PART 3
(Fade to the studio, where Mr. Peabody addresses the audience with a smile.)
Mr. Peabody: Hello, everyone! Now, for our first guest, the first king of the Shang Dynasty and the inventor of ice cream, welcome King Tang of the Shang Dynasty!
(King Tang steps out of the WABAC with 94 servants who help him make ice cream, known as ice men.)
King Tang: Ni hao, everybody! I am King Tang of the Shang Dynasty, glory of the Middle Kingdom! And today, you'll learn how to make my favorite snack: ICE CREAM! (His eyes sparkle.)
Mr. Peabody: I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
King Tang: Ice men, go gather some ice-
Mr. Peabody: Oh, we have a machine for that in the modern day. You put water in ice trays, then you put it in the freezer, then it freezes into ice, then you put the ice cubes in a container, then-
King Tang: Alright, then. (Turns towards his ice men) You can have your lunch break now. (The 94 men go into the WABAC and go back to their era. King Tang turns around, removes a giant pot out from his pocket, places it on the floor, and pulls out a giant spoon and some ingredients.) So you put in buffalo milk… (He pours a carton of buffalo milk into the pot.) …camphor… (He pours a jar of edible camphor into the pot.) …flour… (He pours a bag of flour into the pot.) …and ice. (Mr. Peabody runs offscreen and come back onscreen with a big bag of ice. He gives it to King Tang, who thanks him before pouring the ice in.) And then, YOU STIR! (He wildly stirs as if he was a machine and bits of ice fly out. The tickle belt music from SpongeBob plays as he mixes the ice cream. After mixing it up, he scoops two scoops of ice cream up, puts them in waffle cones, and tops a cherry on each cone.) VOILA! Ancient Chinese ice cream! (He runs offscreen, and then comes back onscreen on a horse-drawn carriage, with the ice cream truck song playing.)
King Tang: It's all free! All you have to do is get in line!
(Everyone rushes to the line. First in line are Sherman and Penny, and directly behind them is Maria Garcia. King Tang's hand reaches out of the carriage to give them the ice cream.)
Sherman and Penny: (simultaneously) Thanks!
(They head to a sofa to eat. But just then, Bird Baby swoops in and eats the ice cream right off their cones, those poor kids. They start crying immediately. Meanwhile, closer to the main camera…)
King Tang: GASP! He stole! He didn't get in line!
Bird Baby: Uhh… sorry! I just like ice cream so much…!
King Tang: GET IN LINE FOR ICE CREAM!
Mr. Peabody: Uh oh, King Tang of Shang just went berserk!
Bird Baby: Okay… I'll get in line.
(One hundred waits in line and one million grams of sprinkles later…)
Servant: A prophecy for the emperor!
King Tang: Yes? (He takes the cracked tortoise shell with engraved Chinese symbols on it and reads it.) Hmm… soon, you will have bad luck, very bad lu-
Bird Baby: SUGAR RUSH!
(Cue the Benny Hill theme. Bird Baby flies in crazed patterns around the penthouse from the one million grams of sprinkles, knocking over bookcases, breaking lamps, and causing the circle chair Mr. Peabody sits in to crash down to the floor and start rolling at a fast pace. King Tang tries to run from the chair, but gets crushed by it. Mr. Peabody, Sherman, and Penny are running away from the chair. Cut to show a paper-thin King Tang.)
King Tang: Oh goodness.
(Meanwhile, back at the chase…)
Sherman: RUN!
Mr. Peabody: Why is it always me getting the short end of the stick?!
Penny: Oh my goodness! First, I get chased around in Ancient Egypt, and then I almost cause the Trojan Horse to roll off a cliff, now I'm being chased around by a giant egg?! The Fates must like fooling around with me!
(Cut to across the room; the Fates of Greek myth are fooling around with Penny indirectly. One of them is repeatedly plucking Penny's string of life as if it were a guitar string.)
(Cut back to the chase.)
Mr. Peabody: AAAAHHHH! Technical difficulties screen! TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES SCREEN!
(Show the technical difficulties screen, which in the center, there is a text box saying "TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE STAND BY". Cue "Spanish Flea" by Herb Alpert. About 10 seconds in, the screen fades out.)
(Cue the "Welcome Back!" screen.)
Mr. Peabody: Hello everybody, and welcome back! We just got the problem fixed up, and now, Sherman and his friend, Penny, are eating ice cream together on a bench.
(Cut to them eating ice cream on a bench. A heart shape floats upwards, but just then, Shelby and Sandy notice this and become jealous.)
Shelby: GASP!
Sandy: Arrgh!
Penny: (turns around, enraged) NOT YOU!
(Penny, who is in an extreme rage, walks up to the stage audience in an extreme unstoppable rage and puts Shelby and Sandy in a chokehold. Orchoptitron plays angry heavy instrumental metal music.. A raging flame background replaces the backdrop of the penthouse as Penny's rage is shown in "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure" style and a love triangle, I mean, love quadrilateral, is born.)
Penny: You… YOU STOLE MY LOVE WHILE I WAS GONE! You thieves! Dirty knaves! Why did… why did you?! You will pay, I swear! You dogs! You don't know how much I will wreck you! How could you be so atrocious?! Not even a garbage can would want to smell your blabbering words! I'm never telling you that I kissed Sherman in the sunset before I left for LA!
Sandy: You… already told… us!
Penny: Nobody care- (shocked, mistaking Sandy's cornrows for caterpillars) Caterpillars on your head?! (screams in panic) I HATE CATERPILLARS! Sherman!
Sherman: AAHH! CATERPILLARS! (slaps Sandy's head repeatedly, mistaking her cornrows for caterpillars) AAHH! GET 'EM FOREVER! SANDY! THERE'S CATERPILLARS ON YOUR HEAD!
Mr. Peabody: Well, Penny's a lot dumber than I remembered her.
(The whole audience laughs.)
(Sandy, mistaking Penny for a jerk, tries to punch her, but punches Shelby instead. Shelby slaps Penny in the face. A cloud of dust forms around them as the fight rages on and the serious music stops, replaced by the Benny Hill theme. Sherman tries to stop the quarreling, but it's too late now, so he runs away.)
Sherman: AAAAHHHH!
Mr. Peabody: God help us for heaven's sake! AHHHH! Somebody!
Shelby: I WILL HAVE SHERMAN AT ALL COSTS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAH!
Sandy: I deserve Sherman more than you creatures!
Penny: Who did you call a creature?!
(The entire audience gasps.)
(Christine walks through the elevator door. She tries to intervene through the fighting. Cue the Benny Hill theme.)
Christine: Hey! Stop it, children!
Mr. Peabody: The one time where an interruption turns out to be useful.
(A fist rises from the cloud of dust and punches her. She runs after the fighting girls, who run away from her, and Sherman runs away from them.)
Mr. Peabody: AAHHH! A love triangle! I mean a love quadrilateral! Well, while *pant* Christine *pant* handles *pant* this *pant* we'll *pant* return *pant* to *pant* the *pant* time *pant* travel *pant* story…!
TO BE CONTINUED
(A/N: Well, now, a love quadrilateral has formed, and things don't look too well. Meanwhile, in the time travel story, how will Qin Shihuangdi ever be convinced to build the Great Wall? And what wackiness lies ahead of them? Find out in the next chapter of the story!)
(A/N: Sorry that I made one of your favorite (?) characters in the movie a dummy and not just someone with average intelligence, but I wanted to make things funny, plus, Sherman is dumber in the show than in the movie. No offense to anyone, and especially no offense to any blondes who are reading.)