Over the course of my life thus far, I had heard many a warrior describe seeing their entire life pass before their eyes when faced with near-certain death.
In those few moments, as I fell, I learned exactly what that entailed.
The gut-wrenching feeling of my feet leaving the solid stone of the wall, as my body lurched backwards into a free fall towards the rocky ground below, was only eclipsed by the emotional pain of watching my mother die again, of reliving my father's abandonment, of seeing Hektor murdered then dragged away by Achilles while we watched in stupefied horror, of seeing Paris walk out to face Menelaus, and of my home engulfed in flames. I saw the faces of my temple sisters, Cassandra's lifeless eyes staring upwards from her bed, and the faces of those I had killed.
But there were good times too. I relived my cousin's wedding and the birth of her son. I baked bread with my mother then helped her rescue an owlet who had just fledged and found its way into our home somehow. I danced and laughed with Hektor, ran through the gardens with Briseis, and read on my balcony with Cassandra. I also saw Paris, holding my hand at my mother's funeral, tugging on my hair with an infuriating smile when I was twelve. I saw the moment when he realized something was different about me shortly after I became a woman and saw the playfulness in his eyes turn to admiration and...sadness. Then I saw myself kissing him and sending him off to battle, teaching him the basics of archery and, finally, dancing with him only hours earlier.
Tears spilled from my eyes and were whisked away by the air rushing past me, as I waited for my body to shatter upon the ground.
I should have died.
But, instead of the searing pain of flesh and bone meeting dirt and stone, strong arms and a body nearly as solid as rock broke my fall. My neck snapped back painfully, bright lights exploded in front of my eyes, then I caught a glimpse of a beautiful tormented face before darkness closed in.
I was unsure how much time had passed before I woke, my eyes snapping open, muscles tense, expecting to see the haggard and fiery-eyed boatman of the underworld standing on the shore of the Nyx, demanding his fare to ferry my spirit across. But, instead of smoke, haze, and rivers, I only saw stars. Literally.
Where was I?
Blinking, I did a quick self-examination and discovered that I was laying on a flat surface- which I assumed was stone, my neck and shoulders hurt terribly, and the cuts and scratches on my arms still stung but I was otherwise unharmed. Physically, anyway. My mind was in complete chaos from all of the memories I had recently seen and their associated emotions and it took me several moments, and deep breaths, to regain my ability to think clearly. It was a miracle that I could think at all.
An owl called in the distance, to my left, but that was the only sound that reached my ears and, gritting my teeth against the pain, I turned onto my side. Only then did I register that I was in the middle of the forest somewhere. Gradually, I recalled that the only building constructed of stone in the forest, was the temple of Artemis and I realized that Ares must have brought me there after I fainted. He had, also, apparently retrieved my sack of supplies because, as my eyes adjusted to the dim light of the moon, I saw the outline of it close to my head. The god, himself, however, was nowhere to be seen and an aching sadness came over me. He had saved me, despite having lost me when Troy fell, but had disappeared before I could thank him and my people were nowhere in sight.
I was alone.
Contrary and headstrong creature that I was, even as a child, I'd had few friends – save my sisters in the temple- which had not bothered me in the slightest. Much as I had loved the company of those I called family, there had always been times when I preferred solitude and silence in order to relax and organize my thoughts.
This was not one of those times.
After seeing my best friend dead by her own hand, watching my people being slaughtered around me, and throwing myself off a wall with the intent to join them in the underworld only to wake up alive on the temple steps, I needed the company of another living person. I needed to see, with my own eyes, that my cousin and her baby had survived.
Despite my weariness, I forced myself to my feet and opened my bag, feeling around until I found my flint and a candle, keeping my ears open for any sound of someone approaching. The grounds were deserted and there were no signs of anyone having been here since the priestesses left. When I went inside and held my candle aloft, I discovered that the temple itself was entirely untouched, aside from a few birds' nests in the supports and a mouse or two scurrying about.
As if I hadn't felt bad enough, horror and guilt seized my chest as the realization came to me that I had directly contributed to the deaths of my high priestess and temple sisters by bringing them into the city. Had I instead told them to stay in the temple, they would likely have lived.
Oh Gods, why? My stomach lurched and I ran to the back of the temple where the water closet was, only just managing to reach the pot before my stomach emptied itself. When the heaving finally stopped, I sat back, wiped my mouth, and closed my eyes, praying to my lady for forgiveness.
Then I heard a voice nearby, one I recognized and had thought I would never hear again. Helenus.
"Did you find her body?"
"No. At least five of our men said they saw her jump from the walls but when Aeolus and Petrus went to ensure it was indeed her, there was no body to be seen"
"I am not surprised. Ares would not allow her to die and she was a priestess of Artemis so she is likely in the temple"
My blood ran cold as I heard whoever was with him order that the entrances be blocked until the temple had been inspected and I slowly, silently, closed the door then stood in front of my candle so that it would not cast any shadows.
