It's almost too easy. It is too easy. What are you forgetting Ace? It really shouldn't be this easy to break Mr. J out. It's like this city is expecting someone guy in a cape to show up and fix all of their problems. How silly is that huh? Of course you used to think a guy running around in a purple suit with his face painted up like a clown was silly to.
I can still remember the first job I ever pulled with Joker. I was still with the CIA back then. I loved those oh so wonderful days hiding out in Seoul, South Korea. I can still remember the day we got word from Langley that they were sending some kind of specialist. They hadn't given us many details, just that we were going to be smuggled across the DMZ into Pyongyang and that we were to listen to this new guy. Langley said if we did it would help destabilize the country and allow a new regime to overthrow Kim Jong-il.
The other agents and I had certainly been expecting someone a lot different than Jack. Most of them laughed at his suit or joked about his makeup when he wasn't looking. Another agent named Slade Wilson, we called him Deathstroke because of how good he was at killing people, and I were the only two people who knew how bat shit insane Joker was. We always knew what he was capable of.
"How goes the telethon Ace? Any sizeable donations yet?"
I fucking hate when he sneaks up on me like that and cackles. He's so God damn quiet.
"What's wrong Ace? Did I startle you?"
"Oh…no Mr. J. I was…uh, I was just reminiscing. As far as recruiting, well that's proving more difficult than usual."
"And why is that?"
"I have to keep going younger and younger with our hires. The older, more experienced mercenaries won't come near us. People who work for you have a rather nasty of ending up dead within a month or two of their first job."
"Well what about you Ace? Can't you just tell them you and I have been together for…how many years is it now?"
"Ten. Ten long years Jack."
"Oh yes now I remember. Pyongyang in the summer. Poisoning Taedong River…leaking some nuclear material in the middle of the market district…blowing the Juche Tower to smithereens!"
Most of our team had died in Pyongyang. Those of us lucky enough to survive the bullets, explosions, and radioactive waste were black listed by the boys back in Langley. Everything about us was erased. Social security, birth certificates, dental records, any knowledge of us ever existing. Only Slade Wilson made it back to the states. The night of the Juche Tower demolition Joker told me about a job he had taken with some Chechen rebels. I was recently out of a job and Jack told me it paid well so we went west, to Moscow.
"Yeah those were good times I guess. I always preferred Moscow though. Hunting down ex-KGB agents. Those nerve gas attacks on the Moscow Metro."
I remember when I used to have this kind of code. No kids, women only when I absolutely had to, and never anything excessively painful. But being with the Joker changes you. When you see one man carve another man up into pieces as many times I have, you don't really notice when you become the one doing the carving. Maybe you've just lost your mind to Ace. Shit…you didn't used to talk to yourself in the past tense.
"That was indeed fun. Watching those Russkies run out of the Metro entrances screaming for help. 'Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! My face! Oh God my face is melting! Ahhhhhhh!' It was hilarious."
Something about his laugh makes me laugh to, which is strange because his laugh makes most people's skin crawl.
"Well what about the thing I really want? Any luck with that?"
"A hacker? Yeah Mr. J I can get one. He's actually based here in Gotham. Judging from what I hear from my people this guy is pretty good to."
"Oh goody. Do tell Ace…what's his name?"
"All I have is a screen name…e-Nigma."
"Where can we find him?"
"You're going to get a kick out of this Jack. The kid goes to Brentwood Acedmy."
It's a deeply disturbing thing, looking the Joker in the face when he isn't smiling. Those eyes of his are staring right through you Ace. They're boring into your mind as if to say 'Remember Ace…I'm the one who makes all of the jokes around here.' But there's a smirk, a full blown laugh.
"Yeah, I suppose I do get a kick out of that. Contact Mr. e-Nigma and set up a meeting, then finish making your phone calls. I want to have ten or so men by the time we go to Brentwood, and make sure you get enough clown masks."
"Ten guys? What do we need ten guys for Mr. J?"
"Don't you worry Ace. It's all part of the plan. I'm going to work on some new material. I wouldn't want to disappoint the rich little kiddies."
It's never a good thing when Joker walks laughing to himself. Whatever he has planned…it is most certainly not a good thing for the children of Brentwood Academy.