'Kathryn! Kathryn!'

I yell into the smoke and then the spray of the fire suppressant as it kicks in. Shit! where are we? I don't recognize this shuttle. Why am I here? Why do I think Kathryn is here? Is this our shuttle taking us back to Voyager? A moment of lover's concern, and then my starfleet training kicks in.

'Computer, lights, emergency transponder activation, scan for hostile lifeforms, environmental report and status report to conn' and as these run through I am scanning for Kathryn. Where is she? I am not even going to think of life without her. Damn delta quadrant.

A flash of red by the injection flow manifold panel, and I am there.

airway, breathing, circulation...

Let out that breath I was holding! Go get med kit. Alive.

Medical tricorder scan shows me concussion, broken ribs, contused lung, fractured femur. It runs through a list of diagnoses and the remedial action required. Finally! Concussion first to reduce oedema, and then run the osteo-regenerator over the femur fracture and the right ribs. A quick patch up. Will last until we see the Doctor. She looks like a tiny doll, I am overwhelmed by the need to shelter her. Kathryn looks older, like life has rubbed out her laughter. Her hair has some threads of silver and is short! She is so small and fragile I worry she could break. I stroke her cheek and whisper a prayer to my spirits for her health.

The reports are being relayed on audio from the console. Atmosphere breathable, slightly higher 02, not an issue, no airborne pathogens and safe for a non suited exit. No higher lifeforms, and certainly no evidence of hostility. Shuttle crash due to a band of high 02 concentration in the ionosphere at the time we used combustibles for a small course correction, causing a chain reaction which shut down the engines and precipitated our hasty arrival on the planet. Some evidence of chroniton particles. Damn! I hate anything with a time element in it. Possibly accounts for the dodgy memory. No doubt I am in some different damned time line, or is this one of the seeing the future backwards paradoxes that Kathryn tries to explain. Anything is possible in the delta quadrant. Where and when the hell are we?

At least most of the shuttle functions are reparable, though will take longer to reinitialise engines.

To be honest, I wasn't expecting the voice recitation from the computer, but have to admit it is a hell of an improvement to be able to do a running check whilst working on Kathryn. 'Set a level ten forcefield around shuttle and perimeter alert to 50m, activate alert if manufactured devices detected, life forms over 20 cubic centimeters or group approach, allow Voyager crewmembers approach' That should cover things for now.

I haven't looked outside, and this could be a shuttle sent to pick us up, but its all wrong. No doubt Tuvok, if there is a Tuvok here, will have his formidable Captain safety sensors focused on us. I give it 2 hours max before a rescue. My last certain memory is hearing Tuvok returning to pick us up off planet.

'Chakotay?' Kathryn groans. Here eyes have yet to open, but I give her hand a squeeze. I am always with you Kathryn.

Her eyes open, and she looks clear sighted. Thank the spirits! I let myself breathe more freely and run the medical tricorder over her again to reassure myself that there is a return towards normal. Still some neurotransmitter imbalance, suggesting some memory may be affected for her too. It is picking up damned chronitons too now. I am sure that there will be something similar for me.

'Kathryn, we are in a shuttle that has made an unscheduled landing' even I can't bear to say crash, though I notice she attempts to smile 'You have had a head injury, and a few others which I have done some running repairs on.' She murmurs her thanks, and struggles to hold in the wince and sharp exclamation as she tries to move. 'I need you to scan me, dearest, I think I have some holes in my memory. How we got here for one!'

'Dearest?' and she smiles brilliantly at me and I know that whatever memories we have lost, we haven't lost us. I grin back and hand her the tricorder. Spirits, but I remember being so worried hearing Tuvok's voice that we would be back to commander and captain. Somehow we must have managed to make it work.

'Yup, some neurochemical imbalance Chakotay, and some stray chronitons' and she looks slightly shyly at me. 'I guess this isn't a shuttle from Tuvok? lets get backups running and compare notes' the captain is back. 'Hmm' I respond 'at least we both have the same memories, I think?' a quick check, and we are agreed on the running basics, Caretaker, Val Jean, New Earth... we also are quite clearly not in that timeframe now. Have we both lived this life together and just forgotten? What are the chances of forgetting back to the same timeframe.

'We're starfleet officers, Chakotay. Weird is part of the job!'

I stop her recitation , holding her hand firmly still as she turns to start, and she notices for the first time the plain band of gold on my finger.

'We must have married' I breathe. Joy and wonderment. I cannot stop the huge grin that bursts forth. We married! My dreams a reality!

'I love you so much, Kathryn.'

