CHAPTER 16

The Clocktower looked different when the sun went down. The lights of Oracle's now-working computers, flashed and glowed creating an air of safety. The smell of fresh paint and wood filled the air threatening to take over the hint of tomatoes and oregano wafting through as a sauce simmered for dinner. There was hardly a trace of the disaster that had befallen the fortress just weeks earlier.

"Dinah? Dinner is almost ready." Barbara said softly through the slightly opened door as she had decided she was the best for the job of making things right with the youngest member of the team.

"Not hungry." Dinah had no intention of letting Barbara and Helena ruin her peace and quiet just as she reached the climax of the book she was reading.

Tossing possible scenarios back and forth in her head, Barbara decided on the Academy Award role of guilting Dinah into letting her in. "Oh…" a carefully placed hint of sadness in her voice, "…oh…o.k.…I just…", faltering ever so slightly, "…never mind…sorry to interrupt. Good night Dinah." She felt almost guilty herself as she sat, arms folded, outside the room, with no intention of leaving.

Several minutes passed and Barbara's patience were wearing thin. This made it official, there was very little left in her life she had control over.

Dinah read to the end of the page then marked her place and set the book down beside her. "Nothing is keeping me from Alfred's spaghetti! Besides, I have a few things left to say to those two", she mumbled to herself as she pulled on a pair of jeans and wrapped her hair into a ponytail. She opened the door and nearly tripped over Barbara.

"Me too", Barbara said quickly moving out of the way.

"You too? Who are you talking to Barbara?"

"You. I have a few things to say to you too." Barbara went into Dinah's room, hoping she would follow.

"There's no way you heard me…"

"I'm a teacher Dinah." Barbara smiled as she turned around. "Besides, your coms are on."

"Oh. Yah." Dinah sighed and slid down the wall and sat looking up at Barbara.

"Dinah. I need to apologize; for a lot of things. Despite the fact I could have done without being tossed twenty feet into the side of a car, it set in motion some … things that have been long time coming." Barbara paused thinking that a typically-compassionate and kind Dinah would have a comment; an innocent quip. No such luck!

"Uh…anyway…" Barbara continued…"You weren't around when this all started." She motioned around the room then down toward her legs. "I … um…I never really dealt with things. Long story short, I treated my injury, like a new address or getting a new job. I decided to ignore the fact that I couldn't walk and focus on becoming someone else; someone smart and strong and independent…I just…"

"Barbara?..."

"Right, sorry…the point is, these last few weeks I did all the dealing I've been putting off for 7 years so to speak. I felt helpless; like I let you down. Still, using the transponder today was wrong and selfish and I realized that the biggest way I've let you down was by not trusting you and Helena with the truth and not being who I truly am to you or to myself for that matter. For that, I am sorry." With that last bit of sentiment, Barbara gave a small smile, turned around, and left.

Again, finding herself without a sure reaction, Dinah jumped up and hurried after Barbara. "Hey! Wait up! Don't I get a chance to talk?"

"Uh. Yah. Sure I mean." Barbara turned, set her brake, and locked eyes with Dinah to insure that she was giving her full attention. What she really wanted to do was think up something pressing that needed her immediate attention knowing that this new openness was not at all the road the old Barbara would be taking….still, deep down it was; deep down where Barbara Gordon, new charge of Batman, eager and caring and full of energy, lived. She thought back to that girl and smiled up at Dinah.

Dinah again assumed her position on the floor feeling more comfortable giving Barbara the higher ground. "Barbara. Do you remember when I first came to you? I told you I had been having dreams of you and of Helena. Well, I wasn't really specific. I had been having them all of my life. Barbara, I saw you before you were shot. I saw you with Batman. When I had the dream of the Joker shooting you, it was almost like I knew you. That's why I had to come. Then, when I woke up on your couch after Helena knocked me out, it was like I was with friends. It was that and then immediately sad as I looked at what the Joker had done to you."

Not realizing the depth to which Dinah was going to go, Barbara found that she could no longer afford the girl the respect of keeping eye contact with her. She could only nervously run her fingers through her hair and focus on the floor.

Noticing Barbara's discomfort, Dinah broke and got up slowly walking toward the couch on the nearby balcony looking over the brain center of the Clocktower. She continued talking hoping Barbara would follow her. "Then, I watched in awe as you and Helena just went about life, saving New Gotham, teaching school, training, fighting. Thinking back, that first moment of sadness I felt for you was also the last. Your chair disappeared. All I saw, all I still see, is strength and amazing ability and compassion to care for others more than you do for yourself. That is until the hospital today. Today I was sad. Not yesterday, not when you were beaten up by that intruder, not after Harley invaded your fortress, I hurt for you, but I wasn't sad because I knew you'd come through it all. But when I saw you using the transponder in the parking lot and fighting with Helena, I was sad. It was like you were completely gone." This time when Dinah looked up, Barbara was beside her with her back to the couch looking out toward the familiarity of the Clocktower control panel.

"I'm not sure what to say Dinah. So much of what you said is true, but there is a lot you don't know." She turned again to face Dinah.

"I want to know." Dinah's eyes were sincere.

