WHEEE! I'M FLYING!
(-Link shoots Num down with a tranquilizer gun-)
Ow…. (-falls asleep; Link uses smelling salts, Num pops back up.
Huh? Oh, this is the new chapter, isn't it?
Link: Yuppers.
Oh…okay. Original content inspiration today comes from my sudden obsession with Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones skits.
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Link used his Pegasus Boots to dash to the first Kinstone cave, where he would obtain…guess. Inside was a Darknut, which Link used his AMTD on. However, the AMTD just destroyed the armor, not the roaring creature underneath….
…A CHUCHU!
"WTF?" wtf'd Link as the ChuChu threw Ezlo back at him! Link barely dodged, and picked Ezlo back up, striking once again. And thus did the ChuChu fall.
Numdenu materialized. "Okay, I'll save you some trouble, so take these two Kinstone pieces and this bow."
"But aren't there supposed to be three Kinstone pieces?" questioned Link.
"The other disappeared. Dunno where it went."
Link sighed and exited the cave, standing depressedly outside. He was screwed. His quest was screwed. And Zelda…yup, she was screwed too. If only he could find who had the last Kinstone piece….
"Psssssst!" came a whisper from a crevice next to him. A woman poked her head out, the hood of her cloak concealing her face. "Wanna buy a gold Kinstone piece?"
Link jumped up. "YES! How much?"
"Hmmm…I'll charge you 500 Rupees."
"But that's more than my wallet can hold!"
The shady saleswoman sighed. "500 Rupees or all of Hyrule is screwed."
"Who are you, anyway?" asked Link, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm Eir—uhhhh, none of your business, kid!" the saleswoman snapped.
Link glared suspiciously at the saleswoman before pulling off her hood.
"Ack!" yelped the saleswoman, who was revealed to be about 17, with turquoise hair and red and gold flexible armor. A sword hung from her belt.
"BY THE GODDESSES!" Link yelped. "IT'S A MERCENARY!"
Ezlo's beak dropped. "…Princess Eirika of Renias?"
"Oh, she's a princess? She doesn't look like Zelda, so how can you be sure?"
Ezlo sighed. "Eirika is from another game."
"And I would've gotten away with the shady salesperson life, if it weren't for you meddling kid!" Eirika scowled.
"Actually…" Ezlo pondered. "We won't tell anyone if…you give us that golden Kinstone?"
Eirika look rather upset. "Fine, take it," she said, handing over the coveted object.
Link did a happy dance and dashed off.
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"OPEN SESAME!" yelled Link at the stone chunk blocking his path. A sesame seed popped.
Ezlo would have slapped his forehead if he had hands. "Fuse the Golden Kinstones with the status first!"
"Oh." Link did so and proceeded.
After a boring while, Link turned to the camera. "Num? Can you skip us ahead a little?"
And so Num did…a little too far, in fact. Link was facing the Big Octo in the Temple of Droplets. "BACK! BACK! BACK!" yelped Link desperately.
Thus did Link somehow get the Mole Mitts and enter the boss room.
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Mazaal, the clockwork beast based off another boss in Windwaker, proved to be no match for Ezlo's direction-giving and Link's passion to save Zelda. The real trouble struck when Mazaal was defeated…it exploded with Link inside!
Link and Ezlo were teleported back to the dungeon entrance. Link reached up to rub his sore head, but his hand went right through his head! "Huh?"
Ezlo was stunned. "We're GHOSTS!"
"So now what?"
Numdenu appeared again with a ball of light. "For the love of anchovies, can't you do anything right?" She let the orb loose, and it materialized Link and Ezlo upon crashing into them. Yes, they're alive again.
"Now try not to die!" Num scolded before vanishing, leaving the Ocarina of Wind for the sake of simplicity.
"Hey, wait!" Link yelled. "What about the Element?"
Ezlo sighed. "The ASG says it's in the Cloud tops."
"Damn! Damn it all!"
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Next chapter, Link is on a quest for books!
And I have nothing more to say, because I know all of you will click that little review button without pestering…(hint)
Fun Fact: My own mom made a cameo in the original, if anyone cares.