(A/N: I am so sorry that took so long! I've been so busy with my winter concerts, and all my friends having emotional breakdowns I have to deal with, and shit like that .. the next update will definitely be quicker.
My fair fans, we have a winner! The winner of the cameo contest in none other than the lovely … GingerGlinda! Look for her in the last chapter .. trust me, you'll be wishing you were her .. XD
So here's the next chapter. I'm gonna try and break all your hearts here, people. You have been warned.
Wow. Longest Author's Note ever.)
Chapter Four: No Day But Today
The merry, flickering light dancing under his shut door and the bittersweet perfume in the air told Benny that another ghostly presence was in his apartment. As the clock stuck one, he crept cautiously out of the dark room and into the blinding glow exploding from the kitchen. He blinked in the sudden light. Out here, the pungent smell was even stronger; Benny wrinkled his nose, yet there was something about it that was oddly comforting. A laugh boomed out toward him, followed by the sound of clinking bottles.
"Benny! Come on, man! I don't exactly have all night here!" a resonant voice roared through the brightness. Benny felt a jolt of recognition.
"Er … I'm coming!" Benny called weakly as he tiptoed down the hallway and into the kitchen. I don't know how much more of this I can take, he thought bitterly as he peered through the light. Slowly but surely, Benny was able to make out the imposing figure of Thomas B. Collins (A/N: huggles!) casually tipping back on two legs of his favorite chair, laughing.
"Benjamin Coffin the Third! Merry Christmas, bitch! Long time, no see!" Collins grinned as he leaped to his feet and enveloped him in a suffocating hug. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Benny reflected that this was the second time in one night he was being crushed by a ghost.
Benny looked up at his old friend. Physically, Collins looked the same – the old beanie, his prized leather coat, a joint hanging out of his mouth. He looked healthier than Benny could remember to have seen him, with meat on his bones and a goatee that lacked the wisps of graying hair. However, there was a strange light in his eyes; it seemed oddly familiar, yet Benny could not place it.
Collins chuckled as he took in Benny's dazed expression. "Angelcake told me you were a little freaked out by all this," he commented, flashing a grin at the ceiling. With a jolt, Benny realized that the light in Collins' eyes came from love – he was with his Angel again, and blissfully content.
"You do seem a little messed up," Collins observed matter-of-factly. "Luckily, I am always prepared in the face of an emergency, and have a feast here for you, my friend." He gestured to the small assortment of goods on the table. "We have Capt'n Crunch, we have Stoli, and we have weed. What more could you want?" He lifted the joint to his mouth and took a long drag. "Come and sit with me."
Benny stood rooted to the cold tiles for a few seconds, before sliding into a chair next to him. Collins gestured to the small feast in front of him as he took another long drag from his joint. Benny apprehensively lifted the bottle of Stoli to his lips and took a small swig. It seemed real enough.
Collins laughed again. "That's the spirit, boy!" he boomed, but sobered up almost at once. "Or maybe not. That's why I'm here, ain't it? To make you joyful and generous and able to foster a goodwill toward mankind. Though," he added, eyeing his joint thoughtfully "weed can do the same thing, but the Ghost of Christmas Present sounds much more impressive, doesn't it?"
"Um … sure?"
"Sure as hell it does."
There was a silence. Collins merely took another drag from his joint. Eventually, Benny cleared his throat.
"What? Oh." Collins jumped, evidentially remembering his task. "Okay, lets get this show on the road. Come on, up you get." He hoisted Benny to his feet. "Here." Collins thrust his precious beanie into his hands. "Wear this."
Benny looked at it reverently. He had never actually gotten to touch the beanie before. It was a sacred moment. "Are you sure?" he asked timidly.
Collins rolled his eyes. "Of course I'm sure, you dipshit! Now put that on" –he jammed the beanie onto Benny's head – "and away we go!"
And then they were in the night sky again, soaring through the twisting streets of Alphabet City. Benny swooped down over a tent city, seeing broken figures huddled around their makeshift fires, craving the warmth. Each lonely, fallible person was a story in itself, a tale unraveled. One lone figure was humming some sort of twisted carol to himself: "… no room at the Holiday Inn, oh no! And it's beginning to snow …"
"Christmas, ABC city style," Collins muttered, watching the shadows dance off of the dilapidated buildings. They hovered for a few more seconds, before Collins dragged him through the bone-chilling air and down Avenue A. They glided right through a building (Benny winced horribly, but managed to regain his composure) and right into the loft, of all places.
