SO SORRY for the long wait, my muse is telling me to right mystery/suspense. Great for Timeless and a couple crossovers I never made public, but not great for anything else. Sorry.
-this is out of the time line. COMPETELY RANDOM. I repeat.
-COMPLETELY RANDOM. In more ways than one.-
-Danny has all the info he currently has in the show, not like the other chapters.-
-I told you, this is when inspiration hits.-
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-Disney's Addiction to PB&C!-
"I can fry your ass in half a dozen different ways. HAND OVER THE CHOCOLATE."
It's a normal day, and I'm sitting on my bed, listening to my MP3 player. Little figures run around in my head, singing the songs horribly and then getting hit by a mallet. I'm fourteen, I like destruction, pain, and big bombs. As the mythbusters put it, "Danny wants a big boom."
I'm listening to Tumbling Dice by Linda Rondstat whenI hear someone walking in the hall. I put down my MP3 and look, mom's bringing up a big bowl of something brown... brown, not good. I can already see brown chunks in it, YECH! I'm losing my appetite already... Hey wait, is that a piece of- Holy crud! REESES ICE CREAM!
In case none of you know, I am heavily addicted to Reeses. I adore Reeses. Reeses are my coffee. I have sneak Reeses from the cupboard on a bi-weekly basis! I once ate one of those jumbo size ten cup Reeses between commercial breaks while watching Nickleodeon, and you know how often those come. Dang money grubbing producers, I swear, sometimes there's more commercials than there is show.
I pick up the spoon, staring hungrily at what awaits me. Four scoops of choclate and peanut butter bliss. Of course, along with Reeses comes a mad sugar rush. When I say mad, I mean 'make Monty Python look like your school principle' mad. I know I'll be diabetic some day from this,but until then, REESES REIGN SUPREME! The key part of my sugar infused diet!
Let me introduce where my love of the succulent Peanut butter and chocolate came from. I was trick or treating with Sam and Tucker (this is the year we dressed up as super heroes), and Sam's mom wouldn't let her have chocolate. Something about a dentist appointment the next day.
Poor girl, it should be illegal to take away a kid's Halloween chocolate. You don't see us taking the adult's tax refunds! We work year round to brush our teeth in anticipation of joining cavities in the war on shiny teeth, and we deserve our independence day from the fluoride menace!
In any case, I got them, and ate one of the small, innocent, yellow wrapped peanut butter and chocolate bites. I was hooked, and ate the rest before I even got home. The Smiths never did find out why there was half a bug full of Reeses wrappers in their trash can...
Anyway, from that moment on, Reeses have been my food of choice. No cup is safe from the gnashing teeth of Danny Fenton! Never again!
Back in our time, mom just left the Reeses ice cream on my bed, telling me to chew. Yeah, right. A, how do you chew ice cream, and B, IT'S REESES! How can you stand to not eat it all at once? Every second it is not filling my mouth is a second lost!
I eat the bowl full, all four scoop and the three inches of whip cream on top, complete with five cherries. Talk about a sweet tooth, I know, I know... Suddenly, everything looks a little blurry. I have a horrible headache. However, I don't care. In fact, I get the random urge to start singing rock and roll.
So, I do. I grab my MP3player and start singing along. The first song is Don't Bring me down, so I hook a picture of Vlad up to the wall and start throwing darts at it while singing/yelling/making everyone in the tri-city area go temporarily deaf.
Right in the nose, haza! A dart up Vlad's nose, what fun that'd be! Maybe a poison dart or, covered in chloroform so I can take him out, muahaha! I start dancing around my room, singing "I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor-DON'T BRING ME DOWN!'
Of course, whenever the song says 'floor', I fall on the floor and point at the ceiling. Yes, Danny Fenton is officially on sugar high. ALLELUAH! THE HEAVENS OPEN AND THE ANGELS SING! I start stomping my fists and feet on the ground in tune to the music, the sound booming through the house.
My parents have gotten used to this, so they do nothing as I start belting out ELO while thumping on the floor. So are the actions of a fourteen year old super hero who just ate approximately 57 grams of sugar in under ten minutes. You have to love the fact my parents never make the connection between sugar and odd behavior. Or Danny Fenton and Phantom.
