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Familiar with the Eyes, but not with the Owner
Chapter 8:
I set the two boys down in their cots for their afternoon nap and begin to catch up on my housework. As I clean, my thoughts inadvertedly turned to tomorrow and hence to Lily's funeral. Dumbledore's letter that he sent to me through Mr Crouch remains fresh in my mind.
Dear Mrs Dursley,
Let me begin by expressing my pleasure- and admittedly- relief that you have chosen to take in Harry. I write to you for two reasons. Firstly to remind you that your sister and her husband's funeral is tomorrow. As it is being held in the wizarding village where they died, I ask that you go to Fenwick's Café in Aberystwyth, Wales at 10am where someone will meet you. The second reason for my letter is that I must now tell you what I did not explain to you before.
As you are aware, Lily and James were very talented with magic. When Voldemort came to power they chose to use their talents against him and joined the Order the Phoenix, a group of fighters willing to take to battle to protect their friends and family. In doing so, they put themselves as tremendous risk, and as such Voldemort became aware of their resistance and sought to end their lives. Mr and Mrs Potter were aware of this, and so took steps to protect themselves.
On the night that your sister and her husband died, they were under the protection of the Fidelius Charm. This is a spell involving the magical concealment of a secret inside the chosen person, also known as a secret keeper. As long as their secret keeper refused to divulge their hiding place, then Voldemort would have been unable to find them.
Unfortunately for Mr and Mrs Potter, the secret keeper they selected was the traitor within the order. He was also James Potter's best friend, Sirius Black.
I still can't believe it, Sirius Black. That same Sirius Black, who I had first met at Lily's party, who I had seen James defend and who had stood by James at his wedding to Lily, yet now this. He was a man, who I know has many temperaments though I had seen him only four times, I'd seen him happy, sad, brooding and angry. The final one a sight, which I certainly could have done without…
"Oh, Lily" Whispered my mother, as she gathered my sister up in her arms.
"I said no," whispered Lily again, tears flooding down her cheeks.
Crouching down, I spread my arm tentatively over Lily's shoulder, and along with my mother began to slowly pull her up.
"Come on, Love, let's get a cup of hot chocolate," coaxed mother, drawing us both towards the kitchen, whilst staring anxiously at Lily.
We'd barely sat down in the kitchen, when he showed up with a sharp pop.
"EVANS!" he bellowed, striding into the kitchen. "How could you?"
I had just taken a large gulp of hot chocolate, and promptly spat it out when he entered.
" I hardly think this is the time, young man…" began my mother, setting down her mug.
"He loves you," Sirius went on, ignoring both disruptions, "You lead him on."
"Sirius," interrupted a new voice sharply, "You have no right to say that to Lily, especially after storming into her home uninvited. I think you should leave, no doubt James could do with some company."
Everyone in the room visibly flinched when he said the name, especially Lily whose tears intensified.
"No right? He's my best friend. She's nothing but a tease," shouted Sirius, red in the face, "He won't recover from this, Remus. You know it, I know it, she knows it, why pretend otherwise?"
"Because she has a name, and because you should get out of here, Black, before I decide to rearrange your face," replied a new figure angrily from the doorway.
"Meadowes," Spat Sirius, at the new girl that I recognised as Lily's fellow Gryffindor, Dorcas.
"Black," she mimicked, glancing worriedly at Lily. "Why don't you get out of this house? I think you have a friend who could do with some moral support- if you have any morals that is."
"She's right you know," piped up a new voice, "I don't want to leave him alone for too long."
"How is he?" demanded Sirius rounding on the other boy, "I can't believe you left him, Pete."
"I didn't know if Remus could handle you alone, and I knew he couldn't handle you and Dorcas, so I figured I sort of had to come. Anyway, James is fine."
"If by fine, you mean consuming large amounts of firewhisky, brooding, muttering about Lily and grunting in lieu of conversation, then yes I guess he is fine," supplied Dorcas sarcastically.
Sirius shot a dark look at Lily and Dorcas, before turning to Remus and Peter.
"I'll see you at the Potters," He muttered before disappearing, swiftly followed by his two friends.
In the week that followed, one or more of Lily's female friends would arrive promptly at 10 O' Clock; yet despite this my family watched as Lily became increasingly morose. I of course, was back living with Vernon by this point, so all news of Lily I heard through my mother.
It was on one such visit to see my mother, that I happened to pass Lily's room and heard her voice.
