On The Ark, Mara had had a limited experience dealing with death and grief. Her grandparents had died before she had been old enough to remember them so she had not directly felt their absence in her life. She had a distinct memory of one of her neighbours being dragged, screaming, from his home to be floated. At the time, she had only been six years old and had known the word 'floating' but had not truly understood its meaning. It would forever be one of her earliest memories. Her mother's death had been the only loss that had truly affected her while on The Ark. She knew that she had been a sheltered child, one of the lucky ones. Many of the children on Factory Station had lost at least one of their parents or had friends whose parents had been floated. Death was a constant threat to The Arkers.
Of course, this also provided a breeding ground for social division. The people living on Alpha Station were often regarded with disdain by some of the other Stations; they were the privileged class, the ones who did not have to struggle to survive and it was rumoured that members of Alpha Station could commit minor crimes and not be floated. Discontent was strife within Factory Station but when a small group tried to overthrow Chancellor Brady in 2125 they were floated, though a few managed to escape undetected. No one on Factory Station was willing to attempt another revolution. Small crimes still occurred (stealing rations, petty theft, prostitution), but nothing on the scale that Brady's rule had seen.
When Thelonious Jaha was appointed Chancellor of The Ark, succeeding Chancellor Diana Sydney, there was an air of excitement in Factory Station. Jaha was a beacon of hope, a chance for real change, for change that Diana Sydney had failed to deliver on (though she maintained many followers). However, the longer it took for Jaha to make any changes, the more disheartened people began to feel. Before long, people lost faith in Jaha and began to begrudgingly follow his leadership. The people were unhappy with him as Chancellor but many believed that the situation could have been much worse. The Council, spearheaded by Marcus Kane, began a widespread crackdown on crime and more people than ever were being floated.
Yet, life continued. Some could see that Chancellor Jaha was trying to make changes but the majority resented him for not convincing the Council to amend the laws Brady had instated, particularly the one child policy. Veronica Allen, of Mecha Station, gave birth to a second son in 2135 and managed to hide him for ten years before he was discovered. The entire Allen family, including the second son, were floated in Jaha's first year as Chancellor. It seemed that the weight of floating a ten-year-old illegal child weighed too heavily on Chancellor Jaha's shoulders. This resulted in the lives of both Octavia and Bellamy Blake being spared when Octavia, born as a second child, was discovered after successfully hiding for fifteen years. Their mother, Aurora Blake, was not shown the same mercy.
Mara could only clearly recall living under Chancellor Jaha's leadership and, until her mother had been floated, had not been affected by The Ark's politics. She had often heard hushed conversations between her parents when they thought she was asleep but she had never been able to understand what they were saying.
When Mara and ninety-nine other delinquents were sent to Earth, she had had a limited experience dealing with death. In the nine days that the hundred had occupied Earth, Mara had seen two deaths and had nearly witnessed a third. She had spent the first eighteen years of her life avoiding death so, needless to say, Atom and Charlotte's deaths and Murphy's near execution were difficult for her to wrap her head around.
When Mara's tears had finally subsided she leapt to her feet, all of the energy and frustration she had been suppressing had boiled to the surface. She paced back and forth beside the graves and was acutely aware that Bellamy's wary eyes were glued to her. She hugged herself tightly to try and hold her crumbling body together and hated that she had allowed herself to feel and relive Charlotte's death. She couldn't stop her mind from manufacturing images of Charlotte's body lying abandoned at the base of the cliff. She despised the guilt that polluted her blood and the unbearable ache that dominated in her heart. She wanted nothing more than to forget now that she had allowed herself to remember.
"Mara…" Bellamy's voice stopped her pacing as he rose steadily to his feet.
She examined the curl of his hair and the rich earth brown of his eyes. She eyed the strength in his shoulders and the confidence he held himself with. Her eyes lingered on the prominent dimple on his chin and the constellation of freckles across his cheeks. Looking at him she knew that she had found her perfect escape.
She couldn't go to Nathan, she valued her relationship with him too much, but Bellamy was different. She had only begun to barely consider him a friend and she doubted that sleeping with him would damage what form of relationship they had. What she wanted was purely physical and had nothing to do with feelings, feelings that did not exist, though a small part of her knew that it wasn't what she needed. Bellamy had slept with many of the girls in the camp already and there never seemed to be any awkwardness between them afterwards. Mara believed that that was what she wanted: a physical connection to make her forget, and one that would have no repercussions.
"I really don't want to think about anything tonight," she whispered as she delicately took a step towards him.
He watched her with guarded eyes as she slid her hands up his abdomen, tracing the lines of his muscles, before resting them on his firm chest. His arms wrapped around her waist to pull her flush against his body. She let out a soft gasp when he pulled her ever closer as if he wanted to merge their bodies together, though his eyes were filled with caution. Her hands slid up his strong arms, smoothing over his relaxed shoulders and into the messy curls of his hair, her wristband nearly getting tangled in it. Her pink lips parted delicately as she tilted her head back to look at him fully. They were pressed so tightly together that it was almost impossible to tell where he ended and she began. They moved ever so slowly towards each other until their lips almost touched.
