Buffoon... errr... Author's note: The character are completely OOC, but hey, it still gets. Hope you like it :D.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Everything belongs to WoTC, Bioware, and someone else... Well, with the exception of the fic perhaps.

Into the Underdark

(Otherwise known as "Mommy, where are my other Pampers?")

The last victim... err... henchwoman is Nathyrra Ka'antar. Suddenly, the messenger felt something heavy and stinky in his old pampers. He was going to the Underdark to search a DROW ASSASSIN!

Then, with the few magical tricks he had, he teleported to the Underdark. Unfortunately to him, he was near a colony of Mind Flayers. Their sticky tentacles started shaking in hunger, then, the entire colony went directly to him.

And they starved. The poor messenger was also poor in brain.

Then, the messenger used his elven grace to escape from the ugly octopuses-like creatures. And he tripped in a stone, making a stone avalanche fall to them. Thankfully, he was under a lot of Mind Flayers, receiving less hits.

The messenger went into a drow encampment, where there were many drow, hence the name of the place. The drow there were rather nice and went in little clothes, particularly the females, something that the messenger found pleasant to his sight. Then, he reached a temple of the goddess of the dance, moon, swords and other things, Eilistraee.

Then, he opened the door, and with the elven grace the messenger had, the door collapsed right into his head. "Sorry, I should have predicted that. I told you that we had to repair that Nathyrra" said a voice that loaded with the ages of the world, yet was at the same time melodic. "Yes, momma Seer" pouted another voice. Then, the messenger's eyes had a light. The last victim... err... henchwoman at last. He smiled gratefully. Soon, this would end.

But he felt another presence. A figure walked inside the room. It was intimidating, yet at the same time soft and gentle. Terrible and good. He was the Random Hero.

And to waste the last description with a crappy dialogue, the Random Hero said "Dear, where are my pants?".

Nathyrra scowled. "How the hell could I know where you put that?! Momma Seer" said the assassin, directing her to the woman with the silvery-white gown "Why did you tell me to marry him? He's so stupid and lazy and... and... random"

"Well, at least I don't live with my mother!" screamed the Random Hero. "No, you're living with your mother-in.-law!" screamed back Nathyrra.

The Seer couldn't bear it anymore. "SHUT BOTH OF UP!" she bellowed. Then, she magically calmed down and said to Nathyrra "Dear, please let our cousin elf finish her... errr... his talk. And you" she looked at the random hero and handled him his pants "You must be lucky. A yoclolth was about to eat it in the outside of the rebel camp. Now cover your random underwear"

The Random Hero nodded gratefully at the Seer. And then he put his pants.

"Well, now please read this, lady Nathyrra" said the messenger, handling a note to the assassin:

Dear Nathyrra:

You're invited to my tea party alongside with the other henchwomen who worked with the Random Hero. There shall be tea, of course, cookies and a cake. After that, we shall think what to do because the author doesn't want to make more spoilers than these of the letter.

Love, Linu La'neral.

"I won't go" said Nathyrra, making a desire burn inside the messenger: the desire of committing assassination to the assassin.

"Yes, you will" said the Seer, "Linu has been your friend from a long, long time. She was the one who resurrected you after your death at the hands of the drow of the Valsharess"

"But momma, I don't wanna...!" and then, the Seer's glare penetrated in the mage's soul. "Alright" she breathed.

"Yay! Nathyrra is gone!... ermm... I mean, Oh how sorry I am, my love, I-" said the Random Hero, and before he could complete his sentence, Nathyrra took her poisoned dagger out of her hilt. The Random Hero became a Random Coward Wizard and left teleporting himself.

Then, she and the messenger, who was relieved his business there was over, went out of the Temple. Not without the Seer saying to the messenger that he should change his pampers. But anyway.

Then, they were ambushed by a group of Beholders. "DAMN!" screamed in unison Nathyrra and the messenger "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!".