She places her unadorned hand over mine. 'Maybe just you' she says quietly, frown appearing.

I have to laugh. 'As if I could marry anyone else when I gave you my heart the moment we met!'

'Chakotay!' she might be trying for denial, but like a stream held underground for too long, the knowledge is bursting free now. I know in my memory we have only just alluded to love, we have started the move closer, but somewhere and somewhen we must have made it.

'Kathryn, you know it. We both know it. We are meant to be together' and yet she still looks unconvinced. My wonderful, stubborn, woman.

'But back on the ship, Chakotay, I planned to put ... us, the promise of what we could have, could be aside. I couldn't be both, your lover and Captain' and with that she realises she has finally admitted her love for me too and struggles up and moves away.

Ha! She loves me. I cannot hide the huge smile that bursts across my face. She has admitted she loves me! And she knows it, a surprised and guilty look and then a half smile, peering at me from beneath her lashes to see if I have noticed, and then blushing at my clearly loving smile.

She loves me! I could broadcast this back to the alpha quadrant!

'We need to see to the shuttle first , Commander' briskly spoken to return my attention to matters at hand. And my heart full of our requited love, I give her this moment to adjust.

Soon we have a full rundown of systems, she is wielding the hypospanner to make this rather beautiful shuttle spaceworthy, and the computer has shocked us with a stardate unbelievably 8 years in the future. 8 years missing! 8 years, and we are still in the damned delta quadrant. My heart sings. I have married Kathryn Janeway!

Though, I have been wondering over the missing ring. I don't understand why only I wear one. I can't bear that she might be right. My heart is full of her, only her. But in eight years, could I? would I? I can't bear it. I will not let it be the truth.

I look at her again, checking to see how she is taking our situation. She has been biting and worrying her lower lip as she works. The 'tell', clearly trying to process who we are to each other now, whether she can accept that without further evidence. She finally smiles back at me. Thank the spirits. She is ready to come to me. I put all my love into the smile for her. Opening my arms to her, for her to finally step in.

'Eight years together, Chakotay, I must have lost my edge' she sighs and reclaims me from my thought.

'Never' I disavow that statement as I grin at her. 'We are still alive. We are still travelling. We have this beautiful shuttle. We have each other!'

She grins back at me, a half smile first gradually turning into the most beautiful and brilliant smile. A head shake, a small huff of a laugh of relief. I know she is mine, that she is allowing herself to be mine. Casting aside doubt she steps into my arms.

I cradle her gently, my woman finally and without delay I move to kiss her, a gentle press of lips against her forehead and smile into her.

'Another first kiss?' she murmurs.

We pause, caught in the moment, unsure of our past, not tethered in the present and with no vision of the future. We just are. We have this moment of togetherness and I am damn well going to take it.

I press again the softest kiss on her forehead as she tips her face up with that enraptured smile, her hands slipping up around my neck and our lips finally touch. My heart is fixed in time and place. I belong to this woman. With the gentlest, sweetest of kisses I let out a sigh of relief that comes from my very soul. I am at peace.

We are no longer alone.

-0-0-Janeway-0-0-

Oh God! Please let it be true.

I am so desperate to believe that it is me he is married to.

The thoughts that in this eight years we could have moved so far apart that he married someone else would break me if I considered it. Somewhere in the depths I can sense that black hole of loss, and part of me is sure that this is the outcome we have created. He is so sure though, and I so want to be sure.

Fixing the shuttle, I feel his eyes periodically on me. We truly don't know the last eight years, but for both of us is the desire to complete our courtship on New Earth. We are here, we are alive, the decision is made. I love him, and he has already openly avowed he loves me.

He loves me! Oh! Somehow that hits me like a punch in the solar plexus. My God! He loves me. Huh!

Looking round at him, standing with his heart shining to me, I realise how I could have made this decision as captain. He loves, supports and cherishes me. He will keep me strong when the darkness comes. Together we will be triumphant.

I believe him. I believe in us. Knowing that I have been brave once, I can do it again. I smile my love at him as I step into his arms. It feels so right. We belong.

And when he kisses my forehead, not quite lover, not quite friend the die is cast. I lift my head to take that gentle kiss on my lips.

His lips are soft and delicate, pressing against them they give slightly, and in the gentle kisses we give and receive there is a slow crescendo of shared passion. I pull back to smile up at him. Surprised, delighted and in love. The universe is as I left it, but everything is changed.

