Murphy's hands were painfully wrapped around Mara's throat, squeezing her neck and stopping her from breathing entirely. Her vision was almost completely black and she could feel unconsciousness crawling into her mind. She wanted to fall prey to the darkness, to make the pain stop but an awful thought flashed angrily in her mind. If she allowed herself to fall unconscious, Charlotte would have no one to protect her. Yes, she was with Finn and Clarke, but how long would they be able to keep running for? Bellamy was lying, knocked out, on the ground and Mara was the only person left to stall Murphy. She couldn't bear the image of Charlotte hanging lifelessly from a tree, her body beaten and bloody. She could not let Murphy harm the little girl she had grown so close to.
She tried to ignore the unbearable ache in her muscles as she jerked her knee upwards to collide with Murphy's groin. He grunted in pain as he stumbled away from Mara, his fingers losing their grip on her throat. Mara heaved in a deep breath that burned her throat as her lungs were finally filled with much-needed air. She collapsed to the ground, her legs unable to take her weight as agonising coughs wracked her body. Her eyes watered as she tried to control her breathing. She had taken too much air in after being denied it for so long and her body couldn't handle the sudden change. She scolded herself for being weak and unable to cope with what had happened to her but her body wouldn't comply with her demands to stand up. Her arms twitched as she tried to raise herself from the ground but she only collapsed again, her face colliding with the dirt. She spluttered out the muck that she had accidentally taken into her mouth, grimacing at the unpleasant taste but that wasn't her biggest concern. Her biggest concern was finding Charlotte before Murphy. She shakily raised her head only to curse when she saw that the tent was empty, Murphy and his men had left her in a heaving mess to charge into the forest to search for Charlotte.
"Mara!" A pair of boots stormed into her line of sight. She lifted her head to find Nathan's panicked face swimming above her.
"Help me up," she croaked and forced herself to lift her arm towards him. He grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet, wrapping his arm around her waist to help her stand. She winced when his hand pressed down too hard on her side and her head spun with dizziness.
"What the hell happened?" Nathan demanded as he steadily guided her out of the tent.
"Murphy," Mara spat out, giving Nathan all the answer he needed.
The hundred were gathered around them, some gasping in shock when Mara and Nathan emerged from the tent. Her burning eyes drifted to where Bellamy had landed unconscious only to find him slowly sitting up with Octavia fretting over him. Bellamy's head twisted round when he heard movement behind him, his eyes narrowing when he saw the sorry state Mara was in. Mara was glad to see that he was awake and that Murphy hadn't done any permanent damage but her relief was short-lived when she remembered Charlotte.
She patted her pockets down, looking for her knife and nodding to herself when she felt it in the side pocket of her jacket. She had no other weapon on her and she had no idea how to fight – the only thing she did know was to not tuck her thumb into her fist – but she knew that she would go down swinging to save Charlotte. She shifted under Nathan's arm, making it fall away from her and causing him to glance at her in concern.
"I'm going to find Charlotte," she brushed past him, stumbling over her feet when his had shot out to stop her.
"No." Nathan's voice was firm as he spoke, he was clearly giving her an order but it was an order she would never comply with.
"You can't stop me." She stared him down, her gaze unwavering even though her eyes felt like they were on fire and she instinctively knew that they were bloodshot.
"Mara…" he sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly as he looked at his determined friend.
"I don't have time for this," Mara muttered in exasperation and pulled her arm from Nathan's grip.
"Just leave it, Mara!" Nathan called after her, jogging to catch up with her. "She killed Wells!"
"Did you not listen to a word I said?" She spun on her heel to face him, forcing him to stop running just before he collided with her. "She won't get away with killing him but that doesn't mean she has to die. She's just a kid, Nathan!"
The two friends stared at each other in an impasse. Mara wanted to save Charlotte, she needed to, and there was nothing that was going to stand in her way. Nathan was her best friend, the only friend she had had in a long time since her friends on The Ark abandoned her after she was arrested, but she wouldn't let him use their friendship to stop her.
Nathan was torn. He had wanted Murphy to be floated when he was accused of Wells' murder, he had wanted to see the boy suffer but when he was faced with the idea of Charlotte being executed, the solution wasn't so clear-cut. He had spent every day since landing on Earth with the little girl, he had seen her braiding flowers together and laughing with the other delinquents the same age as her and never once had he thought that she would be capable of murder. If anything, Nathan had thought that Charlotte would have to toughen up if she wanted to survive. It seemed as if he had gotten his wish, only it had completely backfired on him.
He could see the determination in Mara's bloodshot eyes and the lock of her jaw that said that she would not back down. He knew that he would not be able to stop her but he couldn't let her get hurt, not for Charlotte at least, but he couldn't help her save the life of a murderer.
Mara held his eyes, unflinching even as he seemed to be boring holes into her head. His rust colored eyes gave away every emotion he was feeling and when they seemed to soften subtly, Mara knew that she had won yet it gave her no sense of joy or achievement. She didn't want to fight with him but understood that she would have to if it meant saving Charlotte from Murphy.
"You can't go alone, it's too dangerous." Nathan tried to reason with her though he knew it was a lost cause.
"Either come with me and shut up or stay here and let me go alone." Mara had had enough of being treated like a child. She knew that she would never be able to handle Murphy on her own but she was more than capable of finding Charlotte and running as far she could with the little girl in tow. "You have three seconds to decide." She commanded, mentally counting down the seconds. She could see him debating with himself, his eyes flashing over her face as he took in the splash of mud across her jawline and the faint beginnings of deep bruises along her neck.
