Fame

by dreamerldv

Ashley's a famous rock star who's into drugs, sex, and rock n roll. if you have a problem with drugs, sex and rock n roll, don't read this. Last Chapter Up.

3. “Only for you, rock star”

Ashley briefly shook Madison's hand and then quickly pulled it away. Maybe it was her tiredness, or the heroin left in her system, but she had a bad feeling about Madison. To the naked eye, she seemed very normal and kind but Ashley also saw coldness in her eyes that made her feel uncomfortable. "Um, I'm sorry but I'm really tired and I don't think I'm ready for any interviews today," She stated with false apology. She was only in the mood for one thing, and being social wasn't it.

"Busy night?" Madison asked slyly, wanting to know how the rock star spent her night. She heard Ashley attended a party last night and wanted details ASAP. "What were you wearing? Any famous designer clothing?"

Ashley internally groaned. Didn't I just say I wasn't ready for any interviews? "I'll answer that later." She said as politely as she could muster while dealing with a killer head ache. "It was nice meeting you Madison, but I don't feel good." She looked at Pops, he didn't seem too pleased. "Daddy, I'm going back to bed now since I feel really sick," She barely stopped the smile that threatened to form over her lips as she watched him visibly tense. "I'm too sick to travel now. Can we leave in a few hours instead?"

Pops smiled a false loving smile as he stared into clever brown eyes. Yes, Ashley was good at being bad and apart of him was almost proud of her. Almost. "Of course, Pumpkin. How about we leave around noon?" He hated everything that was coming out of his mouth but had to act like a loving father in front of Madison. His reputation was far more important than his ego.

"Sounds too good to be true." Ashley smiled. "Well thanks Pops. I'm off to sleep."

"Wait Ashley, I think you're forgetting something." He said opening his arms.

Ashley stared at him in disbelief and quickly glanced over at Madison. Her face was in total admiration and Ashley knew telling Pops to go fuck himself was out of the question, "My mistake." She mumbled walking forward. She felt his arms wrap around her and completely tensed up. It was so weird hugging him after everything they've been through and all Ashley wanted to do was run away. "I love you."

Ashley jerked away the second she heard the words whispered near her ear and stared into her father's taunting eyes. She hated how satisfied he looked and she knew just the right things to say to make that satisfaction die – Ashley chastised herself. She had to get away before she said, or did, something that would expose the true nature of their relationship to Madison. "Bye," She spat turning away from him. She couldn't stand the fact that he had won their little battle of wills, and was close to running towards the elevator, needing to get away from Pop. Once inside she pressed the button and was on her way to the floor she was staying on. Her head still hurt and her body still ached and all she wanted to do was spend the day sleeping but she knew her sleep would only be limited to a few hours. "Can't have your cake and eat it to." She murmured out loud opening her hotel room door. She walked in and then sighed when she saw Mike lying on her bed watching TV. "I want to be alone." She said bluntly, sounding annoyed.

Mike sat up and looked at her. He was sort of confused by her attitude but didn't say anything about it. He'd be pissed off to if someone gave him bad shit. Especially when the bad shit was heroin. "I heard what happened, Ash. And I'm sorry the shit you bought was bad but you don't have to take it out on me."

Ashley turned off the TV and faced him. "Who told you I bought bad shit?" She didn't wait for him to answer. "Whoever it was lied. I got fucking drugged up by a swarm of psychos and then…..then…" She thought hard about this for the first time that day and couldn't remember anything passed watching the syringe pierce her skin. Everything after that was just blank. "Look can you just leave, I don't feel too good."

Mike felt sympathy for his friend. "Okay, Ash. I'll leave." He got off the bed and walked towards her. "Hope you feel better." He kissed the top of her head and walked out of the room.

Ashley watched him leave and instantly felt relieved the second the door closed. She loved Mike to death but was not in the mood for his obnoxiousness. "Where the hell is Spencer?" She asked herself looking around the empty room. She hated not being able to remember last night. It made her feel so lost and scared not knowing what she might have said or done to Spencer while she was high on heroin. "Fuck." She hissed walking over to her suitcase. She knelt down and searched for a pack of cigarettes. She needed to do something --anything—to help calm her nerves and smoking was the only thing she could think of.

After lighting a cigarette, Ashley walked over to the open window and stared down at the busy streets of LA. She was staring but not really seeing anything. Her mind was far too busy worrying about Spencer. Did Cindy and Kenny do something to her? She wondered fearfully while taking a long drag off her cigarette. She would never ever be able to forgive herself if something did happen to Spencer last night. It was all her fault for getting involved with Cindy and Kenny that caused everything that happened, whatever that was, to happen. "I fucked up big time." She said flicking her cigarette out the window. She was starting to get restless, but felt too tired to do anything more than stand there, staring at nothing. Ashley didn't know how long she stood there thinking, and assumed she was going crazy when she felt two hands on her shoulders, messaging the muscles there gently. "What are you doing up?" She heard being asked behind her.

Ashley immediately turned around at the sound of Spencer's voice and was relieved to see the blonde standing healthy and happy in front of her. "Fuck, I was so worried about you." She whispered pulling Spencer into a fierce hug. Her face was buried in lavender scented hair as she nuzzled against the warm soft skin on Spencer's neck. She had no idea where they stood but didn't care. Spencer was safe in her arms and that's the only thing that mattered to her at the moment. "I'm so very sorry Spencer, so sorry."

Spencer stood, puzzled, while bringing her hands up to caress Ashley's hair. "What are you sorry for Ashley?" She asked softly, loving the feel of her soft auburn hair running through her fingers.

Ashley closed her eyes, enjoying Spencer's touch, and buried herself deeper into the blonde. It made her feel secure being enveloped in Spencer's arms and she felt like everything was alright between them. But she knew that was a total lie. Well she didn't know that for sure but she had a hunch that everything wasn't okay. And that worried her. "I'm not sure." She mumbled weakly. "I honestly don't remember anything that happened last night. Well I remember some things but not much."

Spencer's heart went out the teenager in her arms. She sounded so unsure, scared, and miserable that it made Spencer want to help her relax and reassure her that everything was okay. Even if it wasn't. She was going to get answers from Ashley, but not now. Reminding Ashley of her heroin overdose was the last thing Spencer wanted to do to her right now. Instead, she was going to make the rock star feel good and relaxed. "I have an idea, Ash." Spencer said running her hands down Ashley's back. "How does a message sound?"

