Part
the Second: Curiosity Killed the Cat
Disclaimer: Fe Fi Fo Fum- Inuyasha's lots of fun…Fo fi Fum Fe- but he don't belong to me
Ah yes the beginning, to dispense with further confusion that truly should be our starting point.
In the beginning there was the Way- the way that can be named is not the eternal Way. The naming of the Way is the progenitor of 1001 things…however that is neither here nor there. Leaping forward and jumping a continent brings us to a much more suitable starting point.
Miroku stood just slightly off a well-worn path leading from the old miko Kaede's village to the surrounding countryside. More importantly a path that lead to a certain hot spring- that if his calculations were correct, which they almost certainly were- would be occupied by another certain miko from the future.
'The future?' you might ask. Yes that's right the future- or rather the present- which from Miroku's perspective is the future- but in the time it takes you to read this will in fact be the past, the recent past (mind you) not the far distant past. Ah all cleared up now.
So on this day Miroku stood just off the path contemplating his options.
Having recently returned to the village Inuyasha had left to 'scout' the area for 'threats', though if the presence of Kikyou's soul collectors were any indication, 'scout' was probably more like kiss and 'threat' was probably more like Kikyou…though threat was still accurate by even the loosest of definitions. Miroku conceded that there was a possibility, slight, as it was, that nothing more occurred during these rendezvous then an exchange of information; though good old common sense dictated that if you were going to be sneaky then it was probably because there was something to hide.
Ah yes common sense…hot spring…self-preservation…hot spring…duty and honor… HOTSPRING… Miroku contemplated his options closely.
Sango instead of joining Kagome at the spring was off doing whatever Sango did when she was alone. Miroku had his suspicions about this as well, most theories revolved around honing her taijiya skills – possibly just her Miroku repelling skills. It was a mystery to be sure.
Ah mystery…hot spring…alluring….hot spring.
After all a young girl had no business out naked by herself in the woods. Certainly he would be remise in his duties as a monk, nay a man, not to mention a friend if he left Kagome-sama so helplessly to her own devises. Mind you Miroku had only the purest of intentions. Surely meditating shouting distance from the spring would be sufficient to ensure the miko's safety. Miroku was always one to go above and beyond the call of duty, how could he ever forgive himself should something happen while on his watch. It was decided quickly that he should discretely hide himself in the bushes to keep vigil.
So with a strong sense of 'duty and honor' Miroku proceeded onward towards the hot spring with his thoughts once again turning to the miko he expected to find there. Kagome really was a lovely soul, both inside and out, and deserved all the happiness that could be afforded any individual person. Her love and devotion to her friends and particularly to Inuyasha was nothing short of astonishing. Within the short time Miroku had been with the two he could see a definite and marked change in the surly hanyou's attitude. It was impossible not to see the bond that they shared in spite of certain 'flaws'.
Their story was something akin to fairytale love. Like Othello and Desdemona… Romeo and Juliet… Hamlet and Ophelia… errr hmmm.
Ok, granted those didn't really have happy endings. But you get the idea…truly impossible romance made possible…a love that transcended time.
That's possibly the reason that Miroku was so shocked by what happened. Not the only reason, actually probably not even the main reason. And shocked was really such an understatement- apoplectic with fury was doubtless a better summation of his reaction
Karmic retribution, blindness…oh blindness never seemed such a sweet alternative. Really though it was hard to imagine what past sins he was repaying to be visited by such misfortune
Ah but you are still confused, it's to be expected after all.
So Miroku having come to the conclusion that Kagome was in dire need of protection whilst she bathed strode down the well-worn path from the old miko's village into the surrounding forest, it was at this time that he heard 'it'. 'It' being noises from behind a grove of trees just to the right of the path he was traversing.
What kind of noises you ask? Well… you know… "noises".
"Ugnnnnn…" came a muffled moan on cue
That over there…
What? It's not like he could help that he was so innocently walking along, minding his own business, when he heard noises. You can't help that sort of thing.
