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The Untold Story
Chapter 2
By KnightMysterio
Inspired by the fanarts of Black Lillian
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Author's Note: All characters copyrighted to Disney and Square-Enix, and are used for non-profit amusement reasons. Special credit goes to Black Lillian, who's fanart this and the next two stories are inspired by. For the record, the tampon gun does exist. It's very disturbing. And in case you're wondering, yes, this does throw continuity out the window. Also, the scenes with Vexen, Demyx, Marluxia, the first scene with Saix, and the scene with Naminé were added on by me, and not in the actual fanart. The Luxord scene was modified as well, as I couldn't think of anything else to do with Xaldin and Lexaeus.

Castle that Never Was…
Room of Rest II…
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"Knife?" Xigbar asked.

"Knife," Axel said, handing him the cutting impliment.

"Fittings?"

"Fittings."

"Glue gun?"

"Glue gun."

After a few more minutes, their creation was finished. Xigbar brandished his creation and laughed ominously.

"I am become death, destroyer of worlds!" he said in a very Xemnas-like fashion.

"J. Robert Oppenheimer, said upon his creation of the atomic bomb," Axel added, smirking.

Xigbar grinned at him. "Tasteless joke?"

Axel laughed. "HOO yeah!"

Xigbar laughed and handed him an 'ammo' belt. "Let's do this."

Room of Rest I

A few minutes later…

Xemnas was busily writing a new report on his own last mission. But then his pencil broke again.

Villain senses tingling…he thought, turning towards the entrance to the room. "Show yourself," he demanded in his most imposing voice.

A tampon struck him in the forehead.

"Beh?" he said, picking up the small, cotton object.

Xigbar and Axel giggled… and then went full-auto on him.

"AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" Xemnas said, flailing his arms and falling off of his chair, tampons raining down on him.

The two pranksters giggled and teleported away, appearing near Roxas's room.

"Aaah, it's the little things that make life worth living," Xigbar said, pulling a tampon out of his ammo belt and admiring it.

Little things? Axel thought, I guess he'd know… He stared at Roxas's room for a minute and said, "Oh, hey, gimmie a sec."

He walked into Roxas's room. He smiled warmly and pointed to the tampon gun. Roxas, sitting on his bed and reading a Sailor Moon manga, glared at him, idly scratching the bandages wrapped around his middle.

"Hey Roxas," Axel said, "You wanna come with?"

If looks could kill, then Roxas would have reduced Axel to a smear just then. "Let's think about this Axel. Let's think really hard."

Axel frowned sadly. "…No?"

Roxas fumed. "Considering a Hazmat team is still trying to scrape together what Larxene left of my internal organs? NO."

Axel giggled nervously. "Maybe disembowelment is a sign of affection in her culture?"

Roxas glared at him. "Right, because nothing says I love you like a STEAMING PILE OF VITALS."

Axel grinned weakly. "…Heheh… Yeah, that was bad…"

Roxas shook his head. "For crying out loud, the DUSKS threw up when they saw it! And they don't have anything to throw up WITH!!"

Axel, getting the idea, left the room, meeting up with Xigbar in the hallway.

Well, NOW what am I going to get him for Christmas? Axel thought grumpily. "He didn't want to."

Xigbar wasn't surprised. "Well, I know just the thing to make it all better."

Axel sighed. "What?"

Xigbar giggled, his expression all sunshine, butterflies and rainbows. "Shooting people with tampons!"

Axel sneered, his expression all fire and evil intentions. "GOOD PLAN."

Both men vanished in a single wave of darkness.

Library of Meaningless Stories…
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Zexion quietly sat reading his enchanted book. Normally, it was a dictionary (when he wasn't using it as an enchanted weapon), but he had long ago learned that he could replace the text inside with the entirety of any book he had ever read in his life. Right now, he was reading one of his favorite pieces.

Then the illusionist's hyper-sensitive nose noticed something.