"Are you sure?" She shivered as his warm breath skimmed over her cheeks and softly nodded her head in reply.
She could see every mark on his face, both old and new, and knew that if she were to count all of his freckles that it would take her hours, but she believed that she wouldn't be bored at all.
There was a moment of pause when everything seemed to stop around them when not a sound could be heard and all of their worries slipped away like dust in the wind. They stared at each other and she felt that he was looking into her very soul. She shivered in delight as one of his hands slid tantalisingly up her back to ball her hair in his fist at the nape of her neck. His other hand slipped to the small of her back, holding her in place and lightly smoothing over the curve of her ass. She quivered under his touch as she untangled one of her hands from his hair to caress the side of his face, her thumb tracing delicate lines over his sharp cheekbone. A burning need to fully press her lips to his instead of leaving them lingering just apart filled her so intensely that she blinked in surprise.
He, thinking that she was second-guessing herself, began to pull away. Before he could distance himself too much and before the moment could be lost, she gently pressed her hand harder into the side of his face. He stopped moving and stared into her shining eyes in a way that made Mara's heart race. He remained cautious, waiting for her to react, still unsure if it was what she really wanted. If Mara was honest with herself, she would know that what she was doing wasn't what she really needed, but the desperation to feel any form of comfort overwhelmed her.
She couldn't take her eyes off of him, not even to flick down to his lips that were inviting her to press her own to them. She tried to steady her heart and the nerves that were turning into a tornado in her stomach but she knew that such a feat would be entirely impossible. She slowly moved her face closer to his so that their lips were just touching. Her eyes fluttered closed as she unconsciously licked her bottom lip and accidentally bumped his with her tongue. Bellamy tensed under her hands and she worried that he didn't want to kiss her but it seemed that her touching his lip was the push that he needed. He leaned forward just as slowly as she had and finally pressed his closed lips to hers.
His lips were just as she had expected them to be: they weren't soft, but chapped and rough from spending his days working in the sun and not drinking nearly enough water, but they were gentle and sweet. As soon as their lips touched, she felt her nerves disappear from her stomach to be replaced by the most delightful butterflies that fluttered their wings, spreading giddiness throughout her body and momentarily chased the horrifying images from her mind. Her fingers tingled as she gripped his hair tighter and pressed her lips harder against his. He felt the eagerness on her lips and slid his hand from the small of her back to place it on the side of her neck and traced a line of fire over her jawline with his thumb. Her lips were only slightly softer than his when he slipped his warm tongue between them, causing her to lightly moan in satisfaction as his tongue danced with hers.
She melted into his arms, her feet sinking to rest flat on the ground as he bent down so that his lips would never leave hers. The hand that was cupping his cheek slid down to his hard chest, his heart beating against her palm before she fisted his shirt in her hand as she urged him on. He groaned into her kiss and his arms swooped down to circle her waist again.
He pulled back slightly, instantly missing the warmth of her lips, to try and catch his breath. They breathed each other in with heaving chests and pounding hearts until his lips were on hers again, but this time they were tinted with desperation. He titled her back so that he was leaning over her slightly, and her hands moved to his hair again, his curls slipping through her fingers like water. Her fingers tingled as he continued to kiss her deeply as if she was the only thing tying him to the earth and if he let go he would float away with nothing to hold him down.
They both had to pull away eventually, the need to breathe overpowering their need to kiss but they remained locked in each other's arms.
"Are you sure?" He whispered a breathy moan in her ear, dipping his head to kiss one of the bruises Murphy had left on her neck.
She squeezed his biceps in assurance; his mouth on hers and the light kisses on her neck were making her forget the aching pain in her body. She desperately wanted him to chase the images away, even just for a little while.
His mouth left her neck, trailing kisses along her jaw before they embraced her lips once more in a searing kiss that stole her breath. He laced his fingers with hers and began to walk her towards the camp, his lips never leaving hers until they crossed the threshold. He parted from her and his fiery eyes, hooded with desire, stared deep into hers, sweeping over the flush of her cheeks and the rapid rising and falling of her chest.
He guided her through the almost empty camp towards his tent and the few stragglers still milling about the dying fires paid them no attention.
His tent was much larger than the others in the camp, one of the perks of being a leader, and Mara didn't have to stoop to enter it. His tent was colder than the night outside and was almost entirely drenched in darkness other than a faint orange glow emanating from the campfires. There was a small log next to the entrance that he used as a table but the most surprising piece of furniture in the tent was a bed. Raised just above the ground, the bed reached to Mara's knees and was covered in swaths of parachute material and crudely cut animal furs. He even had a pillow made out of leaves wrapped in a part of the parachute. Mara suspected that she had never seen something so inviting in her whole life, especially after sleeping on the hard chairs that made her bed.
Bellamy entered the tent behind her and pulled her close so that her back was flush with his hard chest as he rubbed soothing circles on her hips. His teeth grazed the shell of her ear as he pulled her hair to the side and exposed her neck. Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips drifted over her throat, sucking lightly on her pulse and grazing her collarbone. Each time his lips would come across a bruise he would apply less pressure and would spend longer soothing the marks left behind by Murphy's hatred. His hands dipped under the hem of her shirt and danced across her stomach to lightly squeeze her waist. His touch left a trail of electricity on her skin and she moaned in pleasure when he sucked on her pulse point. She could feel his lips quirk into a smile at the effect he was having on her and when she squirmed against him she could feel that he was reacting in the same way.