You can't call a man a pervert just for hearing 'noises'. Miroku was highly misunderstood, it was the hand dammit, it had a mind of its own. Sigh.
Regardless Miroku had enough worldly experience, don't get the wrong idea- he's a monk after all, to be able to identify the sundry sounds, including the distinctive suppressed or muffles solo type that could qualify as 'noises'.
"Careful that hurts… ahhh."
Was not a phrase usually associated with the solo variety.
Had Shippou ever included Miroku in the pictures he so proudly displayed, most assuredly Miroku like Kagome would have been depicted as a cat.
"Mmmmm…"
NOW… hearing THAT in a relatively public place, Miroku's curiosity was piqued.
Assuredly you are thinking a regular person would and should have minded ones own business and kept on… but you have to admit it's not so cut and dry. Come on! That was just so careless. SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! Miroku had a moral obligation to fulfill here. Contrary to popular belief Miroku was very much against the corruption of innocent minds. So someone had to act as a lookout to make sure that never happened, right? Someone had to think of the children, the children…and wasn't it after all Miroku's duty as a monk.
All right…perhaps that wasn't the only reason. Perhaps recognition also played a roll. Miroku could have sworn he heard a 'keh' somewhere in that jumble of noises and really didn't that obligate him to investigate. But tell me, if you were in his position at that moment, would you find it easy to walk away from an opportunity to see their shocked and guilty faces upon realizing that they were caught?
"I…..sha…"
Hmph…I thought so.
Really Miroku could barely suppress his glee at the prospect of catching them in the act.
"…nnnn…"
"……"
Eh? Why did they stop? They can't be finished already. That's… so fast. Heh.Miroku couldn't help but smirk.
"Oh.Kami."
Miroku stopped at the sound of that. There was something in his tone that didn't quite sound right. Moving to a better vantage point Miroku could make out the familiar red hoari clad form slowly inching backwards, pale and wide-eyed in shock and looking nauseated. Even more shocking was the position he was backing away from; which, for all intents and purposes, appeared to land his head smack dab between his partner's legs. And for some reason, he genuinely looked ill. Miroku couldn't help but frown at that, "Inuyasha?"
Turning toward the sound of the monk's voice if it were even possible, he turned even paler.
"Oh…" His eyes glazing as he took a cautious step back.
Instinctively, Miroku, turned towards the frantic movements of his partner, still partially hidden from view. She fruitlessly arranged her kimono to once again cover the long expanse of her legs, which should have been a clue.
"Oh..." Was all Miroku could manage, in shock, upon realizing who it was.
'Oh' indeed, as if that wasn't the understatement of the year.
"Sango?"
She turned then with a look of shock and pain… and perhaps confusion. She opened her mouth as if to say…well something. She furrowed her brows as if searching for a hidden meaning looking first at a pale dazed Inuyasha and then at an equally pale Miroku, after a few moments seemed to grasp whatever it was she was searching for.
"Oh…" One beat of silence, two beats of silence, three…somewhere Henry Pinter was rolling over in his grave.
At this point, you could say Miroku's my mind went absolutely blank.
Just then two things happened simultaneously Inuyasha dropped to the ground in a dead faint and Miroku with barely suppressed fury fled into the forest.
The truth about cats, ladies and gentlemen, is they are inexplicably stupid.
"…damn."
Final thoughts from Kagome:
Ehhh, what'd I miss???
Next time: Part the third: You can't swing a dead cat…
A/N Next time join me for the brave conclusion. Also this chapter was in no way proofread- I'll get around to that soon.
Reader response:
- Please don't cry- the first part was suppose to be confusing- now I hope it makes more sense.
- Repetitive actions that Miroku might engage in that can cause carpal tunnel syndrome and umm blindness…that he might engage in multiple times of day…while fantasizing…prayer and meditation of course… Miroku:"I'm a monk after all."
Please review.