The baby is crying again.
Irina, functioning on autopilot, stumbles to the nursery, not bothering to switch on a light. This isn't what I signed on for, she thinks.
Sydney cries even harder when Irina picks her up, and Irina blinks back her own frustrated tears. "Shh, it's okay, Mommy's here."
She sits in the rocking chair, and fumbles with one hand to open the buttons of her night shirt. Sydney stops crying as soon as she latches onto Irina's breast, and as Irina gazes at her, all the annoyance she had felt earlier melts away.
Sydney grips Irina's thumb in her tiny hand, and Irina is surprised by the strength of someone so small. Every time she looks at Sydney, it seems as if there is something else to marvel at.
"Everything okay?" Jack asks from the doorway.
"Yeah," Irina says. "Your daughter had a big appetite."
Jack grins and crosses the room. "I guess she takes after her mother, then." He runs his hand over Irina's hair and there is such love in his expression that she can't help but smile back at him.
In moments like this one, it is tempting to believe that she really is Laura Bristow and that she knows no life outside of this one. She wonders how she could ever have thought she would not fall in love with Jack. His file had not prepared her for the reality of being with him.
And yet she knows this is not permanent. As much as she wants to pretend otherwise, one day she is going to have to leave. She will break his heart, betray her own heart, and now there is another person she is going to hurt. Sydney is an innocent in all this.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"What?"
"You're crying." Jack brushes her tears away with his fingertips.
"I'm just happy," she says. "Things are perfect now."
Jack bends down to kiss her forehead. "You're perfect. You and Sydney are all I've ever wanted."
"You should go back to bed. I'll be along in a minute."
"It's okay—"
"You've got to work tomorrow." She smiles. "Seriously, I'm just going to burp Sydney and change her diaper. I won't be long."
"Okay." He kisses her again, then kisses Sydney. "Good night, sweetheart."
Irina waits until he's gone before she allows the rest of her tears to fall. She doesn't know how she'll ever have the strength to leave.
She could tell Jack the truth now.
Even as the thought crosses her mind, she dismisses it. She can never tell Jack the truth. He cannot understand how she can love him and lie to him at the same time.
This is her secret, her burden. She will do her job well so that there is no reason for them to extract her. She will stay with her family as long as she is allowed, and she can only hope that she will survive a life without them when her time is up.