AN: If you have not read any of the other authors notes then at least read this one because if you do not you will not be able to read any more of my WONDEROUS FANFICTIONS!!!!!! Hence forth I shall be detaching myself from the Mabadachi trio and I will have MY OWN ACCOUNT! Exciting or what???

Anyway my new pen name is Georgiana1234 so look me up if you want to know more stalking reports. . .I mean stories about the Cullens. Cya

Present me: This isn't relevant either; I wonder why I haven't deleted it.

Chapter Six: Poor Bella

We have not heard from our unlikely heroin for some time but I am pleased to inform that she was still curled up in her ball of ignorance at the moment when Alice and Edward met just 4.256 meters above her. (How do I know this? Numerous stalking expeditions and a very short ruler shudder.) Bella stretched and unfurled herself forgetting, of course that she was in a vent. She promptly banged her head and twisted her ankle in a very unseemly position. Jasper heard her scream but did not attempt to rescue her for three reasons. Firstly he found it incredibly hard to be in an enclosed space with Bella and thought he might rip her apart. Secondly he was scared that he might run into Rosalie on the way which was a sensible worry as Rosalie was dangerously close to Bella. Thirdly Jasper was on his way out. He had had enough, he had decided to head up and out, heading for the roof, and freedom. Why didn't the other Cullens think of this? Well. . .Rosalie was still to angry to think straight, Bella was still sure that Edward was bound to rescue her sooner or later, Alice and Edward were still looking Bella and it had occurred to Emmett he just wasn't in the position to carry it out being wedged between two metal plates. Happy? What do you mean not really?

Anyway. . . Bella was tired of waiting and quite frankly rather hungry. She crawled out of the safety of her hiding place and into the path of a rampaging Rosalie.

"Oh hi Rosalie!" Bella said brightly. "This whole vent business I getting quite annoying isn't it?" Rosalie just glared at her and muttered something about an understatement.

"Whatever Bella." She finally said. "Just get out of my way!" she yelled and attempted to push past her in a bid for freedom. Unfortunately circumstances were once again on the vent's side and the two girls got firmly glued together. Oh dear! That is all I can say. Oh dear! Rosalie shoved Bella out of the way and Bella tumbled into a deep shaft. Unluckily for Bella there were no passages off this shaft so Bella once again curled herself up and closed her eyes chanting "Edward will save me." Under her breath. POOR BELLA.

Rosalie looked at me. "Poor Bella?" she screeched. "Poor Bella? I've had to put up with so much crap from you, you know that? My skirt, my husband and now that little. . ." Rosalie said something which I dare not type otherwise your ears might explode. "Stop writing in that stupid fing notebook" she yelled and grabbed the notebook from me and scrawled at the bottom:

POOR ROSALIE!!!!!!!!

And then the Author of this silly story spontaneously combusted, disappearing into thin air, never to see Edward stupid smile again.

"You know I'm not actually going to put that in Rosalie?" I raised an eyebrow at her (something I have only just learnt to do.) she made a rude gesture at me and flounced off. I followed her at a safe distance, careful to keep my narrating to a whisper.

"I can still here you!" she screamed. I sighed and turned to the dark shaft peering in. Poor Bella, I whispered and there was a giggle from down below.

And that was the end of the chapter (but not the story, no the author of this "silly story" has much more to tell you about Rosalie's dismal fate inside the VENT MWAHAHAHAHA)

AN: I just like to say that I did not actually spontaneously combust and disappear into thin air.