"You won't be alone." Bellamy purposefully marched up to them, straightening his jacket and flinging some of his curls from his forehead. He nodded stiffly at Mara before patting Nathan on the back. "Get everyone back to building the wall," he ordered Nathan before stalking into the forest, not waiting for Mara to catch up with him.
Mara gave Nathan one last appraising look and shaking her head sadly as she turned to join Bellamy in the forest. She ignored the pain in her side, hoping that it would fade quickly. It made her feel like her ribs were burning her from the inside out but she tried to push it aside, along with the aching in her throat and the dull throbbing at the base of her spine. She couldn't imagine the number of bruises she would have and dreaded to think of how long they would last.
The forest was eerily silent as the two walked side by side; scanning the trees for any sign of Charlotte or Murphy and his followers but everywhere they looked was just a line of endless trees. They walked with no real destination in mind until Mara gave a huff of irritation and pulled Bellamy to a stop. He slowly turned to face her, quirking his eyebrow at her in annoyance.
"We'll never find her if we keep going like this," Mara complained, throwing her arms wide and gesturing to the vast number of uniform trees.
"Well, what do you suggest we do?" He asked sardonically, crossing his arms over his chest in what was quickly becoming his identifying pose.
"I don't know." Mara puffed in exasperation, her eyes scanning the trees again. Bellamy rolled his eyes as he turned away from her once more to head in the direction they had been walking. "Wait!" Mara called out to him, rolling her own eyes when he threw his head back and groaned at being forced to stop walking again.
"What?" He looked over his shoulder at her, not bothering to turn around, believing that whatever she had to say would be a waste of time.
"We've been going about this the wrong way," that grabbed his attention as he finally turned around to face her but he retained his typically unimpressed look.
"What are you talking about it?"
"Look, we've been walking through this forest as Mara and Bellamy, right?" She paused, frowning at him when he looked at her incredulously. She held up her hand to stop him from interrupting her as she continued, "okay, we can't be Mara and Bellamy. We need to think like Charlotte, okay? So where would Charlotte take Clarke and Finn?" Bellamy continued to stare at her, his brows set in a hard line as he waited for her to elaborate. "The cave, Bellamy! The cave we hid in from the acid fog." Excitement flashed in his eyes as they widened fractionally.
"This way," he marched passed her but there was excitement in his walk.
It was an excitement that Mara wasn't ready to feel. She had only guessed that Charlotte would head to the cave but anxiety bubbled in her heart telling her that she had been wrong.
What if Finn and Clarke took her somewhere else? What if Charlotte didn't have a say in where they went? You could be going in the opposite direction of where she is. Murphy could find her before you. Murphy could have already found her. She could already be dead. Mara almost made herself dizzy from the thoughts that whirled around her head. The idea that Charlotte could have already been caught made her sick to her stomach. She had to force the anxiety that raged inside her down as she trudged behind Bellamy. She picked a seam that ran down the middle of his jacket and stared at it with such intensity that the world around her almost seemed to disappear. His jacket was the only thing that kept her grounded and stopped her from falling apart. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes and she forced herself not to let them overwhelm her, to stay focused on finding Charlotte alive.
She quickened her pace until she was walking beside Bellamy, her shoulder occasionally brushing against his arm. If he noticed the small contact, he didn't say anything nor did he make any effort to pull away from her. Mara was comforted by the little amount of physical contact as, though she could see Bellamy beside her, she found herself feeling alone, that she was on a one-woman mission. Her shoulder occasionally bumping into him forced her to acknowledge that she wasn't alone and that someone was with her. She was grateful that Bellamy had ventured into the forest with her; she didn't think that she would have been able to cope if she didn't have to put up a front. If she had been alone she knew that she would have broken down long ago, she would have cried until her tears ran dry and she would have been completely lost in the forest. With Bellamy by her side, she forced herself to pretend that she was fine, to pretend that she was coping. At that moment, all she wanted was to find Charlotte, take the girl back to camp and then find a small corner where she could curl up in a ball and allow herself to cry the tears she was desperately holding back.
Mara's mind continued to torment her as she walked. It would conjure images of Charlotte's lifeless body or images of Charlotte and Atom lying dead side by side. Two deaths you are responsible for, her mind taunted her. She would give anything not to be trapped inside her own head.
"How did you get on the dropship?" Her abrupt question startled Bellamy. She needed to distract herself from her own thoughts and when she had looked at Bellamy's profile he had provided the perfect escape.
"I was arrested and put on the dropship like everyone else," Bellamy answered too quickly, his face giving nothing away other than a quick twitch of his temple that Mara would have missed entirely if she hadn't been studying him.
"I'm calling bullshit on that," Mara remarked and hopped over a fallen tree, grimacing as her side stretched painfully, "you're too old to be one of us." Bellamy glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes before he squared his shoulders and marched ahead of her. She hoped that if she kept talking that she would annoy him enough and he would answer her. "How old are you anyway?" She waited for him to respond but when he remained annoyingly silent she continued to pester him. "Twenty? Is that how old you are? You don't look young enough to be one of the hundred and you certainly act like you're older. So, what did you do? Did you sneak onto the dropship or did you cut a deal with one of the council members or something?" She let out a shaky laugh when his shoulders tensed marginally. She was getting close to the truth. "Did you-"
"I'm twenty-three." Bellamy interrupted her before she could keep questioning him. She waited for him to continue answering her questions but when he closed his mouth with an audible snap she knew that he wouldn't say anything else.