Ashley opened her eyes and pulled back. She met Spencer's gaze and nodded her head 'yes'. After completely pulling away from the blonde Ashley went straight to the end table, near the bed, and picked up her phone.

Spencer watched her feeling somewhat confused. "Ashley?" She asked watching the rock star punch in a number. Ashley stopped dialing and looked up. "Who are you calling?" She asked curiously.

"Rachael." She answered looking back down at her phone. "I'll have her find a masseuse for you."

Spencer smiled while walking up to Ashley, gently taking her phone. "That won't be necessary." She said tossing the black Motorola razor aside. Looking up into confused brown eyes, Spencer kissed Ashley's lips softly. "First of all, the message is for you and secondly, I'm going to be your masseuse." Spencer didn't give Ashley a chance to respond as she grasped the hem of her shirt. "Lift your arms up, Honey." Ashley did so and stood completely still as her shirt and bra were being removed. "Spencer, are you sure this message is actually going to be a …..message?" She asked playfully, fighting back a shiver as the cold air in the room hit her bare skin.

"Positive." Spencer answered moving away from Ashley. "Now, get on the bed and lie on your stomach while I get something out of my bag." She called out stepping into the bathroom.

Ashley walked over to the bed and rolled onto the middle of the large mattress, loving how the cool sheets felt against her naturally heated skin, and wrapped her arms around a silk covered pillow, sighing her contentment. "I wish I can stay in bed all day." She murmured, closing her eyes. It was almost scary how easily she could fall asleep right now. Usually it took a lot more than just lying down to make her feel relaxed enough to sleep.

Ashley felt the bed shift and smiled when she realized Spencer was back. Apart of her was looking forward to the message but a bigger part of her was hoping it'd turn out to be more…..sexual than soothing. "So, how good are you at this?" She asked quietly, feeling Spencer straddle the back of her thigh, just below her backside; the denim on the blonde's leg settling between her own jean clad thighs. "Spencer," she gasped when she felt cold thick liquid land on the small of her naked back.

"Sorry." Spencer mumbled, not meaning for any of the baby oil to spill on Ashley yet. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she forgot all about the bottle in her hands. Staring at Ashley's naked back was becoming a huge distraction and she wondered how long the message would remain innocent before one of them completely gave into their desires. She then remembered Ashley's question and smiled wickedly. Running her hands up the expanse of Ashley's back, Spencer dug blunt nails in the skin between her shoulder blades before scratching her way back down to the small of her back. Ashley whimpered lightly when she felt feather like kisses being placed up her spine, on the nape of her neck, and finally on her ear and cheek. "I'm very good at this," She husked nibbling on a fleshy lobe.

Ashley moaned when she felt Spencer's naked breasts and warm abdomen crushed against her back, followed by the blonde's sexy voice and seductive behavior; the words 'be careful what you wish for' came to mind and she hoped self-control would be enough to keep her from turning over and completely ravishing the blonde. "Believe me, I believe you." She groaned feeling Spencer sit up again. She sort of missed the full body contact but realized not feeling Spencer's breasts against her back was probably for the best. "I understand why I'm naked from the waist up," She turned her head and her gaze landed on Spencer's exposed torso. "But what's you're excuse?" She asked, throat suddenly dry as she stared at Spencer's erect nipples. God.. her boobs are so fucking perfect! she thought feeling a slight stirring in her pants. Ashley quickly looked away and internally groaned. How am I going to get through this without exploding? Er, just don't look back, she quickly answered herself. "Easier said then done." She mumbled under her breath.

Spencer poured some of the oil on her hands. "Well Ashley I expect for you to return the favor when I finish here." She said playfully, gently starting to message Ashley's back.

Ashley grinned rakishly against her pillow. "I'll be more than happy to return the favor, Spence" She groaned, loving the sensual tender hands kneading the small of her back. "But don't expect a message."

Spencer chuckled warily. "Ashley I'm going straight to the bathroom for a very cold bath when I finish with you." She said, struggling with her own desire. The noises Ashley was making, the feel of her warm skin underneath her hands, and seeing the outside of her rounded breastswere driving Spencer crazy.

"Ooo I'll join you." Ashley moaned already feeling the tension in her muscles start to fade.

Spencer chuckled. "Ashley what would be the point in sitting in cold water with you? I highly doubt water temperature could keep you from having sex."

Ashley smiled. "Okay Spencer, since there's no getting out of sleeping with me, let's just avoid water completely and do it in bed. It'll make things easier for everyone."

"I'm sorry Ashley but we're not doing that kind of sleeping today." She stated casually, moving to Ashley shoulders.

Ashley couldn't believe what she was hearing. Spencer told her this while messaging her shoulders and Ashley would occasionally feel her nipples brushing against her skin, teasing her, and all she could think about was having sex with her. "Is giving me a message turning you off or something?" She asked confusedly.

Spencer paused. "You're kidding, right?" Ashley shook her head 'no.' "Ashley its worst than Niagara falls in my pants right now. Believe me, being turned off isn't my problem right now." She answered continuing her message.

"Then why don't you want to fu- Er, have sex?"

Her voice sounded bewildered to Spencer and it was almost as if she had never been turned down before in her life, which wouldn't have surprised Spencer. "Ashley after last night I think the only thing your body needs right now is rest." She explained patiently.

Ashley thought a moment, tracing invisible patterns on the bed sheets, she asked "How bad was I?"

Spencer briefly stopped and was surprised by Ashley's fearful, almost embarrassed, tone. "Do you want the truth?"

"Yes."

Spencer closed her eyes. "I thought you were going to die."

Ashley swallowed hard. "That bad?"

"Yes." Spencer opened her eyes and ran her hands down Ashley's sides. She was starting to think about last night and she just couldn't stop herself from asking Ashley the question that had been bothering her all night and morning long. "God Ashley, why heroin?" She asked with controlled anger. "I mean….what made you want to do something so horrible to yourself this time?"

