PART 5
(Fade to the studio, where Mr. Peabody addresses the audience with a smile.)
Mr. Peabody: Hello, everybody! The fight only got even worse, and Christine could not help! It's time for Sherman's Corner!
Sherman's Corner
Sherman: Here's how I usually break up fights between my friends when nothing else works.
(He runs into the middle of the fight and he does the chicken dance solo, and sings the lyrics.)
Sherman: (singing) I don't wanna be a duck, I don't wanna be a chicken, I just wanna be me! I don't wanna be a duck, I don't wanna be a chicken, I just wanna be me! I don't wanna be a duck, I don't wanna be a-
(He gets sucked into the fight. Orchoptitron plays silly music to the fight.)
Sherman: AGH! OOF! OW! AGH! THAT HURTS! Huh, the chicken dance usually works.
Mr. Hobson: Hey! I'll help! (He tries breaking up the fight, but gets sucked into the fight. Cue 20 seconds of fighting, covered by a cloud of dust.)
Mr. Peabody: We'll be right back after the commercial break!
We'll Be Right Back!
…
Welcome Back!
Mr. Peabody: Welcome back, everyone! As you can see, I was able to quell their conflict by splashing cool water on them. They did seem to still have disdain for each other, though. So anyways, here are our next historical guests: the world's first fusion cook and famous Italian merchant, Marco Polo! And please also welcome the founder of the Yuan Dynasty and the emperor whom the aforementioned Marco Polo met in China, Kublai Khan!
(Marco Polo walks out of the WABAC.)
Marco Polo: Hey-yo, guys! Oh, it's you, Hector and Sherman! Long time no see, eh? It's time you meet my friend, well, it's more like a master-and-subject relation, but meet the Great Khan!
(Cue the stereotypical Chinese riff as Kublai Khan exits the WABAC.)
Mr. Peabody: That theme isn't supposed to be playing! He's not Chinese! (beat) Well, to be fair, he is the emperor of China at Marco Polo's time.
Kublai Khan: Hello everybody, and BARBARBARBARBARBAR! (Everybody laughs.) You looking so excited! Well, Marco Polo cooking good food up! I loves his food! I beings Kublai Khan, emperor of Yuan Dynasty! Ready, setting, goes!
Marco Polo: So, make the dough for the pizza! (He makes the dough.) Then, toss it! (He tosses it in the air while doing Pee-Wee Herman's dance.) Then, you put the tomato sauce on! (He smears the tomato sauce all around the pizza dough, except for the crust.) Then, the cheese! (He throws grated mozzarella cheese all over the pizza.) And now, to top this off… (He puts minced tarantula and crumbled stinky tofu on the pizza. He then puts the gross Lovecraftian horror of a pizza into the oven, and then in a few seconds it dings, and there's the pizza.) Here! My specialty: Tarantula and Stinky Tofu Pizza!
Audience: Eww!
Kublai Khan: I try you pizza! (He takes a slice out of it.) Yum yum, it tastes like heaven!
Mr. Peabody: Try again, Marco Polo.
(The tickle belt music from SpongeBob plays as Marco Polo tries making new foods.)
Marco Polo: Blah blah blah blah… (covered in dust as he makes the dish) Bird's Nest and Meatball Soup! It has the actual nest of a cave swift in it!
Kublai Khan: I try you soup! (He tries it.) Yummy!
Mr. Peabody: Try again.
Marco Polo: Blah blah blah blah… (covered in dust as he makes the dish) Pigeon Meatballs and Moldy Noodles Drizzled in Szechuan Sauce!
Kublai Khan: I try you meatballs! (He tries it.) Yummy!
Mr. Peabody: Try again.
Marco Polo: Blah blah blah blah… (covered in dust as he makes the dish) Sautéed Slimy Silkworm Drizzled in Marinara Sauce!
Kublai Khan: I try you silkworm! (He tries it.) Yummy!
Mr. Peabody: Try again.
Marco Polo: Blah blah blah blah… (covered in dust as he makes the dish) Tarantula Meatballs on a Skewer Drizzled in Cave Swift Saliva!
Kublai Khan: I try you skewered meatballs! (He tries it.) Yummy!
