The song is from 'The Mikado'
ACT II
Scene 1
A few days later.
The backyard of the Pizza Place. POLLY is sitting in a brand new pink wedding kimono as FRANCINE, CARLA and several GISHAS prepare her for her upcoming wedding.
GISHAS (sing):
Braid the scarlett hair —
Weave the supple tress —
Deck the maiden fair
In her loveliness —
Paint the pretty face —
Dye the coral lip —
Emphasize the grace
Of her ladyship!
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.
FRANCINE
Sit with downcast eye —
Let it brim with dew —
Try if you can cry —
We will do so, too.
When you're summoned, start
Like a frightened roe —
Flutter, little heart,
Colour, come and go!
Modesty at marriage-tide
Well becomes a pretty bride!
Modesty at marriage-tide
Well becomes a pretty bride!
CARLA
Braid the scarlet hair —
Weave the supple tress —
Deck the maiden fair
In her loveliness —
Paint the pretty face —
Dye the coral lip —
Emphasize the grace
Of her ladyship!
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.
Art and nature, thus allied,
Go to make a pretty bride.
[Exeunt CARLA, FRANCINE, and GEISHAS
POLLY (sighs and stares at the sky):
Oh, Speedy, I can't believe this day has finally come! It's like a dream come true. I feel like a Princess in a fairy tale, about to marry my Prince! I feel….I feel like nothing in th world can go wrong today!!
(sings):
The sun, whose rays
Are all ablaze
With ever-living glory,
Does not deny
His majesty--
He scorns to tell a story!
He don't exclaim,
"I blush for shame,
So kindly be indulgent."
But, fierce and bold,
In fiery gold,
He glories all effulgent!
I don't really mean to rule the earth,
As he the sky--
We really know our worth,
The sun and I!
Observe his flame,
That placid dame,
The moon's Celestial Highness;
There's not a trace
Upon her face
Of diffidence or shyness:
She borrows light
That, through the night,
Mankind may all acclaim her!
And, truth to tell,
She lights up well,
So I, for one, don't blame her!
Ah, pray make no mistake,
We are not shy;
We're very wide awake,
The moon and I!
(enter SPEEDY (in a bright white wedding outfit), AL DANTE, and JERRY ATRIC. SPEEDY stops and gapes at the sight of POLLY)
SPEEDY:
Wow…Polly! (POLLY turns to him and smiles) Wow..you're beautiful!
POLLY:
Thank you. You look unbelievably handsome yourself. (SPEEDY crosses over and kisses her tenderly)
SPEEDY (whispering):
Wow..I can't believe this day's finally come! God, you look amazing!
POLLY:
So do you, Speedy! Just a few more hours, and we'll finally be married! It's like something out of an opera. (reaches over to kiss him again, but AL DANTE stops him and beckons SPEEDY to follow him)
AL DANTE:
Speedy, I beg you do not get too happy, and do not lose your head. This IS, after all, only going to last a month!
SPEEDY:
Shhhh..I don't want Polly to know! This'll kill her!
AL DANTE:
Just be careful, that's all. (They return as music starts) This marriage is very limited, don't forget that!
POLLY (sings):
Brightly dawns our wedding day;
ALL:
Joyous hour, we give thee greeting!
Whither, whither art thou fleeting?
Fickle moment, prithee stay!
Fickle moment, prithee stay!
AL DANTE:
What though mortal joys be hollow?
JERRY ATRIC
Pleasures come, if sorrows follow!
POLLY: SPEEDY AL DANTE & JERRY ATRIC Though the tocsin sound, Though the tocsin sound, Though the tocsin
sound,
ere long, ere long, ere long,
ere long, Ding
Though the tocsin sound, Though the tocsin, dong! Ding dong!
ere long sound, ere long, Ding
Though the tocsin sound, sound, ere long. dong! Ding dong!
ere long.
Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!
Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!
