I slowly awaken to the quiet emptiness of my hospital room. A nurse enters the room.
"It's good to see that you're awake, Miss Daniels. I have good news. You'll be leaving the hospital tomorrow, and going home, where you'll be on 'round the clock care. I do hope that you're able to overcome this, Miss"
I say nothing, just lie on my back and hope the woman leaves soon, which she does. As soon as she's gone, I begin to do one of the few things that I can still do: sing.
"Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
Bridge:
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
Chorus:
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
Bridge:
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
Chorus:
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Bridge:
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
Chorus:
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight"
As I finish, I hear someone walk into the room.
"Did you mean that?" Edward asks.
"Yeah. I'm going home tomorrow, so they can make room for more patients" I mumble, avoiding eye contact with the Elric brothers.
"That's good, isn't it?"
"If it meant that I was better, yeah, but it doesn't"
"Are you going to start therapy?" Ed asks, watching me as I stare out the window.
"Why should I? It's useless when you can't move"
"That's why, so you can try to move, and possibly move again"
"Do you really believe that it would help me" I ask, skeptical.
"Have you ever heard of Christopher Reeves?"
"The dead guy who fell off the horse? Who hasn't?"
"Well, when he died, he could move his little finger. With the aid of alchemy, and modern science, we could help you"
"You sound like an ad for some cheap pills" I say, finally looking at him.
He blinks, and I can't help but laugh a little.
"You think this is funny? Do you want our help or not!?" Al asks, getting mad.
"You know what?" I ask, acting like I'm getting ready to snap at them.
"What?" Ed replies fairly abruptly.
"I…I don't know. I really don't know. Everything's been happening so fast. I wish someone would just stop the world so I could get off" I say, quietly.
At my words, the brothers' gaze begins to soften. I look at my hands, laid out beside me, and begin to wonder why I was even allowed to live, being in such a pitiful state. I look up at Ed with my chocolate colored eyes, and a tear rolls down my cheek. Ed gingerly walks over, and gives me a gentle hug.
"I'm so sorry about the way I was yesterday. Both of you" I mutter, my face buried in the crook of Ed's neck. Tears begin to roll freely as I apologize to the brothers over and over again.
When he finally pulls away, his shirt is soaking wet where my face was. He dries my eyes, and I smile weakly.
"Thanks" I mumble, turning my head so that I'm looking straight into the teens eyes.
"For what?"
For pulling me out of that…depression. I realize, now, that it's no one's fault but my own" I say, allowing a stray tear to fall. It streaks down my face slowly, and is followed by another, as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying not to think about the fact that I couldn't even wipe a stray tear away.
Tears.
So many tears have been shed in the pass couple of days. I couldn't stand being so weak. Especially since I could do nothing to hide them
"Ed, when you go back to HQ, can you ask my dad what happened to my horse?" I ask. A pained look crosses the teens face.
"She was destroyed, wasn't she" my voice was flat, and void of any happiness.
He stands motionless for a moment, torn between this broken young girl next to him, and his orders to not distress her.
"She wasn't destroyed, but she was sold" he says, choosing me over his orders.
That's when I have my first mental breakdown. My brain just shuts down as I begin to sob. The heart monitor next to my bed goes berserk as I sob harder and harder. Edward looks terrified at what he's done, with just a simple sentence. As a nurse rushes in, Edward is shoved roughly out the door by an angry doctor.
"I knew there was no place in a hospital for military personnel that aren't harmed. Get out" he says firmly. Al walks up behind the frightened teen, sensing something was wrong.
"What's wrong, Brother?"
"Sarah had a mental breakdown. I told her about her horse"
"Will she be ok?"
"I hope so…" he whispers, scared for me, gasping for breathe through my uncontrollable sobs.
"Ed…ward" I manage to choke out, before passing out from lack of oxygen.
Once more, I would really like to thank the people that send me reviews. If there are any questions about anything, let me know and I will answer them to the best of my abilities. Please, let me know how I'm doing.