Hi everyone! It's been a while! Well, here's chapter nine--I finally got it done--and I have to say, I might actually make some people mad at me with this one. The person who makes a"cameo appearance" is kind of controversial in the fanfiction world, so I'm bracing myself for a little angry feedback. Eh, whatever.

TigerTank: Mary Sue has no chance to survive make her time.

Georgianna: Woot!

Ri2: No, because if he tried, the blade would glance off a pendant the Sue wears under her blouse--it's the only keepsake she has of her mother--so she would live. That's probably what would happen.

mew katt the sith lord: Hurl away.

Lizai: Nice idea. I might have to steal it sometime. (laughs)

eternalnemesis & Lucky: I'm responding with... um... myself, 'cause all one of me read your review together. Ganondorf is EVIL!

Baron Hausenpheffer: Tiger, tiger, birdy... your clothes are red! Product placement with Taco Bell...

Xiao-Darkcloud: Twitch just about sums it up.

Chapter nine… Of Flowers and Cameo Appearances

Riana is on cloud nine.

She feels her sheer joy shining through her face, and though she is a little sorry that her recently-found twin sister has been kidnapped and is being subject to who knows what kind of horrid torture while being kept in a lightless grimy prison, she simply cannot help but sigh in pleasure.

She and her beloved are setting off on a quest together!

The princess can hardly wait. There is no doubt that while on the journey, she and Link are going to have a plethora of opportunities to discover and confess their true feelings for one another. And, better yet, during the final showdown with Ganondorf, while Link is lying grievously injured because he took a near-fatal hit to save her life, Riana will get to administer her miraculous goddess-granted healing powers not by crying over him, but kissing him.

Yes! The power of love will bloom, and then they will finish Ganondorf off for good, and then they will kiss again, and then Link will ask for her hand in marriage, and then that anticipated epilogue can—

"Riana!"

Link's voice breaks her out of her fantasy. Her Knight in Green Tunic is standing a little ways in front of her, looking slightly annoyed that she has fallen behind already when they're not even out of the Market yet.

She steps forward and slips her slender arm through his. "I'm sorry," she says. "I must have gotten lost in thought. How silly of me."

"Will you quit doing that?" Link sighs, pushing her arm off of himself. "It got old after the first time. And the eleven times after that."

Riana would normally be a little hurt that he turned down yet another gesture of love, but she reminds herself that they haven't even started off on the sidequests yet. There will be plenty of time for him to realize just how deeply he cherishes her.

She admires Link's handsome face as he surveys their surroundings. Their children will certainly inherit his… his… well, alright, their children will inherit their mother's radiant eyes, flowing golden hair, perfectly shaped features, and lovely singing voice. But their sons, at least, will inherit Link's strong build.

"The people here are so tense," her beloved comments, and Riana glances around the Market square. He is right, of course. There is certainly an air of unspoken fear in this place, perhaps stemming from the fact that the sky has turned that all-too-familiar murky shade of brown that can only mean Ganondorf is again on the loose.

As she and Link make their way through the Market square, Riana feels the eyes of the peasants fall upon her. She is used to it—people have been staring at her in awe since she was little—but this time she can sense something else in their gaze. Something… hopeful.

She feels a tug on her skirt and looks down to see an adorable little girl, maybe five years old, shyly trying to make eye contact.

Riana's heart of gold simply melts, and she scoops the child into her arms. "Yes, sweetheart?" she asks, balancing the girl on her hip.

The little girl pulls out a single white flower and presses it into Riana's hand. "The old man says you're the one who's gonna save us all," she says, "so this is for you."

Riana looks past the child for a moment to see an old prophet clad in blue, nodding approvingly and smiling.

She hugs the little girl affectionately. "Thank you very much!" she says, and the girl beams. Riana sets her down and then stoops down to eye level with her. "And you know what? That old man is right! I am going to save the world! So you don't have to be afraid of that big ugly old Ganondorf, alright?"

"Alright!" the girl agrees enthusiastically. "I'm gonna go tell everyone not to be afraid anymore!" She dashes off, and Riana straightens up, smiling to herself. She admires the little flower for a moment, then tucks it into her hair, where it accents her features perfectly.

Link watches Riana's interaction with the little girl with impatience. What is taking her so long?