She sighed at having lost her source of distraction and wished that, for once, Bellamy Blake would be a talker. She knew that he preferred to give people looks as a way of speaking but she truly wished that he would actually talk to her. She didn't really care how old he was nor did she actually care about how he got on the dropship, she just needed to be distracted from her horrific thoughts.
The chaos in her mind was immediately quietened when she stepped into a clearing she recognised all too well. It was the clearing that had haunted her nightmares for three days. She and Bellamy were standing in the spot Atom died in. Bellamy slowed his walk, he too realising the significance of where they were, and Mara was allowed to catch up to him. They both paused over the spot in which Atom had taken his last breath. There was no sign of the torment Atom had gone through, the wind and rain having washed away all of the blood-stained leaves. As Mara, stared at the ground, it was almost as if nothing had transpired there. Mara shivered as her blood ran cold, there was no physical reminder of Atom's life, and he would only ever exist in the memories of those who knew him. She could not let the same thing happen to Charlotte.
The sun was slowly dipping behind the horizon, blending the sky from deep blue to a silky crimson. They were close to the cave and Mara desperately hoped that Charlotte was hiding in it. She didn't think they would be able to find the girl in the dark; they were having enough difficulties as it was in the daylight.
The dark entrance to the cave loomed ahead of them, the two picking up their pace until they were almost running towards it. Mara glanced cautiously around her, trying to see if Murphy was nearby. She stilled when she heard a rustling in the trees but, being unable to see anything, she thought that the wind must have been the culprit. Yet, uneasiness settled over her as she couldn't feel the wind gliding across her skin and she got the distinct impression that she was being watched. Furrowing her eyebrows, she quickly turned, dismissing her uneasiness, and rushed to join Bellamy as he reached the entrance to the cave.
"Charlotte!" Mara called in a harsh whisper as she brushed past Bellamy so that she was the first to enter the cave.
Mara blinked in the darkness, willing her eyes to adjust to the lack of light as she waited to hear a response.
"Charlotte!" Mara called again as Bellamy stumbled into the cave behind her. Mara took a careful step further into the cave, sending a silent prayer to whoever would listen that Charlotte was tucked away on the ledge she had slept on the first time they used the cave for shelter.
Mara felt her heart drop when she reached the back of the cave and her eyes adjusted to the light. The cave was completely empty and void of any sign of life. The emptiness of it echoed in Mara's heart, forcing hopelessness to sweep into her mind. Mara spun around in a full circle hoping to find Charlotte hidden in a small corner of the cave, playing some awful joke by waiting for the perfect moment to pop out of the darkness and scare Mara.
The darkness remained empty and Charlotte remained absent, there was no awful joke waiting for Mara.
Mara's shoulders slumped and her head hung lowly, the weight of Charlotte's prolonged absence hung heavily over her. She couldn't think of where else to look for the girl. She had never spoken to Clarke and had only ever shouted at Finn, she had no idea where they would take Charlotte.
"Dammit!" Bellamy cursed behind her and Mara spun around to face him just as the side of his fist collided with the cave wall. He grunted in pain as the jagged rock dug into his hand and when he pulled it away from the wall, his hand was slightly cut. "Dammit," he muttered again before storming out of the cave, expecting Mara to follow him.
She watched his retreating back sadly. She didn't want to believe that she had led them astray but, as she raised a slightly shaking hand to skim along the rock wall, she couldn't lie to herself. As she felt the coldness of the cave wall she knew that no one had been in it. Charlotte had not been in the cave that day and Mara had potentially led her and Bellamy in the wrong direction. She tiredly sighed as she began to exit the cave. She cast one final glance around the cave, a small part of her hoping that Charlotte was still hiding in it. She turned her head from the cave when no one appeared and grimaced when she saw the tension in Bellamy's body. His shoulders were squared, his legs locked together and his back was ramrod straight.
"Where the fuck do we go now?" Bellamy growled, keeping his eyes forward and avoiding looking at Mara.
"I…I don't know," Mara muttered, stopping a pace behind him. He tensed even more at hearing her voice before he whirled round to face her. His expression was incredibly hard and there was an angry fire burning in his eyes. His eyes almost appeared black in the dark night. Mara took a shaking breath and tried to hold eye contact with him.
"You don't know," Bellamy huffed in agitation and ran an aggressive hand through his curly hair.
"I…" Mara couldn't think of anything to say to him to placate him. They were both frustrated, she didn't want him to take that out on her but a small part of her believed that she deserved it.
"Charlotte!" Mara was saved from having to calm Bellamy when Murphy's foul voice cut through the night. "Come out, come out wherever you are!"
Mara's head snapped to the direction Murphy's shout had come from. Relief pierced her quaking body. If Murphy hadn't found Charlotte yet then they still had time to save her. Murphy's shout meant Mara had time to ensure that Charlotte survived.
"Bellamy," Mara pulled his attention towards her. She began walking past him, grabbing his arm and pulling him with her as she did. "Come one, we need to find her."
Bellamy offered no argument and allowed her to continue pulling him away from the cave.
She eventually dropped her hand from his arm after they had been walking in the darkness for a while. They would both occasionally stumble over fallen branches and protruding roots given that they had no light to illuminate their path.
Neither of them spoke as they travelled through the forest but they kept close to Murphy and his followers, their shouts rupturing the silent night. Mara had to grit her teeth to prevent herself from screaming back at Murphy. He was shouting false promises into the night, promises that he wouldn't harm Charlotte and that he just wanted to talk to her. Mara had never wanted to punch someone so much in her whole life as much as she wanted to punch Murphy.