"I smell… mountain-fresh absorbent cotton?" he said, confusion evident in his voice.

A tampon hit him in the back of the head.

"HA!" Xigbar laughed.

"GOTCHA, EMO BOY!" Axel said.

Zexion snarled and whirled around with his book, intent on trapping them both inside it with his magic. But they had already teleported away, the green flash of Zexion's spell hitting nothing.

Room of Rest X…
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Luxord grumbled as he applied the lipstick to his lips. He glared at himself in the mirror, at the blush, eyeliner, black dress and bunny ears with a pink bow he now wore, mentally trying to review what went wrong.

I just had to make a bet like this, Luxord angrily thought to himself.

Lexaeus and Xaldin stood nearby, Xaldin chuckling at Luxord's plight as Lexaeus took pictures.

"I still don't know how you did it, how you actually BEAT Luxord at Poker," Xaldin said, "But you are now my official hero."

Lexaeus just grinned.

Luxord snarled at them and said, "I wish you'd at least let me shave, so I don't look like a total fool,"

Lexaeus smirked. "I don't think so," he said, "Just keep getting ready. Once you're all set we'll show you to the others."

Luxord grumbled.

Then Axel and Xigbar kicked in the door, surprising the three of them and getting a shriek from Luxord. "BWAHA!" the two of them said, taking aim with their tampon guns.

Then they both just stared at Luxord, frozen and unable to move from the sight before them.

"This… This isn't what it looks like!" Luxord stammered.

Xaldin blinked at what the two of them were holding. "Are those tampon guns?"

Axel whimpered softly. Xigbar just grabbed Axel, teleporting the two of them away without a word."

Lexaeus blinked. "Why do I feel we just dodged a bullet?"

Xaldin snickered. "Or a tampon, as it were."

Luxord whimpered softly.

Hall of Empty Melodies…
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The two pranksters found Demyx in his favorite place in the castle. The musician claimed the acoustics were just right in that place. Xigbar, getting an idea, teleported up onto one of the balconies and took a sniper position.

Demyx was quietly singing. Axel could never understand how he did it, but Demyx managed to play popular songs usually done on guitar and make them sound BETTER. It still lacked that one element needed to make it actually music, but Demyx was talented enough to make it sound good.

Axel was wondering why Xigbar was taking so long.

Xigbar was patiently waiting, his aim perfect. When Demyx opened his mouth wide for a long note, Xigbar smirked and pulled the trigger.

The tampon landed right in Demyx's mouth.

Both men cracked up laughing as Demyx choked on the cotton bit, teleporting away quickly as soon as Demyx got it out of his throat.

Demyx stared at the tampon idly, and discreetly washed it away. Larxene would handle vengeance for him.

Laboratory of Insane Ideas…
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Vexen sighed, staring at his latest experiment. "All right. I've managed to stabilize the compound. So long as it doesn't come into contact with any cotton, it should be fine."

Vexen nodded, and left the gelatinous goop on the table.

Axel and Xigbar, from their hiding place, giggled softly.

"Now is that an invitation, or is that an invitation?" Axel said, the two of them taking aim at the goop and firing.

The tampons struck the goop with no visible effects.

"What the…" Xigbar said. The two of them stepped out to investigate…

…and were immediately pelted with snowballs.

Vexen, standing next to a file cabinet, smirked at them. "Did you idiots really think my security systems wouldn't notice you come in?"

Xigbar and Axel traded looks and smirked at Vexen. Before the Chilly Academic could summon his shield, the two pranksters shot him in the face, hitting him in the eyes.

Xigbar and Axel laughed, leaving Vexen to scream in rage.

Addled Impasse…
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Xigbar and Axel took one look at Saix, who was smiling contentedly and staring at the moon, and thought better of it. They teleported away without a word.

