A/N: Hello again!!! Now, before I go on with the story, I would like to say a few words and here they are: Nitwit, Oddment, Blubber, Tweak!!! No, I'm kidding, but I feel that I should bring some things to your attention. First off: GO TO MY PROFILE!!! There's all sorts of goodies, like quotes, contests, and more information on my SAVE THE CYBERBUNNIES campaign. Also, I'm so sorry it takes me so long to repost!!! With school (aka prison) and such, I kind of need to focus a little bit; you know how such things can be ;-) Anyway, I just posted my first contest on my profile, and it's pretty cool. Because I'm now having to really put all my time and energy into schoolwork, and I barely have time to write chapters, let alone proofread them, I'm holding a contest for an official editor!!! If you're just starting out on Fanfiction, let's say, and you want your name out there as a great author, this is the contest for you!!! (See my profile for rules, prizes, etc.) Well, I've been babbling along waaaay too much. This chapter has SMUT to the highest degree, so if you don't wanna read it, don't. I don't give a f-- well, I don't care. And now, without further ado, Chapter 5, ladies and gentlemen!!!

"Go go Gryffindor!!!"

Moony, Wormtail, and I are at the front of the stadium, screaming our heads off as James goes into a death-defying dive for the Snitch.

"I swear to god, Pads, if his child is any bit that good at Quidditch…."

"Eh, he will be, Moony, it's in the blood. His father was a Beater, his grandfather was a Keeper, I think even his great great grandfather was a Chaser. I just hope his kid'll be Seeker, it's the best position, bar none."

"True, true. OH MY GOD! GO PRONGS, GO!!!"

James had suddenly sliced around the corner of the stadium and was a blur of agility and perfection as he leaned into his broom and bolted towards the Snitch. He made figure eights and loops and dives and…

"POTTER'S CAUGHT THE SNITCH!!! That's 150 points to Gryffindor! They win the game!!! Gryffindor wins!!!"

James made his rounds around the rim of the arena, milking his victory for all it was worth. He was catching tokens of appreciation from Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws including everything from teddy bears to flowers to bras from some rowdy Ravenclaws, who were "escorted" from the stadium.

"Way to go, Prongs!"

"Nice going!"

"Wow, James, that was incredible! You looked so graceful and—and—beautiful up there!"

"I think you're in love, Wormtail!"

"O, bugger you, Sirius."

"Thanks, mates. Now, where's Lily?"

Just then, Lily came strolling into the picture, books in hand.

"Good job, James. I really do wish that you could put some of that effort into studying, though. What do you say, after the party in the Common Room, we go to the library and work on some assignments?"

"Aw, Lils, do we have—"

"—I'll make it worth your while…."

"O—okay…."

I caught Rem and whispered in his ear:

"I swear to god, the power she has over that boy, I bet some teachers wish they had it."

"Yeah, but think about it: They're in love, Siri. You have power over me, you know…"

"Ah, this is all too true. What do you say we ditch them and set up for the party?"

"I'm surprised you didn't think of that before, Siri. Let's go."

Rem and I had set up the party just in time, let me tell you. The second we were finished decorating, hundreds of hungry, hyper Gryffindors stampeded in, almost crushing the poor little house elf (Dory, I think she was called) who had smuggled in the Firewhiskey for us. Bless her. Anyway, we all started partying, and drinking, and, you know:

Sirius plus too many Firewhiskeys equals Horny beyond compare

I think, had I not anyone in particular I was interested in, I would've screwed anyone in the Common Room at that point. But I did have someone in particular tonight, and, unfortunately, that meant that, despite my brain being supersaturated with alcohol, I would have to restrain myself.

At least, until he was drunk enough, too.

Come on, Sirius. You're horny, he's your boyfriend, there's a frickin' broom cupboard right next to you, you do the math!

Yeah, but, brain! Now, understand that I normally don't agitate you when you're, enjoying, yourself so much—

--This is true, Sirius. But why stop now, mate? You can have it all.

But what if he doesn't want to yet?

Who cares?

I DO!!!

Well, think about it, what person DOESN'T want to be screwed by you?

…none that I can think of at the moment… but still—

--Still what? What if he doesn't want to? I thought we just established this! You seemed to have no problem with all your girlfriends being fucked stupid by you.

I know, but they're not the same. This is REMUS we're talking about here, brain, not just another girl. I care this—

--did you just say you cared?! Sirius Black?! CARE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I know, believe me I know, but Remus is…different, okay?

Fine, fine, don't listen to me. You never do anyway.

That's not—well, maybe it is, come to think of it.

Go have fun not having fun, loser.

You know? I knew I didn't like you….

Nor I you.

Fine!

Fine!