Benny grinned. Ah, the loft. It looked much cleaner than he remembered, but some attributes to the old life remained: for instance, the mold on the kitchen wall had sprouted another grey-green branch. Mark sat on the couch, cleaning his camera lens. All was tranquil; it could have just been another day at the loft. As though designed to upset the delicate calm of the room, the door banged open.
"Marky!" In all her diva glory, the voluptuous figure of Maureen Johnson stood silhouetted in the doorway, her dramatic pose offset slightly by the large box she was carrying. Mark jumped up, startled, before collapsing weakly onto the couch again.
"Jeez, Mo," he panted, staring at her with wide eyes, "Don't do that!"
"Sorry, Marker," she giggled. "I'm just full of the Christmas Spirit, I guess." With an oof, she dropped the box off on the table. "Damn, its so fucking cold in here!"
"What else is new?" Mark scoffed, then leaned in eagerly. "What's that?"
"Chinese food!" Maureen exploded gleefully. "Yes – I, Maureen Johnson, have "borrowed" some of your money and splurged on a Christmas Feast for all of us! And I'm home a hour earlier than I told Pookie – can you imagine how surprised she'll be when she sees me home with food?" she said enthusiastically, her eyes wide.
"Probably not as surprised as Miranda."
"True." Maureen collapsed onto the couch next to him. Mark cleared his throat pointedly.
"What?"
"Any particular reason why you're being so nice?" Mark asked with an arched eyebrow. Maureen grinned.
" 'Cause it's the anniversary of everything," she said simply. Mark smiled, remembering the happier times. Oh yes – that one magic night that altered the course of history for ever more.
"Auntie Moo! Auntie Moo!" A small, dark haired figure came barreling out one of the rooms. It was the frail figure of Miranda Davis, Mimi and Roger's little daughter. She wrapped her arms around Maureen's legs, laughing.
Benny stood rooted to the spot, shocked. The resemblance between her and Mimi was uncanny: they had the same soulful brown eyes, the same waterfall of curly hair, the same smooth cinnamon skin. Most of all, they shared that same special something that made Benny love Mimi so much –the sparkle in her eyes, the tinkling tone of her laugh, the delicate way her body moved was all reproduced in miniature.
Maureen gave a false shriek of fright. "Minachica!" she gasped dramatically, clutching her heaving chest, "Don't scare me like that!" Miranda giggled, pleased with the play-acting. Maureen must be great with children, Benny though, amused. She finally has someone who likes the drama. Miranda's eyes widened as she sniffed the air.
"Uncle Marky! Auntie Moo brought food!" she gasped, glee lighting up her little face. Mark chuckled.
"Yes she did, honey. How about you and me set the table, okay? We want to surprise Auntie Jojo, don't we?"
"Yep!" Miranda chirped, skipping over to take his hand. As if on cue, a thoroughly ragged-looking Joanne came through the door, overstuffed briefcase in hand.
"Hey Mark," she said wearily, throwing her bag down. "I didn't have time to pick up –" she broke off, stiffing the air. Slowly, she turned to see a grinning Maureen standing by the Chinese food.
"Sweet and Sour sauce for your dumplings?" Maureen offered innocently, holding up a white carton. (A/N: Mo is so dirty .. I love it.)
In two strides, Joanne crossed the room and enveloped her lover in a passionate embrace. Tenderly, she pressed her lips against Maureen's, muttering "You're amazing" before launching into a heated kiss. Mark quickly averted his eyes, but not before Benny could notice the shadow of pain marring his fragile blue. Once the lesion has been made, the wound never fully heals, Benny reflected wryly. I would know.
The kiss was broken by Miranda pulling on the leg of Joanne's pantsuit. "Auntie Jojo?" she asked, timid. Joanne broke the kiss and smiled down at her.
"Why, hello there young lady. Do you need something?" she asked, mock-surprised. Miranda giggled again. Apparently, she was a big fan of play-acting.
"Food," she stated matter-of-factly. Everyone laughed appreciatively.
