Part 11: A Collection of Pointless, Pathetic Attempts Conducted by Ninja-Rosette in Order to get Edward's Attention.

Ninja-Rosette: they are not pathetic::cries:

Oh, cry me a river and fetch me an Edward so I can get over it.

Ninja-Rosette::still crying:

Ninja-Rosette::runs by Edward:

Edward::is reading and doesn't care:

Alphonse: how would Edward help you get over a river?

Seeing him drown in it might motivate me.

Edward: am I at least getting paid for it?

Do I look like I have money?

Alphonse: I don't think she has money, ed.

Ninja Rosette::runs by edward again:

Edward::is talking and doesn't care:

Winry::hasn't been mentioned yet In this chapter:

Ninja Rosette::runs to a nearby location, near enough to find her way back to the others, but far enough so that she's not in earshot: hey, critic.

Critic: WHAT NINJA NEED?

Ninja Rosette: I need for you to shut up, first off. I have a plan…

………………………………………………meanwhile…………………………………

Edward: hey, where's Ninja Rosette?

Alphonse: yea. And where has fluffy gone off to?

Edward: who cares about that stupid turtle?

Alphonse: I care about that stupid turtle!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fear the awesome power of EDWARD TORTURE!

Edward: actually, I haven't been tortured in this chapter.

What? Omg, I have rebelled against my loyal reviewer!

Edward: don't you mean "reviewers"?

No, I mean "reviewer". I should have "reviewers" but out of over 200 people, 3 decided to review.

Edward: that's still plural.

So? Less than one out of every hundred people care enough to review my story. And of the 3 people who did review, only one of them did it more than once. and I think we all know who that is.

Ken: yea. We should all show our gratitude to the poor special person. (insert annoying ken laugh)

Yea, really. What do you say, alphonse?

Alphonse: me? why me?

Because I am here to prove my insanity. Now please our reviewer!

Alphonse::starts dancing:

Start the music!

Edward::gets a CD player and plays "I'm too sexy" and hides under a random chair:

Alphonse: do I have to?

Of course you have to! S'him reviewed, now give S'him Shim's money's worth!

Alphonse: …I cant believe that I am doing this… :starts strip dancing:

Dare I ask your thoughts…? This was an Edward torture fanfiction, but I suppose it switched a bit…oh well. I am so sorry to anyone looking for a muffin in return for reviewing. I'm afraid I left them in a puddle after it rained this morning and…they are now covered in fungus.  it's so sad…now I need to actually write decent fanfiction to get reviewers, hunh?

The Feral Alchemist: so you are basically telling me that you picked the fungus off of the muffin, and left the muffin there? Eewwwwww, that's nasty. Just a little. Lol, no Yim for you. Do you have msn?