Sodapop has to deal with a lot, and he doesn't always show it. This is how I imagine what he actually thinks and feels, not what he shows.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.
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Learning to Defend
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Stuck in the middle once again
Feeling like I'm locked in a cage, or stuck in a pen
I know that they never will, nor will I allow them to see
Just how much all of this is breaking me
I can't choose one of their sides
I can't defend without having to lie
But at the same time, I'm about to crack
It's all just getting to be too much
Still have to mediate and never lack
But at the same time, I'm longing for someone's touch
They're all that I've got left
All he's really trying to do is protect
But the other gets to feeling like a suspect
The never ending questions
The loud-as-hell fights
No one is allowed to make suggestions
It's either his way, or there's no lights
I'm left to brightening the mood
The faithful brother, stuck in the middle of the feud
I couldn't stand to see them fight
Then she walked right into my life
Suddenly, I could deal with it all
There was hope, and I saw no need to stall
I went head over heels
And I'm pretty sure she did too
We had it all, it almost seemed surreal
We would be together forever, that was so plain everyone knew
The fights went on, but I had someone to help me endure
Thought that never again would I feel insecure
Too late for turning back around
I was too happily lost to be found
I was in love
And there was no stopping me now
That much I made painfully clear
It was so much more of a shock
When something happened to bring back the tears
My brother was gone
It seemed as though the fights had gone on too long
Our family was broken again
And there was no one left to defend
It made everything so much worse
I felt like I had been gifted an eternal curse
She left it all in writing
Said there was nothing left to be worth fighting
She had committed the ultimate sin
Taken everything out from where it had been
I promised to her that it didn't matter
She said she couldn't go through with it
To her it was all useless
And once again I was falling into the bottom of an endless pit
She was gone, and so was he
I wanted to close my eyes and never again be able to see
Then maybe I would forget that there was no one there to defend
None of us knew if we would be whole again
Two of us were gone
And I didn't have enough left in me to be strong
But at least someone knew where they were
And I begged to God he'd be able to defer
My last plea to my brother
I sounded cheerful enough
But I tried to be strong, I tried to be tough
I think in the end I sounded a bit like my dear old mother
I got my answer to the prayer
I got him back and he was finally ready to share
I got him back and I was again ready to be proud
Everything was coming back to how it should be
We were a family, and they were finally starting to see
That everything was best when it was good and loud
But it never turns out how it's supposed to
And it's scary because there was nothing I could do
Two were still missing in the end
All any of us could do was pretend
It just didn't seem fair
That we were always the ones who had to not care
I knew that we were people too
But nothing ever changes in the end
There was nothing anyone could possibly do
We just have to go on, learning to defend.
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