Bellamy pulled away from her, his hands falling to her lower back as he guided her towards the bed. She turned around to kiss him, capturing his bottom lip between her teeth and tugging lightly. It was Bellamy's turn to groan as he pressed his body against hers, her soft curves fitting almost perfectly into his hands. He gently laid her down on the bed and clambered on after her. He held himself over her, his eyes locking with hers, making sure that he wasn't going too far with her.
She needed to feel something other than pain; she needed to be released from the tension that was eating away at her insides and consuming her whole. She knew that what she was doing was not the answer, that she was only hiding from her hurt and that she wouldn't be able to run forever, but with Bellamy's lips kissing a trail down her exposed skin, she was willing to lie to herself. She told herself that being close to someone would make her feel better, that it would take the pain away. She lied to herself as Bellamy hovered over her, his fingers working on the buttons on her shirt. She couldn't think of Charlotte, or of the feeling of the little girl slipping out of her reach and falling somewhere she couldn't follow.
She ran her hands up Bellamy's arms, sliding them along his shoulders and hastily removing his jacket. She breathed him in as his mouth made its way to her jawline, kissing her with such intensity that Mara knew he was using her to forget in the same way that she was using him.
She lifted her back from his bed so that she could remove her shirt and bra, trying to ignore the numbness aching in her heart. She did not feel embarrassed as Bellamy's gaze lingered on her naked torso; she couldn't feel much of anything other than impatience that he was taking too long. She needed to feel alive. She urged him on by grazing her hands up his sides and swiftly yanking his shirt over his head to discard it on the floor with the rest of their clothes. Her eyes danced wondrously over his exposed torso and his muscles stretched beneath his skin as he unconsciously flexed under her gaze.
The light in the tent had turned her eyes from brown to liquid honey and the look of lust in them made Bellamy's heart pound almost painfully in his chest. He had thought that she was pretty when he met her in the dropship, but had thought nothing more of her; the light flickering across her skin darkened her bruises and made him think that she was more than just pretty. He had to look away from her eyes when he saw a flash of the sadness she had tried to bury deep under her desire.
His lips returned to her collarbone in a kiss that was both delicate and pleading. It failed to hide his need to feel comforted as much as she did. As his fingertips brushed across he purple bruises marring her body and the thin scratch that swooped across her jawline, he felt a strange need to protect the battered girl beneath him: to take her bruises away and lighten the sadness in her normally bright eyes.
His chest swept over hers as he gently sucked the skin on her shoulder and leaving a faint mark behind to blend in with the rest of her bruised body. His lips met no resistance as they glided over hers with an intensity that made Mara's head spin. His fingers trailed down her stomach, dipping between her parted legs and grasping her clothed thigh. She could feel his excitement pressed against her and felt her own building. His eyes, darkened by lust, shot to hers as he silently asked for permission to continue. His eyes, the color of the earth beneath their bodies, fluttered closed. His lips parted with a ragged moan as she dipped her head into the crook of his neck, grazing her teeth lightly over his skin before she kissed his pulse.
Mara had managed to expel her negative thoughts from her mind but the instant his fingers began working on the button of her pants she tensed. The only thing that she could think of was Charlotte's disapproving face staring down at her in disgust. She couldn't believe what she was doing, couldn't believe that she was trying to forget Charlotte. No one deserves to be forgotten, Mara's thought forced her tears to rise to the surface again and she had to force herself to hold them back.
Bellamy's hands stilled the second he felt Mara freeze beneath him and when he saw the pain in her eyes and the unshed tears he knew that things had gone too far for her.
"You okay?" He pulled away from her slightly, propping himself up on his elbows. He mentally scolded himself for not realising sooner that they should never have taken it as far as they did, not when she wasn't emotionally stable enough.
"Yeah," she choked, "I'm sorry." She avoided his eyes, almost embarrassed with herself.
"Hey, no," he whispered, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb, "you have nothing to be sorry for," he reassured her, hating to see the pain that had returned to her eyes.
Bellamy rolled off of Mara so that he was propped up on his side facing her. Their legs were still locked together and their bodies were still touching but Mara couldn't look at him. She felt ashamed that she had tried to forget Charlotte and embarrassed that she had started crying again. She knew, logically, that she had nothing to feel bad about but she couldn't stop herself from being mortified at her actions. Bellamy watched as a pink flush spread from the swell of her breasts to the tips of her cheeks and reached out to her.
"We don't have to do this, it's okay" he reassured her, weaving his fingers with hers and squeezing lightly. He was taken aback by the vulnerability in her shining eyes when she finally looked at him. "You never have to do anything you don't want to do. It doesn't matter how far we went, or who started it, all that matters is that we are both comfortable." Her eyes widened in surprise when he placed her hand over his heart, and she could feel the steady thumping in his chest. "You changed your mind, Mara, and that's okay."
