"We've reached the place of no return Spike"

"Funny, it looks like a bathroom to me"

"Much worse, it's a girls bathroom."

"Uh huh"

"And we are about to tamper with the most sacred of objects"

"Looks like face paint to me"

"We've got frogs in Willows room and crickets in Buffys closet, that was bad enough, but if they ever find out about the habanero juice in the bottles of foundation we're dead men"

"Too late for me pet"

"Funny vampire, don't forget to shake up the bottle."

"We'd best stop at Willie's on the way out of town, let em know the girls'll be on a rampage later…let em get the pacifists out of the way."

"Let em know where to mail copies of the photos?"

:::snicker:::

"Photos nothing doing, I want videotape"

"That is a truly evil look Spike."

Spike preened under the compliment, "I know"

1 hr later

"We can't run over the sign Spike"

"Why not?"

"They reinforced it with concrete and rebar last time you ran it down."

"Sod it"

"Here use this instead"

"A cellphone? What the hell is a cellphone going to do?"

"Look in the rearview and dial 555-5555."

Spike shrugs and hits the buttons while looking at the slowly disappearing sign in the rearview when he hits send…….BOOM!

"Buggerin Hell!"

"I thought you'd like it."

Thud, thud, thabibble.

"Hm, some of those pieces went further than I thought"

Scene Break

5 days (and nights). "Your turn to drive fangless."

18 big gulps, "Mountain Dew is God"

10 burger joints (Taco Bell was SO not going to happen on this trip)

5 diners, "I don't want to see another burger until, well tomorrow at the earliest"

37 vampires "You are not allowed to get out of the van after dark unless I get out first to kill the beasties you attract."

0 travel games, "I am not playing sodding kiddie games with you Xan."

16 AA batteries for the Gameboy, "If I hear one more bleep or boop I'm drowning out the noise with Hank Williams Spike"

1 jumbo bottle of pink stomach stuff , "I told you the breakfast sandwich from the Hess station was a bad idea pet"

1 continuing debate of major proportions "Twinkies" "HoHo's" "Twinkies" "Hoho's" "Twinkies" ………

And 47 rest stops later, "How many Big Gulps did you drink today whelp?"

They arrived in the great state of New York.

"Wake up pet we're almost there"

Xander rubs his eyes and stretches till his back pops. "I gotta tell ya Spike I'm looking forward to getting away from the supernatural stuff for a while. I know we'll continue patrolling but we won't have to mess with the research or the big stuff for a little while anyways."

Xander blinks a couple times, "I just jinxed us didn't I"

"Yes pet"

"Well at least an exterminator can't have too much business with the paranormal, right?"

Spike pulls the van up outside a firehouse that has seen better days.

The guys unload from the van and look up at the front of the building.

They take one look at the sign, sees the ghost with a line through it and Xander starts banging his head against the side of the van while Spike laughs at him.

"Only you pet. Only you"

AN: Sorry folks. The plot bunny has died. I can't seem to go any further with this at the moment. If you're interested in adopting it please drop me a line.