Ashley sighed. "I didn't want heroin." She explained quietly. "I was there for…cocaine and then Cindy, or someone, gave me a drink and I felt really bad," She paused a moment to think. "I think they slipped something into my drink, a roofie or some shit, but they moved me to a chair….. and got a syringe, injected me with heroin, and I'm not sure what happened after that. How, or where, did you find me?" She asked curiously.

Spencer told Ashley everything that happened while rubbing her back. She told the rock star about the phone call she got from Pops, and how worried she was, and going to the hotel. She took a deep breath before telling Ashley about the video camera and the compromising position she had found her in. "Wait, they wanted to use me for a sex tape?" She asked thoroughly confused and angry.

"I guess so Ashley." She said apologetically. "There's tons of money for that sort of thing."

Ashley agreed and told her to continue. Spencer told her about throwing the camera out the window and how Roscoe came in the knick of time and kicked everyone out. Spencer didn't want to continue but Ashley insisted so she told her how sick she was; shivering, talking incoherently, confused, high, pale, and just completely distraught. "And you finally fell asleep around 5 this morning." She finished leaning over to rub the muscles around her neck.

Ashley let out a long groan. "I'm sorry for putting you through all that. Taking care of my pathetic ass-"

"Don't do that Ashley." Spencer gently interrupted. "Degrading yourself for something you had no control over isn't going to help anything. Now turn over so I can do your front."

Ashley chuckled and turned over. She watched Spencer's face closely as the blonde oiled up her hands. Her eyes were focused solely on her hands and her face was blushing furiously. Ashley smiled and couldn't stop her eyes from lowering, landing on Spencer's chest. She wanted to touch the blonde so bad. Images of them rolling around in bed played through her mind and she could feel her body heat rise to almost feverish levels.

Spencer ignored her body's reaction to seeing Ashley's body and started messaging the muscles on her waist. Her hands froze when she felt Ashley's fingertips stroke up and down her bare arm. She swallowed hard and continued messaging up her body, ignoring the Goosebumps erupting up her arm. She got to Ashley's breasts and stared down at her dark nipples. She barely kept herself from moving her head down and taking one of the perky nubs into her mouth. She quickly dismissed the thought and ran her hands up to Ashley's shoulders. She was on her knees, her body hovering -- not touching--over Ashley's and she found herself staring into her lover's eyes. There was so much emotion clouding dark brown orbs; want, need, desire, love. "Ashley," Spencer whispered lowering her head a little. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay." Ashley replied hoarsely running her hands up and down Spencer's naked sides. "You can tell me anything, Spencer."

"Ashley I bro-"

There must be something in the water
that turns your complexion to
the lovely shade of blue

There must be something in the way you say my name that makes me want to love you

"You should answer that." Spencer groaned rolling off of Ashley.

Ashley sighed and placed light kiss on her lips before sitting up and answering her cell phone. "Hello?"

"Ashley I need to see you, now." Pops angry voice filled her ear and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine, I'll be there in a second." She said closing her phone. With sorry brown eyes she looked over at Spencer and sighed. The blonde was lying flat on her back and the look on her face told Ashley she was somewhat disappointed, "I'm sorry, Spencer but Pops wants to see me."

Spencer sat up and placed her hand on the small of Ashley's back, rubbing soothing circles over her warm skin; she placed a kiss on her bare shoulder and murmured "its okay Ashley, we'll talk when you get back."

Ashley turned her head and placed a kiss on her blonde crown. "I won't be too long. " Spencer looked up and she cupped the side of her face. "I promise." Her lips brushed over Spencer's very briefly before she rolled out of bed.

Spencer sat on the bed, watching Ashley look around for her shirt, and her interest peeked when she caught a glimpse of Ashley's bare crack "Is there any underwear under those jeans?" She asked playfully.

Ashley bent down and grabbed her shirt. Standing back up slowly, she met Spencer's gaze and seductively moved her hips from side to side. "Why don't you come over here and see for yourself." She purred with a cocky smile.

She swallowed a few times to get salvia running down her all of a sudden dry throat as she watched Ashley's seductive dance. She was very surprised by her body's instant response to Ashley's actions and couldn't wait another second to touch her. Spencer got off the bed and walked over to her, also smiling smugly; she grabbed the back of her neck with one hand and her denim covered butt with the other. Their mouths joined and Spencer couldn't stop her hand from lowering, exploring the rock star's ass and thigh as she tugged on her bottom lip. Ashley parted her lips and easily accepted Spencer, moaning as the blonde suckled her tongue slowly. Spencer moved her hand from Ashley's neck and ran it over her taunt nipple, quivering abs, and finally stopping at her fly. Quickly unbuttoning her jeans, Spencer slipped her other hand in Ashley's boxers and both teens moaned when the assaulting hand came into contact with Ashley's bare ass. Their kiss intensified when Spencer started kneading her fleshly globe, digging blunt nails into her skin, Ashley broke the kiss and gasped when she felt Spencer nuzzle her neck with her lips while quickly shoving her jeans down. Spencer pulled her head back and stared down at the rock star's body.

Her breasts were medium sized, nicely rounded, with brown erect nipples screaming for attention. Her abdomen was very tight on her slim frame and well toned. Spencer's arousal shot sky high when her gaze lowered and landed on Ashley's underwear. They were very tight white girl boxer shorts that fit snugly around her hips, stopping a few inches below her crotch, wrapping around her thighs, they were practically see through and Spencer thought she would pass out from the amount of lust running through her body, almost making her dizzy. She looked up into hooded brown eyes, clouded with arousal, and was surprised by the closeness of their bodies. Ashley's quickening breaths fell over her face, around her lips and chin, and it took all of her self control to keep from kissing her irresistible lips. "I want to get a better look," She husked, her lips barely brushing over Ashley's as she spoke. Ashley could only nod her head 'yes' as she watched Spencer sink to her knees, her face inches away from her boxers.

Spencer stared up at Ashley, "These are the hottest things I've ever seen you wear." She breathed staring back at the underwear that fit Ashley like a second skin. Her hands moved, as if they had a life of their own, and touched Ashley's ankle, slowly making their way up smooth tan legs; it delighted her to feel Ashley's muscles twitch under her touch. She felt insecure being sexual with Ashley. The rock star had been with so many other girls that Spencer feared she wouldn't be 'good' enough for her. But that obviously wasn't the case. She could practically smell Ashley's excitement through the thin material of her underwear and it was driving Spencer mad with desire, but she kept her lust under control long enough to run her hands all over Ashley's calves and thighs. She couldn't explain it but she just wanted to know every inch of Ashley's body. She placed little kisses on her thighs while running her hands over Ashley's ass, kneading the flesh she found there, it wasn't long before Ashley's scent changed from light and exotic to musky and spicy.