Mara twisted onto her uninjured side so that she was facing Bellamy, her heart aching pleasantly at the sincerity in his soft eyes. She had only ever seen him like this once before as he was usually smirking or barking orders, and quickly decided that it was her favorite side of him. She was instantly grateful that it was Bellamy she was lying in bed with and not someone else as she wasn't certain anyone else would have picked up on her subtle change in attitude as quickly as he had.
"Thank you," she whispered in a voice so broken with emotion that Bellamy reacted on instinct. He cupped her warm face in his large hand and leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on her forehead just beside her scar. "I should probably go, you don't need a half-naked crying girl in your bed," Mara tried to laugh but the sound was too watery to be funny.
Bellamy quirked his eyebrow at her, before leaning over her to pick her shirt off of the ground and handing it to her.
"You don't have to," he replied as he helped her into her shirt. "There," he smiled, "now you're just a crying girl in my bed."
She rolled her eyes lightly at him but the corners of her mouth quirked upwards in the hint of a smile. He returned her smile and wrapped her in his arms, tucking her head under his chin so that her ear was pressed over his heart. He stroked his hands slowly up and down her back in a gesture that brought her more comfort that she could ever have imagined. It felt good to just be held, to not have to be the one doing the holding for a change. He twisted so that he was lying with his back on the bed and Mara was half on top of him.
They lay in almost complete silence, and a tangle of limbs, until Mara managed to drift off to the sound of Bellamy's heart pumping in her ear, her dreams filled with Charlotte's smiling face. It took Bellamy longer to fall asleep as he was too busy wondering why he had almost insisted she stayed in his bed. He liked having a girl sleeping with him, wrapped in his arms, but they would have always have had sex first; even with his previous girlfriends, they had never just slept in bed together. Bellamy argued with himself that the only reason Mara was still in his bed was that he didn't think he would have been capable of sending a crying girl away. Besides, he reasoned with himself, it's cold tonight and she's keeping me warm, but a small smile still crept across his face when she scrunched her nose in her sleep and nuzzled further into him. He pulled the furs tighter around them and settled into a restless sleep.
They were abruptly awakened by Nathan's panicked voice sounding as he burst into the tent.
"Bellamy! I can't find Mara," the boy was so panicked that he had seen Mara in Bellamy's bed but hadn't recognised her, "and I've looked everywhere for her. I think she's-"
"Nathan," Mara groggily interrupted him as she rubbed a hand over her tired eyes and sat up, Bellamy's arm falling away from her waist, "I'm here."
Nathan's eyes widened as he finally recognised her before his face flashed through a dizzying array of emotions. He finally settled on relief as he crossed the tent to stand in front of her, uncaring that she and Bellamy were in bed together and that it wasn't entirely obvious that they were wearing clothes.
"Stop disappearing!" Nathan scolded, his arms folded across his chest and his eyebrow cocked. "I swear you're going to send me to an early grave."
Nathan spluttered when he realised what he had said, desperately trying to backtrack but failing miserably.
"Miller," Bellamy grunted, "either shut up or get the hell out."
"Are you okay?" Nathan ignored Bellamy and sat next to Mara, taking her hand in his and forcing Bellamy to move over in the bed.
"I'll let you know when I figure it out," Mara smiled sadly at him, squeezing his hand lightly. "I'll see you later," she turned to Bellamy, smiling at him softly, and guided Nathan out of the tent. She paused just before she followed Nathan outside, turning and finding Bellamy watching them go. "Thanks," she whispered tenderly to him.
"No problem," he smirked at her and winked as he pulled the furs around his neck and settled back into his bed.
Mara rolled her eyes at him, the old Bellamy was back.
"When did that become a thing?" Nathan whispered to Mara once she had emerged from the tent.
"It's not a thing," she answered as she dragged him towards their tent. "I mean, it nearlywas, but it isn't anymore."
Nathan nodded his head in understanding as he stopped her abruptly in front of a smouldering fire.
"Don't get involved with him," Nathan cautioned, "he's slept with half the camp already. I like the guy and everything, but he'll just hurt you."
"Nathan," Mara placed her hand warmly on his arm, "there is nothing going on with me and Bellamy. I just needed someone and he was there, that's it."
"Really?"
"Yes, I barely know him. I don't have any feelings for him."
"You don't have to have feelings for someone to have sex with them," Nathan reminded her, quirking an eyebrow at her.
"Nathan," Mara warned, "drop it."
Nathan raised his hands in a surrendering signal as he allowed her to brush past him. He walked silently beside her and she could feel his eyes on her but she chose to ignore him.
He noticed that she was walking with a very slight limp and that she made sure that her arm didn't brush against her right side, and he could vaguely make out bruises wrapping around her neck. Clarke and Finn had told him about what had happened to Charlotte on the cliff and he couldn't imagine the state that Mara's head was in. His own mind was a bit messed up as he was still trying to process that the girl had killed Wells, let alone threw herself from the top of a cliff. He was also still trying to process the rage that had filled him when he demanded for Murphy to be floated, he had turned into someone he barely recognised and he wasn't sure if he was comfortable with whom he had become. He wasn't sure if he wanted to talk about everything that had happened but he knew that he would if it was what Mara needed. He had been arrested four months before Mara and had only ever really spoken to the guards during that time. He had been given a cellmate for a week before the boy was floated, Nathan couldn't even remember the boy's crime, but after that, he was on his own again. Mara kept him sane in the Sky Box and had stopped him from feeling like a complete failure when he pictured the look of disapproval on his dad's face, and he was determined to return the favour. He swore to himself that he wouldn't let anyone harm the closest friend he had ever had.