"Everyone wants to know why, don't they?" she muttered bitterly, " I would have thought it obvious. I'm a muggleborn- Voldemort hates muggleborns. He wants, not only to exterminate them, but their whole families- mothers, fathers, siblings, husbands, even children. Don't you see, Dorcas? By marrying James I'd be putting him at risk along with me. He's a pureblood; he would easily pass under Voldemort's new regime."
"So this is all about not putting James at risk?" exclaimed her friend loudly, "Maybe you should let James decide if he cares, I'm not sure that's your choice to make. Even then, since when did you let Voldemort control your life?"
"It's not just James though, is it?" continued Lily, ignoring Dorcas's interruption, "Marrying him would draw attention to me, and to my family. Now that isn't my choice to make. I already chose the wizarding world over their world, I won't choose my happiness over their lives."
Shocked out of my eavesdropping, I hurried away.
It was nearly two months after this, that I next saw my sister. In an attempt to stop my sister from brooding over James, my parents had persuaded her to take up a summer job in the neighbours Bakery, so it was only at evenings and weekends that she was at home.
One particularly warm Sunday, my parents decided to have a barbeque for the family.
"Ahh, Petunia, there you are!" greeted my mother, as she welcomed us into the garden. "Come and help me fetch the food would you, please?"
Knowing my mother as I did, I was unsurprised when she began to whisper hurriedly once we'd reach the privacy of the kitchen.
"Just thought I'd warn you, Lily's bringing someone- a boy. You might recognise him," she announced with a smile.
Given her warning, it was understandable that when Lily arrived, I expected the boy with her to be James Potter. Instead I found myself rather speechless when I discovered it to be one of our neighbours.
"Petunia, you remember Luke?" introduced Lily, "I'm working for his dad at the Bakers. Luke, this is Petunia's husband, Vernon."
It was odd to watch them together- and they clearly were- together, I mean. Luke was blonde haired, whereas James had been as dark as they come, though both were tall though, and fairly good looking. There were I suppose, two main differences. The first was that Luke was muggle and in that he and Lily shared one thing that James and she hadn't and the second difference, was Lily herself.
With James, Lily had been outgoing, laid back and happy, with Luke, while still being the same, she was simply less so. Instead of being the sun, giving off a bright light, she was the moon- simply reflecting a light that no one could see.
As more time went by, even my mother began to notice the change, and worried that Lily didn't see much of her school friends.
Finally, at my mother's insistence, three days before my sister returned to Hogwarts to teach, I took Lily out for coffee.
We started off alright, both divulging more than we normally would to fill up the awkward silence, but finally we could talk no more and both sat silently, acutely aware of the unsaid words between us.
Eventually I could put it off no longer. I asked Lily what my mother was so keen to know.
"Lily? Are you happy?"
"Happy with what, Pet?" asked Lily, idly shredding a sugar packet between her fingers.
"With Luke? The new job? With, well… Magic?"
"With magic?" repeated Lily incredulously, "I can't really answer that- magic doesn't make me happy or sad anymore, it's a part of me. I couldn't be happier with the teaching post, I can't see myself doing anything else."
"And with Luke?" I prompted, when Lily averted her eyes from mine.
"It's complicated," responded Lily shortly, shredding a whole napkin, before she finally spotted my raised eyebrows.
"It is!" repeatedly Lily adamantly, before lowering her voice. " James is a wizard, he understands the magical part of me, but not the muggle. It's the opposite way around with Luke. But I know, that if I'd married James, I would have lost my- well, muggleness, all together. Our children would have no idea of the muggle ways, and I would lose all sense of my muggle background. If I marry Luke, he'll never understand my job, or my teenage years, and yes there's a small chance our children might not be magical, but more importantly he'd be a link to muggles, to my childhood and our children would grow up knowing both worlds."
"I'm stuck, Pet. I'm neither completely magical, nor completely muggle and I don't want to have to choose. With Luke, I get at least part of both worlds, perhaps not the best of either of them, but I can't see another way."
With Lily's admission, I was shocked into silence. Maybe it's because she confided in me, maybe it's because of what she was saying, or maybe it's because I actually understood what she was feeling, whichever it took me a few moments before I responded.
"God, Lily. It's always all about you, isn't it?"
With Lily staying at Hogwarts during the week, and only returning for weekends, it was no surprise that I saw less of her than ever. I kept up with my sister's life, mainly through my mother, who assured me that Lily was still seeing Luke.
"I still think James is better for her," she confessed on Christmas Eve, "But she seems happy enough with Luke, and he is clearly quite besotted with her."