"Amen!" Maureen hollered. She began loading the food onto the coffee table. "Okay, I got veggie dumplings, I got Moo-Shu pork, I got Young Chow Fried Rice – without the shrimp, Marky, 'cause I know you're allergic – I got Lo Main and Chow Main and all the other Mains, and … I got Stoli! And grape juice for the midget, of course. Dig in, my friends!"
Mark ran into the kitchen, grabbed a handful of utensils, and sprinted back to the couch. Everyone grabbed whatever he or she needed and dug in. It was obvious that abundant food was a luxury around the loft: for several minutes, everyone was too busy stuffing his or her face to talk. Then, after three quarters of the food was gone, Mark spoke up.
"So … I believe a toast is in order." He raised his bottle of Stoli. "To Benjamin Coffin the Third, the provider of this meal!" Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded. Maureen snorted loudly.
"As if. Never will I toast that bastard, except if I'm toasting his ass on an open fire," she spat. Joanne nudged her.
"Language, Honeybear," she admonished. "But I do agree … he's pays Mark more than I normally get, so he puts food on the table, whether he likes it or not."
"Ri-i-i-ght. Well, it would be better if he paid for the AZT, at least."
"Beggars can't be choosers, Mo. And we are most certainly beggars," Mark said dryly. Joanne laughed.
"Exactly. Come on, Maureen. Drink to his health." She raised her bottle encouragingly.
Maureen pouted, then sighed. "Fine … to Benjamin Coffin, who pays Marky," she mumbled grudgingly before taking a swig.
"See … that wasn't so hard, now, was it?" Mark grinned at her.
"Shut up." There were another few minutes of silence, before Maureen's natural enthusiasm took hold.
"So, Christmas it tomorrow, Mina!" she squealed through a mouthful of Moo-Shu pork. "Aren't you excited?"
"Uh-huh!" Miranda chirped. Then, bashfully, "Uncle Marky? Is Santa really gonna climb down the fire escape and bring me a new doll?"
Mark exchanged a glance with Joanne. Joanne nodded ever so slightly. Mark relaxed, grinning. "He sure is!"
"That's good!" Miranda smiled, then stiffened, a look of horror crossing her face. "Oh my gosh! Oh no!" All the color drained out of Mark's face. He leaned forward, gripping her arm.
"What? What happened? Do you feel sick? Do you need your inhaler?" he demanded urgently. Maureen poised herself, ready to spring to the phone if necessary.
"No …" Miranda wailed. "We didn't make Santa cookies! He won't come if we don't have milk and cookies!"
"Oh …" Mark relaxed, taking a deep breath. Maureen let out a nervous giggle.
"I'm on top of it, Minachica!" she grinned, producing three fortune cookies from the box. "Tada! Santa gets a yummy treat and his future read! Do you think you'll maybe get an extra toy for that?" Joanne shot her a look, and Maureen quickly backtracked. "You probably won't … Santa gets his fortune read all the time … he has a special elf that can see the future for him!" she invented wildly.
"Really?" Miranda's eyes were as big as saucers. "What's its name?"
"Um … Evita," Maureen said seriously, glancing at the two adults out of the corner of her eye. Mark stifled his snort of laughter, and the corners of Joanne's mouth twitched.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The jarring, discordant alarm shattered the warm tranquility of the loft. Benny jumped. The dynamics of the cute little family had seduced him, tricked him, gave him false hope that all was well in their small world. And yet, the elusive shadow that is death was there: it tossed aside its painted mask, and unfurled itself for the entire world to plainly see.
"AZT break," Maureen muttered, and then made her voice falsely cheery. "Okay, honey, time for your vitamin!"
"But I don't wanna," Miranda whined.
"Don't let Santa hear you saying that," Mark warned. "After all, its not Christmas yet!"
Miranda let loose a dramatic sigh worth of Maureen. "Fine," she huffed, and held out her hand for the pill. Maureen pulled the small white bottle out of her bag and gave her one. Miranda inspected it, holding the tiny pill up to the light.
"Mommy and Daddy used to take these," she announced wonderingly.
"Yes, they did," Mark said, a fond smile spreading across his face. Miranda brightened.
"I'm just like them, aren't I? We take the same vitamin!" she grinned proudly. The smile slid off of Mark's worn face. He sat there like a broken doll whose paint is cracked and faded, unable to talk. It was Joanne who answered her instead.
"You sure are, honey! Now hurry up and take that pill!" she said brightly, trying to mask the grief and pain in her voice. Miranda gulped it down. She sat there for a few seconds, pondering.