ALL:
Yet until the shadows fall
Over one and over all,
POLLY:
Sing a merry madrigal,
AL DANTE & JERRY ATRIC:
Sing a merry madrigal,
Sing a merry madrigal,
Fa la la la la, etc.
(Ending in tears)
POLLY:
Let us dry the ready tear,
ALL:
Though the hours are surely creeping
Little need for woeful weeping,
Till the sad sundown is near,
Till the sad sundown is near.
AL DANTE
All must sip the cup of sorrow —
JERRY ATRIC:
I to-day and thou to-morrow.
POLLY: SPEEDY: JERRY ATRIC & AL DENTE
This the close of This the close of This the close of
every song, every, every song,
every song, Ding
This the close of This the close of dong! Ding dong!
every song every song, Ding
This the close of this the close. dong! Ding dong!
every song,
Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!
Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!
ALL:
What, though solemn shadows fall,
Sooner, later, over all?
POLLY:
Sing a merry madrigal,
JERRY ATRIC & AL DANTE:
Sing a merry madrigal,
Sing a merry madrigal,
Fa la la la la, etc.
(Ending in tears)
[Exeunt AL DANTE & JERRY ATRIC
POLLY:
What was all that about?
SPEEDY (shrugs):
Who knew they could be that happy? (smiles and takes POLLY in his arms ) I know I am! (kisses her. GUIDO then enters)
GUIDO:
Hey, hey, hey, you two! Ya can't do that YET until the Priest says so! (he laughs) So, do I even have to ask how both of you are today?
SPEEDY:
Just great, Guido. Thanks a lot for being my best man,.
GUIDO:
Hey, what are best pals for? I can't tell you how happy I am for the both of you! (he hugs them both) And again, I'm sorry about Lucielle. Honest, I'll try to talk to her.
SPEEDY:
Don't worry about it, in a few hours she can't do anything about this anymore.
POLLY:
Guido, I'm sure with time she'll see what a great guy you are.
GUIDO:
You guys mean that?
SPEEDY & POLLY:
Oh yeah, of course!!
POLLY:
Come on, Guido, you're a sweet guy, you're handsome, your brave and trustworthy, what's not to like?
SPEEDY:
Yeah. And you're the best friend anyone could hope to have! Really, she'll see that in time!
GUIDO:
Sheesh, any more compliments and you'll have to erect a statue! (grins) But seriously, thanks a lot. I needed that.
SPEEDY:
No problem.
POLY:
I gotta admit, Guido, that';s the first time I've ever seen you not be confident about a girl.
SPEEDY:
Well, Polly ya gotta admit she's the first girl to NOT fall for one of his lines since he was a kitten! (smiles) But honestly, Guido, you'll get Lucielle in time.
(enter BIG CHEESE)
BIG CHEESE (devilishly):
Well, well, well, what's going on here?
SPEEDY:
We were getting ready for our wedding, thank you very much!
GUIDO (suspiciously):
What do you want, Big Cheese?
BIG CHEESE:
Well, I got some news that I just found out..
GUIDO (fold his arms):
Yeah..what?
BIG CHEESE:
That concerns Polly's and Speedy's nuptials.
SPEEDY:
What about our wedding, Big Cheese? It's a little too lat to change you mind, in two hours, Polly Esther officially becomes Polly Esther Cerviche!
POLLY:
And I don't want it ANY OTHER WAY thank you!!
BIG CHEESE:
Would you be willing to die for him?
SPEEDY:
Not this again!
BIG CHEESE:
Would you die for Speedy?
POLLY:
I sure would! No hesitation about it!
SPEEDY:
Hold it, hold, it!! Why are you asking HER that question?!
BIG CHEESE:
Because I found out something…an ancient long lost law of Little Tokyo…..but in my defense I didn't know about this until now when I just HAPPENED to come upon it….
GUIDO:
What are you getting at?!
BIG CHEESE:
Only this my feline Samurai, that whenever a man is decapitated for flirting, his wife must then be buried alive!