Bellamy thrust his arm out to stop Mara from walking ahead of him. She stilled just before she collided with his arm and looked at him quizzically. She was about to ask why he had stopped them from walking further when she noticed his eyes darting around the forest. She tried to see what he was looking at but all she could see was the oppressive trees cloaked in darkness. Bellamy suddenly rushed forward, leaving a startled Mara in his wake as he quickly darted through the trees. Mara had to run to keep up with him when she finally saw what Bellamy had managed to see in the darkness.
Charlotte was cutting a delicate path through the trees, glancing frantically around herself. She had yet to spot Bellamy running towards her. Mara felt her heart leap with happiness when she saw Charlotte. The little girl appeared unharmed and Murphy was nowhere in sight. Mara allowed herself to release the breath she hadn't realised she had been holding in since she had left the camp; seeing Charlotte filled Mara with such intense relief that she stumbled over her feet in her haste to reach the little girl. Mara had to restrain herself from shouting out to Charlotte to gain her attention knowing that just because she couldn't see Murphy it didn't mean that he wasn't close by.
Bellamy had the same thought as Mara and kept silent as he rushed towards the girl that reminded him of his little sister. Charlotte had the same fire in her that Octavia had had at the same age and they both had been plagued by nightmares. When Charlotte had woken up screaming in the cave the night of the acid fog, Bellamy had been almost blown away by how similar Charlotte was to Octavia when she was thirteen.
Bellamy broke through the treeline and onto the path that Charlotte was walking on, his body colliding with the little girl. Charlotte screamed as his body slammed into hers, believing that someone was attacking her. Mara's eyes widened as she began to sprint towards the two, ignoring the throbbing in her muscles.
When Mara reached them, Bellamy had clamped his hand over Charlotte's mouth to stop her from screaming out and was trying to calm the girl down. Charlotte's eyes were frantic as it took her a moment to realise that Bellamy meant her no harm and she visibly relaxed when Mara broke through the trees and rushed to stand by Bellamy's side.
"Thank god," Mara sighed and pulled Charlotte from Bellamy and into her arms.
She tucked Charlotte's head under her chin, lacing one hand behind the girl's head and the other pulling the girl closer. Holding Charlotte in her arms allowed Mara to finally feel relieved. She had found Charlotte safe and unharmed, and she was going to be able to maintain her promise of keeping the girl safe.
"Are you okay?" Mara pulled Charlotte away from her slightly and gripped her shoulders in her hands. She crouched down slightly so that she could scan Charlotte's face and felt herself tensing again when she saw the uneasiness in Charlotte's eyes. "What's wrong?" Mara asked as she brushed some of Charlotte's her away from her face.
"Nothing," Charlotte answered too quickly, "I'm fine."
Mara studied the girl before her carefully. Charlotte's entire body was tense, she looked as if she was trembling, and she looked everywhere but directly at Mara and Bellamy. Mara's eyebrows rose in surprise when she spotted Charlotte fidgeting with her hands; Mara had only ever seen her do that after one of her nightmares. Charlotte was decidedly not fine.
"Charlotte!" Both Charlotte and Mara jumped when Murphy's voice shouted through the dark forest far too close for comfort.
"We have to get out of here," Bellamy finally spoke, his voice rough with tension as he grabbed Charlotte's hand and began pulling her back into the cover of the trees. Mara followed behind them, frowning at Charlotte's back when the girl seemed to be struggling to get out of Bellamy's grip.
"Charlotte what are you doing?" Mara hissed as she placed her hand comfortingly on Charlotte's back and recoiled in shock when Charlotte pushed her away.
"Charlotte!" Murphy screamed again and Charlotte squared her shoulders before ripping free from Bellamy's grip.
The girl tried to run passed Mara towards Murphy's voice but Mara shot her hand out to stop the girl. Mara gripped Charlotte's arms and stared at her with wide eyes when the girl began screaming. Bellamy was quick to clamp his hand over Charlotte's mouth again before the girl could make too much noise and alert Murphy to their location.
"What the hell is going on?" Mara demanded, searching Charlotte's eyes for some explanation to her strange behaviour. Charlotte's eyes steeled as she looked at Mara and Mara felt herself growing even more confused, it was almost as if Charlotte wanted to be caught.
"You can't hide forever, Charlotte!" Murphy's continued shouts were not helping Mara get through to Charlotte. Each time the infuriating boy spoke, Charlotte seemed to tense further.
"If Bellamy removes his hand, do you promise not to shout and to actually tell me what's going on with you?" Mara asked, her eyes pleading with Charlotte to comply. They were quickly running out of time, the shouts from Murphy and his followers were growing louder and closer. There were a few intense seconds as Mara and Bellamy waited for Charlotte's response but eventually the girl nodded her head slowly and Bellamy quickly pulled his hand away from her mouth.
"I don't want Murphy to hurt you. I need to go to him," Charlotte mumbled quietly, her eyes filling with tears as she cast her gaze to the ground.
"Hey," Mara whispered gently, cupping Charlotte's face and forcing her to lift her head. "Murphy's not going to hurt me, or Bellamy, and I'm not going to let him hurt you," Mara told her sternly but she managed to keep her voice soft. "I promised you I would keep you safe and I stick to my promises. Nothing is going to happen to you."
"Charlotte! Come on out!" Murphy interrupted the moment between Charlotte and Mara, his voice taunting in the tense atmosphere. Mara had seen Charlotte's face begin to soften but the minute she heard Murphy's voice she tensed again but this time she didn't scream.
