The Half Blood Prince

Vs

The Know All Queen

Oh what a tangled web we weave!

I storm into my quarters and slam the door "Big nosed, greasy haired, bastard!" I mimic the previous conversation with Snape. "Well?" I say asking myself in a mild manner "Very why do you ask?" I answer myself adopting a voice that would be suitable in playgrounds of nursery school children. I stalk into my bedroom to change out of my school robes, into my most comfortable pyjamas. It was just vest and shorts really the vest top read: I may not be perfect but bits of me are excellent! When I lean over you can even see exactly which bits, it is referring too. That is what I'm doing now; I reach into the bottom of my fridge and pull out a mini bottle of gilly water. As I pour myself a glass, I subsequently start rambling to myself. "Arrogant bloody git. Doesn't know when to let go. Like he's never been drunk before." I start to pour it out. "My guess is he probably just starts mumbling to him self when he thinks no-ones-" I turn around, stop mid sentence and drop my glass on the floor. After the small tinkling sound as the glass smashes, I hear Harry Potter say:

"Reparo!" My face turns red as I realize whilst I have been prattling on inanely to myself, Harry, Ron, Ginny and Neville have been sitting in my living room, and not one of them bothered to let me know that they were here. And they call themselves friends.

"So," Ron laughs, "is this a private conversation or can anyone join in?"

"Nice bum." Neville adds. My head drops a little as I ask 'why god, why?' I look up, sigh heavily and say:

"Tea anyone?"

"She's got milk." Ginny says knowingly.

"And then he says (I use that childish voice again) "What are you trying to do, drive me crazy?" I mean bloody hell it wasn't that bad!" All eyes suddenly look in any direction but mine, telling me that yes Hermione, it was that bad. "Look, I'm really glad you came I've missed you all, but can you just leave me alone for a little while. I just need to calm down a little."

"Alright, then we'll go but you'd better owl us soon." Neville warns.

"I promise," I say, holding up my hands. I get a hug from each of them and then one by one they jump in to the fire, it still looks strange, even after all this time.

I sit by the fire for a little while longer reading (angrily, if that's at all possible) 'Theoretical magic's on potential magical creatures' then give up, I give the room a once over, and satisfied that there's no one there say to my self "Bugger this, I'm going to bed." Besides tomorrows a new day and all that. 'Bollocks!' I suddenly realize tomorrow is probably going to be a feast for the giant spiders. My head hits the pillow and I remember no more.

ooo000ooo

"Merlin's beard Mr. Shacklebolt, if your father could see you now he'd," I was going to say 'be appalled' but according to Scrin, it the correct ending was apparently to be hurled into a tree at an incredible velocity. I stumble back to my feet and yell, "Don't make me take my wand out!" That was it I had said the magic words. Suddenly the air was illuminated with red stunning spells, green hexes, and white offensive spells. Why? Because I had a feeling that I'd be doing all the work, so I told them if I had to use magic then they would all receive a fail. A little harsh maybe? Not if it helps to keep the rate of fatalities down, especially as I'm a bit young to be singing with the 'choirs angelicas'.

"ACCIO VINES!" Someone shouts I swivel around to get a closer watch on whoever it is. My, my, my if it isn't Miss Vandisi. She uses the vines to bind Scrin by the feet. Clever. Then she bellows "WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" and to my absolute amazement, she turns Scrin on his back so rendering him unable to attack. Hagrid and Professor Kettleburn rush to help the humongous beast, which is no doubt thoroughly pissed off, as I move to congratulate Miss Vandisi.

"Well done, I couldn't have done it better my self." I'm surprised actually, as Vandisi is usually the kind of female student who, whatever time she spends away from applying her makeup or fixing her hair, she spends neglecting her work. Which is why I'm so impressed. I have to ask "So did you get the idea from when I told you about my encounter with the troll?" To my total confusion she laughs and says:

"Oh no Professor Granger, I just couldn't remember anything else." And with a toss of her shiny auburn hair walks away. Leaving me totally exhausted, completely gob smacked, and wondering why on earth do I even bother.

ooo000ooo

Dinnertime is here and the whole time I'm glaring at Vandisi.

"Something the matter, Hermione?" Snape says silkily adding extra silkiness to my name. I hate that man with a raw passion.

"Yes." My mouth didn't actually open, I just grinded my teeth. If I had opened my mouth then words of the uncivilised kind, may have spilled out.

"Really?" He continues. The man is emotionless. So I suppose it only makes logical sense that he's totally crap at mock emotion, especially confusion, I'm the know-it-all queen, not him. I suddenly get the image of Snape as a gay queen wearing a pink feather boa, singing to ABBA, and its totally hilarious. I stifle a giggle, but then he cuts into my daydream with:

"Only I was wondering do you normally wear dead foliage in your hair, or is today a special occasion?" I flush red and pull several twigs and various grasses from my hair. Quick Hermione, think! I swiftly scan them to see which ones they are. Lets see…meadowsweet, yarrow, oak twigs, rowan twigs, hmmm…

"Yes they're all here." I declare. And rather convincingly, I might add too. Aha! Now he's genuinely confused. But then, so am I. Words start pouring out of my mouth, words that have not yet been totally thought through. It's a bit like verbal diarrhoea. "Yes," I look Snape right in the eyes and say, "These are potion ingredients I found during an lesson outside, I need a lock of my hair anyway so I thought I might keep all the ingredients together, so to speak." And smile oh so sweetly. The little voice inside my head is dancing and singing saying 'I am the winner, I am the winner, Wahoo!' Wait he's smiling, no he's smirking, oh god, why is he doing that, WHY?

"Well then, I presume you will be needing my classroom then, will you not?" He replied smoothly, wickedly and (to the height of my annoyance) amusedly. Oh fuck. "NO!" I squeal. I collect myself and say, "No, no thank you, Severus but I will not be requiring your classroom, I have all of my ingredients here thank you."

"Whilst I'm sure you do have all of your, 'ingredients' you will no doubt need a cauldron." He states. Ah, so he did notice the slight flaw in my plan. My mouth is saying something again, so I decide I should really listen.

"I'll be down at 8 o'clock." WHAT! Why am I saying that? What, what's Snape saying now?

"8 o'clock then, I look forward to it, Hermione." And he sweeps out of the great hall.

"Oh shit!" I curse, as it echoes around a now empty hall. Right then there's only one thing for it… "WINKY!"

O.k. hope you like it and please read on for more and let me know what you think loves and hugs x x x x