GUIDO and SPEEDY:
WHAT?!?!
POLLY:
What is he talking about, Speedy?
BIG CHEESE:
Yeah, I think it's time now to let her know the truth!
POLLY:
What truth?!
BIG CHEESE (snarkily):
Ya see, my Dear, in order for Speedy to get me to break my engagement to you, and to allow him to marry you, he had to agree to let me exeute him in a month!
POLLY:
WHAT?!
SPEEDY:
I wasn't even gonna tell ya, Big Cheese promised he'd make it an accident. I agreed to it because it was the only thing that would have let me marry you.
BIG CHEESE:
Not to mention saved our town!
GUIDO:
What's happening to Little Tokyo?
BIG CHEESE:
If I don't execute one more person in two months the town gets reduced to rank of villiage!
GUIDO:
Village?!
POLLY:
So you tricked Speedy into making this deal?!
SPEEDY:
Even if it was only for one month, I'd willingly give my life to marry you! I love you, Polly, and I know that I'd have to be killed in a month, but it would have been worth it to marry you.
BIG CHEESE:
Not to mention the fact that I would have been right there to console the widow…
POLLY:
CONSOLE me?!
GUIDO:
Suddenly it all makes sense!
POLLY:
Like I'll ever let you get a centimeter near me!!!
BIG CHEESE:
You need consolation..
POLLY:
NEVER from you!!! (she gets angrier and angrier): How DARE YOU?!?! HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH TRICKING SPEEDY LIKE THAT?! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!! I'D DIE A WIDOW..OR I'D DIE WITH SPEEDY!!
BIG CHEESE:
According to tradition, you've got your wish! You die married to him or you become my wife and live! (music starts)
POLLY:
Here's a how-de-do!
If I marry you,
When your time has come to perish,
Then the maiden whom you cherish
Must be slaughtered, too!
Here's a how-de-do!
Here's a how-de-do!
SPEEDY
Here's a pretty mess!
In a month, or less,
I must die without a wedding!
Let the bitter tears I'm shedding
Witness my distress,
Here's a pretty mess!
Here's a pretty mess!
BIG CHEESE
Here's a state of things,
To her life she clings!
Matrimonial devotion
Doesn't seem to suit her notion--
Burial it brings!
Here's a state of things!
Here's a state of things!
POLLY and SPEEDY: BIG CHEESE
With a passion that's intense With a passion that's intense
I worship and adore, You worship and adore,
But the laws of common sense But the laws of common sense
We oughtn't to ignore. You oughtn't to ignore.
If what he says is true, If what I say is true,
'Tis death to marry you! 'Tis death to marry you!
Here's a pretty state of things! Here's a pretty state of things!
Here's a pretty how-de-do! Here's a pretty how-de-do!
Here's a pretty state of things! Here's a pretty state of things!
A pretty state of things! A pretty state of things!
POLLY:
Here's a how-de-do!
SPEEDY:
Here's a how-de-do!
BIG CHEESE:
Here's a how-de-do!
POLLY and SPEEDY: BIG CHEESE
For if what he says is true, For if what I say is true,
I cannot, cannot marry you! He cannot, cannot marry you!
Here's a pretty, pretty state of things! Here's a pretty, pretty state of things!
Here's a pretty how-de-do! Here's a pretty how-de-do!
BIG CHEESE:
Aw, too bad, guess there's no wedding today! Wonder what you'll do?! Hmm…(moves closer to Polly) Guess you have no choice, now you'll have to marry me in order to live Dear, Sweet Polly!
POLLY:
NO WAY!!!!
BIG CHEESE:
YES, way! If you wanna live you have to! (AL DANTE enters)
POLLY (kneels down and draws her sword):
Who says I have to?! This will determine that!
BIG CHEESE:
don't do anything foolish!
AL DANTE:
Put thast away, Polly, NOW!!