Mr. Peabody: Try again.
Marco Polo: Blah blah blah blah… (covered in dust as he makes the dish) Dumplings Stuffed with Authentic Italian Meatballs!
Kublai Khan: I try you dumplings! (He tries it.) Yummy!
Mr. Peabody: Hmm… Actually sounds appetizing! (He tries it. The silly music stops.) Mmm, delicious!
Marco Polo: Bye, dudes and dudettes! It was- (looks out the window) Ooh, what do you call this city of lights and crystals?
Mr. Peabody: Oh, that? That's New York City.
Marco Polo: Oh yes! Marco Polo loves New York City! I think wanna move here! (He gestures Kublai Khan to come over to the window.) Look, this city's nice! I think we should move our pleasure dome atop the roof for a better view!
Kublai Khan: (He looks outside) Me think us move to New York! Me like New York! You right! Me be right back! (He leaves to order his servants to get the pleasure dome into present-day New York. He comes back in the WABAC, and following him is a primitive crane carrying his entire pleasure dome, which breaks through the ceiling.)
Mr. Peabody: AAAHHH! STOP IT! (Dust everywhere. The dust settles, the palace has been moved, Marco Polo and Kublai Khan have already moved to the roof, the hole in the roof has been repaired, and the construction crew goes back to ancient China.)
Mr. Peabody: Well, Kublai Khan moved his palace to the top of the apartment despite my pleas. Now, history's gonna be ruined forever if I don't somehow find a way to get him back to the right- (Loud saloon music, specifically a piano rendition of "Camptown Races", plays from the palace.) AAAGH! My ears! Wait- this doesn't even match the music of China or Mongolia!
Sherman: Who cares? This is nice music! (He uses a periscope coming out of nowhere to peek into the bar section of the palace, which has a glass dome. [A glass dome?! What?!] A bar fight rages on in the bar.)
Sherman: Ooh! This makes me want to make this place the Wild West! Oh Sweet Tune! Bring the Wild West to the apartment!
Mr. Peabody: NO!
(Sweet Tune plays the first few notes of the "A Fistful of Dollars" theme. The area is instantly turned into a hot desert with cacti, rattlesnakes, and the elevator instantly looks like it belongs in the Wild West. The rest of the theme plays.)
Penny: It's too steaming hot in this room! And I never came for darn rattlesnakes!
Paul: Please help me! I hate rattlesnakes!
(Captain Cools is sweating and groans before all his fur burns off of him, leaving him without his fur.)
(Out of the WABAC comes Billy the Kid, with a water pistol.)
Patty: AAHHHH! Oh wait, a water pistol is just a water- (She gets launched to the other end of the room with a water pistol. Billy the Kid then ties her up.)
Penny: (fearful) NO! MOMMY!
Sherman: (missing the point, due to his IQ of 2) Ooh! A real Wild West movie!
Penny: Umm, this is real life! (Zoom out to reveal they are, in fact, in a cartoon Netflix series. The viewers on the couch watching this Netflix series are Li Shang, Mable, Kid Danger, and Hiccup.) This isn't some kid's cartoon or movie or whatever. (The studio audience laughs.)
Sherman: (looks out the screen) Actually, it's a safe bet that we are in a kid's cartoon, based on the time bar and Netflix logo. But alright, I'll help you. (His hand reaches out of the TV screen.) Hey, dudes! How's life?
(The viewers all scream and run away from the sofa. Zoom back in to TV screen mode.)
Sherman: Alright. (He ties a pool noodle into a lasso.) Hey-yayayayaya! (He throws the lasso, only for Billy the Kid to use it against him to tie him up.)
Mr. Peabody: NO! SHERMAN! SHERMAN! (He turns towards the audience.) While we get this problem fixed up, let's hear the rest of the time travel adventure!
Billy the Kid: I'll have my revenge!
(Fade out of the dusty scene.)
TO BE CONTINUED
(A/N: Oh my, the situation has really escalated! First, the Petersons got in during a particularly messy topic, then a love triangle formed, then Kublai Khan moved his palace to New York, then the Wild West came to the penthouse?! Oh boy. Meanwhile, in the time travel adventure, expect silly hijinks to ensue.)