Chapter 4

"Oh, Alec," Maryse looked up from the scroll she had been going over. His mother, a tall, dark haired woman with sharp eyes that could cut right through you, sat in a large stuffed chair by the crystal panes. "Just the man I wanted to talk to." Alec, who'd only come to the library to get some documents, rose an eyebrow at her, stepping closer.

"Is that so?" Alec took a seat opposite his mother as she silently requested him to. The library was reasonably large, three of the walls lined with tall shelves filled with slates and scrolls tied neatly. By the crystal panes there was a little arrangement of plush chairs and a table, and a writing desk was pushed into one corner. Low-hanging light-globes lit the room with a golden light. It was a calm room.

"Yes. You see, I have here a letter from Lady Marklund. Apparently, you have made quite the impression on the lady Clary." Alec's eyebrows rose at that, and he blinked at his mother owlishly.

"I have?" he said, confusion clear in his voice though his mother ignored that part.

"You have. I suppose she is not unsuitable," Maryse mussed, running her eyes over the letter once more.

"She's not." Alec wasn't sure if he meant it as a question or a statement of agreement.

"She is a pretty girl. And the house of Marklund is old and strong." Maryse looked up at him, a questioning look on her face.

"I… Yes?" he offered, uncertainly.

"And of cause there's this new alliance to take into a consideration. Uniting our houses would only serve to strengthen it."

"Oh. Uniting the houses. Right." Alec felt as if he was half a step behind the conversation, but it was slowly dawning on him what it was actually about.

"Lady Marklund has one concern, though, but I'm sure it's nothing." There was a strict look in Maryse eyes as she considered Alec. One he knew from his childhood. The one that said he'd better make the right choice in his next action. "Apparently you danced with one other person at the ball in Farseya. A rider. The lady seems to think that that has some significance?"

"Oh," Alec fought to keep a straight face.

"But I'm sure she's mistaken. You're the eldest son of the house of Lightwood, and heir to Ashlon. A rider could never be more than a passing amusement, to be sure." Alec's eyes fell to his hands folded together in his lap. "Is that not so, my son?" Maryse's voice was insistent, pressing for agreement. He looked back up, his back straight as he looked into his mother in the eyes.

"Of course, mother. The rider is of no importance." he made sure there was no doubt in his voice or his eyes, holding his mothers gaze steadily.

"Good. I will reply to Lady Marklund this afternoon, asking if she and her daughter would like to visit Ashlon before the roads get to unsafe to travel. Perhaps you would like to include a few lines to Lady Clary?" It wasn't as much a question as a command. Still, Alec dutifully nodded his head.

"I will write them straight away." He turned to the little round table between them on which there was some paper and a pen. He quickly scribbled a few lines, hoping they contained just the right amount of devotion and regard. When he was done, he pushed the paper to his mother, got to his feet, calmly gathered the documents he'd come in search of, and left the library. It wasn't until the door had closed behind him that he allowed his shoulders to sag, his eyes to close tightly and his breath to leave in a long exhale. His heart was beating hard and fast in his chest. It had been ever since his mother had brought up Magnus. He'd known things with the rider couldn't lead anywhere, that he would have to keep his feelings for him at a distance. His parents had always been clear on his duties, all of his duties, to his people, and Magnus could not fit into that. Still, he'd hoped. But there was no use. Alec let out one more slow breath, and then he blinked his eyes open. He had duties to perform.

(***)

"So it isn't the hights that get to you." Alec started, turning to see Magnus standing behind him. With a soft wave of his hand, Magnus send Chairman of, and the white scales glittered as she drifted from the Northern tower.

I thought it might help me gain some perspective," Alec turned to look out over the vast orange plains streaked with teal. He could feel Magnus come over to stand next to him, resting his hands on the guard wall running along the expanse of the tear-shaped top of the tower. Since the journey to Farseya a week ago, they had gotten a habit of seeking each other out when duties allowed. Sometimes they would talk, going over strategies for the upcoming fighting, or simply sharing thoughts and memories. Other times they simply shared a silence. It was comfortable. Calming. Alec felt like it became easier to think when Magnus was there to offer his insights. "My mother wants me to marry." Alec kept his gaze wandering over the fields below.

"Ah." The tone of Magnus' voice was hard for Alec to read.

"Apparently I caught the attention of the Lady Clary when we were at Farseya. Our mothers seem to ascribe to your subtle negotiations. A union of our houses would strengthen our alliance, apparently." Alec glanced over at Magnus, who was staring out towards the glistening shimmer of the river, his face mostly blank. "The alliance does need to be strong." Magnus kept his voice even and his eyes steady when he turned to look at Alec.

"It does," Alec agreed, slowly.

"So why this search for perspective." Magnus tilted his head to the side. They were standing close. The air between them was still.

"The war is coming," Alec said, the gold-green swirl of Magnus' eyes slowing his thoughts. "Is now the time for weddings?"

"Well," Alec's breath caught when he felt Magnus' hand slide slowly, deliberately to cover his own with his warm touch. "You said yourself that it would strengthen the alliance. The war is coming. The alliance needs to be strong before it gets here. So it would seem that this is the perfect time for a wedding. Though. I think it is no secret that I would not welcome it as heartily as it perhaps deserves." Magnus had inched closer, the space between them shrinking to almost nothing. His eyes were heavy as he held Alec's gaze, filled with honesty. It would be simple, really, to lean forward and press his lips against Magnus'. Yet he didn't. Instead he turned, sinking down to sit with his back against the wall.

"I'm not sure I can avoid it." he said, looking up at Magnus, hating the defeated sadness that had crawled into his eyes.

"I know." He said, sitting down next to Alec. "But that doesn't mean I can't hate it." He sighed deeply, letting his body tilt sideways to lean against Alec.

"Yeah. Me too." Alec turned his head to press his lips into Magnus' hair, closing his eyes, allowing himself to have this, just for a moment. "me, too." he repeated, freeing an arm to slip it around Magnus, pulling him closer. He let his head rest against Magnus' on his shoulder, as he watched the sun inch closer to the edges of the orange fields of his home.