Spencer could hear Ashley's light pants, smell her arousal, and feel her legs quiver at her touch, and it kind of scared her knowing she was the cause of it all. She realized she had no idea what she was doing and wasn't sure where to go from here. Feeling lost, she looked up at Ashley, not knowing what she wanted.

Ashley looked down at met her gaze. She looked confused, scared, and not the same cocky person who started all of this. Ashley lovingly ran her hands over her face, into her hair, and gently messaged the back of her head with loving fingertips, "We can stop." She said, her voice quivering. It will kill me but we can stop. "You don't have to continue, Spencer. It's okay."

Spencer smiled up at Ashley and looked back at her underwear. Feeling Ashley's hand in her hair made her feel a little better about what she was going to do. Without any hesitation, she moved forward and nuzzled the front of the white boxer shorts, causing Ashley to sigh unexpectedly.

Feeling the tip of her nose nuzzle her oversensitive clit made Ashley's thighs quiver and she knew standing was going to be a difficult task soon. "Fuck, Spencer." She moaned watching the blonde kiss up her body.

Spencer sucked and nipped the skin around her bellybutton and kissed every inch of her hot rock star abs before dipping her tongue into the depression of her navel. Ashley's hand was still in her hair, stroking the flawless blonde hair as she gazed down at Spencer. The throbbing in her sex was almost unbearable as she watched Spencer. The blonde was on her knees, shirtless, enjoying her body while making these little pleasurable sounds.

Spencer slid both her hands into the waistband of Ashley's shorts and slowly ran them down her legs. Ashley eagerly stepped out of her pants and underwear and kicked them aside. Her body shuddered as she felt Spencer's warm breath on her aching womanhood. She wanted so bad to just pull Spencer into her. The blonde's hands were messaging her thighs as she studied her sex with curiosity and longing pooling in dark grey eyes, and it was driving Ashley crazy but she didn't dare rush her. She knew this was Spencer's first time calling the shots and Ashley wanted her to do at her own pace, even if it killed her.

Spencer was in total awe as she stared at Ashley's sex. The dark brown hair above glistening lips were trimmed neatly into a landing strip and Spencer couldn't stop her finger from reaching out and tracing the exotic design. She looked up and was momentarily taken aback at how absolutely beautiful Ashley looked. Her face was flushed, her eyes hooded, her lips parted as she quickly breathed, and then their eyes met and Spencer could see all of the love the rock star held for her. "Please, Spencer, just do something." Ashley moaned desperately.

Spencer quickly turned her attention back to the skin between her legs and placed a tiny kiss on her landing strip. "As you wish," She murmured while bringing her fingers up to open Ashley's drenched folds. Running her tongue along her wetness, she heard Ashley sigh from above and moaned when Ashley moved her legs farther apart, giving her better access. It was her second time performing oral sex and Spencer found it very much to her liking. The first time was with Aiden. He had gotten a little too excited during the blow job and shoved his manhood too deep in her mouth, causing her to throw up in his lap. It was very embarrassing and Spencer never wanted to try oral sex again, which was okay with Aiden. But now, with Ashley, it was amazingly different from what she had done with Aiden. She enjoyed the rock star's taste, scent, and the noises erupting from deep in her throat. It was all deeply arousing the blonde as she circled the center of her pleasure.

Ashley softly cried out when she felt the warmth of Spencer's mouth envelop her throbbing clit. She started slowly thrusting her hips against Spencer's mouth while gently stroking her blonde hair. Her body screamed for release and she soon found herself moving more urgently against her, "Fuck Spencer," She breathed, "I…your fingers…..agh…please." She moaned, closing her eyes, needing to feel the blonde inside of her. She held onto Spencer's hair tightly as she felt the blonde's fingers press against her opening. "Oh Spencer." She gasped, feeling the blonde's fingers enter her for the first time. She couldn't remember the last time she had let someone do this to her, sober. She hated the idea of being fucked, but not now, not with Spencer. With Spencer it was probably the most pleasurable thing she had ever experienced. "Oh god," She moaned feeling how close she was. She started grounding her hips harder against Spencer as she felt the blonde's fingers and mouth start to pleasure her more urgently. "Spencerrr…" She screamed, her hips bucking wildly as she exploded against her lover. The room was spinning as she continued to feel Spencer plunge in and out of her. It was feeling the blonde's teeth graze over her sensitive clit that made her body arch and go stiff as she climaxed for a second time. "No more," She begged, trying to catch her breath as she held Spencer's head against her thigh. "Fuck, I don't think I can stand much longer." She panted.

Spencer kissed up her midriff as she slowly stood up on weak legs. "Come here, rock star." She husked leading them both to the bed. Spencer was the first to fall onto the large mattress, followed by Ashley, who wasted no time getting on her knees and removing Spencer's pants and underwear. Ashley closed the distance between them and claimed the blonde's lips roughly. Spencer returned it just as passionately and whimpered in protest when Ashley broke away, nibbling down her cheek. "I love you so much," She whispered hotly in her ear, "I'm going to show you how much, baby," Ashley dipped her tongue into Spencer's ear while running her hand up her body, fondling her lover's breast. She wasn't going to be slow and torturous like Spencer was to her, but fast and wild like she knew the blonde needed it. She could feel Spencer's desire coat her thigh as she nudged her legs apart and groaned when she felt the amount of wetness there. "You weren't kidding when you said Niagara falls," She panted kissing down the blonde's neck as Spencer grasped her hips and began to move urgently against her. "You're so fucking hot, Spencer." She encouraged, rolling the blonde's nipple between her fingers as she watched their lower bodies grind harder against each other.

Ashley captured the other nipple with her teeth, raking her teeth over the hardened bud, she ran her hand down the blonde's body and stilled it between her legs while suckling the nipple greedily. "Ashley," Spencer hissed, grinding furiously against the heel of the rock star's hand. "I love you, oh God how much I fucking love you." She moaned.