You know, thinking about it in a totally different mindset, I can't believe how obvious I made that. Thank goodness the radiation from the lab dropped everyone's IQ by twenty points. Except my sister, I think she's a brain sucking alien from another planet sent here to torture me by throwing psychology at my face and stopping me from doing anything 'dangerous'. A new wave comes, and I forget what i was just thinking.
I suddenly jump up and, tongue sticking out my mouth, do some bizarre mix of disco and oldies rock. Like the Beetles, except with a proper hair cut. I like their music, but that hair really needs a a vacation... Speaking of Beetles, I stick up my hands and do the peace symbol, singing now singing 'Bang a Gong' and doing jazz hands while still using the peace symbol. That is what Reeses do to me. Of course, at this moment, Sam comes in and watches me doing an air guitar. She watches for a moment, before joining in.
Yes, joining in, she's also doing air guitar while head banging nothing. However, she has no music. I think. Maybe we do have a mental connection, like everyone says. Everyone is convinced there is some mental connection between her, Tucker's, and my mind. I always thought we just thought alike, but maybe not...
I wonder what it would look solid, make strung out bubble gum, or a phone cord... Yes, I really am sugar high. However, I manage to look, and see she also has her MP3 on, great. Sam and I have the same songs, so we always know what the other's doing. well, most of the songs, she has 'The Rose', which I will NEVER listen to, and I have a song of my own she detests beyond belief. Her loss.
I listen to the MP3 click, and change files. Next up is the comedy section. Not many songs, but they're all great, especially on a peanut butter induced sugar high. Monty Python, Tom Lehrer, old fifties cartoon themes... all the stuff kids listen to and make fun of behind their parents backs. First up, 'We Will All Go Together When We Go." Yay, we're all going to get blown up by a bomb! Haza!
I loom toward Sam, who nods, and synchronizes her MP3 so we're on the same time table. Sam and I start saying the lyrics and tune, known by heart. We were bored during spring break and took the time to memorize our favorite songs.
The music starts, and we begin to gesture to each other as the sing goes along. This song was simply not made for standing still, it has too much energy... like I do. Thank you candy gods!
"When you attend funeral, it is sad think that sooner or-later, all you love will do the same, for you." we chant, pointing to each other while poking where our hearts are. We raise our eyes and arms, like you do when you see something you want.
"and you may have thought it tragic, not to mention other adjec-tives to think of all the weeping they will do, but don't you worry..."we join in, waving our fingers at the end like you do while saying 'on the contrary' or otherwise debating. We have this song down pat, so really, we can do all the movements together, sane or not.
"No more ashes no more sack cloth, and an armband made of black, will some day never more adorn a sleeve-" we throw up our hands, yelling really loudly. We hook our arms and start running in a circle. I'll bet you anything she's sugar high too, she never touches someone while dancing. It just doesn't happen. Never going to after this, neither.
"for if the bomb that drops on you, gets your friends and neighbors too, there'll be nobody left behind to grieve-" we say while before our hands around like gesturing to everything, and waving them around like a windmill. We hit each other and fall on our behinds, landing on the floor. We get up giggling, and start singing again. Reeses can do cruel things to you.
"and we will all go together when we go!
what a comforting fact that is to know!
Universal bereavement, an inspiring achievement
Yes we all will go together when we go!"
We sing horribly off key, throwing ourselves like a person does into a mosh pit onto my bed, both with wide eyes and our tongues sticking out.
I'll stop writing lyrics. Probably ticking you off behind that screen, anyway. You can look the lyrics up, why would you want me to tell them to you while I'm dancing with my best friend? I probably got some of the words wrong anyway, I can't spell for garbage. Especially not after anything Reeses related.
Anyway, we went on like that for all 3:29 of it. Tom Lehrer sings can do that to you. So nuts they make nuts people feel not nuts and do doubly nuts things. I just confused myself beyond reason, so carry on, carry on. Don't mind the twitching youth in front of you. He won't bite. unless you happen to be made of Reeses peanut butter. Then all bets are off.