"We need to go now," Bellamy ordered, his eyes locked on where Murphy was shouting from. Mara could see a faint glow through the trees, emitting from the torches grasped in Murphy and his followers' hands.
Bellamy began pulling Charlotte along, Mara once again following behind. Charlotte jogged beside them peacefully for a while until Murphy's voice penetrated the air again. The girl began to struggle against Bellamy again and Mara felt herself begin to crumble. She couldn't understand why Charlotte was so desperate to turn herself in. It was Mara's job to keep Charlotte safe, not the other way around but the young girl seemed insistent on keeping Mara safe.
"Please, Charlotte," Mara pleaded with her.
"Let me go!" Charlotte screamed at Bellamy, entirely ignoring Mara. She fought with renewed gusto against Bellamy when Murphy shouted again. She managed to twist out of Bellamy's grip and began sprinting towards Murphy. Mara ran after her and managed to loop her arm around Charlotte's waist before she could get too far. Charlotte thrashed against Mara's hold, desperately trying to free herself.
"Stop it!" Mara commanded, tightening her grip on the writhing girl.
"Charlotte, we are trying to help you." Bellamy tried to calm Charlotte down as he helped Mara pull her further away from Murphy.
"No!" Charlotte shouted, trying everything she could to break free from Mara and Bellamy. "Murphy! I'm over here! Murphy-"
Mara clamped her hand over Charlotte's mouth, preventing the girl from screaming further. She prayed that Murphy hadn't heard her shouts but she knew that there was no way Murphy hadn't heard them. She stared at Charlotte with wide, frantic eyes. She was suspended in a state of complete bewilderment as her heart pounded in her chest and she began to shake ever so slightly. She couldn't grasp what Charlotte was hoping to achieve by handing herself over to Murphy. She would be given a horrible, painful death and Murphy would feel no remorse, he would rejoice as he watched the life being snatched from her. Mara wanted to shake Charlotte in frustration. Mara had spent her entire time on Earth making sure that Charlotte was safe, that she was looked after. She had spent every night soothing her from her nightmares and holding her while the girl cried on her shoulder. She had told Charlotte the stories her father used to tell her to help her fall back asleep after she had had a nightmare. Mara had adopted her into her little family and had grown to deeply care for the girl and couldn't bear to see anything happen to her.
"What are you doing? Do you want to get yourself killed?" Bellamy gruffly asked the question that Mara had been too horrified to think.
"Just stop, okay!" Charlotte ripped Mara's hand from her mouth and rounded on Bellamy. The tip of Charlotte's head barely reached the middle of Bellamy's chest but the little girl squared her shoulders and tried to stand up to him. All she managed to achieve was to remind Mara of just how young she really was.
"Charlotte…"
"No! Just stop trying to protect me! I'm not your sister," Charlotte spun around so that she could face Mara and look directly into her eyes, "and you are not my mom." Mara felt herself freeze under Charlotte's eyes so much so that she was too slow to react when Charlotte ran away from them again. "I'm over here!" Charlotte screamed again before Bellamy caught up with her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her back towards where Mara was still frozen on the spot. "Let go of me," Charlotte demanded but when Bellamy refused to release her, her shoulders slumped and her face softened immeasurably. "Just go, I'm the one they want."
"Listen to me, Charlotte," Bellamy crouched in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "I won't leave you. We won't leave you." He gestured to Mara who shook herself from her stupor to nod her head in agreement and smile sadly at Charlotte.
"Please," Charlotte begged, looking between Mara and Bellamy but when neither refused to change their minds she attempted to run to Murphy again. Bellamy huffed in anger as he ran after Charlotte. He scooped the little girl into his arms with ease and flung her over his shoulder. "Put me down!" Bellamy tightened his grip on the girl and jerked his head at Mara to let her know where he was going.
Bellamy began to weave through the trees, much slower than he had before now that he had to carry Charlotte. The little girl continued to try and escape but Bellamy's hold on her was too tight. Mara tried to beg the girl to be quiet but when Charlotte had continued to scream for Murphy, Mara had to cover Charlotte's mouth with her hand again. Charlotte's screams were muffled but still audible and Murphy's shouts only seemed to grow closer with every step they took.
Mara could feel panic boiling inside her head, her chest constricted tightly over her lungs and her side burned with pain. She was crumbling apart as she ran and was finding it more and more difficult to hold herself together. She felt a tear she hadn't known was building slip from the corner of her eye and she was glad that she had the dark night to hide it. She didn't want Charlotte to see her upset.
The way that Bellamy could carry Charlotte with ease reminded Mara of just how little Charlotte was. The girl was barely thirteen years old but even then she was small for her age and even her face made her seem like she was younger than she actually was. It broke Mara's delicate heart to see Charlotte so willing to sacrifice her own life to keep Mara and Bellamy safe.
The trio burst through the trees, stumbling to a stop in a small clearing. Mara felt her heart sink further into her stomach when she realised where they had run to. The clearing dropped off into a cliff abruptly a few metres in front of them. Before them was nothing but the vast expanse of the night with the mountains looming ominously in the background, shrouded by low hanging clouds. They were trapped with no way forward and no way back.
"Fuck," Bellamy grunted as he lowered Charlotte from his shoulder. Mara steadied the girl as she stumbled to her feet but Mara's hands were shaking so much that she was surprised she didn't knock the girl over.
"What are we –" Mara was cut off before she could speak by Murphy and his goons running into the clearing.
