And already, we present the not-so-long awaited CHAPTER 2 of MC: DD PE (this fanfic)!

Link: Today, I retrieve the Fire Element, and Ezlo goes berserk, among other things!

Vaati: We only got one review…. –waves single review in air-

Link: Well, this story just started. Num, do more advertising.

I will. In the mean time, go kill stuff! I SEND THEE FORTH, RINKU!

Link: ­­­-.- Quit it.

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Link sighed as he trudged up the mountain. "I'm hungry. I'm tired. My back is itchy. There's a bird on my head. Where are we? Random nonsense is fun. I'm hungry. I'm-"

"SHADDUP, GODDESSES DAMMIT!" Ezlo cawed. "You're giving me a headache!"

"Well we gotta fill up this blank Microsoft Word document somehow," Link argued.

"How about we fill it up with you getting the Fire Element?"

Link at once perked up. "Oh, that thing? It's a family heirloom," he said pulling it out of his pocket. Yes, Link pulled the FIRE ELEMENT out of his POCKET before he even got to the Cave of Flames!

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" an omniscent voice boomed. Following the voice was the materialization of a phantom in a simple white dress and hair, purple and turquoise, tapering to her ankles. She quickly snatched the Fire Element and chucked it into a cave up on the mountain.

Link was clearly upset. "What was that for!"

The phantom turned her steel gray eyes upon them. "It is the will of Nintendo that you complete the game in order!" With that she vanished, leaving Link and Ezlo flabbergasted-ly continuing up the mountain.

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So, skipping the scene with Melari, Link and Ezlo entered the Cave of Flames, where they had encountered a mob of metallic ChuChus, which Link quickly dispatched with a Spin Attack. When Ezlo asked where the hell Link learned to do a Spin Attack, he just said it was from all the other Zelda games.

"You got the CANE OF PACCI!" chirped the text box. " It allows you to flip stuff over! YAY! Random Nonsense!"

Link grinned. "Yeah, Random Nonsense rules."

Ezlo braced himself for the worst.

"YAY! RANDOM NONSENSE!" Link and the text box exclaimed together.

Ezlo tried to keep himself from completely losing it….

"The sky is blue! The ground is rocky! Joebthegreat pwns! Windows 98 sucks! Eat more chocolate!" Link and the text box ranted in unison.

Ezlo failed miserably at clinging to his sanity. "I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORES!" With that he promptly went berserk, pecked Link repeatedly, brutally slaughtered the text box, and cleared the dungeon except for the boss. He returned with bloodshot eyes, panting heavily.

"Didjya have to do that?" Link whined. "That was fun."

Ezlo returned to his normal self (as normal as a hat can be). "Well, I couldn't pick up the Big Key, so you'll have to get it yourself. Which means you have to fight the boss yourself."

"No biggie," said Link, sucking up a Keese with the Gust Jar, not knowing what the Authoress had planned with that very Keese….

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So jumping ahead, Link was in the boss room fighting the Gleerok, which Ezlo initially mistook for a ChuChu because it roared. Link had just broken the beast's shell for the first time.

"Go up and hack at the thingy on its back, Link!" Ezlo quacked.

Link simply smirked. "Naw, I think I'll use my Amazing Minish Throwing Dart instead," he said grinning evilly.

"Amazing Minish…throwing…dart? Oh no…please no…HAVE MERCY HERO!" Ezlo pleaded as he was again chucked. This instantly killed the beast, and thus did Link reclaim his family heirloom, the FIRE ELEMENT!

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"Ok here's yer sword, laddie." Melari said in a crude Irish accent as he handed Link the White Sword. "Ye need teh go t' Hyrule Castle-"

"PRINCESS ZELDA!" Link cried to the skies, interrupting Melari's monologue. Realizing what he had done, he simply took the sword, grinned sheepishly, and left.

Melari sat there alone for awhile before announcing, "I have a rash."

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Link: You're cutting it SHORT?

Yup. Next chappy, we learn that Zelda can still talk! That, and Link kills some orcs. See ya'll then!

Vaati: But we only got one review….

Link: WE KNOW!

Fun Fact: Link had origionally said "My ears are pointy" during the rant. The text box had also been replaced with the Authoress (me). The rant has definitely made a big impact, and is one of the most memorable things to fans of the original (or so I gather).