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The Untold Story
Chapter 1
By KnightMysterio
Inspired by the fanarts of Black Lillian
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Author's Note: All characters copyrighted to Disney and Square-Enix, and are used for non-profit amusement reasons. Special credit goes to Black Lillian, who's fanart this and the next two stories are inspired by.

Castle that Never Was…
Room of Rest II…
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Xigbar yawned, quietly clicking away on his computer, perusing various internet sites. He found a few porn sites that looked interesting, but most of them were pay sites and Xemnas refused to let anyone have a credit card. He giggled slightly, remembering the grocery store incident a few weeks ago (Xemmy was STILL traumatized by it), and typed in a random phrase in Google, clicking search.

What he found brought a wide smile to his face.

"DUDE!" he yelled to Axel, who was playing Halo on Xigbar's Xbox 360, "Hey Axel!"

"I don't want to see it, Xigbar!" Axel snapped.

Xigbar giggled. "Yes, yes you do!"

Axel sighed, and put down the controller. He was losing, anyway. As he head into the room, he said, "For the last time, I'm not into domin… what the hell is that?" He stared at the image on the screen, confused.

Xigbar grinned wickedly. "For us? Gold. For Xemmy?…"

Room of Rest I…
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Xemnas was busily writing a report on the past couple of missions. But as he did, his pencil suddenly broke off at the tip.

Xemnas frowned, an ominous feeling overwhelming him.

"The last time I checked…" he said, mainly to himself, "Sora was off making ears bleed with some bint in a clam bra. …So why does it suddenly feel like impending doom?"

Room of Rest II…
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Axel gave the web page a thoughtful look. "Interesting… But one problem: we're missing, ah, 'supplies,' as it were."

Xigbar just waved off his concerns. "We'll just borrow them, hombre."

Axel gave Xigbar a horrified look. "That's SUICIDE!"

Xigbar smirked. "CHILL, ye of little faith. I've got a plan. Now go get Roxas and meet me in the hall by her bathroom."

Near the Void of Cleansing XII…
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"I don't know about this, Axel…" Roxas said as they walked into the hallway.

Axel shook his head, sighing, "Neither do I, buddy… Okay, so what's this plan of yours, Xigbar?"

Xigbar snickered… and then threw a lacy white bra at Roxas, screaming "ROXAS!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH LARXENE'S BRA, YOU LITTLE PERV!?!"

Roxas, the bra dangling from his hair, gave Xigbar a horrified look.

Axel shook his head, staring incredulously at Xigbar. "You're a sick man."

A loud scream of rage, following by the tell-tale sound of massive amounts of electricity, echoed from the bathroom.

Xigbar giggled. "Run, little dude. Run FAST."

Roxas ran. He called on all his powers of light to move as fast as he could.

Larxene caught him anyway.

Axel winced as he heard the screams coming from far down the hallway. "Look, I know we're villains and all, but that was LOW."

Xigbar rolled his eye as he rummaged through Larxene's drawers. "Meh, it's a learning experience."

Learning what? Axel thought.

"HOLY GOD I THINK THAT WAS A VITAL!" Roxas screamed, his voice nearly drowned out by Larxene's. To Axel's horror, she had started to laugh. She always was at her most sadistic when she was laughing…

"Ah," Xigbar said, pulling out an open package, "here we go."

"NO, LARXENE, PLEASE, I NEED THAT TO --- AAAUGH!!! MOMMY MOMMY MAKE IT STOP!!" Roxas wailed.

Axel swallowed hard. Visibly shaking, he went over to his accomplice and said, "Xigbar, we are teetering on the precipice of the kind of death I wouldn't wish on MICHAEL JACKSON. LISTEN to that!" He pointed out the door, where Roxas was still screaming.

Xigbar shrugged. "Builds character," he said, standing up, "Shall we be on our way?"

Axel nodded, feeling slightly numb. The two of them walked out of Larxene's private bathroom and back into the hallway. Vexen met them there, a slightly revolted look on his face.

"Axel," he said, "it seems that Larxene is strangling our young friend with his own inte…"

"HOLD ON LITTLE BUDDY, I'M COMING!" Axel shrieked, teleporting away in a wave of darkness.

"…Interestingly resilient coat ties," Vexen finished. He turned to Xigbar, spotting the box in his hands. "And might I inquire as to what you are doing with THOSE?" he asked, pointing to the box.

A wide grin on his face, Xigbar said, "I found instructions online for a tampon gun!"

Vexen stared at him thoughtfully.

From down the hall, Axel screamed, "Oh my god! And I thought XIGBAR was twisted!!"

Vexen frowned at Xigbar. "You know that this can only end in tragedy," he said.

"Is that…" Axel said, "Are those his… woooo…." A loud thud as Axel fainted reached the two of elder Nobodies.

Xigbar giggled and gave Vexen a thumbs up. "The look on Xemmy's face is TOTALLY gonna be worth it!"

Larxene snarled. "…The hell kinda pansy faints?! It's not like it can't be reattached…"

To Be Continued…