Mara stopped walking the instant she entered their tent. Her bed was incredibly empty; Charlotte's usual presence was strikingly absent. It was almost as if Mara could have pretended that everything was a bad dream until she saw her abandoned bed. The flower crown Charlotte had made days before lay trampled and decaying on the ground.
"What are you doing?" Mara questioned when Nathan began moving the chairs that made her bed.
"I figured that you wouldn't want to sleep alone tonight," Nathan pursed his lips, leaning over one of the chairs he had been moving as he waited for her to agree or disagree.
Mara stared at him for the longest time. She didn't think that she would be able to sleep alone. Maybe that's why I needed Bellamy, she thought. Looking at the empty chairs made the numbness begin to return to her heart and she knew that it was a feeling she never wanted to experience again.
With her decision made, she began to help Nathan move her chairs to sit them side-by-side with his until they made something that could vaguely resemble a proper bed. They were still lacking many things, mainly the pillows and the blankets that Bellamy's bed could provide, but there was something about the joined chairs that made Mara feel like she was home.
Mara's last thought, before she slipped into an uneasy sleep with Nathan's comforting presence by her side, was: I should have gone to Nathan first.
It seemed that Nathan's penchant for waking Mara up abruptly would always be an aspect of their relationship as he clambered over her to get out of their bed, his knee accidentally colliding with her injured side as he cursed under his breath.
"What are you doing?" She murmured her voice groggy with sleep. "It's still dark out."
"I'm leading a group out to get more water," he told her, crouching by her head as she twisted around so that she was lying flat on her stomach. Her arms under her body made her wristband dig into her stomach uncomfortably but she was used to the mild annoyance.
"Okay, just give me a minute and I'll come with you," she spoke over her yawn as she climbed out of the chairs and groaned the minute she realised that she had left her bra in Bellamy's tent. She had hoped that she would have been able to avoid speaking to him for at least a couple of hours but it seemed that luck was not on her side. "I'll meet you at the gate."
She hugged her jacket tighter to herself as she stepped around Nathan and into the crisp morning air. The sun was just beginning to rise above the treetops, sending a splattering of golden light through the swaying green leaves. The camp was only just beginning to awaken and the few that passed her on her way to Bellamy's tent either offered a bleary "hello" or a wary look.
She paused when she reached Bellamy's tent, listening to see if she could hear anyone inside. The tent was completely silent so she pushed aside the entrance and found that it was empty. She spotted her bra lying on top of Bellamy's bed, laid out as if he was waiting for her to collect it. She quickly shed her jacket and shirt and pulled her bra on. She was glad that Bellamy wasn't in the tent, she didn't really want to have to speak to him yet as she was still embarrassed that she had all but thrown herself at him in her grief. However, another part of her was disappointed that he wasn't there as it meant that it would just delay the inevitable encounter they would have. She knew that Bellamy didn't want any type of relationship with her and she needed to make sure that he knew that she felt the same. She didn't want him worrying that she had wanted something more from him.
When she arrived at the main gate of the camp, she found Nathan, Octavia and a boy named Drew waiting for her. Nathan and Drew seemed to be locked in conversation as they threw wary glances in a sulking Octavia's way.
"Everything okay here?" Mara asked as she approached them and took the backpack Nathan offered her.
"Finally," Octavia moaned, "those two won't stop annoying me," she glared at Nathan and Drew who both huffed and crossed their arms over their chests simultaneously.
"You two are spending way too much time with Bellamy," Mara laughed as the two boys glanced at each other and, noticing the position they were both standing in, immediately dropped their arms by their sides.
Octavia smirked at Mara in a manner that was strikingly like her brother's as the two girls led the small group out of the camp.
"You really shouldn't be out here, Octavia," Drew piped up from behind them. "Bellamy wouldn't like it."
"What Bellamy doesn't know won't hurt him," Octavia cast over her shoulder.
"Yeah, it'll hurt me," Drew stressed, shaking his blond head, his green eyes widening fractionally as he thought about what Bellamy would do to him if he found out Octavia had left camp.
"She'll be fine, she's got us," Mara bumped her shoulder against Octavia's, flashing a small smile and a wink. Octavia giggled and grabbed Mara's hand, dragging her further into the forest and leaving Nathan and Drew a safe distance behind.
"I get it, you know," Octavia said as she rolled her eyes thinking about her brother. "I'm his sister, and I love him, but sometimes I just wished that he'd let me breathe."
"He's just trying to keep you safe," Mara reasoned but Octavia only huffed in annoyance. It was almost scary how alike Octavia and Bellamy were. Mara had never met any siblings – she doubted that any of the delinquents had – so it was strange to see two people being so alike; even the way they walked was frighteningly similar.
