Scene 9
Interior of PRINCESS VI's throne room. PRINCESS VI herself is sitting on a pure gold throne set with jewels and a red carpet is leading right up to it. Her GUARDS are standing at either side of her. A door, at this point closed, is just to the right of the room. GUIDO and FRANCINE enter and kneel before her.
GUIDO:
Good afternoon, your Highness.
PRINCESS (sighs):
Oh Guido, if only that were true! (wipes away tears) Please on behalf of the Kingdom of Little Tokyo accept my condolences for the loss of your friends.
GUIDO:
That's true. It isn't every day that a guy loses two of his best friends.
PRINCESS: \
Well, rest assured we WILL bee giving them the BEST funeral imaginable! (to FRANCINE) are you FINALLY coming to your senses and prepared to hand over the body?
FRANCINE:
You might say that (starts to go toward the door)
PRINCESS:
Good, and as soon as Big Cheese finally gives in and tells us where Speedy is lieing we will have a big, intense, funeral for the two of them (to head GUARDS) YOU ARE ALL ABOUT TO AGREE?!
GUARDS:
Oh yes, oh yes, no question!!
PRINCESS:
Thank you. (to GUIDO) It's the least we can do for them.
GUIDO:
Thank you, Princess, but that really isn't necessary…
PRINCESS:
What do you mean? Of course it's necessary! They both deserve it! Nothing but the best.
GUIDO:
But you don't have to go to all that trouble!
PRINCESS (notices GUIDO is not really sad):
Why wouldn't we, Guido? Didn't you just say you lost two of your best friends?
GUIDO:
Well, yeah..(notices FRANCINE is right by the door, she nods) but you see, your Highness, in so losing them…they have found each other! (FRANCINE throws open the door and SPEEDY and POLLY enter arm-in-arm dressed in their uniforms. The GUARDS and the PRINCESS stare open-mouthed. Suddenly she screams and backs off into a corner)
PRINCESS:
A ghost, a GHOST!!!! Oh my God, GHOSTS!! GUARDS, PROTECT ME!!! (GUARDS surround the PRINCESS)
POLLY:
Wait, wait, Princess, we're not ghosts!! We're alive!
SPEEDY:
Yeah, Princess! Don't be scared, we're alright!! Look (touches the wall) Look, we can't put our hands through walls or anything! (touches FRANCINE'S arm) Look, can a ghost touch people?!
PRINCESS (realizing the truth):
Huh..huh..but..oh my God!! YOU'RE ALIVE!! THEY'RE ALIVE!!! (GUARDS all begin to cheer) Thank God!! But…wait..how..
SPEEDY:
Big Cheese and Jerry Atric almost tricked me into willingly allowing him to kill me in a month by promising me I could marry Polly.
POLLY:
But I wouldn't hear of it. I told Big Cheese if he killed Speedy I would kill myself right in front of him. I'd rather die than not have a chance to marry Speedy. So Guido offered to sacrifice himself in our place…
SPEEDY:
But it turns out that chicken Cheese couldn't execute anyone! He's too much of a wimp!
PRINCESS:
Well, THAT explains a lot!
POLLY:
Isn't that the truth?
SPEEDY:
So Cheese came up with the idea to send Polly and I to Titipu and he bribed Al Dante to draw up a phony death certificate and to tell Francine to tell you Polly killed herself. That way he wouldn't loose his position and made you think he executed me
PRINCESS (angrily):
THAT HORRID, NASTY RODENT!! HE LIED TO ME!!!! HE LIED TO ME, HE DECIEVED ME!!! HOW DARE HE DO THAT, HOW DARE HE LIE TO ME!!! GUARDS, LET AL DANTE OUT OF RISON, BUT LET CHEESE AND JERRY ATRIC KNOW THEY ARE BANISHED FOREVER FROM THIS LAND!!!
(LUCIELLE enters just then and bows to the PRINCESS. GUIDO smiles and puts his arms around her. )
LUCIELLE:
I was looking for you, Guido..(notices SPEDDY and POLLY and stands still as a statue. She starts to tremble with fright.)
PRINCESS:
OH GOD GET HER OUT OF HERE!!! (GUIDO lets her out and before log screams of 'GHOSTS!!" came alongside missles going off. LUCILLE comes back as POLLY runs to her.)
POLLY:
Lucielle, Lucielle, it's alright we're not ghosts!! Look (touches her) Can a ghost touch you?!
LUCILLE:
But..how..but..you..
SPEEDY:
No, we're not, Lucielle. We're not dead. That was art of a scheme by Big Cheese so he could try to keep his job. In fact, Polly and I are fine..(he slowly puts his arm around her) In fact..we're married. (cringes for her reaction…but LUCILLE only shrugs)
LUCIELLE:
It's about time!
SPEEDY ad POLLY look surprised
SPEEDY:
So, this us alright with you?
LUCIELLE:
Oh yes! Congradulations!
POLLY:
You know Speedy is off limits now?
LUCIELLE:
Who cares? (snuggles up to GUIDO) I've found my REAL soul mate! He's been here the whole time!
GUIDO:
That's funny, I've found my own Princess! (kisses her)
PRINCESS:
Wait, wait..you mean..you've eloped?!?!
SPEEDY and POLLY:
Yes.
PRINCESS:
Oh, we can't have THAT!!! Not for both of you!! GUARDS!!
Scene 10
Exterior of a church, surrounded by flowers. The doors open and SPEEDY and POLLY, both dressed in the finiest wedding clothes imaginable, emerge from Church. They are followed by GUIDO and LUCILLE, FRANCINE and AL DANTE, GOOD BIRD and CARLA, PRINCESS VI , and the CHORUS, who line the streets and throw flowers as music starts:
FRANCINE:
For he's gone and married Polly —
ALL:
POLLY!!
PRINCESS
Your troubles all pray bury,
For all will be merry,
I think you all had better succumb —
ALL:
Cumb- cumb
LUCIELLE:
And join our expressions of glee!
PRINCESS
On this subject I pray you be happy —
ALL:
Happy-happy!
(in the background BIG CHEESE and JERRY ATRIC are being dragged away to a raft. They are both struggling and yelling)
PRINCESS:
Your notions, though many,
Are not worth a penny,
The word for your guidance is "Mum" —
ALL:
Mum — Mum!
GUIDO:
We'll never see them again, hopefully!
ALL:
On this subject we pray you be dumb —
Dumb — dumb!
We think you had better succumb —
Cumb — cumb!
You'll find there are many
Who find their soul mates so ready,
Who'll find their soul mates so ready!,
To forever their lives be joined!
To forever their lives be joined!
To forever their lives be joined!
To forever their lives be joined!
GOOD BIRD:
The threatened cloud has passed away,
CARLA:
And brightly shines the dawning day;
SPEEDY:
What though the night may come too soon,
POLLY:
We've years and years of afternoon!
POLLY, SPEEDY, GUIDO, LUCIELLE, GOOD BIRD, CARLA, AL DANTE, PRINCESS:
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song
And merry dance,
With laughing song.\
SOPRANOS: OTHERS:
With joyous shout, With joyous shout,
with joyous shout and ringing cheer, with joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate, inaugurate their new career! Inaugurate, inaugurate their new career!
With joyous shout With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
and ringing cheer, Inaugurate their new career!
With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
With joyous, joyous shout Inaugurate their new career!
With laughing song and merry dance, With song
With laughing song and merry dance, And dance,
With song and dance. With song and dance.
[Curtain
End of Operetta