Ashley tugged on her nipple a final time, eliciting a whimper from Spencer, and gently lifted her head up. "I love you too, Spencer." She smiled moving her head down. Their lips pressed together hard and soon tongues met passionately as Ashley parted her lips. Feeling the rock star's fingers dip into her wetness, Spencer dug her nails feverishly into Ashley's back and shuddered when the heel of her upturned palm brushed against her clit. "You're so wet, so fucking hot, so ready for me." Ashley panted as she broke the kiss, running her fingers along slick folds.

"Only for you, rock star." Spencer whimpered closing her eyes.

Ashley sucked hard on the pulse point of her neck as she ran her thumb over Spencer's throbbing clit, causing her hips to jerk up as she cried out. "Is this for me too?" Ashley teased, slowly circling the hardened bud.

"Yes." Spencer choked out moving against Ashley's touch. "I'm all yours, Ashley. Forever."

Hearing her needy tone, Ashley didn't waste another second entering her warm wet center. "And I'm all yours, Spencer." Ashley breathed, kissing down her upper chest, taking a ready nipple into her mouth as her fingers began to plunge in and out of Spencer. "Forever," Ashley whimpered, feeling the nails in her skin start to claw down her back. It was a very pleasurable pain that turned Ashley on immensely as she added another finger into the blonde. She could feel the walls in the blonde's center tighten around her fingers and she groaned around the nipple in her mouth. "You are so so beautiful, Spencer." She husked moving up the blonde's body.

Feeling the rock star's lips move against hers, Spencer screamed her ecstasy into the warmth of Ashley's mouth and lifted her hips off the bed against the rock star's touch as her orgasm shot through her. Ashley continued to pleasure her as she rode the waves of her orgasm and didn't stop until she begged her to. Smiling, Ashley immediately rolled over onto her back, bringing the blonde on top of her; she started kissing her blonde crown while murmuring words of love to Spencer as she continued trembling against her.

Ashley lied flat on her back in the middle of the large mattress and moved one of her hands down the bed, grabbing the silk blanket folded by her thigh. With ease, she covered both her and Spencer with it and both teens groaned when the cool material hit their over heated bodies.

Spencer's entire body covered Ashley's, her hands buried under her back, as her head rested on the rock star's upper chest. "You are amazing." She panted, feeling Ashley's hand stroke her hair while the other rested on the small of her back. "Mmm what are you going to do about Pops?" She mumured closing her eyes.

"Fuck Pops." Ashley mumbled. "I can barely move, Spencer." She yawned. "Did I get any sleep last night? I'm never this tired after-"

"Love making." Spencer cut in quickly, not wanting to hear Ashley say 'fucking.' "And you didn't get much but you did get more than me."

Ashley kissed the top of her head, feeling bad. "I'm sorry I kept you up all night, Spencer. I'll try to do better next time."

"It's okay, Ashley." She reassured gently. "You can make it up to me by falling asleep right now and still being here when I wake up."

Ashley chuckled softly closing her own eyes. "Deal," She felt Spencer place a small kiss on the hollow of her throat and sighed happily. "I love you, Spencer."

Spencer smiled. "I love you too, my rock star."

--------

There must be something in the water
that turns your complexion to
the lovely shade of blue

There must be something in the way you say my name that makes me want to love you

Ashley groaned as tired brown eyes opened. She was seriously considering getting rid of her Motorola Razor, that also served as an annoying alarm clock, as she searched blindly around the bed for her cell phone. "Hello," She barked into the receiver, already knowing it was Pops. It was moments like these that made her wish he would kick the bucket already and leave her alone forever. The thought brought a smile to her face as she waited for his annoying, most likely pissed off, voice to fill her ear.

"Ashley where the hell are you? I've been waiting over 3 hours for your sorry ass to get here. What part of 'Ashley I need to see you, now' don't you fucking understand, huh?" He demanded seething with anger.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Well since you're done, I'll explain my reason for not being wherever the hell you're at." She started rubbing Spencer's back soothingly as she felt the blonde stir in her arms. "I fell asleep and, I don't know, just forgot to see you. Is it important?" She asked between yawns.

Pops snorted, "Well I got a very interesting phone call from a very upset, heartbroken, Aiden. I just wanted to know if you had anything to do with that?" He asked sarcastically. "When he told me Princess broke up with him I immediately put you're name out of my head, since you promised me Spencer would never leave him for you…." He trailed off but Ashley knew this was only the beginning of a very nasty ass chew. "Am I wrong to think that, Ashley?"

Ashley was a little taken aback by the news and didn't know how to answer Pops' question. Maybe she played a tiny part in their break up, okay a huge part, but she didn't want to give into Pops' questioning, knowing that would only give him an excuse to keep yelling at her, on the other hand, he would keep yelling at her anyway. "Of course you're not, Pops. You're right about every little fucking thing and not only am I always wrong but I'm also always the fucking problem, the one to blame, right?" She snarled, not giving him a chance to answer. "I'm so fucking fed up with the blame game, why can't you just accept the fact that not everything is going to go you're way? Why do you even fucking care about what happens between Spencer and me? It's my life so just fucking back off and quit trying to control it."

Pops laughed, "And when exactly did it become your life, Ashley? I've been controlling it since the day you were born sweetheart so listen, and listen good, because I'm only going to say this once. The second this shit with you and Princess hits the fan is the same second you're both gone. I'm so fucking tired of your bullshit, Ashley, and I know Spencer will be better off acting. More money. I don't know what the hell you're going to be doing and frankly I don't give a shit but I don't want you in this band anymore, Ashley. You're just too bad for it-"

Ashley angrily closed the phone, turned it off, and threw it off the side of the bed, not wanting to hear anymore of Pops' voice. This definitely wasn't the first time Pops had threatened to fire her but Ashley had a feeling he was serious this time and the thought of leaving the band left her feeling confused. What the hell would she do with her life? She knew money wasn't the issue. She could easily live 100 lifetimes with the amount of money she had in her bank account. The issue was her boredom. She didn't just want to spend the rest of her life in some expensive house doing nothing. No, she had to be productive, successful, and hell maybe even happy, but she had no idea how she was going to be all of that. All she knew was guitar playing, and as much as she loved it, she just wanted to do something new, that doesn't have anything to do with music, but that's only if Pops goes through with firing her. Until then, she was going to keep playing and not think about her future. It was just too depressing to think about the more she thought about it. Her biggest fear was ending up in a huge mansion, alone, with only drugs and whores to keep her company. The thought made her shiver and she immediately changed her focus from her future to the blonde in her arms.