"What did you do to get down here?" Octavia changed the subject, skimming her hands along the bark of the trees they passed and plucking an orange flower from one of the lower branches.
"I stole medicine," no one had asked her that since being on the ground because no one really cared; they were all on the ground together and after the first few days, people stopped caring why the others were arrested.
"Why?"
"My mom was sick, I just wanted to help her," Nathan was the only person she had told why she had stolen the medicine. A few curious guards who couldn't be bothered to read the file each prisoner had, had asked her what her crime had been but as soon as they found out, they had lost interest. Stealing medicine was considered one of the worst crimes on The Ark; it was ranked right beside murder.
"That sucks," Octavia grumbled as she dropped the flower to the ground and plucked another one.
"What's it like having a brother?" Mara was genuinely curious. She wondered what it would be like to have someone, other than her parents, as part of her biological family.
"He used to give me pony rides," Octavia smiled at the memory, "he'd take me through an imaginary jungle or across a desert," she laughed lightly as she remembered the happier moments of her childhood. "Sometimes I'd even make him play mermaids with me and he'd sit and braid my hair for me. I only ever remember him complaining once when I was five, but I think he realised that he was the only friend I had. He never complained after that."
"It sounds nice," Mara answered truthfully.
"Yeah, it was until I had to hide under the floorboards," Octavia's voice seeped with bitterness but Mara couldn't deny her the right to be angry. Mara couldn't begin to imagine what it must have been like for Octavia as a child, to be forced to live under the floor with the threat of death constantly hanging over her head.
"What happened to you wasn't fair. You should never have been locked up just for being born."
"Yeah, well, I don't think Jaha cared very much about being fair."
There was a lull in the conversation between the two girls as they walked through the forest, both lost in their own thoughts. The more Mara learned about some of the other delinquents, the more she understood that she had had an easy upbringing. Sometimes their rations would be a little low or her parents would get into a fight, but Mara had had a relatively comfortable childhood for someone living on Factory Station. It made Mara's heart ache to think about what some of the hundred had gone through growing up.
"Did you know about Wells?" Octavia asked unexpectedly.
"What do you –"
"About Charlotte killing him?" Octavia interrupted her.
"No," Mara paused, not really wanting to talk about either Charlotte or Wells, "I think she tried to tell me once, but no," Mara remembered Charlotte trying to say something to her before she got in a fight with Murphy. Mara wished that she hadn't been so hot-headed and had actually listened to the little girl, thinking that things could have turned out much different if she had. "No, I didn't know."
"I thought so," Octavia assured with a glint of triumph in her eyes. "Some people think that you knew, but I saw the look on your face when Charlotte confessed. There was no way you could have known," Octavia finished and plucked a small purple flower from the ground to give to Mara.
Mara accepted the flower graciously as they finally reached the rapidly flowing river. Octavia raced ahead to the river but paused when she reached its edge. She stared into its depths, searching for anything living under it before she picked up a rock and threw it into the water. When nothing stirred, other than the ripples from the rock, she steadily lowered her backpack to the ground and pulled out a small bucket. Mara joined her and the two pulled their socks and shoes off and rolled their pants up to their knees before wading into the river. Mara began filling up her bucket but something prickled at the back of her neck. She had the feeling again that they were being watched but, as she scanned the trees on the opposite river bank, she could see no sign of movement.
"What's wrong?" Octavia picked up on Mara's tension as she flipped her long brown hair over one shoulder.
"I don't know. I just have a feeling we're being watched," she whispered to the other girl. "Stay here," she ordered when she saw Nathan and Drew walking through the tree line.
Mara approached the two boys, trying to act like everything was normal just in case someone was watching them. Both boys stopped talking the minute they noticed the edginess etched onto Mara's features and their eyes instantly began scanning the trees. It seemed that Bellamy was good at picking the members of his militia.
"I have a bad feeling about this place," Mara stooped to put her socks and shoes back on, grimacing at the ugly squelching sound they made. She plastered a fake smile on her face as she crossed to Drew and patted him on the back. "Okay," she started in an overly friendly voice, "why don't you stay here with Octavia, and Nathan and I will go and see if my instincts were right."
"What? Why do I have to stay here with her?" Drew whined. "You should stay," he pointed accusingly at Mara, "and Miller and I will go look."
"No, Mara's right," Nathan decided, "Bellamy would kill us if we left her here unprotected."
"Sir, yes sir," Drew huffed sarcastically as he let his backpack drop to the ground. "Hey, Octavia!" He called as he pulled a bucket from his backpack.
"Go away, Drew," Octavia groaned as she began filling her second bucket.
"Aw, come on, don't be like that! I think you and me are going to be great friends!"
