The Falcon and the Hummingbird
Part 2: Hyper as a Hummingbird

Fandom Information
Ownership: Azuma Kiyohiko
Pairing: Tomo/Yomi

Author's note: Not only do I not own Azumanga Daioh, I also don't own Ai Yori Aoshi (slight cameo appearance later in the story).

part one REPORTING LIVE!

I'm Takino Tomo, a loose cannon high school girl that's as energetic as they come. But you knew that.

First off, I'd like to say that I'm not always hyper, and that I can be serious sometimes. But Yomi-chan likes my hyper side, and what Yomi-chan wants, Yomi-chan gets. Always.

...Umm, and stuff...and there's also "this and that"...

Anyway, enough of my ecchi thoughts. For now. I dunno what Yomi-chan would do without my daily visits to wake her from her beauty sleep, but anyway, I'm headed to Yomi-chan's house right now. I'm in a pretty good mood today (even though there's an English exam tomorrow—crap, I better study, or beg notes off Yomi-chan) so it won't be too difficult to let my natural hippity-hoppity hyperness take center stage. Yappi! Nnnyuuu!

I hop over the fence and cross to Yomi-chan's window. It's unlocked, again. You'd think she'd learn, after years of me waking her up. I'm her living alarm clock.

I slowly slide the window open and climb into her room. I hate to disturb her, she's so adorable when she's asleep, but hey, I gotta job to do...fufufuu...

Deep breath...

"Yomi-chan! Open your eyes!"

"Gyaaaah!" (pause) "Damn you Tomo! Get outta my room!"

I start running around her room.

"Yomi-chan, you better get dressed before I come over there and do it for you! We're both girls, so I don't mind...fufufu...and, and besides, you're practically a living pillow anyway... (bap) Ow! Why'd ya throw a pillow at me?"

"Tomo, shut up and let me get dressed."

"You're mean."

"Out."

"Yes, ma'am." I leave her room, but not before sticking my head back in her room and reminding her. "Seven-fifteen. Ten minutes."

I shut her bedroom door and head over to her kitchen. (No breakfast at my house today, not until Mom gets her next paycheck—in another frickin' week! Well, at least Yomi-chan's family doesn't have financial troubles.) I'm gonna have to come up with something to get her back for throwing a pillow at me. Hmmm...I've already started the day with a joke about her weight (maybe that explains the pillow), so I'll have to think of something different.

Oooh! I got it! I'm evil! Fufufu!

Grabbing some snacks for breakfast (and lunch), I run to the living room and unplug the microphone from Yomi-chan's karaoke machine (a bad investment if you ask me, and a bad investment even if you don't ask me) and stuff the end of the microphone plug down my skirt. Armed with a "plugged in" microphone, I race back to Yomi-chan's room and kick open the door.

"Hi Hi Puffy TomoYomi!"

"Kyaaahhh!"

Yomi-chan's standing there, half-dressed. Well, what did I expect, I've only been gone for about two minutes, if that.

"Tomo, get out! Get out now!" she yells over her rising blush.

"Yomi-chan, we're both girls, why are you blushing?" I tease her.

"Wha...I...you...Arrgh!"

I step forward, pressing my advantage. Go Tomo-chan!

"On this episode of 'Tokyo Life'," I begin, gesturing dramatically with the microphone, "we're profiling a certain Mizuhara Koyomi-san (17)."

"Tomo...I'm warning you..."

"She may look like an ordinary high school girl, and a very attractive one at that, but in reality she's a—OW! Pillow! In reality she's a secret agent working for NHK, codenamed Special Agent Mitsuyama Maki-san (23)."

Yomi-chan stops and blinks for a second.

"NHK?! That's not a police office, baka! Why would I be a secret agent there?"

Hmm, she's got a point there. Umm...

"Because I know the truth about you, Mizuhara—or should I say Mitsuyama?"

"Have you lost your mind? And what are you doing with my karaoke microphone?"

It took you that long to notice?!

"You're working for NHK as an investigative reporter, slyly infiltrating into the North Korean nuclear program, in order to procure their nuclear reactors, so you can take over the world. But I won't let you, because the world is mine! Mine! Ahahahaha!"

"Tomo, you rambling idiot, let me get dressed! And get my microphone cord outta your skirt, it looks so...so..."

"Ecchi?" I helpfully supply. Another random pillow quickly teaches me that no, that was not helpful.

I stride towards Yomi-chan's (still open) window. Time to make my exit.

"That's it for this episode of 'Tokyo Life'. Reporting live from the so-called 'Mizuhara' residence—ow! pillow!—this is Takino Tomo. Join us next time, when we're featuring a certain femme fatale named Ka—"

"Out!"

I scoot my hyper butt out the window before Yomi-chan can throw yet another pillow. I'm already hyper at seven-twenty in the morning, and I haven't even had my sweets yet. My sweetheart, yes (even if she won't admit it...well, not in public, anyway), but no sweets.