I press into him a bit more, his arms tighten around me as I run one hand through the hair at his nape, enjoying the silken feel as it runs through my fingers. Our lips start to part slightly with the kisses. We both are enjoying this moment of surrender too much to hurry it.

We have plenty of time.

I move one hand to slip under his clothing to press against his heart and pull away to smile again.

'Mine' I murmur. 'Always' he answers. This time when we resume our kiss it starts to have some urgency to it, and his tongue is soon delightfully plundering my mouth, and I kiss him back as if my life depends on it. O gods! Do I kiss back!

When we pause, I think that both of us recognise that whatever has gone before in our unremembered past, this is a transition to cherish. This is our moment, even if again. I am not sure what flight of fancy catches me, but as his kisses move towards my neck and I unzip his jacket, I repeat our marriage vows.

'I, Kathryn Janeway, take thee Chakotay to be my wedded husband'

He pauses to give me a smile of such power that i know that this is right.

He unzips my jacket and is surprised by the torn shirt and tee, I had presumed this was part of his medical triage. 'Maybe we were interrupted in something' I grin cheekily at him.

'then let's make sure we are not interrupted again!' and he bends his lips to take my neck and work along my clavicle. I am in heaven.

The commbadge translates his words for me

'let the spirits take note that I choose this woman Kathryn Janeway' and we interweave

'to have and to hold from this day forward' I removed his jacket and he pauses to let me slip his shirt and tee off.

'I will walk faithfully by her side through the circle of life' and I am overwhelmed by the beauty of him, his smooth chest, the defined muscles and I kiss along them

'for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health'

'I will share her burdens and allow her to share mine, cherishing our similarities and our differences'

He is trailing his lips down my cleavage, and his hands are gently massaging my ass, though I need little encouragement to be closer in his arms. I kiss his cheek, his ear, stroking his spine.

'to love and to cherish, till death us do part'

'be witness to our joining, bless us with fecundity and give us strength in each other until the end of days'

We are undulating against each other, his hardness driving me with desire.

I take his hand and lead him towards the small cot at the back of the shuttle.

'with this vow, I thee wed, Chakotay, and with my body I thee worship. Let no person tear us asunder'

He stops and pulls me into his arms for the most ferociously passionate kiss of my life, and then lifts me up and strides towards the bed, a man possessed.

-0-0-0-Chakotay-0-0-0-

I have her at last in my arms, lazily kissing her over and over whilst repeating how much I love her. Our coming together was everything I had ever hoped and more. It was joyous and yet had a touch of the divine. It was a passionate, no holds barred race to fulfilment. We both yelled our delight to the universe, and then , after that initial crescendo, a full investigation of each other, what made us smile, laugh and groan with desire.

I don't think that I have ever felt as fully loved. From the enormous smirk of contentment from Kathryn, I think this is mutual. Her hands have started a gentle curve on my thigh, a mobius loop. We are together now for all eternity.

'In the eyes of my tribe we are definitely married now, Kathryn. We both said our vows, I asked the spirits to view and bless, and then you most definitely invited me into your bed!'

'and they are going to give us children, I believe I heard?' She grins up at me.

'if we can make that work, it would be a blessing indeed Kathryn. I only need you though, and you are Captain of Voyager first, my wife, love, hearts desire and soul mate second whilst this journey lasts. I understand that.'

'I love you' is her only answer, as she starts to move against me again. I cannot believe that I am stiffening again so soon with her ministrations. 'So what would be your pleasure, husband' she murmurs, her eyes alight with desire.

My pleasure, my pleasure is living in this moment, in lifting Kathryn onto me, gently letting her sink onto my eager cock, sliding slowly over me, subsuming me. I catch my breath, as she does too. I am fully sheathed in Kathryn, we are both still, adjusting, sensing, my arms close around her as hers are around me. Forehead rests upon forehead and I ask the spirit of my father again to bless our union although I feel this blessing already.

'this, Kathryn, this gives me pleasure' and I place a gentle kiss on her lips which naturally deepens, and our bodies start to slowly undulate. Kathryn shows me just how those hip swirling movements can give slow burn pleasure to both of us, the gyration and slight elevation providing exquisite sensations, and that her muscle control is not limited to those used in tactics.

Although I have always thought that in making love, it has been my gift to give a woman, the gift of pleasure, here it is clearly Kathryn's. Her gift of love, desire, controlled tension building. gradually her movements become less restrained, and the control required by both of us to continue this slowburn explosion becomes harder and harder to maintain. the tantric experience is enhanced by the gentle flutter of her hands around me, finding the most sensitive areas, and her gentle kisses and whispered endearments. This is very truly my pleasure.