Dungeon of Lost Souls…
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Kairi sighed wearily, leaning against the bars of her cage. She wondered where Sora was, and hoped he'd get there soon. This place was depressing and boring. And on top of that, she didn't know how many more of their taunts she could take. Naminé was nice to her, but after Saix discovered her first attempt to free her, the blonde girl's visits were few and far between, usually cut short before she could make an attempt to free her by one of the minion Nobodies coming by.

She braced herself as she heard a pair of footsteps coming down the halls. She looked out, preparing to fling her own insults at whomever it was (she had come up with a few doozies).

Then a tampon hit her in the face.

Xigbar and Axel's laughter echoed down the hallways as they ran off.

Kairi whimpered softly, tears flowing down her face, and made a mental note to whomp Sora once she found out EXACTLY what was taking him so damn long...

Room of Rest I…
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Xemnas shivered in disgust as he tried to clean up the tampons scattered around the room. Feminine hygiene products disturbed him. It made him think of the more unpleasant female bodily functions, and he really didn't need that image so soon after lunch.

Xigbar and Axel peeked into his room again and grinned wickedly. "Why not?" Axel said after a moment.

They both went full-auto on Xemnas again.

Xemnas screamed as tampons rained down on him some more. "I will find you and destroy you all!!!" he bellowed. Axel and Xigbar laughed and teleported away.

Xemnas whimpered softly, tears flowing down his face, and made a mental note to let Saix mangle the two of them once he caught them.

Room of Soulless Art…
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Naminé sighed wearily. She sketched various ideas on how to free her other, discarding them just as quickly. If only she could figure out a way to distract the other members and the damn minion Nobodies at the same time…

Xigbar and Axel burst into her room. Frantically, she hid her sketches underneath the bed. She turned around, putting on her sweetest, most innocent smile…

And was promptly hit in the face with a pair of tampons fired with an almost cute-sounding pop.

Xigbar and Axel laughed wickedly and teleported away.

Naminé sighed. She should be used to mistreatment from them by now.

She picked up the tampons and sniffed them. Hmm… Not my brand… She then smirked, getting a vicious idea, and teleported away.

She reappeared in Larxene's bathroom, where the Savage Nymph was angrily searching through her belongings.

"Dammit all, where did I put those things…"

Naminé idly threw a tampon at Larxene's head.

In an instant, Naminé was slammed up against the wall, a kunai pressed to her throat, Larxene's body crackling with electricity.

"Because you are a fellow female I will be generous and give you TEN seconds to explain yourself before I use your guts for some abstract artwork!" Larxene snapped.

Naminé smirked and held up the other tampons. "Guess what Axel and Xigbar have been doing all day."

The glow faded from Larxene's eyes for a moment, and then returned with greater intensity.

"BASTARDS!!" she roared.

Just a few feet away from the Garden of Hopeless Dreams…
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"GET BACK HERE!!" Marluxia bellowed, sending another scythe-wave after Xigbar and Axel, tampons dangling from his pink hair.

"S'matter, Marlo? I thought all girls used those!" Xigbar said, laughing wildly as he dodged the energy attack.

Marluxia let out a very Saix-like roar and summoned a blizzard of razor-edged petals, preparing to shred the two of them.

Xigbar teleported a chunk of floor out from underneath the Graceful Assassin, sending him into a fall to the floor below that was anything BUT graceful.

The two paused just outside the lounge, catching their breath. Axel was giggling wildly. He had never had this much before in his non-existent life!

Xigbar grinned. "That's it, dude, just get it all out of your system."

Axel smirked. After a bit, the two of them set out again.

"Anyone left" Axel said.

Xigbar grinned evilly, stopping. "Just one."

"Nah, Roxas didn't want to…"

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ROXAS."

Axel whirled, just in time to see a flaming tampon, charged up by Xigbar's own powers, heading towards him. Axel's ammo belt fell from his chest as his summoned his chakrams in a whirl of flame.

"Oh you cheap, team-killing WHORE!" Axel said indignantly.

Xigbar just grinned.

To Be Continued…