Her hair was sprawled wildly over her chest as she slept soundly and Ashley couldn't stop her hand from moving up to touch the baby like skin on her face. It was so soft, smooth, and just felt wonderful under her fingertips. Ashley didn't stop stroking the side of her face until she saw the corner of her lips lift into a small smile. Spencer was awake. "Do you like that?" she asked softly, whisking away the blonde hair covering her neck.

Spencer's smile widened when she felt the rock star's hand start to tenderly massage the muscles on the back of her neck. "Of course I like it, Ashley." She opened her eyes and lifted her head. "In fact….I love it every time you touch me." She said meeting smiling brown eyes.

"You'll be singing a different tune in a second, Spencer." She promised cupping the back of her head. Ashley moved her head towards her own and their lips met softly and slowly. It gradually progressed and Ashley's mind screamed 'BINGO' when she felt Spencer remove her hands from under her back and place them on either side of her head. Ashley slyly ran her hands up Spencer's sides and started tickling the sensitive skin under her lover's arms.

"Ashley!" Spencer giggled immediately rolling off Ashley's body. She landed flat on her back beside the rock star and flailed around when Ashley straddled her waist and continued tickling her ribs.

"I thought you loved me touching you." She laughed, and stilled her fingers when Spencer started screaming, 'uncle'.

Spencer closed her eyes and fought hard to control her breathing. "That was not nice, Ashley." She said laughing a little. "I hate you now." She added playfully.

Ashley leaned over and kissed her chin. "I'm sorry, my love." She said meeting grey eyes. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Spencer chuckled and nodded her head 'yes'. "Food." She groaned along with her stomach.

That wasn't the answer Ashley was expecting. "You're hungry?"

Spencer's eyes widened a little. "You're not?"

The truth was she wasn't but she couldn't remember the last time she ate anything. "Food sounds good." She mused out loud. "What are you in the mood for?" She sat up on her knees and stared down at the blonde.

Spencer's gaze landed on Ashley's breasts and she immediately chastised herself for wanting to eat them instead of food. You need food not sex. "Um," She cleared her throat a little and met amused brown eyes. "I'm not sure. What do you suggest?"

"I suggest we shower and then I suggest we get into a limo where I will suggest what we should eat." She smiled. "How does that sound?"

"Confusing."

"Good." Ashley rolled out of bed and abruptly faced Spencer when she heard the blonde yelp 'I'm so sorry Ashley.'

Ashley was surprised by Spencer's mortified expression. "Sorry for what?" She asked slowly.

"Um," Spencer chuckled nervously. "You're back."

Ashley didn't say anything as she walked into the bathroom. Spencer waited nervously on the bed for Ashley's reaction and hoped she wouldn't be too mad at her. She had done the same thing to Aiden and he didn't take it to well. But she didn't blame him. Every time he laid down on his back, or take a shower, the scratches on his back would sting. Uncontrollable laughter soon filled the room and Spencer was up and in the bathroom in seconds. "You think they're funny?"

Ashley stood, back facing the mirror, with her head turned towards her reflection. The scratches weren't so bad. There were four light pink marks on each side of her spine, starting at the middle of her back, and ending by her hips. "You sure know how to mark you're territory." She teased meeting grey eyes in the mirror.

Spencer chuckled and then stopped when she saw her own reflection. There, on her pulse point, was the biggest hickey she had ever seen in her life. "Ashley," She hissed, staring bullets at the rock star. "It seems I'm not the only one who knows how to mark territory." Ashley faced her and shrugged sheepishly, mumbling a 'sorry'. "Ashley how am I supposed to cover this?" Turning back to the mirror to inspect the bruised skin.

"Turtle neck." She suggested lamely.

"Riiiight, it's only 100 degrees outside." She sighed and faced Ashley again. Ashley quickly opened her arms, beckoning Spencer for a hug, and was relieved to see her lover smile. Spencer didn't hesitate walking into the rock star's arms. She sighed her contentment as Ashley's warm arms wrapped around her body and nuzzled her neck. "We have to practice safer sex." She mumbled against her warm tanned skin.

Ashley chuckled. "Okay, I'll buy you mittens and you can buy me a muzzle."

"Deal." She looked up and shared a chaste kiss with Ashley, blushing when her stomach chose that moment to grumble.

Ashley found it incredibly adorable and kissed her forehead. "Lets shower and feed that thing complaining in your stomach."

"Lets? As in you and me?"

"Yes." Ashley answered hesitantly. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Yes." Spencer nearly shouted. "Ashley I need food now and If we both go in there, naked, wet, and well let's face it Ashley, your always horny, we'll never get anything to eat."

Ashley wanted to laugh at how serious Spencer looked but didn't dare. She knew provoking Spencer right now wouldn't be very wise. "I promise nothing sexual. We're just going to shower, Spencer." She continued when Spencer continued to stare at her skeptically. "I'm hungry too, ya know?"

Spencer sighed. "Fine. But you better keep you're promise Ashley."

"I will." Ashley answered following the blonde into the shower.

--------

Spencer was really starting to regret allowing Ashley to shower with her. When they turned the water on, ran their soapy hands all over each other, and kissed a bit is when she should have stopped things, but couldn't. And that's what really pissed her off. Her inability to tell Ashley 'no'. Now, food was the last thing on Spencer's mind as Ashley pressed her firmly against the cold tile wall and began kissing and licking her way down her throat, over her collarbones, and finally her breasts. "Ashley," Spencer inhaled sharply, feeling the rock star's tongue flick her taunt nipple. "You promised." She groaned along with her stomach.

Ashley pulled away and sighed. "You really want me to stop?" She breathed meeting hooded grey eyes.

Spencer didn't want her to but she was starving, and she knew Ashley needed food too. Especially after throwing up all night long. "Yes." She answered honestly.

