Disclaimer: Jon and any other TP characters are not mine, but I can borrow them, right?
Jon - The Nature Of Ordeals: Most people assume that my first ordeal was in that damned Chamber when I became a knight. But it wasn't. My first ordeal occurred just a short time before that, when I and the page I then knew as Alan went to the Black City and faced the Ysandir. During that fight, so much happened. I discovered that 'Alan' was a girl called Alanna, and I knew how it felt to be pushed beyond your limits or strength, and yet survive because the gods helped you. I have felt the divine hand on me, and it is intoxicating and terrifying.
The Chamber of the Ordeal was no picnic either. I'm sworn never to tell what I saw, and I try not even to remember it, but... My worst fears. My most horrifying nightmares. The worst part? Some came true later. Some still haunt me, and I fear that they too, will become reality.
Becoming the Voice of the Tribes. The most rewarding of all my trials, because it allows me an escape. A time to breathe, to be someone else. But when it first happened... being all the Bazhir at once, being anyone but me, was the most frightening experience of my entire life. I could never do it again, or so I thought. But I would have to.
I won't talk about the Ordeal of Kings. It was a repeat of my Ordeal of Knighthood, only shorter. No, I'll go straight to my coronation. Roger had caused an earthquake, and I used the Dominion Jewel to stop it. I was everything. Every person, animal, plant, every stone. It was even worse than the Ordeal of the Voice, and yet so similar that it wasn't as frightening. That, or I was too absorbed in what I was doing to feel the fear. I managed, but I think I aged about ten years doing so.
And yet, none of my ordeals has hurt me emotionally as much as this one. Tonight, I sit in my study, my pen poised to sign a piece of paper. A paper to sign away a life. Not mine, but my daughter's. Kalasin. My little Kally. But she's not little anymore, she is a grown woman, and when I told her I would have to do this, she agreed calmly, obeying her duty. But inside, how does she feel? I crushed her dreams of being the first princess knight, and now I'm forcing her to leave her homeland. Thayet isn't here; she's with the Riders, but she agreed to a political marriage for Kally already, understanding the need. She'll be furious that I actually arranged the thing without her, though. But this man is a good one, I hope. People I trust speak quite highly of him. Daine, who spent the most time with him while in his country, says he shares in his land's beliefs, some of which bother us here in Tortall, but has a good heart. He had better. Because even though I'm agreeing to this, if Emperor Kaddar is cruel to my daughter, I'll kill him, diplomacy be damned.
So I sign the paper. And I walk outside, letting the cool wind comfort me. Why was this the hardest ordeal of my life? My only answer is that the nature of ordeals is not how terrifying they may be, but how much they hurt where it counts; your heart.
A/N: Wow. I think I may have gotten a few sympathy votes for Jon. Am I happy or sad about that? Jon is my love/hate character. He's good in Alanna books 1,2, and 4, and in the Daine books, but in WWRLAM and the Kel books, especially the first one, I really hate him! What can I say?