Mara and Nathan left their backpacks with the two in the water and began heading down the riverbank. They were on constant alert and any little sound they heard made them pause but nothing ever appeared. They had been walking for ten minutes when they decided that there was nothing in the forest until there was a rustle in the trees across the river that made Mara freeze in place. She tensed as she stared into the trees waiting for something to appear, and carefully pulled the knife she always kept with her from her back pocket. She hoped that it was a harmless animal looking for water but the unpleasant tingling running up her spine instinctively told her that it was something far more sinister. She did not have to wait long before the branches of the trees began to part much lower than she had expected and she saw a flash of blonde hair coming towards her. Charlotte's face flashed painfully in her mind before she expelled the ridiculous notion that Charlotte had somehow survived the fall. Slowly the person on the opposite riverbank revealed themselves and Mara prepared herself to run before she realised that the Grounder was a young boy of around six years old, and was yet to notice her and Nathan's presence. The boy had a sweet face with a sharp, hooked nose and piercing, calculating eyes that seemed much too old for his age. He was the first Grounder that Mara had ever seen and he looked nothing like the stories the younger campers had invented to scare each other late at night.
He seemed perfectly ordinary, like any other child on The Ark, as he pulled a flask from his pocket and bent into the river to fill it up. Mara didn't want to frighten the young boy; she correctly guessed that if the delinquents had created stories about the Grounders, that they would have done the same to them. Mara slowly slid her knife back into her pocket and Nathan followed suit, though he kept a tight grip on it. She took a deliberate step backwards but her foot caught on a loose stone and she was sent careening into the freezing water. She spluttered as the water hit her lungs, knocking the wind out of her, but when she quickly righted herself once more she found that the boy was staring at her and Nathan in a mixture of curiosity and fear.
"Yo laik kom Skaikru!"
Mara scrunched her eyebrows together in puzzlement as she replayed the boys' words in her head to try and decipher them. He certainly hadn't spoken in English, and Mara couldn't identify the dialect as it sounded nothing like any of the languages spoken on The Ark.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand what -" Mara stopped herself abruptly when the boy scrambled away from her, his eyes widening in fear as he began shrieking.
"Nontu! Nontu!"
Mara didn't want to stick around and find out what or who "Nontu" was. She turned and fled as the boy continued screaming, her heart racing as she ran faster than she was used to back to Octavia and Drew. She and Nathan shared a look of apprehension as they ran down the riverbank
"We need to leave, now!" Mara called when she spotted Octavia just ahead of her in the water.
"What's wrong?" Octavia called back, immediately making her way onto dry land.
"There are Grounders back there," Mara gestured behind her as she ran to a stop in front of them, her eyes scanning the trees across the river to see if she had been followed.
"How many?" Drew asked, his voice slightly panicked as he pulled a large knife from the inside of his jacket.
"Just one, but there could be more," Nathan's voice dripped with authority as he slipped into the role that Bellamy had granted him.
"How close are they?" Octavia asked as she began packing the filled canteens back into the backpacks.
"Close enough to know that we need to go now," Mara warned as she continued to look through the trees. She doubted that a little boy would be sent to collect water by himself and if he was then his home would likely be nearby, and she certainly didn't want to end up like Jasper with a hole in her chest.
"Let's go," Nathan ordered and the four of them stooped to collect the full water buckets by their feet.
Their walk back to camp was more of a light sprint, and much of the water sloshed from the buckets onto their feet. It was one of the few journeys into the forest that didn't make Mara look around her in amazement. It seemed that Earth was beginning to lose its appeal.
"Go find the map and mark where we were," Nathan ordered Drew as they entered into the safety of the camp, "and I'll go update Bellamy," Drew nodded his agreement before leaving his backpack with Mara and Octavia, and running away to disappear into one of the many tents.
Nathan helped the two girls empty the buckets into the various water tanks around camp, all of which were quickly drank from by eager campers as soon as they were filled. Octavia and Drew had managed to fill eight buckets and eighty canteens before they had been forced to leave the river. It was enough to last them another two or three days but after that, another party would have to collect more. The hunters had managed to catch three boars and five rabbits, which were being skinned and their furs flung into piles to be washed and used as blankets or socks that Mara would have to sew later. She was considering recruiting some of the delinquents who had basic knowledge of sewing to help her.
"I want to show you something," Octavia tugged on Mara's arm and led her away from Nathan and back to the main gate.
"Where are we going?" Mara laughed as Octavia grinned at her.
"Just wait."
They hadn't walked very far before there was a strange glow filtering through the trees. It was an odd shimmering blue color that made Mara believe that the radiation really hadn't left Earth. The light didn't seem to bother Octavia, who strutted towards it and pulled Mara's arm when she stopped walking. The light grew brighter and brighter as they approached it, turning it from a faint blue to a brilliant azure that seemed to infect the world around it and even turned the brown of the trees slightly blue. As they burst into a clearing, Mara saw the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
The clearing was filled with blue and purple glowing butterflies that lazily drifted through the air. There was so many of them that Mara could just about hear the sound of their wings swishing through the air. The light from the mid-afternoon sun reflected off of the array of colors that were dotted throughout their wings and sent the colours spiralling into the air. They were almost a blur of brilliant colour as they interacted with each other or lounged happily on the soft green grass.