Ashley mumbled 'Okay' and followed Spencer out of the shower. They dried each other's bodies' thoroughly, sharing light kisses and laughs, and then changed in the other room. After dressing, doing their hairs, and applying make up; they walked out of their room and headed towards the lobby. They looked around and when they realized it wasn't so busy they just decided to eat at the hotel's restaurant. The waitress led them to a small table and Ashley was first to take her seat, followed by Spencer, and they both started looking at their menus right away.

"What would you guys like to drink?" The waitress asked kindly.

"Coffee, orange juice, hot chocolate, and chocolate milk." Ashley answered not missing a beat while continuing to scan over the menu.

The waitress didn't say anything as she wrote down Ashley's drink order. "And what would you like?" She asked meeting Spencer's gaze.

"Sprite, please." She answered, her eyes never leaving the menu.

"Alrighty. I'll be right back for your food order in a minute." She said before leaving.

Ashley couldn't really focus on anything. Her mind was too busy processing what Pops had told her. Spencer and Aiden breaking up was not something she wanted to deal with right now. It wasn't because Spencer would always be around her anymore, it was the media she was worried about. They would always be around Spencer. Asking her questions, taking pictures, and then rumors will start. Ashley looked over at her and wanted to chide her for breaking it off with Aiden before they had planned. "Spencer when did you break up with Aiden?" She asked lightly.

Spencer met her gaze and was surprised by the question. She didn't tell Ashley anything about Aiden. Her tone told Spencer she wasn't too angry but she didn't sound too happy either. "This morning, when Mike came to visit you." She answered honestly. "I can't be in the same room with that moron for too long, Ashley. I'd end up killing him."

Ashley smiled, despite the fact that Mike was her best friend, and didn't say anything as the waitress came back with their drinks. "Are you guys ready to order?"

Ashley nodded, "I'll have fries and a grilled cheese."

The waitress wrote it down and looked at Spencer. "I'll have a burger with fries, extra cheese on the burger."

After writing down Spencer's order, the waitress thanked them and headed back into the kitchen.

Ashley took a sip of her coffee. "Spencer you have to talk to Aiden and convince him to pretend to be your boyfriend for a little longer. If the media finds out about this, it's not going to be fun for anyone."

Spencer looked at Ashley. "I don't know, Ashley." She sighed. "I caught him cheating." Spencer was curious to see what Ashley's reaction would be and was surprised when the rock star's facial expression didn't change. "You don't look too surprised."

"I'm not Spencer." She looked at her orange juice. "I already knew he was cheating on you." She shrugged. "I caught him when I went to pick him up for Glen's birthday party."

Spencer was shocked and somewhat angry at Ashley for not telling her. "Why didn't you say anything?" She asked quietly.

Ashley looked at her. "It was none of my business, Spencer. Plus, I don't know, I didn't want you to think I was jealous or something."

Spencer took her hand from under the table and gave it a gently squeeze. "It's okay Ashley. It doesn't really matter now." She sighed. "And as for Aiden…..I'll talk to him before this reporter shows up." Spencer's gaze fell on the woman slowly approaching them.

Ashley shifted a bit in her seat. "Spencer about Madison, she's here."

"Ashley is Madison Hispanic with long wavy brown hair/eyes wearing a business like suit with black heels, holding a notebook?"

"Um, yeah that sounds like her." She gaped. "Have you met her before?"

Spencer shook her head 'no'. "Look who's coming towards the table." Ashley turned her head and was surprised to see the reporter walking towards them. "She looks like a reporter," She looked at Ashley. "Is that Madison?"

"Yeah, that's her." Ashley mumbled.

"Well it's good to see your feeling better," Madison said reaching the table, looking at Ashley.

"Have a seat." Ashley said motioning towards the empty chair sitting across from her and Spencer.

Madison did so and smiled at Spencer. "Hi, I'm Madison Duarte." She offered Spencer her hand.

Spencer took it and smiled back. "I'm Spencer-"

"Carlin." Madison added quickly. "Believe me, I know who you are." She pulled her hand back. "How's Aiden?" She asked casually. "I'm surprised he's not here with you right now. I heard he was in town…"

Ashley was nervous as hell but sat calmly and coolly in her seat, picking at the table cloth. "He's busy with the band." She answered evenly, meeting her gaze. "And I thought this interview thing was for me? Not Spencer."

Madison eyed Ashley with amusement. She assumed Ashley wasn't one of those attention whore celebrities but wasn't so sure now. Her eyes were hard, her tone was bitchy, and it was obvious she didn't want Spencer to have any of her spot light. "Well I wasn't really shooting for an interview when I came over here." She sat up straighter in her seat. "I was just making friendly conversation." She added defensively.

Ashley slowly shook her head from side to side. "That magazine you work for isn't paying you for 'friendly' conversations," She leaned back in her seat and casually folded her arms over her chest. "Is it Madison?"

"No, it's not." She replied trance like. Despite her sullen attitude, Madison still found the rock star to be incredibly sexy. Staring into her cold brown eyes, she could tell Ashley was going to be full of trouble. And trouble was always good for her career, and bank account. "¿Y qué puedo hacer yo para usted, Ashley?"

Her name was purred and that made Ashley grin a little. "Usted puede hacer su trabajo." She reached out and grabbed her coffee. "y entonces me sale solo."

Madison stood up from her seat. "usted estará rogando más cuando soy hecho con usted."

Ashley chuckled deeply. "I never beg."

We'll see. Madison faced Spencer. "It was nice meeting you, Spencer." She said before turning around.

Spencer watched Madison leave until she was out of sight and then turned to Ashley. "You guys were flirting." She stated confusedly. "What were you saying?"

Ashley drank some more of her coffee. "She asked 'what can I do for you' I said 'you can do your job and then leave me alone' and then she said 'you will be begging for more when I am done with you' and I told her I never beg."

Spencer was quiet for awhile. Her first impression of Madison wasn't bad at all. She thought Madison looked professional, except for her short skirt, and she seemed nice, but, what really threw her off were her eyes. There was something psychotic, almost seductive, about them and it made Spencer wonder what she was really after. Ashley or a report? "What do you think about her, Ashley?" She asked eyeing the rock star.

