I don't own Pizza Cats or Mikado. The songs are taken from Mikado, with some words changed except Polly and Speedy's duet. That's 'Real Love' by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton.
Scene 2
A nearby street in Little Tokyo. It's a typical day, people are mingling, wandering around, carrying parcels, etc. A pizza place can be seen in the foreground. AL DANTE enters with a scroll. Proceeds to unfold it and read it as PEOPLE gather around.
Al DANTE (reading):
Hear ye, hear ye! A proclaimation from His Honor Seymore Cheese, the Lord High Executioner of Little Tokyo. Let it be know today that his Honor Cheese has hereby chosen the woman he wishes for a wife! ALL subjects of Little Tokyo MUST assemble in the Town Square in exactly one hour where he will make his announcement. Repeat, ALL subjects of Little Tokyo must stop what they are doing and report to the Town Square in ONE hour, no exceptions! Thank you.
(rolls up scroll and exits. PEOPLE talk amongst themselves)
WOMAN #1:
Big Cheese has chosen his wife! Well..who is the lucky..
MAN #1:
Victem!
WOMAN #2:
Whoever he choses is going to live in luxury! A big mansion, have all the money they want!
WOMAN #3:
But to have HIM for a husband?! Will it be worth it?
(door to pizza parlor opens, young cat woman in a green dress comes out- FRANCINE. She is pretty and sweet, but obsessed with money)
FRANCINE (hearing this):
It would be worth it for ME, all that money!!! (gets starry look in her eyes. Another female voice is heard inside)
VOICE:
Francine, stop daydreaming we have a lot to get done in an hour!
FRANCINE (inside):
Sorry, Polly. (goes back in) \
(SEVRAL GIRLS enter, chatting among themselves about who it might b that he'll choose. The WOMEN see them as music starts)
WOMEN:
Comes a train of little ladies
From scholastic trammels free,
Each a little bit afraid is,
Wond'ring who the chosen one can be!
Is this choosing but a world of trouble
Sadness set to song?
Is its beauty but a bubble
Bound to break ere long?
Are its palaces and pleasures
Fantasies that fade?
(Are its pleasures
Fantasies that fade?)
And the glory of its treasures
Shadow of a shade?
...
GIRLS:
Schoolgirls we, eighteen and under,
From schlastic trammels free,
And we wonder - how we wonder!
And we wonder - how we wonder!
Who on earth the chosen one can be!
Who on earth the chosen one can be!
(They exit as a young cat man comes rushing quickly back to the parlor. SPEEDY CERVICHE- a young very self-confidant cat in white armor. He can run extremely fast and is a valuable fighter as well as leader of his team.)
SPEEDY (out of breath):
An hour? We gotta be there in an HOUR?! Oh, Geez, that's not enough time to get ALL these deliveries done! (Door to pizza place opens and POLLY exits from it. She is very beautiful, although hot tempered, and is dressed in pink armor, she is in love with SPEEDY, and he with her. She runs to SPEEDY)
POLLY:
Speedy, are you alright?
SPEEDY (kisses her):
Oh yeah. Just out of breath. Gotta rest a minute.
POLLY:
We're having a ral busy day today, and with this announcement in an hour, it's bound to be even busier!
SPEEDY:
This announceent, why do we all gotta go? Who he picks isn't any of our business!
POLLY:
I'll get you some water. (goes back inside)
SPEEDY:
Thank you. Man, sometimes being a Pizza Cat is hard (music starts)
A Samurai Pizza Cat, I—
A thing of whiskers and fur,
Of swords, and speed, and power ,
And love for my country!
And love for mmy country!
My catalogue is long,
Through I might look like a stranger,
And when our town is in danger
Our team helps write the wrong!
Our team helps write the wrong!
Are you in sentimental mood?
We'll talk with you,
Are you in love!
On maiden's beauty do you brood?
Points to where POLLY left) I'll do so, too—
Oh, Polly, Polly!
She charms my willing ears
With songs of lovers' fears,
And sympathetic tears
If you are sad and low!—
Oh, my joy and sorrow!
But if patriotic sentiment is wanted,
I've patriotic ballads cut and dried;
For where'er our country's banner may be planted,
All other local banners are defied!
Our warriors, in serried ranks assembled,
Never quail—or they conceal it if they roam—
And I shouldn't be surprised if nations trembled
Before the mighty troops, the Samurai Pizza Cats of Little Tokyo!
[CHORUS enters repeats: And I shouldn't...etc.
And if you call for a song of the sea,
We'll heave the capstan round,
With a yeo heave ho, for the wind is free,
Her anchor's a-trip and her helm's a-lee,
Hurrah for the homeward bound!
To lay aloft in a howling breeze
May tickle a landsman's taste,
But the happiest hour a Samurai sees
Is when he's down
At his hometown,
With the woman he loves by his side!
And his arm around her waist!
CHORUS
Then when he's off duty, not saving our land,
To the pizza parlor he's bound.
His and the team all give us a hand,
Delivering pizzas through town!
SPEEDY:
A Samurai Pizza Cat, I—
A thing of whiskers and fur,
Of swords, and speed, and power ,
And love for my country!
