Where Hoenheim really was…
(Pre-FMA)
It was "cowboy hat on the door night" at the Elric's house. (watch Meet the Fockers you'll understand) Trisha and Hoenheim were really really drunk…
"You know whose the prettiest gal I know?"
"who –hic-"
"Your mom, I'm jush teasin', you"
"-laughs- heh, hey Ho-ho, I jus remembered somethin'"
"Wass that?"
"I forgot to pick up twinkies for the boys lunches tomorrow, could you be a dear and pick some up now?"
"Sure thing hun –hic-"
"Oh and while your out, could you get some headlight fluid and elbow grease"
"Anything for you pudding"
And so the truth is, Hoenheim was locked in a grocery store for about 10 years, searching for Headlight fluid and elbow grease, the lesson here kiddies, is not to go grocery shopping unless you're sober.