Barbara began to speak many of the same words she had shared with Helena earlier. It was a little easier with Dinah. Dinah had always been soft and honest and easy to talk to. Still, she couldn't help feel like a knight of sorts, proverbially falling off her white horse. "Don't get me wrong Dinah. I love being Oracle. I love the way I get to help people even if it is different than the way I worked as Batgirl. But this isn't about Oracle or Batgirl or Huntress, or the Clocktower. This is about Barbara Gordon. A young girl who was dealt a bad hand and played it all wrong. There wasn't even the typical 'push everyone away because I was hurt' response. It was just back to business. I can't do that anymore. It's the reason all of this has happened. I wouldn't give up the past 7 years for anything; my only regret is the part of Barbara Gordon that has been lost and that means my legs Dinah; my legs and my life and the grief because the Barbara that eagerly donned the Batgirl suit would have been sad. She would have cried and cried. She would have lain in her father's lap until he promised to make it better and she would have forced Helena to mourn with her. That Barbara would be stronger than I am now because she would have allowed herself to grow through her loss instead of neatly tucking it away until every trace of that girl was gone."

"Wow, you really are an English teacher aren't you? You went all metaphoric on me."

Barbara smiled, "Yah, some things never change. Bottom line, I need to be real, to be honest and to deal with who and what I am now. That means I may need some help here and there."

"Anything you need! I'm just glad we're all together!" The teenager sprang up and threw her arms around her friend.

"Me too, me too and let's be clear, if you ever toss me into a car again, I'm going to let Helena kick your butt!"

"Right! Sorry again."

"You need to talk to Helena. She's not quite as nice as me.

"Ummm…I can work on some stuff here too." …a voice came from around the corner.

Both Barbara and Dinah were startled as Helena appeared in her usual manner; stealthily.

"I may have been eavesdropping. Just know we're all on the same page. We're all together in this. What do you say we get started on stage two of the Birds of Prey?"

"Deal!"

"Sounds great!"

"What do you say we get started with dinner? I've spent the last few hours on my home made sauce and garlic knots."

"Already got the wine poured. See ya down stairs?" Helena and Dinah turned and began down the stairs.

"Oh…um…yah, meet you downstairs. I won't be a minute…"

"Just kidding Barbara. Like I'd take the stairs when there's a perfectly good elevator not ten feet away." They laughed and followed Barbara to the elevator at the end of the hall.

"It's not a big deal." It was already feeling strange, like the permission to make jokes and quips that had previously been off the table, was given.

"Right! Not a big deal." Dinah let her left hand rest on Barbara's back as she leaned forward to press the elevator button.

Barbara took in a deep breath as not to allow herself to make a big deal out of the feelings she was having. She hadn't thought far enough ahead to know how she would let people know what the boundaries are. There were still things like pushing her chair, which were off limits no matt how healthy-minded she had become. She was certain there would be plenty of opportunities for that learning and growing together to take place.

…

"Where's Alfred?"

"I sent him home for the night so we could talk and have some girl time. Dinah? Can you get the plates down?"

Smiling, she noticed Dinah was already setting the table.

"Some things never change Barbara."

"Barbara? Can you grab a hot pad to set this sauce on?" As she brought the pad to the table all three girls froze awkwardly.

"Hmmm…guess I never thought about the table."

"Yah, me neither. Your other chair was taller."

"Let's just eat in the living room."

"Or some one can just help me into the chair and we can eat at the table like normal people."

"Got it! Just wasn't sure if…"

"It's fine Helena, but we're getting a different table tomorrow!"

"O.K. Then on three?" Barbara was swiftly and smoothly lifted into the tall wooden chair and moved up to the table.

"So, what else is on the plan for tomorrow?" They began passing food around, making plans for the future without skipping a beat.

As Barbara looked around then looked down at herself sitting just like the other two girls, in a regular chair, she smiled and noticed a tear running down her face.

"What's up Barbara?"

"This is just an unexpected, perfect night. I feel hopeful…and…we're keeping this table."

"Really? It's not even that great of a table. Let's just get…"

"It is the perfect table. It stays!"

"O.K. then…so want to finish our perfect night with a movie and ice cream?"

"Only if you can tell us what our favorite flavors are? We'll see if Oracle is really back." Helena laughed, looking at Barbara and twirling another round of spaghetti onto her fork.

"Are you kidding? That's almost an insult. You are classic vanilla…no toppings…no cones. And Dinah is Strawberry mixed with the perfect amount of whipping cream until smooth in the bowl…also no cones. Piece of cake…but the real test is if you know mine?" Barbara adjusted herself in the seat making sure her feet were still secure.

"Mint chip!" Both girls yelled out at the same time. "With chocolate sauce. Who do you think always has to go get the ice cream?" Helena got up and started clearing the table.

"Good point. So you'll make the ice cream run then?" Barbara watched as Dinah too joined in the table clearing.

"Already done Babs!" Helena tossed a couple dishes in the sink then threw open the freezer door to reveal three pints of ice cream with a handwritten sign behind them that read; "Oracle who?"

They all had a good laugh then without even a second thought, Barbara was helped back into her chair and the three of them went about cleaning the kitchen.