There. Finally. The child has scampered away, and Zelda's sister is slipping a little white blossom into her golden hair. Link is just about to go grab her arm and drag her along when something horrible happens.

She's so pretty.

Link almost recoils in terror the moment that thought crosses his mind. He turns his back to Riana and fishes the Pendant of Sanity out of his tunic, staring at it as though he has any idea what it is he's looking for.

Why did this stupid thing fail to filter a Sueish thought from his brain?

"Link?" It's Riana, and her voice is as sweetly musical as always. "Link, dear, are you alright?"

The flustered Hero of Time quickly stuffs the Pendant back under his tunic. "Hurry it up," he says quickly over his shoulder. "We've lost a lot of time already. We need to get going. Right now."

Elsewhere, in the highest room of the tallest tower of the Secret Fortress of Darkness and Evil, Zelda continued to pace, back and forth, back and forth.

I, she thought savagely, am SO bored.

She crossed to the begrimed window and surveyed the ocean of blood-tipped spikes spread out beneath her prison. Ganondorf had done his work well; from a bird's-eye view, she could see that there were many more traps and monsters and such than there were in his last evil floating castle hideout. It could be a very long time before Link got through all of that, and who knew how long it would take him to storm the fortress after that?

If only she were one of the fun types of princesses—the kind that dressed up as a commoner and ran away to escape the royal life, abusive families, and arranged marriages to complete morons, the kind of princess who was an expert in weaponry, the kind of princess who didn't have to rely on random magic sage powers and the all-important hero to save her skin!

Zelda gave a scream of frustration. "AAAAGH! I hate being useless!"

"You don't have to be," came a calm voice from behind her.

The princess whirled around. "What the—who said that?"

A figure dropped from the ceiling right in front of her, performing a perfect triple-somersault in the air and landing catlike on their feet. "It was I…"

He straightened up and looked Zelda in the face. "…the one they call Sheik."

The princess blinked. "What?"

Sheik cocked his head. "What do you mean, what? Do you have a problem with my kind or something?"

"You can't be Sheik!" Zelda snapped. "I'm Sheik!"

"You can't be Zelda and Sheik," the other argued, folding his arms.

Zelda fought the temptation to stamp her foot and lost. "Look, you stupid impostor, I clearly explain in Ocarina of Time that I'm Sheik, and I can become Sheik in Melee, so don't you tell me who I can be and who I can't be!"

"Well, you have to keep in mind that we're still inside a work of fanfiction," Sheik replied matter-of-factly. "I can be my own person if I want to."

"But that doesn't work with the games!" Zelda protested.

Sheik just shrugged. "Well, neither does Riana."

Zelda opened her mouth, then shut it. He had a point.

"So what are you doing here?" she asked instead.

Sheik shrugged again. "I'm doing what I do best—showing up out of nowhere at times of your most dire need to offer you vague advice that turns out to be a major hint towards what you need to do next and then throwing sand in your face to distract you while I run away."

Zelda sighed. "It sounds so much cooler when I say it."

"Look," Sheik snapped at her, "do you want to get out of here or don't you?"

"Of course I do!" Zelda shot back.

Sheik seemed less than satisfied, but he pulled out his harp anyway. "Alright, play after me on your ocarina."

"I don't have one," Zelda said. "I gave it to Link, remember?"

Sheik froze, then slumped over a little bit in defeat. "Oh… that's right. Well, good luck getting out then."

"You're going already?" Zelda asked incredulously. "You didn't even help me!"

"Well, my hints won't do you any good if you can't learn the music that goes along with 'em," Sheik said. "Hang on a second, and I'll get some sand."

He fished around in his little satchel as Zelda fumed, but when he withdrew his hand, it had something else besides sand in it. "Sweet!" he exclaimed. "Look what I found!"

"That had better not be what I think it is," Zelda muttered.

"I forgot I had this," Sheik said happily. "Here you go! It's the Harmonica of Time! Now you can play along with me!"

"That's ridiculous," Zelda shot back at him. "No way."

"Well, it's either the Harmonica or staying stuck in here," Sheik reminded her.

Crap, Zelda thought, he's right.

"Give it here," she sighed, stretching out her hand as the "You Found The…" jingle began to play in the background.