Chapter 18: " There's a Spouse in the House!"
Ed: hahaha, a spouse…
Whinry: you'd understand if you were married!
Ed: there's a spouse in the house, there's a spouse in the house!
Author: he has a point, ya know…you get married, and then it's happy for awhile, but then it ends violently and not only do you lose the love of your life, but they jack half your sht too.
Edward: hehehe, a spouse…so like, if they breed and stuff, are they considered spice?
Alphonse: spice? I barely know what a spouse is!
Edward: I did a good job sheltering you.
Whinry: oh really, Ed? Show him, Al!
Alphonse: -starts dancing- I am kinky in a can, yes I am, yes I am, I am kinky in a can…
Edward: I really dislike this…
Alphonse: -still dancing- I am kinky in the can, yeah I am!
Whinry: ok, that's enough Al.
Alphonse: kinky, kinky in that can, I am kinky in a can yes I am, go tell Sam, I am kinky in a can… -still dancing-
Edward & Whinry: -faints-
Critic: DRAMATIC DEATH!
-Enter Ken-
Exterminator Ken: where's the spouse? –long pause- are you the spouse?
Alphonse: no, im not a spouse! I'm kinky in a can!
Exterminator Ken: the dancer? From the Cat Scratch Club? THE kinky in a can?
Alphonse: yeah, that one!
Exterminator Ken: I am looking for a spouse. I think there is a spouse in the house…
Link: I will find said spouse for you!
yes. THAT Link. The one from Zelda, yeah…here we go…
Alphonse: thank you Link from Hyrule! As a reward, you can marry Edward as soon as he regains consciousness!
Link: I'm good on marriage, thank you though. No, as a reward you will hide me from that little punk a$$ btch Ruto.
Alphonse: WTF is a Ruto?
Link: never you mind. All that matters is that I will find your spouse!
5 minutes later…
Lazy Bum Ken: I'm glad you're here, Whinry Wife. It seems I can't see past my tummy, and therefore can't eat my Philadelphia cheese steak submarine sandwich. Feed me bitch.
Link: I am not your Whinry Wife. I am Link. Yes, THAT Link. And I am here to find the spouse in the house!
Lazy Bum Ken: whatever. Just get me sandwich and a job.
Link: nay, have at yee fool!
Lazy Bum Ken: that's not how you spell "Ye".
Link: whatever! Are you said spouse?
Lazy Bum Ken: are you said Link?
And then he thought about it… meanwhile, on mars-
Mousie: ok, you have my IM. Are you happy now? lol. And I don't think there's room for an 11 year old. Sorry.