And love for my country!
POLLY enters with a glass of water.
POLLY:
Here you go.
SPEEDY:
Thanks, Polly! (happily drinks.) Mmm..good water! (kisses POLLY, who sits by him)
POLLY (sighing):
It's a lovely day today, isn't it, Speedy?
SPEEDY:
Definitely. I just wish we had more time to enjoy it.
POLLY:
Well, it's been really quiet here these art few days..
SPEEDY:
Yeah, that's cause Big Cheese is too busy dancing around over his decision to marry.
POLLY:
Wonder who it's gonna be?
SPEEDY:
So does everyone else. Feel sorry for whoever he chooses. It's not right to force someone to marry you. It's not like they're ever gonna have what WE do. (kisses her even deeper tha before) God, you look beautiful today. I think you must have the most beautiful eyes in the whole of Little Tokyo. I love how they sparkle like this!
POLLY:
Oh, Speedy, I love you so much.
SPEEDY:
I love you, Polly. I think I've know that or the longest time, but I never could recognize it until recently. (music starts)
They say that it's a matter of trusting before love has a chance to begin
And it's never simple, faithless hearts can cripple
And only a strong love survives
POLLY:
I know they say that it's a fine line between giving up and giving in
But once your heart's been in it you just can't forget it
It's like nothing that you've felt in your life
POLLY and SPEEDY:
We got real love, not infatuation
Real love, our hearts' celebration
POLLY:
I love you
SPEEDY:
You know I love you, too.
SPEEDY AND POLLY:
Real love, not an imitation
Real love, you're my destination
Baby, you and me, we got everything we need
POLLY:
You are such a part of my life that I can't remember me without you
SPEEDY:
And we've had our nights, we've had our share of fights
But we've never thought of giving it up
POLLYL:
Oh, you and I we must be dreamers
'Cause we're making our dreams come true
SPEEDY:
I could spend my life just holding you so tight
And never, ever get enough
POLLY and SPEEDY:
We got real love, not infatuation
Real love, our hearts' celebration
POLLY:
I love you
SPEEDY:
You know I love you, too.
SPEEDY AND POLLY:
Real love, not an imitation
Real love, you're my destination
Baby, you and me, we got everything we need
(they kiss again as GUIDO ANCHOVY comes out. He is a so-called 'Ladies Man' who speaks in a cool southern-like voice. SPEEDY and POLLY are his best friends and he's do anything for them. He is dressed in blue armor.)
GUIDO:
Aw, come on, get a room, you two! The whole city can see you!
POLLY (teasing):
Jealous?
GUIDO (smiling):
Insanely. Now come on, get up you two, we gotta start making our way up to Town Square so Big Cheese can make his announcement we congradulate whoever it is and we can get back to work!
POLLY:
They might want a pizza to celebrate, we better go quick.
(they exit)
scene 3
The Town Square. It is brightly decorated with many colored streamers for this day and bunches of balloon are everywhere. A NINJA CROW is standing by a decirated podium holding a bouquet of flowers and another NINJA CROW is holding a gold necklace on a red pillow. The TOWNSPEOPLE have al;l gathered at the square. MAMA BOLLDOG is near the front with her LITTLE PUP. LITTLE PUP tugs at her arm as music starts.
LITTLE PUP:
Mama, mama, look! It's the Pizza Cats, they're here!!
MAMA (looking):
Well, so they are!
(SPEEDY, POLLY, and GUIDO then enter, brandishing their swords as all make room for them)
SPEEDY, POLLY, AND GUIDO:
Three little Samurais are we
Dressed as Samurais can be,
Prepareds to defend our fair city!
Three little Samurais!
POLLY:
Everything brings us such fun!
SPEEDY:
Bad guys aren't safe causee we all spare none!
GUIDO:
When you think we're done, we've just begin!
POLLY, SPEEDY, GUIDO
Three little Samurais
Samurais who all live at a pizza place,
To bring a smile to people's face,
But once duty calls we join the chase,
Three little Samurais,
Three little Samurais!
POLLY:
One Samurai is me, Polly!
SPEEDY:
Two Samurais is quick Seedy.
GUIDO:
Three Samurais is Guido Anchovy.
POLLY, SPEEDY, AND GUIDO:
Three little Samurais!
Three little Samurais!
GUIDO:
From three Samurais take one away.
POLLY
Two Samurais with something to say.
SPEEDY
Love had come and had it's way.
SPEEDY, GUIDO, AND POLLY
Three little Samurais.
Three little Samurais!
Samurais who all live at a pizza place,
To bring a smile to people's face,
But once duty calls we join the chase,
Three little Samurais,
Three little Samurais!
(All clap as AL DANTE takes the podium)
AL DANTE
Attnetion, attention, may I have all of your attention, lease! (all are quiet) Thank you very much. Ladies and Gentilemen, our Lord High Executioner, Seymour Cheese, will be here very shortly. I ask you all to give him your full and complete resect and attention!
GUIDO (snickering)
Full respect and attention, like that bozo deserves it!
