Oh boy. I know where this thing is going. But I'm as yet unsure how to get there. So feel free to drop crack ideas in your reviews.
I'm so gonna regret this tomorrow. And you get no guarentees whatsoever. I have no control over what my brain latches on to.
"Oi, where're we going?"
"DAD! WHERE ARE-"
"You'll see when we get there!"
Ichigo's sense of dread continues to grow as Isshin drags him down the street.
"Here we are!"
Isshin stops infront of a rather large house and bangs on the front door.
"Ryuu-chan! Open up, Ryuu-chaaan!"
After a couple of very obnoxious minutes, the door opens.
"Ishida?!"
"Kurosaki? What are you doing here?"
"You must be Ryuu-chan's son! You're so-"
"Would you just SHUT UP?!"
As Ichigo continues taking out his anger on Isshin, Ryuuken appears behind Uryuu at the door.
"What are you doing here, Kurosaki?"
"Don't be so formal, Ryuu-chan! Not when we're such good friends!"
Both Ishida's readjust their glasses.
"Get in and say what you came to say. Just stop making such a scene in front of my house."
They all enter the house. Isshin and Ryuuken leave Ichigo and Uryuu in the living room.
"So, uh... This is your house?"
"No. I'm just here for my monthly meeting with Ryuuken."
"Oh... Did you know our dads knew each other?"
"No."
"Do you know why my dad dragged me here and is talking with your dad?"
"Again, no."
"Do you have an escape plan?"
"What?"
"Some way we can get out of here real fast."
"There is the back door."
"What are you two chatting about? Sharing love poems?"
Isshin's face meets table lamp.
"What the hell's wrong with you?! How the hell do you know each other?! And why the fuck did you drag me over here?!"
"We know each other cuz we were roomies in med school!"
"Unfortuneately. Now, we're going to talk about recent events."
"What?"
"Your pregnancy, Ichigo!"
"Yes, this must be discussed."
"Why? Not like it's any of your guys' business!"
"It is too our business!"
"Yes, indeed."
"You have no right to say anything about my life."
"Yes, I do. I'm still your father."
"JUST GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!"
"Our grandchild!"
"Whut? Your- NO FUCKING WAY!!"
"I agree, this is ridiculous!"
"You should have thought about that before you used your gaze on him."
"He didn't believe me and told me to prove it!"
"And you just went and did it? If someone told you to-"
"THIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERNT!"
"Not really, Ishida."
"WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?!"
"The one that lets me get a fucking abortion!"
"There will be no such thing!"
"Get out of it, old man!"
"You're still only 16 and kid! What I say is law!"
"You're saying I'm still a kid?! Why I- ... So you're gonna make a kid have a baby?"
"That's not what I said!"
"Right. Why the hell do you both want a grandkid anyway?!"
"So I can be a grandpa!"
"... and you?"
"It is simple. My son is a complete disappointment. With a grandchild I may be able to shape a proper heir."
"Fuck you."
"That was rather unrefined."
"Screw you both! This is my decision!"
"But what about Uryuu-chan?"
"... well?"
"Abortion. Neither of us needs a kid. And neither of our fathers should be anywhere near an infant."
"See? It's settled."
"Nothing is settled. You two are still children. Thus, the decision still lies with us."
"No it doesn't! Ishida, remember what we were talking about earlier?"
"Yes. Count of three."
"One. Two. THREE!!"
Ichigo and Ishida threw what their hands could reach at the two adults and ran out the back door.
"Ow... Ryuu-chan, our children are so mean to their daddies..."
"Ryuu-chan?"
Isshin looks around to see what had happened to Ryuuken. And finds him still standing where he was, looking at where the two boys had fled.
"Ryuu-chan, are you ok?"
Isshin grabs Ryuuken and turns him around.
"It's not the end of the world. They're just kids."
Isshin shakes him a bit.
"Snap out of it!"
Instead, Ryuuken just looks at Isshin. And promptly passes out.
"Ryuu-chan! What's wrong? What happened? ...and where are your glasses?"
This is definitely one of the longer things I've written...