Never Ending by Betty Bokor
Sam/Daniel. Vala has a secret and Sam has promised to help her. This story tags Unending and is kind to Vala and all the other characters in general.
Spoilers: All seasons, including 10 to the end.
Disclaimer: The Stargate original characters belong to MGM/Showtime, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Film Corp. This was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt at copyright infringement has been made.

Never Ending

Chapter 3

Half an hour later Daniel was back in his car, driving home, but he was still not sure that he was ready to talk to Sam. When he arrived, he walked directly upstairs to see her and discovered that she had fallen asleep. He went to his home office and chose a small piece of paper to write a note for her. He explained that he had been there and promised to be back soon, but he did not say why he had to go out again. Then he left the note on her nightstand and got in his car again.

It was getting late and he was not sure where to go. He needed a place to give her a last farewell, to let go of her forever. He finally stopped near a church on Kiowa Street. After parking, he walked slowly towards it. It was Saint Mary's Cathedral and its doors were still open. He entered the impressive building and he was overwhelmed by the intensity of the silence in the nave. That was the right place. He would have preferred something that could bring more memories from Abydos, but there was nothing remotely similar to it in Colorado Springs.

He sat in one of the pews and took a picture out of his pocket. It was Sha're's picture; he had picked it up from his home desk. He looked at it for a while and soon his eyes were full of tears. He was trying to remember all the happy, beautiful moments he had shared with her, but only the painful events that followed her kidnapping kept coming to his mind. Soon he was crying quietly, but with such depth of feeling that he was surprised. He had cried countless nights after he went back to Earth without her, when nobody could hear him, but he had never actually cried for her after her death. He had kept all his emotions under heavy lock and key. After all these years he finally felt he could release them.

He had been crying for a while, covering his eyes with his hands, when he suddenly remembered the Sha're from the tent, the Sha're who was trying to communicate with him in spite of Amaunet. There was something in her eyes, right before she died, that had stayed with him forever. First she had looked sad, cold, desolate, but then there was more, all her love for him and, also, kindness. He felt as though she had tried to console him, to give him peace. No one else tried, for fear of renewing the pain or because they simply did not know how. She must have guessed what he had gone through since she was taken and how he was unable to let go. She knew that one of his teammates would almost certainly come to rescue him –in any case, to rescue his body– and she wanted to save his soul. She knew she was going to die –she probably had planned it somehow; she possibly welcomed that final liberation– and she wanted to give him something special with her last breath. She wanted him to forgive and start again. She could not use many words, but the last thing he saw in her eyes was a smile. There was forgiveness and hope in that last look, in those last words. Since then, every time he had felt lost or desperate, he had turned to her memories for comfort.

For a moment he reflected on how along the years he had always regretted how he had lost so soon what had made him so happy. It was as if he had always been waiting for her, for someone to show him that kind of selfless love that he had lost so young after the death of his parents. Then, so shortly after he had started learning to enjoy it, it had been taken away by the cruel hand of Apophis. Now, he suddenly saw it in a different way. Maybe, it was a blessing that he had had Sha're at all, even for that short time, even with all the pain that had come afterwards. Who knew if he would have ever gotten used to living in that desert forever. It had certainly been hard. At the beginning, the continuous discoveries had kept him occupied, but later he had started feeling the desperation of not having anyone to share his passion. It had only been worth it because she loved him; and all that he had learned with her, he could now give to Sam. Sam was his equal in so many ways, almost as Sarah had been, but when he had met Sarah, he did not know how to love; he did not know the bliss it would give him to give himself to her, like he had with Sha're. Now he knew better, and though he had thought he would never feel anything like that for anyone else, he was right here preparing to go back to Sam and offer himself.

He gave one more look at the picture, as he had so many times when he missed her, when he felt hopeless, loveless, and this time he remembered Sha're smiling brightly at him under the Abydos sun. He remembered her kisses and her laugh, her clear voice singing or making plans for the future, and he thanked the Heavens for all of it. If there was a God listening somewhere, he just wanted to thank Him for her. He was not going to forget her; she would always be a part of him; he would always love her, but now he could love someone else, and that someone else was waiting for him at home.

He got up and went back to his car. He was home a few minutes later. It was very late, so he thought about letting Sam sleep, but when he walked towards his bedroom, he saw that the light was on in his guest room. He knocked softly and Sam called him in. She was sitting on the bed, holding her legs in her arms. She smiled at him, but he felt she was somehow afraid of something.

"How are you doing? Did you get some rest?"

Sam simply nodded.

"Well, do you want to talk?" he asked as he sat on the bed facing her.

She closed her eyes and seemed uncomfortable. Then she raised her head and looked at him. "You're right about one thing, Daniel. It wouldn't be fair to lie to you. Actually, you're right about something else. I had no clue about these… feelings… before I told you. They blindsided me. I've probably been denying them to myself. I had some signs-" she smiled shyly. "Does jealousy count?"

Daniel smiled back and nodded. "Yep. It definitely counts in my book."

"Well, then… It's just that I never thought it could work. Before, it was because of Sha're. It was as if she was always by your side, even after-"

"I've made my peace with her. Don't worry, Sam."

"And now, there's Vala. At the beginning, she drove me crazy. I think that's when I first felt jealous in a long time. I usually had the sensation that you'd always be there and suddenly there was this woman who seemed to be trying to have you for herself… It was disconcerting, but I told myself that I just didn't want to lose a friend. I think I got used to the idea that what I really wanted was for you to be happy and if she was the one-"

"I had a talk with Vala tonight. That's where I went. Since all this began, you know, in the Prometheus, there's always been something there and I had to close that door before coming back here."

"You don't have to close anything because of me," Sam said defensively and immediately her eyes filled with tears, so she closed them and turned her face away from Daniel.

He stood up, walked around the bed and sat by her side. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered, "Not because of you, but for you, because I want to be with you and I've known that for a lot longer than you. I just thought that there was no chance of it happening. Now that I know how you feel, nothing would stop me, Sam."

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