I lie on my back, staring up at the sky. For once there is no snow falling, the sky is clear. There is no sound in the forest, just the sound of my own breathing. I stop. Now there is silence. Before, there was light and noise. Now there is a cold, dark, silence. I wish I could cry. A boy steps out of the woods. He has the pale skin of all the vampires, his eyes are black, they match his hair. His face is sharp and thin, he has high cheekbones and full lips. His eyes are sad and full of longing. He walks toward me, slowly with his hand held out, like I am an animal that will shy away at his presence. I can see myself through his eyes, laying on the snow, barefoot, my long mahogany hair fanning around me, topaz eyes full of pain. There is a reason for his hesitance. He doesn't speak; he doesn't want to break this spell. I could tell him that this false. It will never last, but I humor him. I don't move, don't speak. He smiles, and whispers.
"I won't hurt you."
"I never said you would." I am surprised by how shaky my voice is. He glides over, moving at vampire speed.
"You look scared." There is nothing to say to that, so we just lay there. Watching the clouds drift by, the sun sparkle off of the snow, the way we glittered.
I have stopped. Trying is no longer realistic. I don't want to pretend. So instead I sit in a meadow next to a boy. A boy who believes in first love, true love, just love. He wraps his arms around me and we find shapes in the clouds. He brings me roses and heaps them on my bed. I love the scent, so full it stuns me. He lights candles and twirls me around the room in time to classical music. My family is happy because I am happy. They are glad that Owen makes me smile and laugh. And he does, he makes me happy, he loves me and maybe that is enough.