Mara immediately stepped in front of Charlotte, blocking the girl from view. Murphy grinned wickedly at her, his eyes flashing with ill intent and his face dripping with menace. There were only a few boys with him but even though their numbers were small, there was no chance of Mara and Bellamy being able to fight them off if they chose to attack. Mara reached behind her back to hold Charlotte behind her when Murphy took a confident step forward. Bellamy tensed beside the two girls, angling his body to stand protectively over them.
"Bellamy, Mara" Murphy greeted them like they were old friends he hadn't seen in years. His tone was jarring to Mara who failed to hide her wince under Murphy's stare. "You can't fight all of us," he spread his arms wide, gesturing to the boys behind him. They stared at Mara and Bellamy, sheer wickedness in their eyes. The boy whose nose Mara had broken cracked his knuckles, preparing himself for a fight. "Why don't you hand over the girl, sweetheart?" Murphy asked Mara in a condescendingly sweet manner but she refused to answer him. Nevertheless, she tightened her grip on Charlotte which only made Murphy laugh lightly, enjoying watching Mara struggle.
"No." Bellamy's voice filled with authority as he turned into a leader once more. He was trying to convince Murphy's followers to abandon Murphy but no matter how hard he stared them down, it appeared that their loyalties were unwavering. "I might not be able to fight all of you, but I can guarantee you I'll take a few of you with me." He shifted into a defensive posture, reaching his arm out slightly to push Mara and Charlotte slightly further back. Mara pulled Charlotte to her side, tucking Charlotte's head into her chest so that she wouldn't have to see what happened next.
"Bellamy, stop!" Luckily, Mara didn't have to shield Charlotte from a bloody fight as Clarke and Finn ran into the clearing. Mara had no idea where they came from, but Clarke seemed to always pop up when a fight was about to break out. Clarke marched to the space between Murphy and Bellamy, holding her hands out to try and diffuse the situation. "This has gone too far," Clarke glanced between the two boys. "Just calm down and we'll talk about this." She tried to placate Murphy.
Mara gripped Charlotte tighter to her, watching the situation unfold with rapt attention. She wishfully hoped that Murphy would listen to Clarke but the logical part of her knew that Murphy wouldn't back down so easily. He hadn't backed down when they were still in the camp and from the look in his eyes, Mara could tell that there was no way he was going to give up now.
Murphy stared at Clarke for what felt like a lifetime and Mara could practically hear her heart beating in her ears. Her palms were growing clammy from her nerves and she wanted nothing more than for Murphy to have a sudden change of character and agree to talk things over. Mara knew that reasoning with him was hopeless the minute his piercing eyes flashed to Charlotte.
"I'm sick of listening to you talk," Murphy growled and before any of them could react, he had removed his knife from his belt and pulled Clarke towards him. He pressed the edge of his knife to her throat and pulled her close to him so that her back was flush with his chest. Shock flashed across her face before she tried to school her expression but fear was still evident in her eyes.
Mara moved to stand in front of Charlotte again, the need to protect the girl overpowering her need to protect her own life. The situation had escalated far beyond anyone's control but Mara was determined that if anyone made it out of the clearing that it would be Charlotte.
Charlotte was shaking behind Mara, her small hands clutching the back of Mara's jacket.
"Let her go!" Finn ordered.
Murphy whirled around the face him, dragging Clarke with him. The girl involuntarily gasped in pain as Murphy's knife nicked her skin, drawing a small line of blood.
"Come any closer and I will slit her throat," Murphy warned as he gripped his knife tighter and drawing more of Clarke's dark blood.
"No!" Charlotte screamed and stepped out from behind Mara. "Please don't hurt her," Charlotte begged as Mara grabbed her to stop her from walking any further forward. Bellamy and Mara moved in sync as they stepped forward to stand in front of Charlotte again.
"Don't hurt her?" Murphy laughed, pressing the side of his face to Clarke's and pouting mockingly at Charlotte. "Okay, I'll tell you what. You come with me now and I'll let Clarke go. How does that sound?"
"No!" Mara finally spoke, fear gripping her heart. She couldn't let him hurt Charlotte. "That's not happening," she growled at Murphy, her voice matching the same menacing tone he always spoke with. She didn't know where she had pulled that voice from but it was somewhere primal and instinctive. She felt movement behind her and whipped her head round in time to see Charlotte take a step towards Murphy. Mara whirled around and grabbed hold of Charlotte, preventing her from moving any closer to Murphy.
"Mara!" Charlotte screamed as she tried to break free but Mara held on tighter. "I have to!"
"Don't do it, Charlotte." Clarke managed to speak calmly to Charlotte who only continued to scream.
Mara shook Charlotte's shoulders hard, the shock of Mara fighting back had the desired effect as Charlotte stilled her movements and stared up at her with wide eyes. Mara stared down at her, panting heavily, her muscles filled with tension and her stomach rolling in waves. The pain that had gripped her when Charlotte tried to give herself up had scared Mara more than anything. The mere thought of Charlotte being killed was enough to make her want to curl up in a dark hole and cry until she wasted away to nothing.
"Charlotte," Mara crouched lowly in front of the shaking girl and whispered so that only she could hear what was being said. "Charlotte…don't give up, okay?" Mara pleaded, tears stinging her eyes. "We'll find a way out of this. There is another way, a way in which no one has to die." Mara cupped Charlotte's cheek with her quivering hand as a silent tear trailed down her face. "Nothing is going to happen to you, okay? You are going to be fine and Clarke is going to be fine. I promise you I'll keep you safe." Her voice was trembling as she spoke, betraying her own uncertainty with her words. She vowed to herself that Murphy would not lay a finger on Charlotte and she knew that she would risk her own life if it meant that Charlotte could live. "I may not be your mom, but you are my family okay? Family has to stick together, you got that?"
