Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
"Scrub, Scrub, Scrub. Scrub, Scrub, Scrub. Scrubbing is good for you." Naruto sang off key, as he skated down the soapy hallway.
Kaito sighed. Squad three had been there for hours mopping up the Academy floor, and Kaito was sick of having to do all this work.
At least it counted as a mission. Naruto had explained to them when they started that this was their first D-rank mission, and even if they had never bet on it, they would still be doing it.
"Wait, even if we had won we'd still be forced to clean this up?!" Kaito had asked, when Naruto had said that.
"Nope, had you guys managed to win, I would have done your mission for you and it would've counted as yours. But, since you didn't manage to come close to touching the bells, it doesn't really matter."
Naruto may have been a nice man at other times, but, right now, he was grating on Kaito's nerves. As Kaito was slaving away over one stubborn stain, Naruto was having the time of his life occupying himself with any and every thing imaginable. Gritting his teeth, he realized his jealousy was riling him up again. He just had to stay calm.
"Wooh!" Naruto did an electric slide all the way down the hallway, splashing soapy water all over Kaito. He just had to remain calm.
"Oh, sweet, I can slide down the walls too. Wooh!" More water splashed Kaito, but in his face this time. He just needed to stay calm.
"Now the other wall. Wooh!" Water drenched Kaito, again.
"Oh, now I'm gonna do the ceiling. Wooh!" Soaked for a fourth time, he groaned as he heard a crash.
"Oops. I was having so much fun; I forgot to concentrate for a second. Huh, oh well. Looks like you guys need to redo over here, though. It's all messy again." Calm. "This is boring. I'm gonna go find something cool to do. You guys stay here and don't kill each other. Don't forget after this hallway, you still have to do the Eastern and Main hallways. See ya." Naruto disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Kaito lost it.
Reiji sighed as sweet silence reigned once more. Kaito had had a little temper tantrum, kicking thewater buckets, throwing the brushes, yelling, screaming and cursing at the world in general. Reiji couldn't take it any more – and Lola had stopped working to quiver in fear – so he knocked Kaito unconscious.
"Get back to work, Lola. I'm not doing all of this myself."
"Sorry, Reiji." Lola paused for a second and gulped, working up the courage to tell him something. "You shouldn't have done that. We could've just talked to him."
Reiji chuckled. "Maybe we could've, but my way was infinitely more fun." He responded, before snapping at the girl. "Now stop talking and work. I don't want to be here any longer than necessary with you losers."
The two toiled in silence, concentrating solely on their task. Around ten or twenty minutes had passed before Kaito woke up. Groaning, he hoisted himself upright. Watching the other two hard at work, he sighed grabbed his brush and joined them silently. Though Kaito appeared calm, he was seething within – a fuse ready to blow.
Watching the clouds, Shikamaru sighed contentedly. Life could get no better for him. Reaching over to grab some orange soda, he found that the bottle was empty. How troublesome. This always happens, Shikamaru thought, sighing. Never bringing enough drinks to last his entire cloud watching session interrupted it every time. He needed to find a way to get refills without spoiling his relaxed mood.
"Lord Kazekage, sir."
"Yes, Baki, what is it?" An annoyed voice responded.
"It's the twins. They're on a rampage again."
Gaara groaned. Those little monsters were up to it again. The nine-year-old twins were the bane of his existence. Kimimaro was a much more desirable opponent than these creatures. Even Naruto's energy paled compared to those… things.
"GAARA!"
He took that back. No one could out-annoy Naruto.
"What is it Naruto? What are you even doing in Suna? Wait hold on a second. Baki deal with them." Seeing Baki was about to retort. "I have very important…Kazekage things to do, so I'm afraid I can't deal with this at the moment. Go get Temari. She's their mother, so she should have to deal with them." When Baki saluted and left – never dropping his scowl – Gaara turned to face the blond pest.
"How did you get here?"
"It's only twenty minutes for a super fast ninja, like myself."
"What are you doing here, anyway?"
"Nothing really, I'm just checking up on my favorite Kazekage." Naruto said with his hands in his pockets, gazing at some speck on the floor that he was kicking with his shoe.
"You're going to try and pester me for missions aren't you? I told you last time the leader of SUNA cannot give missions to a ninja from KONOHA. At least, not without the Hokage's permission – which I doubt you have or you wouldn't be here. Now, go away I…" Gaara stopped. He could not believe he hadn't thought of that before. Now, he could kill two birds with one stone. Gaara smirked. "Actually there is something you could do for me."
"Really?" Naruto perking up. Naruto crouched down about to spring in the air and shout 'yeah!'
"No jumping in my office."
Naruto froze in mid take-off. "So what is it? A super, cool, S-ranked mission?" Naruto asked stars forming in his eyes, and drool staring to flow as he got right in Gaara's face.
"Umm…yeah. This is super, cool mission is so dangerous it's unranked. In addition, this will be kept off the records. Meaning you're not getting paid. First, find Baki and tell him that I sent you to relieve him. He will explain your mission to you. Now, go." Before Gaara even finished speaking, Naruto was gone. Gaara smirked. He did not know who would win this one, but either way he would have one less nuisance.