'I can't hold on much longer, Chakotay' she breathes out. I realise I want to spend all my future nights sharing this pleasure. I increase my pressure too, thrusting in synchronicity with her complex movements, and as passion reclaims us I find that my whispered words are shouts, that my force is such that we finally overbalance and our lovemaking explodes into passionate wildness, racing to our combined climax.

The force of it hits me that even with shouting her name to the spirits, and hearing mine torn from her I still feel that for a portion of time I have floated free from earthly constraints and our souls have intertwined. I feel that when i rejoin my body, slumping down beside her with declarations of love, that a portion of me now resides within her, and that with me, I will always have a portion of her soul. Holding her small frame against me, all I can do is breathe until my heart rate slows.

She recovers more quickly and quips chirpily 'well that, Chakotay, was the transcendent version' and she is there laughing in my arms. 'I am sorry, it is just that i am so very happy' and despite the gravity and wonder of our lovemaking, I find i am laughing with her.

There is a whisper of concern though, that I can't ignore. Given that she has always accepted my tribal responsibilities, I wonder why she doesn't wear my tattoo. A warning flares from my subconscious, and I am determined to ignore it. Kathryn is the wife of my heart, soul, mind and now body.

I cannot have been unfaithful to this love.

I am an honourable man.

She has seen my frown though. 'Chakotay?' comes her query, and although I try to shrug it off, she is persistent.

'I just wonder why you didn't choose to wear my tattoo?' It doesn't really matter' but I can see from her face that it does, it matters to both of us, for the here and now, and also for the unknown past. We have both made assumptions based on our desires rather than facts. I see her face firm.

'tell me, Chakotay, where should it be? Please tell me not my face! I could never carry it off like you do'.

I grin as I roll her back onto the bed, pushing doubts to the dimmest recesses. 'there are some traditional places, let me show you' and I nuzzle along her collar bone. 'here is one' I kiss my way down to the inside of her wrist, 'here is another' she is giggling as I make my way back up her arm, pausing at her clavicle again before descending very slowly, trailing kisses between her breasts, down to her umbilicus and only then deviating across to rest in front of her hip. 'there too huh?' she gasps as I kiss and nuzzle the area before turning her over and kissing just between the dimples on her lower back. 'Here too dearest' and I also kiss her thigh and stroke her ankle.

'Do it!' She says determinedly 'before I change my mind!'

Jumping out of bed she is business efficiency whilst she pulls on panties and trousers, still sticky from our combined juices. She replicates a fresh tee for her as she shrugs herself back into clothes, and a tattoo imprinter for me.

I am slower rising up from our haven of marital bliss. A part of me I wish to never listen to alerts me that this might be our last moments of such innocence. A hand on hip Janeway imperiousness has my rising from habit, shrugging into my clothes. This urgency worries me too. I think that perhaps she is also not sure that the choice we have made now is the one we have made in our forgotten past.

Shrugging her pants to her hips she bends over a consul 'here! now!' she demands and I cannot resist curling my arms around her and pressing against her whilst kissing her neck.

'Chakotay! later!' and I give in. The husband has the choice over what design the tattoo may take. It is usually chosen following a joint spirit walk and discussion, but somehow I know, it is as if I have always known. I ink the spirals of the Chamusay sign with reversed lines to reference our journey too and from the delta quadrant, as I have faith in our return. They are extended too, and something about the more elliptical look and the protruding lines references the shape of Voyager as well, twined through our love and marriage.

I am just admiring it and placing a kiss on the reddened tissues when I hear an unexpected noise behind us.

-0-0-0-Janeway-0-0-0-

I whirl around as I hear the noise and feel Chakotay still.

Behind us is some new hibrid Borg variant the like I have never heard of or clearly seen. She holds a silver triangular weapon in one hand and stretches out her other clearly covered in Borg tracery with nanoprobe tubules towards Chakotay.

'Desist immediately! He is Mine!'

And as she strides towards us, I grab the phaser from the side of the consul and shoot. Damn it is on stun.

'Chakotay!' I warn whilst holding the phaser and moving forwards. He strides and kicks the triangular object out of her relaxed hands. It springs to life as our EMH, drawing our attention.

'What is the nature of the medical emergency?' and then with a cry 'Seven!'

My eyes go back to the drone, and notice what they had failed to see before. She wears a gold band to match that on Chakotay's hand.

Even as the Doctor calls for a beam out I am losing reality, falling into blackness.

-0-0-0-0-

Reviews would be a kindness! One further proper chapter and an epilogue.