"Severus…" Harry called out, rushing to the man's side.
Severus's head jerked up, confusion quickly replaced by rage appearing on his face. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I… I forgot my cloak," Harry mumbled lamely, startled by the look of absolute fury in Severus's eyes.
"Get out!" Severus bellowed.
"I…" Harry began, feeling wrong-footed.
"OUT!"
Harry took a step back, then another. Then reason stopped him.
"No," Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest. "We are not doing this again."
"WE are not doing anything!" Severus shouted. "Now get out, before I curse you into oblivion."
Harry stepped boldly forward. "You are going to have to curse me then. I am not leaving."
Severus whipped his wand out and pointed it at Harry's chest, his lip curling in distaste.
Harry held his ground, silently daring Severus to make good on his threat.
And then Harry watched as not only Severus's wand fell, but his mask as well. Pain and anguish took the place of anger and Severus collapsed in on himself, that horrible wounded animal sound escaping from his mouth once again.
Harry knelt beside him and put a cautious hand on the bowed wizard's shoulder. Severus flinched.
In a reedy voice, Severus rasped, "Just go, Harry." A sharp gasp and then, in a quieter, more desperate voice: "Please."
The entreaty in Severus's tone almost made Harry reconsider. But he couldn't leave Severus like this. Reaching out, he gently cupped Severus's chin and pulled his face up, taking in the livid bruise on his cheek, the purpling eye, the trembling lower lip, the deathly pallor, the tear-streaked face.
"You're hurt," Harry breathed.
Severus cursed and pulled away.
"Come on, let's get you to bed," Harry said, helping Severus to his feet. Which were bare. As were the man's legs. Harry felt his knees lock as he noticed the blood that ran down the inside of Severus's legs and blossomed into a growing puddle on the floor. Eyes widening in horror, Harry's gaze continued up the man's black robes to find them torn and shredded, up his bruised neck, and finally, up to Severus's hard, stony eyes.
"Happy now?" Severus sneered, pushing Harry away from him. "Got what you came for? Want to have a go at me now, too?" he snarled, an injured animal lashing out.
Severus stumbled toward his bedroom. Harry stared after him, momentarily dumbfounded. A trail of blood followed in Severus's wake and Harry felt a wave of nausea crash over him.
Shaking himself, Harry uttered softly, "No, not like that." He caught up to Severus and eased the wizard into his bed, sitting beside him. "Never like that."
Severus rolled away from Harry, curling up on his side facing the wall.
Harry placed a gentle hand on Severus's shoulder and cautiously rubbed light circles on the man's back.
"I admit I've thought about it," Harry said, "but I always envisioned it as mutual." Harry shook his head; it was probably the wrong thing to say at a time like this.
"You need to see Madam Pomfrey."
"No."
"Severus, you're bleeding."
"I just need some blood replenishing potion. It's on my dresser, if you wouldn't mind."
Harry sighed, not surprised. He went to the dresser and found the potion. He grabbed a few different pain relieving potions as well, not sure which one would be best. At the last minute, he caught sight of a vial that simply had the word Crucio on it, and brought that one over as well.
Severus accepted the vials, sorted through them, and drank three of them: the blood replenisher, a medium-strength pain potion, and the one marked Crucio. Harry bit his lip to keep himself from commenting.
Harry frowned down at the pool of darkness spreading out around Severus's waist. Gritting his teeth, Harry steeled himself and said, "It's me or Poppy. Take your pick."
"What are you talking about?" Severus snapped.
"Someone needs to take a look at you, Severus. I'd recommend Madam Pomfrey as she knows a whole lot more about healing charms than I do. But if you won't let her tend to you, then it's going to have to be me."
Severus glanced over his shoulder, his eyes shining with anger and betrayal, his lips compressed into a thin line.
"Hate me all you want, Severus. I'm not going to let you bleed to death." He gave Severus a moment to let that sink in before saying, "So who's it going to be? Me or Poppy?"
Severus closed his eyes and Harry could see the man clenching his jaw, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed.
Finally, in a voice Harry could barely hear, Severus whispered, "Poppy."
"Good choice," Harry said. As Harry made to leave, a hand gripped his wrist, hard and unforgiving.
"Please," Severus said, his eyes pleading. "Please, I can't… she can't…"
Harry paused and sat down beside Severus on the bed. "What is it?"
"Sedate me, will you? I can't bear…" Severus looked away, unable to continue, but Harry understood. Severus didn't want Poppy to see him like this and, if she had to, then he didn't want to be awake to know about it.
"Of course," Harry said, smoothing a loose strand of hair from Severus's face. "Potion or spell?"
"Spell," Severus rasped.
Harry nodded. "Noctis," he whispered. Then he bent down, kissed the unconscious wizard softly on his brow, and made his way to the Floo to summon Poppy.
Severus awoke to a dull ache in his bum and the sound of… snoring? As his eyes adjusted to the dim light of the fire burning in the grate, he glanced around, seeing Harry asleep in a chair beside his bed. The young man looked worried, even in sleep.
"Harry," he called, but his voice came out hoarse and unintelligible. He cleared his throat and tried again. "HARRY!"
This time, Harry jerked awake, automatically reaching for his wand. When Harry's eyes met his, the younger man said, "Oh, you're awake." Harry got to his feet and came around to his side of the bed, sitting near him. "How are you feeling?"
"Brilliant," Severus said.
"Sorry, stupid question," Harry said. He glanced at the clock on the wall.
"Poppy left you some potions. She said you're to take them every six hours." Harry rummaged through the vials on the nightstand, finding the ones he wanted and handing them to Severus. "She said I didn't need to wake you for the next dose but, since you're already awake, you might as well take them now."