There was one thing that Helenus, being unfamiliar with the temple precincts, was unaware of. The water closet was within the apothecary and had a window - which faced the forest- so that the odour of refuse would not permeate the temple itself. From the outside, said window looked small but it was actually large enough that, if the thin curtain was removed, someone my size could easily climb out.
One would think that after all I had been through thus far, including my most recent episode of vomiting, that my energy reserves would have been depleted and I wouldn't have been able to even think clearly. However, I was overwhelmed by both adrenaline and my fury at Helenus' betrayal of our people and, together, they gave me more than enough motivation.
But I had to act fast. I didn't know how many other men were with him but I knew there were at least two and I withdrew the knife strapped to my right calve. Helenus called my name and I rolled my eyes when the sound of a door being thrown open echoed through the temple. Did he really think I was stupid enough to reveal myself after he had already tried to attack me once before?
Crouching with my knife at ready, I slowed my breathing and listened as calls of "nothing" and "not here" sounded from various places in the temple and, when Helenus spoke again, his voice was tight with frustration "she must be here. There is nowhere else she could hide, save the forest itself, and that would be a death wish at this time of night. The wolves would eat her alive"
I smirked to myself at that, because he was completely wrong. Wolves hunted primarily during the day and at twilight. Only if they failed to catch any prey during the daylight hours did they hunt at night and, even so, humans were not their preferred prey.
The footsteps entered the apothecary and I raised an eyebrow as someone proceeded to open the drawers and cabinets. Did they really think a human being could fit in drawers intended for herbs?
The king certainly brought his brightest men to sack our city I thought derisively and here I thought the Spartans killed off the stupid ones in childhood.
"No one and nothing here" a man, not Helenus, called from just outside the water closet door and my heart began to pound. But just as I thought he was going to open the door and expose me, he moved away and his footsteps grew quieter, signalling that he was leaving the room. My mouth went slack with disbelief Seriously? He is leaving? he cannot possibly have missed the door handle.
There had to be a catch. If Helenus truly believed I was there, then there was no way they would just leave after having checked the temple. Chances are, they would patrol the grounds until daylight, do another search, and then leave if they failed to find me...and daylight could not be far off.
Out in the temple chamber, it sounded like Helenus was having a fit, spoiled traitorous brat I thought angrily but I had to act. Once the sun rose, they would surely find me- at which point, my only escape would be suicide – and I was not about to give myself up for dead without a fight. While Helenus was in the midst of his tantrum, I picked up the half-full pot and carefully set it in front of the door then blew out my candle. If I was going to escape through the window, I would have to do so in complete darkness and just pray that I didn't break anything when I landed. To keep myself from free-falling to the ground, I took hold of my bag, gave it a good twist to immobilize the contents inside, then positioned the heaviest part in the window, with the intention of dragging it down after me.
Gingerly moving the curtain completely aside, I peered out at the sky and my heart jumped into my throat when I saw that it had lightened very faintly. My prediction about the nearness of dawn had been correct.
I had to go...NOW.
The Fates must have been looking the other way that day. Or, at least, that was my conclusion whenever I looked back on it in the years that followed because, based on the facts, I should have been killed five times over.
However, it was apparent that the natural laws governing mortal creatures did not apply to me because I somehow managed to escape into the forest, without being caught, and also to kill Helenus. The latter turned out to be relatively easy because his Greek companions quickly tired of his madness and went back to the torched city to rejoin the army, leaving him sitting on the temple steps. Once they were far enough away, I left my supply bag at the treeline and went back into the temple through the rear entrance then called his name and hid. Just as I had suspected he would, he charged into the temple like a rabid dog, wild eyed, and started calling me all sorts of foul names until I crept up behind him and drove the blade of my hunting knife through his neck. Silence descended on the temple again and I felt completely numb as I dragged his body back to steps and laid it out for the animals to do as they wished with it. Then I retrieved my bag and, with a whispered thanks to the gods and one last glance at the temple, walked into the forest.
Never to return again...except in my dreams.
When the building was out of sight, I started walking towards the western coast, reasoning that it was the most logical place for the hidden tunnel to end. After walking for what felt like eternity, I started to feel tired. The chaotic sleepless night was finally taking its toll on my weary body and I stumbled then stopped to catch my breath. Where in Hades was everyone?
My arms and legs were getting scratched by branches and brambles and the skirt of my gown was catching on nearly everything, making the journey all the more unpleasant, but, once again, I forced myself to move forward.
I am going to pay dearly for this whenever I finally am able to rest I thought, stifling a yawn with the back of my hand and that was the last coherent thought I had. Because, after walking a few more feet, I looked to my left for only a moment as I stepped out of the trees into a clearing before running headlong into a solid armour clad body.
My legs gave out and I collapsed onto the dry grass, too weak to catch myself, my head spinning from pain and the lack of water, but I stayed conscious just long enough to see who I had unintentionally accosted. Paris stared down at me, his lips parted in shock, and he fell to his knees next to me, with a cry that was unlike any I had ever heard before in my life.
Then my vision went black.