"What the fuck are you saying?" Murphy screeched at Mara before Charlotte could answer her but tears were flowing freely from her eyes. Mara swivelled on her heels to glare at Murphy. She remained in her crouch and didn't care to try and hide the tears that were flooding down her cheeks or that her bottom lip was trembling. She knew that she looked weak but she couldn't bring herself to care.
"Murphy, this is not happening!" Bellamy snarled, his face contorted in anger. Murphy growled a low guttural sound as pressed the knife deeper into Clarke's neck. Finn inched closer to Murphy and Clarke, desperation clear in his eyes as he watched a line of blood trail down Clarke's neck to stain the top of her shirt.
"I can't let any of you get hurt anymore," Charlotte's broken voice broke through the tension, "not because of me." Mara slowly turned around, dread flooding her veins at the sound of Charlotte's voice. The little girl had taken a step back from Mara and Bellamy, the latter of whom had kept his eyes trained on Murphy's knife but his head was tilted to the side as he listened to Charlotte. "I can't let him hurt any of you, not after what I did."
"What are you doing?" Mara whispered, her voice shattered with anguish. Her eyebrows rose and she pursed her lips to stop herself from releasing the sob that desperately wanted to escape. Charlotte locked eyes with Mara, a strange desolate determination in the girl's crystal eyes.
"I'm sorry," she whispered so lowly that only Mara could hear her.
Mara stared at her in confusion before everything clicked in place as Charlotte took another steady step towards the cliff edge.
"Charlotte!" She screamed as the girl heaved a determined sigh and stepped off of the cliff.
Mara lunged forward, uncaring about her own safety and didn't even hear the scream that ripped from her throat. She shot her hand out and could feel the tips of Charlotte's fingers slip passed hers as the girl plunged to her death.
Mara stopped breathing. She stopped hearing. She stopped functioning.
She stared in shocked disbelief at the blank space in front of her. She could feel Charlotte's fingers slip passed hers but she couldn't process what had happened. She couldn't bring herself to believe that she had watched Charlotte commit suicide.
It's not…it's not possible! No, no, no, no, no, no…no! She didn't jump. She didn't jump. She didn't jump. Mara's head was a mess as she stared down the cliff edge, unable to see to the bottom. She might have survived, Mara desperately needed to believe that it was possible for Charlotte to have survived the fall but as she looked at how high up they were, she knew that there was no hope.
She vaguely registered that Clarke and Bellamy were on the ground next to her. She vaguely registered that Clarke rose shakily to her feet. She vaguely registered that Bellamy had pulled her away from the edge of the cliff, she hadn't even realised that the top half of her body was hanging off of the edge. She had been so desperate to save Charlotte that she had nearly died herself but she didn't care. She vaguely registered Bellamy's hand on her back and she vaguely registered the sound of Clarke crying.
She couldn't focus on anything other than the vacant abyss at the bottom of the cliff, everything else sounded and looked like it was at the end of a very long tunnel.
She did realise that she had stopped crying and shaking. Her eyebrows were no longer scrunched together in pain and her lips were no longer drawn in a thin line. Instead, her face had been left entirely vacant and void of any expression. She didn't feel anything other than complete and total numbness. She couldn't feel the pain that had exploded in her side or the twinge in her spine when she had lunged forward. She just simply couldn't feel anything, as if her body had shut itself off to protect her from the pain.
Bellamy's hand fisted in her jacket when his eyes swept to Mara's face and saw the emptiness in her eyes.
Mara didn't even hear when Murphy spoke Bellamy's name and she didn't see Bellamy lunging at Murphy. She didn't hear the sound of Bellamy's fist colliding with Murphy's face over and over, nor did she hear the sound of Murphy's splitting flesh or the cracking of his nose as it broke. She didn't hear Bellamy's guttural grunts as he beat Murphy to within an inch of his life nor did she register that Murphy made no move to defend himself against the attack. Mara entirely missed Clarke shouting at Bellamy to stop and Finn's hesitation before he pulled Bellamy off of a severely wounded Murphy. Murphy's panting and pained moans fell on deaf ears as Mara stayed lying on the cold ground.
She couldn't stop staring at the bottom of the cliff and she didn't know how long she lay there for until some urged her to her feet. The person tapped her shoulder and pulled at her arm before she finally rose from the ground but even then she couldn't properly register the world around her. She stumbled on her feet and nearly fell back to the ground but the person held her steady. The small part of her brain that was still functioning registered that it was Finn that was holding her but she couldn't bring herself to care.
Bellamy and Clarke fought with each other about how to handle Murphy but Mara couldn't take her eyes off of the cliff. Any minute now. Any minute now she'll reappear, Mara repeated over and over to herself but Charlotte never returned.
Mara didn't register the decisions that were made in the clearing: Clarke and Bellamy deciding to lead the delinquents together, Murphy's banishment from camp and the ultimatum given to his followers (banishment with Murphy or return to camp and follow Bellamy's orders). She even failed to register when Bellamy dragged Murphy to the edge of the cliff right beside her and threatened to throw him over the edge if he ever tried to return to camp. She didn't notice as Bellamy shoved Murphy away from him, or the way his eyes flashed to her. She didn't see the way he opened his mouth to speak to her before he snapped it closed and stormed away from the group.