Gaara chuckled. As much as he pretended that Naruto annoyed him, they were close friends. However, he really did have work to do and could not have any distractions, at the moment.
"All right kiddies, C'mere." Kiba yelled to his team. "We got our first mission. You guys are gonna wash the Hokage's faces. Two hours is all I'm giving you, so it better be done by then."
Three simultaneous groans could be heard by Kiba. Smirking, Kiba continued. "You think that's bad, you just wait. I'll give you guys six to eight hours of sleep a night. Then, all time that you are not sleeping or on missions will be spent training non-stop with me. You will have at least two, thirty-minute meals, sometimes three if we have extra time." Kiba checked his watch. "Better hurry up; It's only one hour and fifty seven minutes, now."
Scrambling to leave, Fuji, Saru and Tae sped off to complete their mission.
I'm not going to prove you wrong Ibiki. These kids are not going to die; I won't let them, Kiba thought walking slowly after his team.
"Hey there Baki. You're the one giving me my mission briefing, right?" Naruto asked the Sand Jonin.
"What?" Baki asked, refusing to give into false hope.
"Gaara said I was to relieve you or something." Naruto said off-handedly.
Staring into the heavens Baki, prayed. "Thank God." Returning to the business at hand, Baki became professional once again. "All right kid, we have a special matter we need you to deal with. It requires a lot of subtlety. Think you can handle that?"
"Of course. I am mister tact. Nothing gets by me." Grinning from ear to ear, Naruto couldn't wait to start on his cool new mission.
"Good. We need you to deal with some miniature monsters."
Jumping into the air with excitement, Naruto yelled out. "Monsters?! That's so cool! Lemme at 'em!"
"However," Baki continued, ignoring the jumping blonde. "No harm whatsoever, can be imposed upon these child monsters or else you'll have to deal with an angry Mommy monster. Not fun, Naruto; not fun."
"Baki, did you just call me a monster?" A dark, feminine voice asked Baki behind him.
Shaking his head vigorously, Baki answered. "No, I didn't. I said…uh…fun…ster. Yeah! There mom is a funster, because she's so full of fun!" Temari did not believe him, but looked amused enough to let it past.
Naruto, however, would not. "Wait, Baki. I thought you said monster."
"No, Naruto." Baki said gritting his teeth. "I said FUNSTER." Baki hoped the blonde man would catch his tone.
"Oh. OH! I get it. Yeah, Temari, he said Funster." Naruto said grinning hugely and winking in Baki's direction.
Is this kid really that dense? Or does he only pretend to be stupid to annoy everyone around him? I guess it would be fun. Temari thought.
"You wanted to see me, Baki?" Temari said, returning to the earlier topic.
"Yes, you're twins are at it again. Lord Kazekage wants us to deal with them."
"Oh they're so cute. I'm gonna go see if those two are having fun. Bye Baki."
Baki sighed. "This always happens. We try to get her to help—since she's the only one they listen to—but she just goes to see 'if they're having fun.'"
"I thought you said I was fighting actual monsters. These are just kids." Naruto pouted, feeling ripped off.
"They may look like normal nine-year olds, but these things are the worst monsters I've ever seen. Don't let the giggling fool you; they're evil. There two blocks west; your mission is to stop the chaos." With his final words, Baki disappeared, leaving a confused Naruto.
"Kaito, what the hell are you doing?" Reiji asked, his voice dripping with venom.
"Cleaning the glass." Kaito replied, not looking up.
"You've scrubbed the same spot for ten minutes. Are you retarded or do you just love cleaning that much? You know, you should quit being a ninja and be a housewife."
"That's gross dude. Imagining me as your gay 'housewife'? I always knew you were a queer. Maybe you're actually a woman, that'd explain why you've got such long hair." Kaito threw back at Reiji, his fusing shortening.
"Kaito, Reiji, you two shouldn't fight like this--" Lola tried to intervene before things got ugly.
"Shut up, Lola. I'm just going to show Kaito how of a man I really am." Reiji grinned evilly at Kaito.
Iruka had been grading papers in the Academy for a while. Yawning, he looked up. This is so boring, he thought. I suppose I can take a little break. Naruto is watching his team so nothing should happen. Iruka ran out the door, hoping to get a table at a restaurant before the lunch crowd hit.
Roaring Kaito threw himself at Reiji, hoping to wipe that infuriating smirk off his face once and for all.
I'm not anti-gay or a homophobe, but most straight guys do not like being called gay, so Reiji would definitely take that as an insult.
Some of you may have noticed the chapters getting shorter. That is because I'm running out of ideas. I know where it will go eventually, but I need to show a lot of time between then. If you have ideas of what you want to happen, PLEASE review and tell me.
Also, I need a Mary Sue check. Tell me about the OC's in this story. Are they Mary Sues? Jerks? Annoying? Each character needs character flaws—and lots of them. If you feel a certain character does not have enough tell me.