A/N: Hey everybody! I'm sooo sorry I took so long to post! Damn school gets in the way again… you may have one this round, school, but I will have my day!!! (shakes fist angrily in the air) Wha—? Oh, sorry. Well, here you go!

The walk to the Three Broomsticks was… interesting, to say the least.

Narcissa was her dull self as usual. The only things the woman ever talks about are:

-Blokes (well, I don't know if count Snivellus or that bastard Lucius as REAL blokes…)

-Shoes (as if she didn't have enough already!)

-Kirley Duke (lead singer of the Weird Sisters, for those of you imbeciles who don't know)

Anyway, she was talking nonstop, and everybody was pissed off at her, and Lily decided to blame it on me.

"Sirius, you really need to tell your girlfriend to stop talking! I can't stand it anymore!"

We were in the middle of Hogmeade Square, and I didn't want to make a scene.

Hmm… that's a first, Siri.

Shut up. brain! I'm trying to tell a story!

Fine, be that way.

"Why can't you go tell her if you're so pissed about it?"

"Are you off your rocker?! I can't do it, that'd be rude!"

"Rude, schmude. It'd be just as rude if I said it. Everybody on the face of the earth knows I don't really like her anyway!"

"Well, unless you have another girlfriend in mind, I'd suggest getting used to her and TELL HER TO SHUT UP!!!"

"Well, you're out of luck, because I do have someone else in mind."

"What? Who's the girl?!"

"Well…"

"What? Just tell us! Don't you want to hear Remus?"

"Not—"

"Of course you do, Remus. Well, listen to your friend, at least!"

I stared at Remus fervently. If he told Lily, that would make us official. That also means that we'd have to dump our dates on Valentine's Day, social suicide at Hogwarts. Not that I cared, but if Remus di—oh to hell with it, I did care a little, but it'd be worth it to be with Rem officially.

I waited anxiously for Remus's response.

He nodded.

Oh my god! This is it! I'm coming out. Okay, breathe Siri. You've already come out to the person who matters.

But Siri! What about James and… well, what about James?!

He won't mind if he's really your mate.

Yeah, but what if he's a frickin' homophobe?! It's not HIS fault if his parents raised him wrong!

Shut up, Sirius! Don't talk about Mr. and Mrs. Potter like that! They've always been supportive of you!

Well, maybe THEIR parents raised them like that!

STOP TALKING ABOUT JAMES'S FAMILY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE GONNA DO!!!

Right, sorry brain. Okay, so it'd kind of be useless to beat around the bush, so I guess I'll just come out with it. Sound good?

Sounds good.

Let's do this thing.

Right on.

"It's Remus, okay?"

"Wait—WHAT?!"

"You heard me, Ciss. I'm gay, get over it."

"Oh. My. God. I'VE BEEN DATING A QUEEN?!?!?!?!"

"No. Technically, you've been dating a twink. Queens are effeminate, whereas twinks are attractive young men whom seek the company of other attractive young men. You see—"

"I cannot BELIEVE I'm even having this conversation with my BOYFRIEND!!!"

"Oh, shut up about it. You don't like me, I don't like you. Let's call it quits, and you can go fuck your sister to your heart's content."

"Wh—I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Ah, why don't you go ask Bella, I'm sure she can recount your fuckfests, in case you weren't quite sober enough to remember them."

"Ah! Never in all—"

"Oh, come off it, Ciss. I'll go date Moony and you can—"

"Um, hello?! I'm right here you know!"

"Don't waste your breath, Lily. He was only going out with you so that Prongs would finally agree to ask you. We were going together behind your back."

"I told you never to say that! Dammit, Padfoot! Can you keep ANYTHING to your—"

"James? Is that true?"

"Yes…."

"Well?"

"What?"

"Do you want to—"

"NOBODY DUMPS NARCISSA BLACK! DAMN YOU SIRIUS!!!"

And with that, Narcissa whipped her wand out of her pocket and blasted a curse right at me, but with my animal-like reflexes (sorry, no pun intended), I managed to duck just in time, and it hit a tree instead. Nice girl, right? Well, it was almost understandable, until she tried cursing my poor Moony.

That, of course, meant war.

And, in all of one minute, everyone had their wands drawn, firing curses and hexes at whomever. The Hogmeade-goers were flipping out (understandably) and running into shops. Prongs was already spread out in the grass after a particularly nasty Petrificus Totalus fired by Lily. It was accidental, of course, but she was too pissed off at Moony to care too much. I, of course, had dropped my wand, and was now using Prongs's, but I needed mine desperately. How the hell was I supposed to get this thing over with if I didn't even have my own wand?

But, after about fifteen minutes of random curses and dizzying dueling, I spotted my wand next to Narcissa's foot. In a daring leap of faith, I dove to my wand. I had barely made it before I had to block a potentially deadly blow from Narcissa, but I did that with my spell book, not my wand. Then, she aimed one at Moony.

That was the last straw.

"NOT MY MOONY, BITCH!!!"

And I blasted her with the most powerful acne hex I could conjure.

"No!!! Not my beautiful face! Bella's gonna be so pissed!"

And she ran crying back to Hogwarts.

"You okay, Moons?"

"I'm fine, Pad. Thanks for that. It was very noble."

"Eh, don't mention it. I'd honestly been waiting to do that since I was little."

And then he smiled that little half-smile. Oh god, I'm so frickin' lucky to have him.

Then I caught Prongs out of the corner of my eye. Snogging Lily, no less. Well, I guess this was a win-win scenario for all of the Marauders. Well… where the hell was Wormtail? Oh well. I guess he ran off.

Well, you did it, Siri. You came out.

Yeah, I guess I did, didn't I?

Yup, you did mate.

And Rem didn't mind.

Nope. Well, better go congratulate James, huh?

Yup. Later brain.

See ya.

"Good one, mate!"

"Thanks, Padfoot."

"James, please don't use those dreadful nicknames!"

"Alright, for you, my sugarquill. Thanks, Sirius."

"Well, Lily, since you're not dating Moony anymore, I guess I can be a little less vile."

"Thank you, Sirius. I appreciate that."

"Well, congratulations, James. Lily."

"Thanks Rem."

"Yeah, thanks Remus. Still friends?"

"Of course."

"Well, maybe we should go find Peter and Frida. James?"

"After you, Lily Wily."

James made one of those incredibly cheesy hand gestures "leading" her forward. You know, the one when in like the Muggle movies about the 18th century, the guy like opens the door and like, opens up his arm with his palm out, and like bows almost? Yeah, that one.

Eh, let James be cheesy if he wants to be. You got Rem.

That's true brain, that is true.