"They're beautiful," Mara whispered in awe and stared in wonderment as Octavia stretched out her arm and two of the butterflies landed delicately on her. They seemed perfectly at peace with the two girls invading their home and one even felt safe enough to land on Mara's shoulder. She smiled at it, completely amazed that something so wonderful existed. Just when she had begun to become used to the Earth, it threw something new at her that made her rethink everything. Charlotte would have loved this; Mara couldn't help but think as a second butterfly joined its friend on her shoulder and her eyes welled with a strange mixture of tears. She was simultaneously happy and sad that Octavia had shown her such a place. It was almost as if the butterflies could sense her emotional distress as they fluttered their wings and three more landed on her. "How did you find it?"
"I was exploring the first couple of days after we landed and just stumbled upon it. I don't think anyone else knows it's here."
"Why did you show me then?"
"It's the kind of place you just can't be sad in.," Octavia glanced over at her as she slowly sank to the ground, the butterflies hovering over her before they resumed their positions. "I mean, your lips are smiling but your eyes just look sad, and you're one of the few people who hasn't made a stupid joke, which really isn't funny, about living under the floor. Plus, if I was going to show it to anyone, it might as well be the girl who looks like she needs to be shown the beauty of the world again."
Mara smiled softly at her, willing herself not to get choked up as she joined Octavia on the ground.
Her wristband unexpectedly began making a strange buzzing sound and started glowing red, and Mara stared down at it warily. It was normally completely silent, other than the occasional clicking, and it usually had a faint blue light coming off of it. As she raised it closer to her face to inspect it, the buzzing turned into a frantic whirring and Mara hissed in pain as it began pinching her wrist. The metal band continued to contract over her arm and squeezing her painfully. The strange strangling noises it was making had sent all of the butterflies zooming away from it as it grew almost deafeningly loud until it ceased completely. The pinching stopped and the noises silenced and, just as Mara was about to share a confounded look with Octavia, the band popped open with a snap and fell onto Mara's lap. The ominous red light slowly faded away to nothing and all that was left was an empty shell.
"What the hell?" Mara muttered as she picked up the lifeless wristband, examining it closely to see if there was any sign of damage on it. It looked exactly the same as it had done on The Ark, other than a splotch of dried dirt, and there were no visible signs that any damage had been done to it.
"Monty…" Octavia jumped to her feet and offered Mara her hand to help her up.
"Who's Monty?" Mara picked up her broken wristband from her lap and took Octavia's hand.
"He's been trying to use the wristbands to make contact with The Ark, you know, to let them know that it's safe to follow us down."
"So, this is bad right?" Mara's heart sank as she waved the piece of metal in front of her.
"I think so," Octavia frowned. "I'm not sure, I kind of tune out when Monty starts his technobabble," she admitted with a shrug of her shoulders and began to lead Mara out of the butterfly field. "You should come back tonight," Octavia called over her shoulder, "the moonlight makes the butterflies look even more beautiful."
"Yeah, sure," Mara was too distracted to properly answer her.
If the wristbands no longer worked, they wouldn't be able to transmit their vital signs back to The Ark, and if The Ark thought that The Hundred were all dead then they would think that it wasn't safe to follow them down. If The Ark didn't follow them down then it was likely that Mara would never see her father again. The idea of never seeing him made Mara want to cry again, but she was fed up shedding tears and refused to allow them to form. She was determined to find a way to contact The Ark, to let them know that ninety-three of the original hundred were still alive, and, even with the potential threat of the Grounders, that it was safe for them to land on Earth. Mara wanted, needed, to see her dad again; she couldn't lose anyone else.
It was that thought that made Mara follow Octavia into the dropship once they had returned to camp. She hadn't been inside the dropship since their first day on Earth, as she didn't like how much it felt like being back on The Ark, but she steeled herself and stalked up the ramp behind Octavia anyway.
The two girls pushed aside the curtain that was being used as a door and found Jasper crouched down along one of the walls and a boy, Mara assumed was Monty, sitting at a table with his head in his hands and a bundle of wires and homemade tools scattered around him.
"What happened, Monty?" Octavia asked the boy sitting at the table and sent a smile in Jasper's direction.
"I tried to use Clarke's wristband to make contact, and I nearly had it but I think I fried it instead," Monty moaned.
"You fried all of them," Mara muttered, not caring about pleasantries, as she handed Monty the useless piece of metal.
"This is Mara," Octavia briefly introduced them as Monty accepted Mara's wristband. The boy nodded his head at her and began carefully examining her wristband and comparing it with Clarke's.
They waited for him to say anything, or do something, but all he did was sit still and stare at the wristbands.
"Can you fix them?" Mara barked.
"I don't know," Monty mumbled and scratched the top of his head.
"Can you try something else then?" Mara was clearly irritated as she spoke. She didn't care that her mom had taught her to always be polite, because if it came to choosing between seeing her dad again and being nice, she would choose her dad any day.
"I…" Monty stammered, "I'm out of ideas."
Monty sounded incredibly downtrodden, but Mara couldn't bring herself to care. His defeatist attitude was getting on her nerves
"Think of something," she ordered as she stomped out of the dropship, muttering a "see you later" to Octavia as she passed.
Mechanics and engineering had never been her favorite subjects in school, in fact, she completely despised them, so she had no clue how to set about fixing the wristbands, but she was damn sure that she would do everything in her power to make contact with The Ark. She would see her dad again, and she wasn't going to let anything or anyone stand in her way.