A Man's World
Chapter 10: THE FLIP SIDE OF BETRAYAL
by terre nymphe
as aforementioned in the summary, this piece borrows both characters and storylines from Gundam Wing, Sailor Moon, and Dark Angel. I do not own, or have any claim to, any of these shows and/or comics. I apologize for any perceived plagiarism and assure readers that it is not intentional.
Sadness.
Confusion.
Regret.
A normal psyche might experience these emotions after orchestrating such a massive betrayal, but Usagi's psyche was far from normal. She'd had neither the chance nor the inclination to experience the full range of emotions, so there were many that she didn't understand.
During her field training, Usagi had made quite an effort to study the emotions of an average teenage girl, but the recent events convinced her that she needed more work. 'Sera' was supposed to be ditsy, enthusiastic, and ultimately, forgettable, but Trowa saw right through the act. If he was as well trained as he was supposed to be, it wouldn't be long before he figured out her true identity.
Suddenly, another problem occurred to her. Even if he didn't make that connection, he would remember her face. Her identity would not be safe. She was left with only one feasible option . . .
Trowa was tired. The drive back to The Society was extraordinarily long, but it had given him hours to plan 06's murder. There were thousands of possibilities, each more painful than the next.
He pulled up to the enormous black gate and passed his hand over a sensor that scanned his identification chip. The gate swung out to let him through. Once inside, a guard signaled for him to stop.
"G0-0372, I'll take care of the car. You have orders to report directly to debrief."
Trowa nodded, grabbed his bag from the floor, and set off for the conference building. The '8', '9' and '10' series infantry soldiers were running the obstacle courses, and all of the '12' series were in the garage taking apart and reassembling the guts of a TS1-16 jet engine. Trowa watched them as he walked past, wishing his life were still as simple. At the door of the conference building, he swiped his hand under another scanner and watched for the access light to turn green. Soon, he was sitting outside of the debriefing room. The other four pilots, wandering in from their own duties, joined him. He told them about his mission, Benedict, and 06's perfectly executed 'accident.' Then, he told them about Sera. He told them about her acrobatics, her dancing, her odd relationship with the lions, and her unfortunate death. Both Wufei and Duo dismissed the situation as an acceptable casualty. Quatre displayed his distaste for the new pilot's methods. Only Heero saw the underlying anguish in 03's countenance. As the three apathetic pilots were engaged in some trivial conversation about motorcycle parts, Heero questioned Trowa further.
"You formed an attachment."
"Yes."
"We were trained to remain objective."
"I know. It was unavoidable; she was everywhere."
Trowa's face dropped its composure, "Heero, she was just like me but . . . better. She was strong and disciplined and pure. She didn't deserve to die; she never killed anyone. She never tortured anyone or seduced anyone for information . . . G0-0630 murdered her and I want him dead!"
Heero watched the boy's face contort with fury and waited for him to calm down before offering his advice, "forget about her. Forget about your vendetta. This conversation alone could be considered treason. Are you prepared let a girl you hardly knew corrupt your purpose?"
Trowa was about to answer when he was called into the debriefing room.
Unlike Trowa's entry, Usagi's return to the base was not through the front gate. She had another way in courtesy of a blind spot between the two security cameras guarding the Western fence. She waited for the patrol soldiers to pass and slipped through the section of the fence she'd disabled when she was six.
Usagi knew better than to completely trust anyone. Not even her Founder was aware of this particular little secret. It was better that he stay confused and in awe of her skill. She would be naïve to think that even Director A wouldn't sell her down the river in order to advance his mighty cause or even to protect his own ass. She'd even set up an account in a bank in Brasilia under an alias just in case she ever needed to disappear.
In the interests of further self-protection, Usagi told Director A everything regarding her first solo mission. She told him about the ridiculous costumes, her odd connection to the lions, Benedict's ingenious execution, and her own failure at maintaining her cover. She also detailed for him Trowa's near betrayal.
"This is a grave situation indeed, Usagi. What would you suggest we do about it?"
"Sir, I feel that the severity of the situation requires a detention in the psychological operations building."
"And if I were to say that your suggestion was too severe?"
"Sir, I would be forced to disagree. 03 almost abandoned his purpose and the Society. Such action cannot go unpunished. Furthermore, he has seen my face. His attachment to 'Sera' will compromise any missions that occur before my true identity is revealed. Director A, he must forget 'Sera'!"
"Very well, I will inform his Founder. I have no doubt that Doktor S will agree with your assessment and suggestion. G0-0372 will be in evaluation before the day is through."
Usagi sighed audibly, her relief evident, and her eyes gleamed with pride. She waited for the man to dismiss her, but she was mistaken in the assumption that the meeting was over.
"Usagi, while I appreciate your honesty concerning your own shortcomings, I've decided that you, too, are in need of evaluation. You are showing signs of emotions, regret most predominately. I've tried to train them out of you, but it seems that you've failed to keep them at bay. Perhaps, Dr. Reiz can help to expunge these imperfections."
Trowa emerged from the debriefing room, replaying the past few minutes in his head. Doktor S and Director A had been deep conversation when he'd entered the room, and Trowa stood at attention until Director A excused himself from the room.
