So many things had changed. Kankuro now runs his own flower shop. Last year he even outsold Ino. Temari commands their Black Ops division. They've earned quite a reputation, rivaling that of Konoha's Anbu.

As for Gaara? Not much has changed for him. He remains the Kazekage, and a beloved one too. So beloved that he receives hundreds of fan mails each day. Originally sending fan mail to the Kazekage was forbidden but Gaara decided it would be a nice way to get to know each villager on a personal level. Unfortunately though, most of the mail consisted of marriage requests from girls and their parents. Lord Kazekage, please consider marrying my daughter. She is the princess you deserve, one that can elevate your status further. At first he chuckled at them. They ranged from being a simple paragraph plea to entire novels about why their daughter is worthy of becoming his bride. Many even contained photos of the girls in question. Some were professionally taken, in settings like sunsets and lakes. Others were...inappropriate. He asked Kankuro to dispose of those, though he never understood why Kankuro always seemed so happy to do it.

It wasn't that Gaara found the girls unattractive. Not only did most of them look like models, but they were quite accomplished. CEO's, blacksmiths, teachers, sound-cloud rappers. There was even a casino owner who sent him $10,000 dollars. Gaara sighed. He couldn't accept that. He told Kankuro to return the money. Kankuro gladly took the money from his hands.

It was obvious these girls just wanted him for his money and status. Hell, there were some guys requesting marriage as well. He wondered if something about his appearance came off as gay. Perhaps his spiky hair? Either way, he didn't want to marry somebody random. He wanted to experience true love like many of his friends in the leaf village. Sakura got the man of her dreams. Kiba and Choji were together (so he thought) and Naruto married his long time stalker. Yes, they all seemed quite happy and he craved that happiness too.

He walked over to his window. He was in the largest tower in the village, one that overlooked everyone and everything. He stared in the direction of the leaf village. He planned to visit soon to congratulate Naruto and Hinata on their baby. A child with Naruto's absurd stamina and stubbornness sounded...quite annoying actually. But mixed with Hinata's calmness and brains, now that makes an amazing combination. What would the name be though? Narata? Hinuto? Boruto? Naa, they wouldn't think of anything that dumb. His thought was interrupted when he noticed a strange yellow light appearing out of Konoha forest. At first he thought it might have been shinobi doing training. It had become common for leaf and sand shinobi to train together at the border of their territories. As he kept watching though, he realized the light was approaching the village at an alarming pace.

He ran back to his desk and grabbed his walkie-talkie. "Listen up! An object is app -" THUD! The noise was loud. He could've sworn he felt the ground shake. He walked back to the window and saw a cloud of dust where the object crashed into the outer wall. Someone spoke through the walkie-talkie. "Gaara-sama! Something just slammed into the wall. It appeared out of nowhere."

"Don't approach it. I'm heading over there now."

It only took a minute for Gaara and some Jounin to reach the outer wall. When they got there though, they were greeted with weird stares.

"What is with those dumb looks on your faces?" asked Gaara.

The shinobi weren't sure how to respond. Gaara spotted Kankuro in the mix. He was wearing a white tuxedo with diamond rings on 6 of his 10 fingers.

"Kankuro! Why the hell are you dressed like that?"

Kankuro looked up and shrieked when he saw his brother. "Ga-Gaara! What are you doing here? Aren't you looking at marriage proposals?"

"Who wants to marry me when my brother is walking around making girls wet with just his looks. Remind me how much I'm paying you again?"

"Umm." he was sweating now. "Naruto tried to break into our village!"

Gaara walked over to where Kankuro was pointing. "Naruto? Jesus, what happened?"

Naruto lay knocked out on his back, blood running down his forehead. He had slammed head first into the wall. Damn, what luck. Just last week Temari convinced Gaara to reinforce the walls with his sand. It was a long and boring process but he definitely owed her a thanks now. He wasn't expecting it to stop his best friend though.

"Kankuro."

"Yes Gaara?"

"Carry him to the hospital."

"Wait what? I'll...I'll get my suit dirty."

Gaara stared at his brother.

"Haha just kidding bro! Of course I'll carry him. Not like this suit cost me $10,000 or anything..."

-Back at Konoha-

Shikamaru stared at the scene in front of him. "Well shit. Gonna have to exhaust our budget to fix this shit. What a drag."

"How can you be so calm?" responded Konohamaru. "He literally went Legendary Super Saiyan. He could've killed someone!"

"But he didn't, did he," responded Hanabi. "His subconscious stopped him from causing serious harm. Honestly, it's basic human biology."

Konohamaru stared at her, wondering how the hell she could be so calm. Truth was though, she was just as shook as him. Not since the 4th Great Shinobi war has her brother-in-law displayed such power.

"It's as she says," responded Shikamaru, still assessing the damage. "The Jounin squad reported that nobody got hurt." Unexpectedly, he took a seat on the ground and started reaching into his pockets.

"What're you doing?" asked Hanabi and Konohamaru in unison.

