SCHOOL EBIL! I have had NO free time!

Link: Actually, you had. You were doodling.

…Okay, so sue me. I still blame education. Worst thing is, it's stuff I already know.

Al: Claims she does of wanting to start an account on DeviantART. Say she has not enough pictures, she does.

Link: Dude, that's worse than Yoda!

…So, let's start this, shall we?

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The epic battle begins….

Ganon drew twin swords and charged at Link, who dodged and attempted a strike from behind and messed up because he was Chibi and thus too short. So Link tried another attack, his Spin Attack, which cut one of Ganondorf's arteries, but ultimately just made Link's tunic red. Then the Gerudo struck again, and swords rang against shield as-

Num sighed boredly. "Let's try a battle format, shall we?"

---EVERQUEST STYLE---

Link hits Ganondorf for 22 damage.

Ganondorf tries to hit Link, but misses.

Link's Angry Chibi Strike hits Ganondorf for 50 damage.

Ganondorf tries to hit Link, but Link parries.

Link hits Ganondorf for-

"BORING!" shouted and upset Num.

---FIRE EMBLEM FORMAT---

Link struck Ganon for x amount of damage, then Ganon hit Link for x amount of damage. And then Link hit Ganon for x amount of damage again, because he was faster.

Num sighed. "This doesn't work well. NEXT!"

---FIGHT A LA POKEMON---

Link used Slash!

It's not very effective….

Foe Ganondorf used Ebil Might!

It's super effective!

Link would have died, but he had a fairy, so yay!

"Ugh…boooring," groaned Num, her head in her hands.

---WTF---

Ready, steady, don't hold me back…

Ready, steady, give me good luck…

Ready, steady, never look back…

"ALPHONSE!" Num shrieked. "This is NOT time for J-Pop!"

Al jumped, clearly intimidated. "Ummm…sorry?"

---WHOOT GOLDEN SUN---

Link attacks!

Ganondorf takes 30 damage.

Ganondorf attacks!

Link nimbly dodges the blow!

Link summons Red!

And now there are two Links.

Ganon attacks!

Green Link takes 48 damage.

Green Link uses Lon Lon!

Green Link's health is fully restored!

Red Link summons Marth!

Ganondorf takes 123 damage!

Ganondorf summons Sephiroth!

Green Link is completely unfazed.

Red Link takes 1337 damage!

Red Link was downed….

"HOLD ON A MINUTE!" yelled a flustered Num. "Marth and Sephiroth? What the anchovy is going on?"

Al would have blinked if he had eyelids. "Anchovy?"

---SOUTH PARK…?---

Link and Ganon were now in that cutout South Park style animation.

"Oh my Goddesses, he killed Red!" exclaimed the original Link in a very Stan-like way.

"YOU BASTARD!" A green haired cavalier from Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones, apparently named Kyle, popped up and put in his two cents. No really, he stuck two pennies in his horse's ears.

"Okay, this is just stupid." Num rested her head on her knee. "Let's just…aww, for Photoshop's sake, just give the midget the blasted book, Ganon!"

Ganon sighed. "Fine…but I WILL RETURN!"

So Link got the third book, yay. Skipping ahead past lotsa junk, he defeated a slug groaning about Pepto Bismal and got the flippers. Huzzah.

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"Vaati, what the hell is in that box?" asked a confused Zelda.

The sorcerer grinned evilly (because that's the only grin he knows how to do). "Why, it's what I bought on Ebay!"

"You buy stuff on Ebay?

"Yup. Ah, my electric guitar!" Vaati pulled out a sleek black guitar with stylish teal streaks and a signature on the strap.

Zelda got curious. "Who's it signed by?"

"It says 'Ed'…"

"Who's Ed?"

"I dunno! It just says Ed!"

"Ed who?"

"Goddessesdammit, I don't know Ed who, it just says ED!"

"Maybe it stands for something…."

Vaati cleared his throat. "If I could try this out…?"

"Oh, sorry," Zelda apologized.

Vaati strummed some notes and began singing:

"A used ... pink bathrobe
A rare ... mint snowglobe
A Smurf ... TV tray
I bought on Ebay."

Dark Link appeared at this point with a red electric guitar and joined in.

"My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on Ebay.

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on Ebay."

Zelda's eye twitched, despite her petrification. "You're singing about frickin' Ebay?"

"It's not my fault I'm a guitar junkie!" Vaati whined. Dark Link decided to disappear about now.

"Oh…sweet Nayru…what has happened to this world…."

Vaati puzzled over the guitar. "What the hell does 'Ed' mean?"

"Well… it could stand for 'einor daro,' which is Hylian for…errr…eff you."

"You can't eff me!"

"No, that's what it stands for."

"So someone's flicking me off!"

"Well, we can't be sure…it could just be signed by some guy named Ed."

"Goddesses, this is too damn confusing."

Zelda decided to pitch an idea. "How about we let the reviewers vote on it and decide?"

"Ah, Princess, you never seem to run out of ideas."

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So, now you guys have got to decide. Is someone flicking Vaati off? Or did a guy named Ed just happen to sign Vaati's guitar?

Al: O.o Nii-san had a guitar?

It's not necessarily your brother, Al.

Link: Dude, Nissan is a car.

Al: No, Nii-san, Japanese for older brother.

Link: It's a car.

Al: It means brother!

Link: It's a car!

Dammit you two, shuttup!