SPEEDY:
No, Polly don't!
GUIDO:
Polly, stop!
BIG CHEESE:
You'd best not raise that sword to me!
POLY (pointing it at herself):
Who said anything about yourself? If you kill Speedy, than so I go!
AL DANTE:
THIS is NOT the way of a Samurai!
BIG CHEESE:
Suicide you know is a capital offense!
POLLY:
Do I look like I care anymore you horrid peice of trash?! Bad enough you tricked Speedy but you expect me to marry you after that?!?! I'D RATHER DIE MYSELF!!! (prepares to commit hira-kiri)
SPEEDY:
NO!!!
GUIDO:
Wait, wait a minute! Polly, stand up! Big Cheese, you say you need someone to execute?
BIG CHEESE:
Yeah.
GUIDO (takes POLLY'S sword from her and stands in front of BIG CHEESE):
You've found one. Take me.
SPEEDY and POLLY:
WHAT?!
AL DANTE:
Guido, no!
GUIDO:
You heard me, jerk face. I'll die instead. Take my life for the two of them. Let them live! (h kneels down and gives BIG CHEESE sword) Go ahead. Take me instead.
SPEEDY:
Stop, Guido!
GUIDO:
Guys, this is for you. What are best friends for? (to BIG CHEESE) Go ahad, I'll take their place. Go ahead behead me right now. (BOG CHEESE looks surprised, then pleased. He raises his sword…but then starts to tremble. He looks nervous…then sweats….finally he throws the sword down in disgust. GUIDO stands up) What?! What?! I mean it, I ain't gonna fight ya…(dawns on him) can't ya do it?
BIG CHEESE:
I haven't executed anyone since I got this title.
SPEEDY and POLLY snicker
SPEEDY:
Ya mean you're the Lord High Executioner…and you never executed anyone?!
BIG CHEESE:
No..it was much easier to make these plans and want machines or my Ninja Crows to do it..I can't execute someone by hand! (notices SPEEDY and POLLY laughing) Stop that laughing!! STOP THAT LAUGHING!!!! STOP THAT LAUGHING NOW!!! (FACE TURNS RED) STO NOW!!!! (SPEEDY, POLLY, AND GUIDO gasp and race off…just in time for BIG CHEESE to blow up) Ooh!!! Stop lauging, Princess Vi will be here any day now to do her cheeck up..and I haven't executed anyone!
SPEEDY:
Ahh…to bad. Guess you're gonna have to find another line of work!
BIG CHEESE:
May I remind you that even if I'm striped of my position I'll still create machinee after machine, so much so that I'll drive you all crazy! I'll never give you any peace! (turns red again) I MEAN IT, I NEVER WILL EVER EVER!!
AL DANTE:
Wait, wait a minute, Sire! I think I have the solution!
BIG CHEESE:
What?
AL DANTE:
Princess Vi will be arriving in a few days for her inspection. Let Speedy and Polly go off and be maried, then send them out of town! Meanwhile I'll draw up a phony affidavidt saying that you executed Speedy. Vi will never know!
SPEEDY:
Al, what are you saying?
POLLY:
We can't leave Little Tokyo!
AL DANTE:
It'll only be a few days, just a few than you can come back. We'll send for you the moment Vi is gone.
GUIDO:
Meanwhile, I'll hold the fort down here, and I got the Reescue Team to back me up. Think of this is a short Honeymoon!
AL DANTE:
And as the current Archbishop of Little Tokyo, I can perform the ceremony right now! Come with me, Speedy, Polly, Guido, ad we have to get Francine. Come with me and we'll get you both married right now! (ALL exit)
BIG CHEESE:
SO..WAT..I DON'T GET TO MARY HER?!?! NOOOOO!!! THIS PLAN WAS FOOLPROOF SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO DUMP HIM AND MARRY ME !!!!! SHE WAS, SHE WAS!!!
(BIG CHEESE explodes as curtains come down)