Finn began leading her away from the edge of the cliff after everyone else. He stopped to throw a knife at the ground by Murphy's feet, the only way that Murphy was going to be able to defend himself. Mara kept her eyes trained on the cliff, waiting for a miracle to happen. She only turned her head to face forward when the trees obscured her sight.
She would never be able to remember the walk back to camp, or how long it took, or that it had started raining at some point. She would never be able to remember that Finn's hand on her back had been replaced by Bellamy's. She would never be able to remember what he whispered in her ear to try and coax her out of her trance. She would never remember the worried glances that Clarke would shoot in her direction or the way that Finn kept checking up on her.
What she did remember would stay with her for as long as she lived. She would always remember the feeling of Charlotte's fingers slipping through hers and the look of resigned sadness in her eyes as she fell to her death. She would always remember the sound Charlotte's boots made as she stepped closer to the edge and the way she didn't try to hold back her tears as she made the decision to end her own life. Mara would never be able to forget the breaking in Charlotte's voice as she whispered a sorry that was only for Mara to hear.
Mara had shut down entirely, her brain unable to cope with the sudden loss.
The delinquents had stared at the empty girl as the group entered the camp and all talking ceased as Mara kept walking after everyone else had stopped. By looking at Mara's face, they all knew that Charlotte had died. They were scared of the look on Mara's face but Nathan was the only one to make a move to say anything to her. He had reached out to her but when Bellamy called his name and shook his head at him, he had retreated and watched as Mara continued to walk through camp alone.
Mara didn't stop walking until she reached the edge of the camp, her feet taking her where her subconscious wanted. She only stopped walking when she reached the four graves outside of the camp. Her body folding so that she could sit down next to the newest grave and it was only then that any sort of expression crossed her face. Her eyebrows knitted together and her lips were pulled downward. She clasped her hands together in her lap and stared at them, memorising every single detail. She moved her stare to the cracked ground beneath her and sat in stony silence. Her toes curled in her boots, squeezing against the sides of the material until it was almost painful but she still couldn't properly feel.
She stayed like that, staring at the ground for a long time. Until Bellamy and Clarke informed the delinquents of the events that had transpired that night and until everyone had gone to bed. It was only then that she finally shifted. Her head tilted back as she looked at the stars that hung over her head and painted the black sky. The rain had stopped and the clouds had cleared, leaving the stars to twinkle undisturbed. She frowned at the stars, a faint memory of her mom itching at the back of her skull. She found herself suddenly needing to speak so she began to talk to the only person she needed at that moment.
"Hey, mom," her voice was cracked from its lack of use and her throat ached to speak, forcing her to finally feel. "I…I remember you telling me that when we die our soul turns into a star so that we can watch over everyone we love. I don't know if you were right, but…I really, really, hope you were. I don't even know if you can hear me, but if you can, could you do me a favour? Please?" She took a shaky breath, the day finally beginning to catch up with her. "There's going to be…there's going to be a new star with you up there. She's only little so you should be able to find her easily. Could you look after her for me please?" She felt hot tears slip from her eyes and trail down her cheeks but she made no move to brush them away. She felt like she didn't deserve to cry, that it was her fault that Charlotte had killed herself. "It's my fault! It's my entire fault! I should have done something to help her; I should have been there for her. I should have tried harder and maybe she wouldn't have killed Wells. Maybe she would have talked to me, told me what was going on and I could have done… I don't know. I could have done something! Instead, I just let her slip through my fingers and watched her die. I tried, mom. I really tried to look after her but I guess I didn't do a good enough job. I let her down…I couldn't keep her safe when she needed me most and now…now she's going to be a little star with you. Could you please do what I couldn't and take care of her? Please?" Her breath caught as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. He hand shot up to the star necklace that hung around her neck. She clutched it tightly in her hand until the metal points dug into her palm. "I love you."
She sat in silence, her head bowed to the ground, the weight of Charlotte's death pressing down on her shoulders. She knew that Charlotte was dead but she still couldn't process it properly like her brain refused to acknowledge it to try and protect her. She didn't want to be protected; she wanted to properly feel the pain that Charlotte's death would cause. She wanted to feel the ache in her limbs and the pain in her side. She wanted to be able to feel the anguish of her tears and to feel the tightening of her heart. She just wanted to be able to feel.
She was left to sit in her numbness for what felt like hours until a familiar presence sat beside her on the ground.
She saw Bellamy out of the corner of her eye but he made no move to speak to her. They sat in overbearing silence as Mara plucked up the courage to speak to him.
"She's dead isn't she?"
"Yes."
Mara finally allowed herself to feel. The sob she had been holding back since she left the cliff ripped from her throat with such ferocity that it came out as more of a scream. Her tears streamed faster down her face and she hunched over. She rocked herself back and forth and her body shook with her repressed emotions. Her chest constricted and her lungs burned. Her side ached and her back protested at her movements.
She welcomed every ounce of pain her body had to throw at her. She rejoiced in her agony and celebrated the sorrow that threatened to crush her entirely. She allowed herself to conjure the images of Charlotte's falling body and the feeling of the tips of her fingers. She forced herself to acknowledge the shredding of her tender heart and the way her veins threatened to burst from her skin.
She was overcome with the torrent of emotions that she thought she would never recover from. As Bellamy let her weep beside him, she found that she didn't want to recover. She wanted to mourn for Charlotte, for the loss of life, for the loss of her family.