"Why are you still here?" Severus asked.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because it's the middle of the night and, last I knew, you had your own quarters," Severus said dryly.
Harry gave him a sly grin. "I happen to like yours quarters more. You see, there's this grouchy old wizard that I quite fancy, and he happens to live in them. So," Harry shrugged his shoulders, "I'm still here."
Severus downed the potions in lieu of answering.
Harry reached out and put a tentative hand on Severus's shoulder.
"Don't," Severus said.
Harry let out a breath and took his hand back. "Do you want me to go?"
"You should return to your quarters," Severus replied.
"That's not what I asked," Harry said.
"If I kick you out, are you going to storm back in here first thing in the morning?"
"You can bet your life on it," Harry said.
Severus rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. Lifting the covers beside him, Severus said, "Get in, then."
Surprised, Harry stared dumbly at Severus for a moment. Then, not wanting to waste such a precious opportunity, he jumped to his feet, walked around the bed, and slid in next to Severus.
"Rules, Harry. Don't touch me while I sleep and no snoring."
"Yes, sir," Harry said around a smile.
Severus rolled over and looked at him, longing and sadness in his gaze.
"What is it?" Harry asked, yearning to reach out and touch the man but knowing it wouldn't be welcome right now.
Severus just shook his head and closed his eyes, effectively shutting Harry out.
Harry lay awake a long time after Severus's breathing evened out. He wanted to run his fingers along the planes of Severus's harsh face, smooth his hand over the man's lank hair, run a palm down his shoulder. But Severus had asked him not to touch him in his sleep and, after all the man had been through, Harry would give him whatever he needed to heal.
When Harry awoke in the morning, Severus's side of the bed was empty. Feeling disproportionately disappointed, Harry slipped out of bed, made use of the loo, then went to find Severus.
The black-haired wizard was sitting at the small table, head bowed, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee.
Harry stood in the doorway, not quite sure what to say.
"Sit down, Potter," Severus said.
Harry cringed. It had been a long time since Severus had called him that.
"Ask your questions, and then leave me in peace."
"I'm not leaving," Harry said, arms crossed over his chest as he stood, refusing the chair.
The cup in Severus's hands shattered. Harry jumped, his wand out, already reaching for Severus's hands to examine them for cuts and burns, to heal them if necessary.
Severus pulled his hands out of Harry's reach and got to his feet, backing away from Harry.
"Leave it," Severus said. "Just go."
"No."
"Dammit, Harry! This cannot work. Surely your feeble brain can wrap itself around that simple concept."
"Why can't it work?" Harry said, advancing on Severus. They'd had this conversation before, six months ago.
"Don't be daft. I'm not… I can't…" Severus's eyes were wild, panicky.
"You're afraid," Harry observed, surprised he hadn't realized it before.
Severus swallowed, turned away, leaned his forehead against the wall. "You deserve so much better than… this… than me."
Anger flared in Harry's gut. "What about you, Severus? What do you deserve?" he asked, his voice taunting, dangerous.
Harry reached around Severus, grabbed his wrists, and yanked them up over Severus's head, holding them against the wall. Then he pushed his entire body flush against Severus's backside, intentionally crowding the man into the wall as well.
Severus went rigid and tried to jerk out of Harry's grasp, but Harry held tight.
"What do you deserve, Severus?" Harry hissed. "Do you deserve this?" Harry asked, shoving himself harder against Severus, capturing him, holding him prisoner, pushing him farther than was probably wise.
Severus shivered and let out a strangled cry. "Let me go," he rasped, his breathing rapid, his pulse racing, his voice choked.
"Tell me," Harry jeered, "tell me what you feel. Right now. What are you feeling?"
"I… Don't…" Severus was trembling all over. "Please. Stop. Don't… Don't do this to me. Please."
Harry rubbed against Severus more intimately. "Do you feel my erection, Severus? Do you feel it pressed against you?"
"Stop," Severus said, his voice desperate.
"DO YOU?" Harry bellowed.
Severus stilled, paying attention.
Harry rubbed against his backside some more.
"I… no…" Severus said in a whisper. "I don't feel it."
"That's because I don't have one. I'm not turned on by rape." Harry released Severus's wrists and they dropped to the trembling man's sides. He took a tiny step backward, allowing a bit of space between their bodies.
"I have no desire to hurt you, Severus. None."
Severus's shoulders shook as he took in great, heaving breaths.
"And I'm not in any hurry either. For anything."
Severus made a wounded sound.
"I just want to be with you, Severus. Whatever that looks like."
Severus jammed a fist in his mouth.
"I won't leave you, Severus. Not because of this. Not because of anything." Harry took a deep breath, and chanced leaning his forehead against Severus's back, between his shoulder blades. "It seems you're rather stuck with me."
At those words, Severus spun around and let out a howl of pain as he reached for Harry.
Harry crushed the hurting man to his chest and held him tight, letting Severus sob into his shoulder. Eventually, they slid down the wall to the floor, with Severus shaking in Harry's arms as Harry stroked his hair and whispered words of reassurance to this shattered man whom he'd come to love.
When Severus had recovered sufficiently, he pulled himself into a sitting position, looking both abashed and ashamed. He made to turn away from Harry, but Harry reached for his chin, pulling Severus's gaze to his.
"Don't you dare," Harry said. "Don't you dare run away from me. I won't let you. I'm here, and I'm staying, and so are you."
Severus snorted, swallowing heavily and taking a moment to regain his composure. "Demanding little brat, aren't you."
"Damn right," Harry said, leaning forward to kiss Severus on the forehead. Then he got to his feet and offered Severus his hand. "Come on, let's get up. I could use some breakfast and a shower."