"Hold on, this is important." From his right pocket he pulled out a Black & Mild blunt wrap and from his left pocket he pulled out a small sack of weed. He then started rolling it on the spot.

Hanabi and Konohamaru blinked a few times to make sure their eyes weren't deceiving them. Then they both screamed in unison, "ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?"

"You literally had a dozen bong rips back at the office!" wailed Hanabi.

"I told you didn't I." Shikamaru didn't loose focus of his rolling technique. "It's essential to my well-being." Truth was, Shikamaru didn't get high for the experience or the giggles. He had a physical need for it because of the person he worked for. No sober human being could be around Naruto for that many hours of the day. Except for Hinata of course. But she was kinda weird.

He finished his rolling and stood back up. He pulled out a lighter from his vest pocket, lit his blunt, and looked back at the angry duo. "Shall we continue?"

Naruto had run on the street while in the village, thus avoiding the buildings. In Konoha forest however, he pierced his way through the trees and boulders. "Damn. And we literally had plans to construct a path here in the upcoming weeks." said Shikamaru.

Hanabi and Konohamaru cautiously followed close behind. Shikamaru had told them what they should expect to encounter. The thought of battling high class rouge shinobi was terrifying but Shikamaru insisted they tag along. "You guys caused Naruto to go ape-shit. You guys gotta fix it."

It wasn't long until the entrance of the cave was in sight. They hid behind some bushes about 100 feet away and quietly watched for suspicious activity. After about 5 minutes, they walked inside.

The entrance wasn't illuminated at all aside from the sunlight. The cave was wide enough for all of them to walk side-by-side. After a few minutes of walking there was still no light so Shikamaru pulled out a flashlight. "Well this is interesting," he said after still not seeing any sign of human activity. "Did they take their operation elsewhere?"

Konohamaru's face lit up like a small puppy being offered bacon. "So we can leave then?"

Hanabi shushed him. "Quiet! You'll get us caught!"

"Caught? Are you blind? There's nothing here."

"Then why are you whispering?" smirked Hanabi.

"Can both you kids please shut up?" asked Shikamaru.

Suddenly they heard footsteps approaching them. They quickly dived behind some rocks and waited for them to pass. Hanabi used her Byakugan to analyse the men. Two adult shinobi with backpacks were laughing and drinking as they walked towards the cave entrance.

"They seem to be normal shinobi. Nothing about their bodies seem odd." reported Hanabi.

Konohamaru was sweating now. It had been so long since he had a real fight, and now in a cave of all places. Still, at least it wasn't a swamp. There are giant green terrors lurking there...

The three of them continued their downward decent and soon encountered torches lighting their path. After about another minute of walking they heard chatter. Quietly they tiptoed behind some rocks and looked at the scene in front of them.

And what a scene it was! A lake half the size of a football field lay in front of them. The cave ceiling must have been 50 feet high. A wooden bridge spanned across the lake and at the end of it there were two men playing cards. To the left of the lake was a woman digging through some boxes. And only a couple feet in front of Shikamaru and company stood two more men smoking cigarettes. Shikamaru inched his head a little closer to them. "Those ain't cigs. Mothaphukas got weed down here."

Hanabi couldn't believe where Shikamaru's mind was. Konohamaru though was feeling a bit better. It would be a lot easier fighting them if they were baked. Then again, that one time when Lee smoked weed he actually pulled off some ninjutsu. Damn, maybe he should steal some off Shikamaru.

Shikamaru only recognized one of the men at the very end. A B-Rank criminal wanted for setting a Gamestop on fire. The rest he didn't know. They all wore traditional leaf jounin outfits, no doubt for blending in with the village.

Just then Shikamaru's phone started vibrating. He quickly but quietly walked back a few steps and answered. "Sakura, I can't ta -"

"Shikamaru!" she was screaming. "The patients! The ones that were attacked. They've turned into zombies!"

Shikamaru was baffled. "Zombies? What the hell are you saying?"

"You heard me! They were getting better but all the sudden they started attacking the hospital staff. They don't seem to be conscious of their actions."

Shikamaru was speechless which was not something Hanabi and Konohamaru often saw. They huddled close to the phone.

"I couldn't even knock them out. I don't think they can feel pain. I have them detained in a closet but I don't know what to do next."

"Sakura, I don't know what to say. First Naruto ran off God knows where and now this..."

"Naruto ran off? Where'd that moron go? I swear to Go - " She was cut off by a loud noise followed by screaming.

"Sakura? Sakura! What happened?"

A few seconds later she picked up the phone. "An explosion! From the research facility down the street! I don't...I gotta go!" She hung up the phone.

"Sakura? Shit! Now what the fuck?"

"Yes, what the fuck indeed."

The trio turned around and saw two shinobi staring at them. "We were enjoying a smoke, talking about life and our ambitions when all the sudden we hear a voice we don't recognize. And who might it be? A couple of assholes who weren't invited to the party."

Shikamaru and Hanabi got into their fighting stances. Konohamaru was momentarily frozen but quickly did the same.

"Damn." Shikamaru said. "And to top it all off I'm starting to come down. What a drag this day turned out to be."