"Uncle Marky?"
Mark cleared his throat, trying to regain composure. "Yes?"
"I miss Mommy and Daddy," she said timidly, her voice small and sad.
Mark died a little inside. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the unbearable pain these five little words caused him. "I miss them too, Miranda," he whispered, his voice breaking horribly.
Benny felt a surge of rage. Life was so incredibly unfair to Mark. Everything he needed in life was taken away from him. Not wanted – needed. He needed Mimi to remind him that there was spontaneity and laughter left even in the darkest of times. He needed Collins to reassure him that there was some goodness left in the cold, unfeeling city of neon and chrome. He needed Roger to force him to live, not to detach from being alive. He needed Angel to tell him to follow his heart, his passion, his life.
Maureen sniffed loudly. Joanne assumed responsibility.
"Bedtime, honey. Say goodnight," she told her, sounding like she had a bad head cold.
Miranda smiled softly. " 'Night, Auntie Moo and Uncle Marky." She kissed them both on the forehead. "I love you both so much."
"We love you too, honey," Maureen said softly.
"Sweet dreams," Mark added hoarsely as Joanne lead her away by the hand. There was a moment of silence. Then, Maureen was in Mark's arms, clutching his sweater frantically, trying to muffle her sobs. Mark wrapped his arms tightly around her, letting his tears leak onto her curly hair. They stayed like that for a while, not talking, just listening to Joanne sing Miranda to bed.
" …the story never ends … Let's celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends! Remember the love … oh you got to, you got to remember the love!" Joanne's sweet voice broke a little as she tried to keep control. She was not just singing a lullaby, but a reassurance. A plea to remember the time when they were happy, they were free, they were whole.
Benny gazed sadly at the two shattered figures sitting on the couch, his heart breaking. Why? Why them? The question chased itself around in Benny's mind as the scene in front of him dissolved into the city street below.
"Depressing, isn't it?" Benny started. He had forgotten completely about Collins. Collins stood there, pain evident on every inch of his face. It killed him to see his friends like this.
"Yeah …" Benny muttered, trying to keep the tears in his eyes from brimming over. He cleared his throat. "Is she … going to live?"
"Not for long." These three words pierced Benny's mutilated heart better than any knife ever could.
"There's no way … no one can save her …?"
"Perhaps. If you tried." Collins turned to glare at him. Benny winced.
"Its not my business –" This was, apparently, the wrong thing to say.
"Is it ever your business? When your friends are cold and freezing because of you, is it your business? When hundreds of homeless people are beaten by cops you put on standby, is it your business? When the love of your life dies and leaves her dying child behind, IS IT YOUR BUSINESS?" Collins thundered, his eyes piercing.
Benny defended himself weakly. "I didn't want to start trouble. I just wanted –"
"– TO SUCCEED!" Collins roared. "Well, here you have it. Your what your success has produced." With that, he cast aside his coat to reveal two starving children. Their eyes were dark and haunted, their cheekbones sunken in, their bones showing through their tattered rags. Benny recoiled, horrified.
"Meet Ignorance and Want, Benny. Fear them, especially Want. Yeah, you wanted to succeed. Well, join the club. Everyone wanted to succeed. More than that, everyone wanted to keep living under a roof, or in whatever little makeshift area they could find. But you didn't give a shit what they wanted, did you?" Collins snarled, advancing.
Benny spluttered incomprehensibly at him, terrified.
"No, Benny, you only cared about yourself. That's why Mimi left you in the end. That's why you lost all your friends. You only want for yourself, not anyone else!" With that parting shot, Collins crumpled onto the broken sidewalk just as the clock struck two.
(A/N: Wow. This chapter was an emotional rollercoaster for me. I actually cried while writing about Miranda missing her mom and dad .. which like never happens. Did I break your hearts? You were warned, I must say. The beginning was funnier than had intended, so it offset the entire piece nicely. I mean, if that wasn't funny, I might have killed myself due to extreme depression!
Moving on .. yay! Mojo and Marky!! I LOVE WRITING MAUREEN!!! IT MAKES ME HAPPY!!!! You'll see more Mojo and Collins/Maureen friendship coming from me, let me tell you.
Okay, next chapter: Benny comes to terms with his past. Second to last chapter. I'll update soon, don't you worry .. XD).