"Trowa, I'm anxious to hear about the mission."
"Sir, the mission was a success. Edward Benedict is dead and the other employees have been sufficiently warned. G0-0630 blew up Benedict's popcorn cart to cover his death."
"So, 06 finished your mission and in a fraction of the time. I wonder; did you meet this reclusive pilot? If so, I would very much like to know about him."
"Sir, I did not see him."
"Hmm. Well, if that is all you have to report, you are dismissed."
Trowa turned to leave, but a single word stopped him in his tracks.
"Sera."
Trowa's chest tightened.
"You failed to mention your attachment to the girl, as well as, the distraction she became. 03, this could be considered betrayal, but you are too valuable to execute– for now. Director A informs me that 06 recommended psy-ops as your punishment, and I must agree. Your failures could have put the entire Society in jeopardy! You will leave this room and report directly to Dr. Reiz for evaluation."
"Sir, yes sir," Trowa's face was void but his thoughts were murderous. Not only did 06 kill Sera, he had Trowa sent to psy-ops for it. That bastard was going to pay.
The other pilots watched Trowa as he exited the briefing room, and even Heero was surprised at the fiery glare coming from the usually impassive pilot. Hate seeping from his very pores; Trowa paused for a terse explanation.
"Doktor S has seen fit to send me to psy-ops for my failure."
The boys visibly stiffened, unwelcome memories coursing through their brains. Quatre was the first to speak, "But I thought the mission was a success. Benedict is dead, isn't he?"
"Yes, but 06 suggested to his founder that I be put into psy-ops because of Sera; because of my weaknesses."
"That bastard! When we finally meet him, that kid is dead," Duo was practically spitting acid.
"He's right to suggest this punishment, I would have done the same," a new voice weighed in.
Duo turned to the Chinese pilot, "Wufei! How can you say that? You know what it's like in that place."
"No, Duo, he's right. I almost betrayed my purpose. That cannot go unpunished."
"That's it? You're gonna get your mind dissected and you think you deserved it?"
"The punishment is appropriate, but make no mistake, Duo, 06 will pay. He will die at my hand for the murder an innocent."
With that Trowa left his companions and headed for Dr. Riez's torture chamber. When he reached the medical building, two guards escorted him to a room. As the heavy, metal door closed behind them, Trowa locked away the memories of Sera in the deepest recesses of his psyche. Try as they might, no one would make him forget about her.
A few rooms away, two armed guards were strapping Usagi to her very own surgical table. The titanium restraints bit into her wrists and ankles, and the vice-like straps around her head offered absolutely no room for movement. Only after she was completely secured, did Dr. Riez dare to enter the room. He knew both the hate she held for him and the amount of strength housed in her petite body; he would take no unnecessary chances around her.
He taped her eyes open and positioned the ocular laser directly over her retina, then he sat at his computer to activate the lights. Director A had told Riez to concentrate on emotion suppression, so he programmed the lasers with his newest slide show, complete with physical reminders of the visual lessons.
Suddenly, the painful, intense laser bombarded Usagi's right eye with photos of death and destruction. Every once in a while, a photo of a happy family or a smile would pop up, and each time it was accompanied by an electric jolt. The pain would course up and down her slight frame.
From her left eye, Usagi could see Dr. Reiz standing over her, smiling; the hate she already held for him from their previous encounters was multiplied ten times over. The smiling and laughing, and the shocks and the pain, his face and his voice, and the hate and the fear, and the hate of the fear; it consumed her. Relief came only from the blank slides. There was no pain, only respite in the nothingness; blankness was the objective. Emotion is pain. Peace in silence. Emptiness is the only way.
Relaxing in his plush office, Dr. Reiz watched the monitors as the two soldiers reacted to his new programming. Their bodies jerked with the electrical currents, and he couldn't help but smile at the genius of his latest idea; this propaganda would be buried so deep in their brains that nothing would be able to bring the emotions back. He watched, with particular pleasure, the girl's violent convulsions. She'd inflicted many an injury on him in her short life– moments like this were sweet revenge.
Reiz looked down at his right hand; the bones were mangled and misshapen. A few years ago, during one of 06's behavior modification sessions, she'd broken loose of her metal cuff and crushed his hand, rendering it permanently useless. Now, he used every opportunity with the girl to remind her who was really in control, who really had the power. Dr. Reiz massaged the palm of his hand; the dull, constant ache meant that rain was coming.
Two days later, both soldiers were released from their punishment. Usagi was removed first and escorted back to her quarters through a set of secret hallways. Trowa was then allowed to walk back to the barrack he shared with the other four pilots. When the other boys returned from evening drills, they found Trowa sitting on his bed, staring at the wall. Duo was the first to approach.
"So, how was it?"
Trowa continued staring at the wall. Duo exchanged looks with the other boys then tried again.
"Did Reiz finally fry your brain? Trowa, man, you have to answer me."
At the mention of Dr. Riez, Trowa's gaze fell to the floor.
"I can't remember."
Duo's face grimaced in understanding; they'd all been through psy-ops, and it was no vacation.
"Yeah, I don't like to remember that stuff either."
"No," Trowa looked up at the boy, "I can't remember her."