I own a dog, a goldfish and really cool a pen you can write with in space, not these characters though. Not yet anyway mwahahaha...

THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE

Vs

THE KNOW ALL QUEEN

Dungeons and Dummies

"So what is it you'll be teaching the little buggers this year then Hermione?" Said Ginny, whilst sipping her tea.

"I'm not too sure I think I'll start with a boggart, counter hexes, and I think it's about time Hagrid allowed me to introduce my N.E.W.T. students to an Acromantula from the forest, now that they're all friends again." I say wondering if Grawp's sheer size had a helping hand in Hagrid's reconciliation with the remaining members of Aragog's family. I take a long drink from my cup, on which a stick figure is waving a banner, declaring: WORLD'S BEST TEACHER!! A gift from Ron.

"An Acromantula, are you sure that's wise? Could be dangerous what if it gets injured, I certainly wouldn't want to face a giant, angry, and more than likely, man eating spider, with just a bunch of students to back me up. It would be Neville and Snape all over again, only maybe a little less dangerous." she grinned.

"Hence I have asked Hagrid for help, and professor Kettleburn is coming out of retirement to help, and I'll stick a shielding spell on it as well so we shouldn't have much trouble."

"Bloody hell it's half past seven, right then," Said Ginny begrudgingly getting up out of her armchair "I'll just have to love you and leave you." She gives me a hug, throws some more floo powder into the fire and left the same way she had entered, minus the almost literal foot in mouth.

ooo000ooo

The boggart was proving more trouble for me than my students. As the bloodied lifeless forms of the people I love the most were taking shape before me, until a student thankfully stepped in. It seemed that spending all of those summers at the burrow was turning me into Molly Weasley at an alarming rate. At this pace I'd have knitted a maroon jumper for Ron, just in time for Christmas.

ooo000ooo

"So with your permission I'd like to give the N.E.W.T. students a chance to meet the acromantula only Scrin though, he wouldn't want the rest of his family being friends with the humans." I say as though throwing the students who have been entrusted into my care, in front of a giant, man eating, poisonous, beast of a spider is the best idea she's heard since sliced bread. Her seemingly ever-thinning mouth was rapidly disappearing.

"Well Hermione, I will allow it, (then upon seeing my joy added,) only because if the very real possibility of them falling out with Hagrid occurs, they should find this very useful." I turn to walk out the door, back toward the great hall for dinner when she says; "Oh and you might want to see if Severus wants some more venom, lord knows how much you have to pay on Knockturn Alley for it." Oh Gods, not Snape, not now. Shit, shit, shit! Ever since the staff party after the end of the school term, I still could not face him. Ah yes, those glorious memories when I had gotten so drunk, at the end of the night I was crooning 'Crazy' by Julio Inglasias into his shoulder, and when he pushed me away I then proceeded to declare to the entire school staff that: "We all need to accept him so he can accept himself!" I then gave him a big hug assured him that 'Everything was going to be O.K.', and made my graceful exit by tripping over Mrs. Norris. I think the worst night of my night was a tiny bit of an under statement. And it was about to have its sequel.

I remember when he was facing trial for Dumbledore's murder, Harry and Ron went as well cursing him from the gallows, not caring that the entire Wizengamot would have them removed. I sat back and listened awaiting his side of the story, my belief in the justice system was about to shock me senseless. They did the one and only thing that would save Severus Snape, ironically enough it was the same thing that they were trying to incriminate him self with. Veritiserum. The whole sorry tale had come out how; yes he had killed Dumbledore, but how he had done so under his orders, how he had been forced to go through with it, after making the unbreakable bond with Narcissa. He had thought Draco would have done it; he didn't want to kill Dumbledore because the headmaster was the first person to believe in him. A stunned silence swept the whole place. Until Scrimegour got up and decided that the penalty of the Dementor's kiss would be spared he had still performed an unforgivable curse. The punishment? Three years in Azkaban. It was, as McGonagall pointed out, the ultimate act of loyalty. So when he came out of prison he was surprised to see people ready to help him. And it was all going very nicely until that stupid party.

I'm outside of his Door, my hand is raised I go to knock and think 'No he'll expect that!' wait what am I thinking of course he will. How else is he supposed to know I want to go in? Well I don't want to go in but that's not the point. Oh stuff it. And I knock and wait.

"Come in." Says a voice from behind the door. A voice that I know belongs to Snape. I go in and find him telling one of my house students that detention was over.

"Professor Snape, why was I not informed that a student from my house had detention?" I ask, finding the black board a few inches to the left of him very interesting indeed.

"Because I left it in the hands of said student. Did I not Miss Cartwright.

A small "s" was all she could manage.

"Did you even consider the remote possibility that it wasn't her fault?" I try to meet his glare I really do but I just can't, so I do the next best thing, which also happens to be the worst thing, I look at his nose. It's huge! Well it's not that big but it's certainly larger than normal.

"Oh, really and what do you suggest happened?" but it no use I'm lost realising I'm studying the vast nasal capacity of Severus Snape. I try not to grin and obviously that instantly makes the situation even funnier.

"Tell me then, are you suggesting that someone else was instructing her to mix the potion into a highly dangerous explosive? Three hundred billion years of evolution, and still we end up with idiots like Miss Cartwright here." He sneered. She runs and I kind of splutter a giggle, not unlike a car having trouble starting.

"That wasn't funny." I say, my voice an octave higher than usual.

"Who are you trying to convince," He grins, arrogant bastard. "me, or you." I want to murder that man.

"Well obviously you, as I was just vocalising my opinion," I take a deep breath and continue "Look I only came down to see if you wanted some acromantula venom."

"Yes, I believe that will be particularly useful in my potion work." He answers.

"Well?" I ask.

"Very, why do you ask?" The grin is back in all of it's smug, smugness.

"For gods sakes if you cant even manage a simple thank you, then you can go buy your own bloody venom, though you seem to be so full it already." then ice the proverbial cake with "You larged nose git."

"Well Miss Granger if all you can do is insult me, then the gloves will come off" he spits.

"I AM NOT YOUR STUDENT ANYMORE." I shout, I compose myself. "we are on the same side." I say.

"My, my Hermione," he practically forces my name out "you are a fickle woman indeed first you accuse me of lying then you insult me then you tell me "we are on the same side" what are you trying to do," the grin is back "send me crazy?"

I slam the door on my way out.

Thanks for keeping up with this and I hope you like it, loves and hugs x x x x