Suddenly, I hear scuffling emanating from the corner of the room. Emanating? I should have Reeses before my next vocabulary test, maybe I'll finally pass! Yes, these things do have a positive side besides bliss!
Still sugar high, I start clapping along with the scracthing. Stupid, stupid me. You never clap along to the mysterious scuffling, you head toward it and scream your ass off when you find out what it is! It's tradition and necessary for the universe to continue as we know it! The cliches are what keep the world together,like duct tape!
Realizing my mistake, I hastily run over and jump at the corner where the scuffling is coming from. I see nothing, and tap my foot for no reason. Then, I look down and see a mouse. Of course, taking the sign from above as my cue, I start yelling, "MOUSE! MOUSE! GET IT AWAY!" while blasting at it with my ghostray. Sam is definitely sugar high, she's not stopping me!
I miss, and the mouse starts approaching me, before jumping onto my leg. I can't help it, I scream louder. As if wanting to torture me, which I wouldn't doubt, it digs into my pants. I yelp, and it starts climbing up my leg. I start screaming, but my parents think I'm singing to a song. You have to love attentive parenting.
Probably the only reason they haven't figured out I've been half way dead for over half a year... Once again. Danny Fenton, Danny Phantom? I disappear when he comes, and he disappears when I come back? The guy I look exactly like except with black hair and blue eyes instead of white and green? The guy who came when I got zapped by so much electricity it should have killed me?
Moving on, the mouse now begins to crawl up my pants lef, rising. I shake them, but it holds on, scratching at my poor leggies. Yes, leggies. I'M SUGAR HIGH FOR PETE'S SAKE! WHAT MORE CAN YOU EXPECT!
Losing all logic, I start hitting my leg against the table. Sam is listening to her MP3 really loud and doesn't notice a thing. Great, she'll go deaf if she keeps that up. I wonder what it'd be like with same being deaf... Probably a world of hurt for us if she can't lip read. Who knows what she could get out of my mouth if she reads it wrong...
A bruise now forming on my shin, I give up and have a revelation-pull up my pants leg! Then I can find the critter and flick it off to kingdom come! I fold it up, and see the little critter doing something... Aw great, it wizzed on my leg! ACK! I know a mouse is constantly doing that, but still, gross!
I flick the little creature off to zap later. It'll be a deep fried mouse burger by the time I'm done, no animal leaves it's waste on Danny Fenton and gets away with it! However, that is for later.
I run to get a towel to wipe up the mouse... drippings. I start rubbing, but the smell won't go away! I try to scrub it off with soap, but no dice. My sugar starting to drain, my headache comes back... With a vengeance. Owe! Ow! I think I'm being split open! It feels like I got caught in the Fenton portal all over again! WHY, REESES, HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME! I gave you what you wanted, why do you forsake my love of you and exploit it!
Well, I can't talk, I do the same thing to Tucker... But still! That's different! Somehow, it is completely different and I am in no way a hypocrite! Hypocrite? I'm turning into Jazz! LORD HELP ME!
I start running in circles, as if that will make the pain stop, and rid my poor, poor head of the thought of becoming Jazz. She isn't human I tell you! SHE'S NOT HUMAN! Okay, So the sugar isn't completely out of my system yet...
I run around for a long time, before I finally run out of energy and pass out on the sink. I see my reflection, and the last thought that came to mind was, "What the heck? Where'd that green swirly stuff come from?"...I later found out it was tooth paste I smeared on the mirror while running around, so don't bother asking.
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When I wake up, I'm sitting in my bed, with 'poisoning pigeons in the park' playing. This is the only song Sam doesn't have on her MP3 that I do, she hates that I listen to it. Her loss, it's catchy!
I look around the room, seeing my mom in the hallway. I call out, and she comes in with the mom's special- chicken soup and orange juice. One thing normal about her...
She tells me how glad she is I'm okay, and then speaks the most unspeakable word in the world. NO REESES.
At once, I pass out again, moaning, "no, Reeses, come back..."
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In dedication to my addiction to Reeses. They are really my inspiration for writing random things, along with Star Bucks. With out them, this fic would not have been. So say thanks to the peanut butter cuplets!
Also, the songs listed are all on my MP3 player. Yay!