It was late January before I next saw Lily. She was sitting in the kitchen chatting to my mother while she cooked.
She certainly looked happier than the last time I'd seen her, though much more tired.
"Dumbledore's training all the staff," she continued, after the interruption of my arrival, "Just to protect the students mainly, although he did say something about making a stand."
"Sound's dangerous," pointed out my mother, " You need to careful, Lily, about what you get involved in."
"But…"
Ding-Dong. Ding-Dong. Ding-Dong.
"All right, all right" shouted my mother irritably at the door, " We're coming. Hold your horses."
Throwing down her cooking utensils, she bustled towards the door and out of sight.
"Yes?"
"Is Lily in?"
Both Lily and I looked rather startled by the man's response and immediately hurried to join our mother.
"Remus?"
"Lily, it's James. He's missing in action with the aurors."
"What?" Lily turned even paler than usual, "How…When…But he's not even an auror!"
"The ministry's a bit short on aurors at the moment, they're asking other ministry workers to volunteer, James did so."
When Lily failed to respond, mother took one look at her, and invited Remus in, so that we could all sit down.
"Maybe you should start from the beginning," suggested my mother, once we were all seated with hot cups of tea.
"Basically James and Sirius volunteered to join the aurors, a few months back, when the aurors were desperately short of fighters- and they just never stopped. Then four days ago they both went on a mission- the ministry has rough ideas about where Voldemort's base might be so they sent a group of aurors out to...erm… investigate as it were. That group never reported back. Theirs isn't the only group of aurors missing either mind, at least four other groups have been missing since that day. Alice and Frank- they're missing too."
Lily's sharp intake of breath was almost deafening in the despairing silence that followed his explanation.
"5 groups of aurors- that's how many in total?" asked my mother incredulously, "And your ministry have no idea where they are!"
"That's 25 aurors in total. Well, they know where some of them are." Remus had begun to look uncomfortable, "Several aurors from three of the other groups have been…found. Dead."
In the days that followed our house once again became a terminal for Lily's freaky friends. According to my mother, with Lily now on leave, Remus and occasionally Peter would arrive in the morning, and would be joined by Dorcas, Kat and several of Lily's other friends later on.
"It's almost like a funeral home," she admitted quietly over the telephone, "It's as if they're almost always on the verge of tears. They found more bodies yesterday, so it's not looking good. He was such a lovely boy. Sweet on Lily and loyal to his friends, but it makes me thank God that they're not married. If she were widowed at her age, she'd never recover-no one would."
It was nearly two weeks before they were found. I was home for a visit and discovered the letter from the Potter's was discarded on the kitchen table.
Remus,
We found them, or rather they found us. Staggered into a village called little Hangleton, and luckily a couple of wizards on our side spotted them. Heavily tortured. Taken to St Mungo's. Hurry and meet us there, it's still not looking good.
David Potter.
"I can't believe you slapped him," announced a voice from the kitchen, nearly a week later. "You stayed by his bedside day and night for nearly six days, just to slap him?"
"Well, I would too if someone I loved put their life at risk like that," supplied a second voice.
"That's not why, Kat. And I don't love him anymore," replied Lily with irritation.
"Well he certainly loves you. I can't believe his first word when he woke up was, 'Lily.' That is so cute," cajoled Katherine. "So why did you slap him?"
"Because he was stupid enough to get caught," Lily responded, before a sharp pop echoed through the kitchen.
"No need to guess where she went," smirked Kat. "I give it five days, max."
Without her even saying, I knew what she was talking about. Five days before Lily and James got back together? No, I gave it less. And I was right- it took just two.
End Flashback.
It's strange now to think about how different Lily's life would have been if she hadn't married that Potter boy. Perhaps she would have kept in contact, perhaps she would have been able to attend our parent's funeral- rather than being in hiding but I know for a fact that she still wouldn't have given up her magic. For she was Lily, and no matter how much it hurt anyone else, she has always put herself first.
As to whether or not she would still be dead, that I cannot answer. I would hazard a guess at yes, simply because she was a witch and being Lily would always stand up for what she believed in. Running away from what she believed in was never an option for Lily. She didn't choose to die the day she protected her son, instead she made that choice the day she joined the magical world- at the age of just eleven.
ok, just one more chapter and then the epilogue. I'm not soo delighted with this chapter as its much more Lily and James focused rather than Petunia. Please please review and tell me how to improve!
Coming up: Lily and James get married and a threat is made on the safety of Petunia and her family.