"Bai-bai, Yomi-chan! See you at the corner!"

And then I run. Yomi-chan isn't the friendliest of us girls in the morning. Some mornings I honestly wonder how she puts up with me, but she likes my hyper side, and...um, we already went over that.

part two HUMMINGBIRDS!

"Tomo, it's too early to be so damn hyper."

"I know that, Yomi-chan."

"Sometimes I wonder how a hyper girl like you managed to slow down long enough to pass the entrance exam for this school. It's not like they'll accept just anybody, you know."

"Osaka got in. So did Kagura."

"True."

We're having this conversation on our way to school.

"Besides, Yomi-chan, they let Yukari-chan teach here. That's gotta count for something. You know what I think?"

"I don't wanna know what you think."

Seeing Yomi-chan's grin, I press on. "The way I see it, they'll admit pretty much anybody with a pulse." Pause. Pause. Come on, Yomi-chan, say it!

"Pulse, huh?"

Bingo!

"I checked my pulse this morning, did you know?"

"Didn't know that."

"My pulse was eight beats per minute!" I randomly state.

"Tomo, if your heart only beat eight times per minute, you'd be dead."

"Really?"

"Yes really. Well, OK, a minute has sixty seconds, right?"

"Right..." I nod, not really sure where Yomi-chan's going with this.

"And seven times eight is fifty-six seconds, so that's one pulse about every seven seconds."

Damn. I hadn't considered that.

"Well anyway, Yomi-chan, I guess that pulse measurement disproves the 'Tomo is hyper as a hummingbird' theory, doesn't it?"

"Theory my ass! You probably made up that number just now."

"Speaking of which, they say that eighty percent of all statistics are made up on the spot." At least, I think it was eighty percent.

"Sounds about right." Yomi-chan merely shrugs. She's actually buying it!

Well, I'm not going to spoil such a victory, so I decide to shut up the rest of the way to school.

part three KARMA!

At school, I sit and stare out the window, just like Sakaki does all day. She's not actually teaching me out loud how to do it (does that sound like Sakaki to you?) but I have telekinesis, or whatever it's called, so we can talk with our minds. Go me!

Anyway, today I'm mildly annoyed because I was trying to actually say something intelligent for once, regarding the hydrangea flowers, and what each of those little clusters is supposed to symbolize. But I've never really been good at explaining stuff, and even Chiyo-suke couldn't figure out what I was getting at. So eventually I got frustrated and went back to my desk, and sat there all day, just staring out the window.

I cheer up at lunch, though. We climb the stairs to go eat on the roof again. (Note to self: I've been stressed out lately...maybe tomorrow at lunch I'll hit the pool, if Nyamo lets me in during lunch period. I really gotta unwind, or I'll end up hitting something. Should've taken up a sport like Kagura, but it's a little late for that now, I guess.)

On the roof...

"Yomi-chan, what's that wobbly yellow stuff in your bentou?"

"This? It's called flan. You want to try a bite?"

"Sure." Yomi-chan lets me have a bite of her flan, and then I give my opinion on it. "This stuff is pretty good, but it looks like fat tissue."

"You tryin' to say something?"

I give her my most innocent smile. "Noooo..."

Yomi-chan sighs. "Tomo, I don't know why you annoy me so much."

Hmm, I need a quick comeback. "Because you and I made a deal in our past life."

"We did what?!"

"Yeah, we made a deal that in our next life, which is this one, we'd annoy each other 24/7. That's why we even have similar-sounding given names, so we could find each other."

"What are you going on about...do I even want to know..."

"And by the same logic," I hyperly ramble, "Mihama Chiyo-suke here—"

"Haaai?"

"—is destined to annoy Minazuki Chika-chan, 'cause they've got not only similar-sounding names, but even the same initials."

"Ehh? Wh-why would I want to—"

"Chiyo-chan." Sakaki lays a comforting hand on Chiyo-suke's head, and somehow that instantly calms her down. Hey, I figure if that little brat can survive Yukari-chan's driving, she can survive anything.

The look that Chiyo-suke's giving Sakaki right now is priceless. So adorable! The cuteness! (Note to self: Must pull her pigtails later.)

Yomi-chan (also adorable) blanks out for a second. Then:

"I have no idea where you got that from."

"Would you like to know?"

"Good point. No."

"I knew you'd see it my way."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean? Anyway, Tomo, that's an anime character."

"So?"

"So, bonkura, how exactly is Chiyo-chan supposed to annoy an anime character?"

Um... "I dunno. She's smart, she'll figure it out."

Yomi-chan sighs. Again. She does that a lot, especially whenever I'm around. "I really don't know what to do with you sometimes, Tomo."

"No, but I know what you'd like to do with me." I lean closer to her. "Fufufuu...Yoomii-chaann..."

"Wha——what are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what, Yomi-chan..."

"Tomo? What are you doing? Tomo, I'm warning you..."