The concentration of the young woman disappeared after an hour. She composed a new song without even thinking about it and it sounded really good. When the room was silent again, she could hear a crying voice right next to her door. She was right, after focusing a little, she could tell that PB was crying against her door. Maybe she just wanted to sorrow herself and fell asleep while the rock-star was in her own universe.

She felt guilty, so she took her in her arms and let her on her bed. It was right that Marceline was furious with her, but she just couldn't leave her lying on the cold floor. It was all her fault, she never changed.

«I'm sorry, Bonnie. I don't know why, but I always end up causing you a lot of trouble and making you feel like a piece of shit. Sorry, I really don't know what's on my mind when I talk to you, as well as I know that this isn't a proper apology. I'm just a troublemaker, just like then… You were right, I haven't changed at all. You make me feel like time had never passed by and I'm wrong, you and I haven't anything anymore. Rest well, my beloved princess…» thought for herself, while crossing her beautiful face with her fingertips and enjoying the feel of skin to skin that she had almost forgotten.

A week had passed since that incident and everything had settled down. Marceline was focused on her new future musical hits and working out in the private gym of the pink-haired. Bonnie took advantage of the fact that they were living «together», asking her question and taking pictures of her, to complete the interview.

Not always they got along, they had to argue once a day at least for being themselves. They shouted, cried and fell asleep while thinking on each other. The past remained there, that was the culprit of their arguments and, at the same time, was the only thing that had brought them to their actual position. When would all explode?

That inflection point happened earlier than they had thought, Marceline received a letter signed by her manager, saying that she was fired. They didn't want a lesbian/bi singer who loved creating chaos with her actions, or at least, that's what the letter said. With the time, she had learnt to read between lines and the true reason that she was fired was that she wasn't a marionette, she had a critical spirit, she was the liberty incarnated and they didn't like that.

In those moments of solitude, despair, and fury. She just found comfort on alcohol. She had been clean for more than three years and fell into her addiction again. The taste of the alcohol running down her throat felt amazing and as necessary as breathing. She started to drink wanting to forget about everything and everyone. Why she couldn't just be herself?!

«What's that feeling? It's supposed, in these moments that I've to be angry, overtaken, sad… But I really don't feel anything. I'm empty and broken, I have a hole where my heart should be.» Those were her thoughts, that was the only thing that she could think about while emptying a bottle after another. She had lost the count of the number.

She starting writing the lyrics of one of her favourite songs, mixing with her personal experience.

«I just need some time to think straight, I just need a moment in my own space. Ask me how I'm doin' I'll say okay, but it ain't what we all say?!

Sometimes I used to think 'bout the old days, back when my mamma used to hold me… I wish somebody would've told me that if I wanted love, I'd have to go through the pain; if I wanted love, I'd have to learn how to change and if I wanted trust, I'd have to give some awhile. Why's society like that?!

I used to think that I controlled things, but now I think that things are what control me. Now I'm aware that I'm just one in a million of marionettes in this stupid society. I prefer going out of control before being another of the flock.

Look at me! Drinking without control again! I'm so sorry, I'm drinking to forget the reason for my tears, I'm so sorry for not being able to face reality. Maybe it'll be better if I end up here.

Know what, Bonnie? I'll say the truth now that my pride has disappeared. I love you, I've never ended up loving you and I hate myself for being unable to forget you! You've always been my only reason to keep moving forward, but at this moment, I think that you'll be completely fine without me. I love you more than the first day and I'll always love you, however, I need to finish this.

Honey, I'm sorry for making you lose your precious time. You've always been special in my heart and I promise you that, if I could go back time, I would never let you down or fall. I can't lie to you anymore, you're always on my mind, you're the last person that I think about before fall sleep, and the first person who appears on my mind. Sorry for all that I've done and for I pretend to do.

I think that you hate me, but I can't blame you. I'm a horrible person that doesn't deserve to live anymore. Please, remember that I love you, listen to my songs, they are all about you…

I'm so happy for meeting you. You're an amazing person, you're intelligent, clever, gorgeous, brave…»

It was a suicide letter, a letter that symbolized farewell, she had already had enough pain. If she wanted to get out of the way, she just had to keep drinking until she lost consciousness, but what prevented her from doing it?

When the young owner of the apartment returned and saw the state of everything, the empty bottles of alcohol and a note, turned pale. She read that note and her own tears flooded the paper, making the pretty and gothic lyrics of the singer almost illegible.

She released everything and ran, ran like she never had. Searched in all the rooms of the house, finding her in the bathroom surrounded by bottles, full bottles and her completely soaked by the icy water. She tried to stay awake at all costs, she hadn't been brave enough to end her life.

She hugged her, hugged herself so hard and so desperately that she didn't seem to be herself. She looked into her eyes and began to button her shirt fully unbuttoned and to dry his long, wet black hair. She didn't say anything, the words didn't come out, she focused on putting her half decent to take her to the hospital and have her stomach washed and left her in observation.

—Bonnie, you're the only one for me. Only you can rebuild me when I'm done pieces. Stay with me, you've been my reason for not going further.

In the silence of that room, only the sound of a blow could be heard. The princess had just hit the rocker with all her strength, leaving a reddish mark of her hand on her face.

—Why are you so selfish?! Have you stopped to think about all the people who would mourn your death? Have you ever thought about how I could feel when I saw the love of my life lying on the ground? I thought you said you left it?! Why are you doing this to me? Do you know something? Sorry! I am the one who must apologize for everything, I hurt you, I turned you away from me and then I returned to your life as if nothing had happened. I'm a monster, right? — Those words were shouts and revelations of the soul, I could not stop crying, trembling and hitting the brunette. She hugged her and buried her face in her chest, listening to the frantic beating of her heart, to lift her gaze and meet a broken-hearting face.

—Everything's over, Bonnie! They have fired me for everything! Because they could not control me at will! What will be of my life without music? Tell me! And never, never call yourself a monster, no one with a heart like yours would receive that terminology. I am the monster! I am a waste of society!

—What?!

—Read it for yourself. The letter's next to you.

—They're real sons of bitch, idiots and hateful! Nothing's over! They're wrong! They're losing a marvellous person! The Marcy I fell in love with would never give up! Find another record label and have them swallow their own words! Be yourself and don't let anyone influence your decisions. Be everything that I can't be!

Then they went to the nearest hospital and she stayed with her heart in her fist the whole process. Rereading, again and again, the words that the brunette had dedicated in that note. She no longer knew what colour her eyes were, they were so red and swollen that they hurt.

She could only cry and wish that everything went well. She didn't want to lose her too, not after everything they had lived together and to have said the truth.