But, thankfully to stop my internal blathering, Remus came up to me, completely wasted, and dragged me into the broom cupboard.

Huh, I guess we both got our way then, Sirius.

Yeah. Hey, I'm not complaining!

No hard feelings?

None at all.

"Sirius?"

Woah, I had NEVER heard him talk… well, drunk, before…. Then, he pulled me into a smothering kiss. I'd never really thought him the dominating type, but I wasn't minding it too much. His hot breath sent shivers of ecstasy down my spine, and I used all of my supernatural snogging powers to repay him equally for such bliss.

Well, by the feeling of his trousers on my leg, it worked.

"Siri."

"Yes, Rem?"

"Fuck. Now."

"Yes sir!"

It was like a religious experience.

Rather cramped, but still, with our nimble features, we managed to do just fine.

It started out with more passionate snogging, as most great sex does, but then it became even more. Remus took out his wand and did an incantation which not only created a beautiful room full of red silk and pleather (I refused to harm any animal, so I assume this was a thoughtful gesture on his part), but it created this sort of golden halo of light around my soul. I don't really know how to describe it in its full glory, but if you've ever had really great sex, just increase the passion by about five million percent, and that's what this light was doing. He slammed me onto the bed—

--Huh, the bottom really isn't so bad. I can see why girls like it so much….

And started undoing my shirt, button by button—

With his mouth.

Oh, god! If that didn't give me an erection, I don't know what ever will.

Come to think of it—

Sirius, stop thinking! Just fuck him, then think about it later!

Hold on, brain, just one last thought.

As I was saying, now that I came to thinking of it, I had no idea Remus was so… well… skilled in the bedroom. Just goes to show you, I guess. Anyway, back to fuckfest.

Once our shirts were off, he undid my trousers the same way he did my shirt.

Woah.

I don't even know how he got this good! Anyway, once everything was off, and Remus was standing there in his full glory (damn, he looked like a Roman god or something!) and I mine, we screwed.

Damn.

We rocked back and forth, I perfect mesh, and, especially because neither of us had gay sex before, we were doing very well.

Anyway, then, I consumed him in my mouth, flicking the tip with my practiced tongue.

"Oh, Siri! I'm gonna come!"

"Come, already! It's my turn!"

And I swallowed him. It tasted so, Remus-y..., I dunno! But it was great.

Then he did me, and let me tell you, best fuck ever, bar none. I came almost as quickly as he had with me, and then we just lay there, on top of one another for a little bit.

"Damn, you're good, Moony!"

"Haven't you noticed? Full moon's tomorrow."

"Ah, now I see, it's the madness within, eh?"

"Guess so, mate. Just don't expect anything that good next time, okay?"

"Got it. Well?"

"What?"

"How 'bout me, twit?!"

"Pads, we just screwed each other, and already you're calling me a twit?"

"Yup."

"Fine. I must say, I think practice makes perfect."

"Fucking is so easy, especially when the other person's equal to your skill level."

"Alright, well, we just had sex."

"Woah, really? I hadn't noticed, Moons!"

"Oh, stop being sarcastic, Pads."

"Ain't gonna happen."

"Well, anyway, what do we do now?"

"Um… go on with our lives?"

"No, I mean about doing it again! We can't just do it in the broom cupboard all the time!"

"Well, there's always the One-Eyed Witch passageway."

"Too small."

"Um… there's bound to be some secret room or something. I would say the Shrieking Shack, but that might put a damper on the situation."

"Just slightly, Siri. Tell you what? As soon as I find a good place, I'll mirror you, okay?"

"Sounds good. Fucky buddy."

"Fucky buddy?"

"It's either that or Dicky Mickey…."

"I'll take Fucky buddy."

"Good."

"By the way, if it's ever not a full moon, I'm probably not gonna be on top."

"That's totally cool, I'm used to the top."

"Damn, I have to study, I have a Defense Against the Dark Arts test tomorrow!"

"You're gonna study after sex?"

"I'm sorry Siri. I have to. And you have homework, anyway."

"Fine, fine. See you later."

"Alright. Love you."

"Love you too."

A/N: Well, what did you think?! I know I'm no good at writing smut scenes, but that's also that I worry my mother is going to come and read over my shoulder (which she does), so I do it when she's not around. REVIEW!!! (Especially y'all with cyberbunnies [MysteriWriter07, tehfanglyfish, MoonyistheMan, orange sheep of the flock, they're gonna starve if you don't get your reviews in by tomorrow!!!) Anyway, I have a great new contest up on my profile (in case you didn't read about it up top), so check it out, especially if you're a budding writer who wants their name out there ;-) Chapter 6 will come soon, but I'm writing a one-piece, so it might be a little while. I promise, by Thanksgiving (November 22), the next chapter'll be up! Cheers!