CHAPTER IV

Zak landed back at the Jedi Temple a half hour later. His mind was racing. He couldn't concentrate on anything. He just wanted to get to his room, lay down, and go to sleep. Thats all he wanted. No...he would be lying to himself if he told himself thats all he wanted. He wanted Padme. He wanted to hold her in his arms. To kiss her beautiful lips. To caress her beautiful face. Zak smacked his own face. "Snap out of it you idiot! You don't have a chance with her. You're a Jedi," Zak whispered to himself as he walked through the Temple.

Zak walked into his room and closed the door behind him. He had a couple model ships scattered around the room. Other than that, the room was plain. Zak sighed and took his lightsaber off his belt and placed it on his nightstand. He removed his dark brown cloak and hung it on the hook by his door. Zak lied down on his bed and attempted to go to sleep, but to no avail. He lay there for twenty minutes trying to sleep, but all his attempts failed because every time he closed his eyes, he saw Padme. He sighed, sat up, and buried his face in his hands.

Not a moment later did he hear a knock at his door. Zak was surprised. He hadn't expected anyone this late. He looked at the clock next to his bed. It wasn't as late as he thought. It was only twenty-two hundred hours. He walked to the door and looked through the viewfinder. He pulled away from the viewfinder, shocked and surprised. It was Padme. What was she doing here? She knocked on the door again. Zak hesitated for a moment, and opened the door. He looked at Padme, who had a look of grave concern.

"Zak. I'm so sorry. I didn't expect him to call," Padme said.

"Its ok. I had to go anyway. Jedi business," Zak said.

"Zak come on. I know thats not true," Padme said.

"Alright its not true. But its getting late and-"

"Zak I have to know what you were going to tell me. I can't stand to see you so distracted. It tears me apart to..." Her voice broke and she began crying.

Zak was taken aback by this. He immediately moved her to the bed so she could sit. Zak began moving strands of hair away from her face.

"Zak, it tears me apart to see you not right. You're...you've been distant ever since I told you I was pregnant. Now please...tell me what is bothering you," Padme said.

Zak couldn't stand to see her like this. Then it happened. It was as if he was pushed into her. Their lips met. A surge of excitement went through him. His mind was totally on her and not on the Jedi Code at all. He didn't care. All he wanted to focus on was this moment he was now in. Kissing her.

After what seemed a lifetime, the kiss was broken. Zak couldn't believe what just happened. He just kissed the woman of his dreams. He pulled back further and waited whatever was to come. He half expected to be smacked across the face, but nothing happened. She was just looking into his emerald colored eyes. Zak looked at her. "Padme...I-"

"Shh. Don't speak," Padme said, placing her hand on his.

"Ok...but I do have to say this Padme: I'm in love with you. I know we can't be anything," Zak said, looking slightly disappointed.

Padme shook her head. "I know. I know you love me. And...as much as I hate to say it, I love Anakin too. We're married and I'm going to have his child."

Zak nodded. "I know. Thats why I didn't say anything. But...do you think that if things were different?"

Padme looked at Zak. "Maybe. Zak...I love you too, but listen."

But Zak didn't listen, instead, an urge had been growing inside him. The urge to kiss her again. He couldn't control it. His body just did it. Time seemed to stand still again. But it didn't last for long. This time, Padme was the one to break the kiss. "I'm sorry Zak. I love you, but we can't do this. I have to go," she said.

Zak looked at her. "You told me you wanted to know and now you do. How can you just shrug this off Padme?"

"Because...I love Anakin with all my heart. You knew this is how I'd react. Why are you so surprised?" She asked him sternly.

Zak stood up and faced her. "Because. I did what I thought would make you happy and told you. I couldn't help that I kissed you...both times. You can't tell me that you didn't feel something in those two kisses."

Padme shook her head, stood, and walked to the door. She turned and looked at Zak. "No Zak. I didn't feel anything. Don't bother coming for dinner tomorrow. I have a busy day." With that, she walked out and the door hissed closed behind her. When the door closed, she leaned her back against it and slid to the floor, crying. It hurt her to say those things to him. It was for the best though. She knew it. She loved Anakin. She hated herself now. She knew that deep down inside her, she loved Zak back.

Padme forced herself to stop crying, wiped her tears, and stood up. She walked off down the corridor and out of sight.

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Zak sat down on his bed. He stared at the door. She couldn't have meant what she said when she walked out the door could she? She had to have felt something. Zak felt very stupid now. He had spilled his guts to her, and been rejected. Zak lowered his head slightly. "Zak...you knew you couldn't have her. Not when she was with Anakin. She loves Anakin," he said out loud to himself. But if thats true...then was he so taken aback?

Zak finally somehow managed to fall asleep. But it was a restless sleep. He kept dreaming about Padme and how she had just rejected him.

He jolted awake the next morning. He looked around. Had last nights events actually happened? Yes. Zak looked at the spot where Padme had sat the previous night. Her shawl she was wearing was still on the edge of his bed.

He looked at it and only one thought entered his head and muttered it aloud. "I've ruined the friendship."