POLLY:
Yeah, he ONLY tried to bur us all aliv with a runaway comet so w';d choosee HIM as Leader! Oh, how worthy of respectful (music starts)
POLLY, SPEEDY, and GUIDO:
So please you, Sir, we much regret If we have failed in etiquette
Towards a man of rank so high — We shall know better by and by.
POLLY:
But heroes, of course, must have their fling, So pardon us, So pardon us,
GUIDO:
And don't, remembering that comet thing,
Be hard on us, Be hard on us,
If we're inclined to dance and sing, Tra la la la la la. (does an exaggerated dance with his umbrella)
POLLY, GUIDO, and SPEEDY: (dancing)
But heroes, of course, must have their fling,
So pardon us,
And don't, in remembering your doing,
Be hard on us, Tra la la la la la, etc.
But heroes, of course, must have thir fling,
So pardon us, Tra la la la la la, etc. Tra la la la la la, etc.
AL DANTE:
I think you ought to recollect
You cannot show too much respect
Towards the highly titled few;
But nobody does, and why should you?
That Big Cheese must now should have his fling,
Is hard on us,
Is hard on us;
To our prerogative we cling —
So pardon us, So pardon us,
If we decline to dance and sing. .
POLLY, GUIDO, and SPEEDY: (dancing)
But heroes, of course, must have their fling,
So pardon us,
And don't, in remembering your doing,
Be hard on us, Tra la la la la la, etc.
But heroes, of course, must have thir fling,
So pardon us, Tra la la la la la, etc. Tra la la la la la, etc.
(BIG CHEESE then appears on the podium to huge fanfare)
NINJA CROW #1:
Ladies and Gentilemen, announcing the Lord High Executioner, our own Seymour Cheese! (all applaud and wave flags. PIZZA CATS and FRANCINE do it reluctantly.)
BIG CHEESE:
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Thank you my fellow citizens. As you all know I have gathered you all here today for a special announceent. As you know, I Seymour Cheese, by virtue of ,my post as Lord High Executioner, do reserve the right to choose a wife from anyone here in Little Tokyo. And I have reaches a decision! (all applaud again until h waves his hands and the clapping instantly stops) The one I hav chosen as my wife is the one who I believe has the courage, the bravery, and the smarts to rule next to me. The one I have chosen is one that I know if to be the most worthy and most beautiful girl in Little Tokyo! The one I have chosen, above all others…(there is a pause. BIG CHEESE loks to where the MUSIIANS are, obviously someone is missing their cue. He stamps his foot loudly, the DRUMMER stands. He gestures and the DRUMMER does a drum roll) Ladies and Gentilemen of Little Tokyo, I Seymore Cheese, the Lord High Executioner, hereby announce, my fiance! Miss Polly Esther!!!
POLLY:
WHAT?!?!
GUIDO AND SPEEDY:
NO!!!!!
FRANCINE:
Polly, you were chosen!!!
POLLY:
NO way in Hell!! (tries to run, but NINJA ROWS stop her.) NO, no, let me go!!!
NINJA ROW #1:
You were chosen, he has ickd you, you have no say in the matter!!
SPEDY:
POLLY! (POLLY, in a shower of applause is guided up to the podium and Big Cheese forces her to take the flowers. He picks up the necklace.
BIG CHEESE:
Niw by this necklace ay our engagement be sealed.
POLLY:
Never!
BIG CHEESE:
What, never?!?! (he slowly strts tio turn red) I chose you, you have no say in it!!! You're mine now!!!
POLY:
I'll never be yours!
JERRU ATRI (runs on stage):
Sir, sir, calm down, calm down! Dn't forget you're on thee stage, you're in a public placee!
BIG CHEESE"
You are my wife!! I chose you, I chose you, I picked you!!!
SPEEDY:
Leeave her alone! She's mine!
POLLY:
I love Speedy!!! Let me go!!
JERRY ATRIC (rushes to SPEEDY as music starts)
Young man, despair,
Likewise go to,
Polly the fair
You must not woo.
It will not do:
I'm sorry for you,
You very imperfect ablutioner!
This next week,
He has picked her,
Will wend her way,
And to him come,
With beat of drum
And a rum-tum-tum,
To wed the Lord High Executioner!
And the brass will crash,
And the trumpets bray,
And they'll cut a dash
On their wedding day.
She'll toddle away, as all aver,
With the Lord High Executioner!
It's a hopeless case,
As you may see,
And in your place
Away I'd flee;
But don't blame me -
I'm sorry to be
Of your pleasure a diminutioner.
They'll vow their pact
Extremely soon,
In point of fact
Next Thurday afternoon.
Her honeymoon
With that buffoon
At seven commences, so you shun her!
[Exit JERRY ATRIC
SPEEDY:
And have I courted for a month, or Nearly,
To learn that Polly, whom I love so dearly,
This day to Big Cheese is to united!
A: DANTE
The fact appears to be as you recited:
But once he calms down to suit his station;
He'll give you any further information.
(looks to stage) LOOK OUT!! (all go off stage and pull POLLY off as BIG CHEESE explodes and he is next scene covered in soot and ash,)
BIG CHEESE (groggily):
I'll give her my hand immediately, by the way where is my hand? (he falls down as curtains close)