Ashley shrugged. "She seems okay." She looked into Spencer's grey eyes. "I wish she weren't here but I don't think she'll be as bad as I thought." She paused a moment. "We still have to keep a safe distance away from each other, but it won't be so bad." She leaned over and kissed Spencer's lips softly, not caring about the people in the room. "It's only for a few days, Spencer. We'll get through this."

Spencer smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

--------

Ashley stepped onto the tour bus and turned around when she reached the kitchen. She met Madison's gaze and opened her arms. "This is going to be home sweet home for the next few days." She hated being inside of the tour bus alone with Madison but didn't have much of a choice. Spencer went off to find Aiden while the other band members were eating in the restaurant with Pops. "What do you think?" She asked casually.

Madison looked around and was happy she didn't have to spend her time with the band in a van. "It's big and beautiful." She said eyeing everything in the room. "Probably worth more than the house I live in." She chuckled walking past Ashley. "Where am I going to sleep?" She asked eyeing the bunks with disgust.

Ashley grinned and walked up to her. "Well there's the top," She patted the top bunk. "And then there's the bottom," She kicked the bottom bunk. "Which do you want?" She asked meeting dark brown eyes.

Madison's lips curled up slightly. "I want you to be the top." She looked down at the bottom bunk and kneeled. "I'll just sleep happily under you." She called out slipping into the small sleeping space.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "That's fine with me." She walked towards the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. "So what do you think about underage drinking?" She asked opening the cold Heineken. "Does it make underage celebrities look bad?" She took a healthy swallow of her beer while throwing the cap away.

"Well…..it's not something I approve of and It does make underage celebrities look bad." she answered while lying in her bunk. "Why do ask."

Ashley took another swallow of her beer. "I was just wondering." She heard Madison stir inside the bunk and quickly threw her beer away in the trash compactor.

Madison stood from the bunk and ran her hands over her clothes while looking at Ashley. "So what would you be doing right now if I wasn't here?" She asked casually.

Heavy make out session with Spencer. Ashley shrugged. "I'd probably be outside smoking a cigarette."

Madison was a little surprised by the blunt answer. "Oh, you smoke?"

Ashley stuck her hands in her pockets. "Who doesn't?"

Well that was true, Madison thought. There was hardly anyone in Hollywood who didn't smoke. But most of them were doing it legally. "How do you buy cigarettes at your age? You're 17, right?"

"Right, and its called money." She shrugged again. "I happen to have a lot of it. So much that I can easily bribe the person working behind the counter to sell me a pack of cigarettes."

"Well Ashley I don't mean to sound so, I don't know, motherly or whatever but smoking is really bad for you." She said with genuine concern. "My grandfather died of lung cancer because of it."

"I'm not stupid, Madison. I know how dangerous smoking is." She smirked. "I just don't care."

Hearing the door open, Ashley turned her head and was glad to see Spencer step in. "Madison Pops wanted to talk to you." She said standing beside Ashley near the trash compactor.

"Excuse me."

Ashley joyfully watched Madison exit the bus before turning her attention back to Spencer. "That was fast. Did you talk to Aiden?"

Spencer groaned and pressed her face against Ashley's shoulder. "He hates me Ashley. He didn't let me say more than a handful of words before telling me to get out of his sight." She looked up at the rock star. "But he agreed to pretend to be a couple, so, mission accomplished, right?"

Ashley turned her head. "Right." She answered cupping the side of her face. Ashley kissed her briefly at first but Spencer wasn't having it. The blonde pulled her head down for more and then abruptly broke the kiss when Ashley slid her tongue into her mouth.

"Ashley have you been drinking?" She asked suspiciously.

"A little." She mumbled.

Spencer sighed, mostly out of frustration. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, always doing something bad. If its wasn't drugs than it was alcohol. Spencer just didn't understand it. She thought people mostly drank and did drugs because of depression, but wasn't she making Ashley happy? Was happiness enough to help Ashley. "Ashley, I….I.. don't know how to help you."She confessed staring deeply into her eyes. "Can I help you?"

Ashley moved away from Spencer. "I don't need help, Spencer." She stood by the fridge and faced Spencer with her hands buried deep in her pockets. "So don't worry about me, okay?" She added in a tone that told Spencer to drop it. But she didn't.

"Ashley you do need help." She pushed, stepping closer to Ashley. "Most people our age just don't do the things you're constantly doing."

Ashley frowned. "I hate to break it to you, Spencer but most people aren't me." She stared defiantly into grey eyes for a few more seconds before turning and walking into the back room.

Spencer sighed and walked over to the couch. She took a seat and stared blankly at the TV. She had no idea how to help Ashley, and Ashley did need help. Spencer slid her purse down her arm and took out her cell phone. Walking outside, she dialed her mom's number and waited patiently for her to answer. "Hey, Honey. How are you?"

Spencer leaned back against the tour bus. "Mom you sound out of breath…..did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Not really I was just working out but I need a break." Paula sighed as she got off her treadmill. "So what's up?"

Spencer wasn't ready to tell her mom about breaking up with Aiden, knowing her mother wouldn't like it, but she did have to talk to her. "Mom I need information, and I think you're the only one who can give it to me."

Paula started to worry as her daughter's serious, almost fearful, tone came through the receiver. "What's wrong, honey?"

Spencer swallowed hard. "Mom I have this friend and I think she's addicted to cocaine-"

"What?" Paula demanded sternly. "Spencer if your doing drugs-"

"Mom it's not me, it's my friend-"

"Oh, I feel better now knowing my daughters new friends are cocaine addicts." She paused a moment. "What the hell are you thinking hanging around drug addicts, Spencer?"

"Mom, it's one of the other band members." She explained sadly. "It's Ashley and I think she has a real problem but I have no idea how to help her." She looked down at her shoes. "I really care about her Mom."

"Spencer quitting cocaine isn't as easy as it sounds."

"I'll help her Mom, I just want to know how to do that."

"First of all Spencer, does Ashley want to quit?" She questioned calmly.

Spencer opened and then closed her mouth. She really had no idea if Ashley wanted to quit or not. If Ashley could quit or not. "I don't know." She answered honestly.

Paula sighed. "I'm sorry, Honey. But she has so to want to quit. Until then, You have two choices. Accept Ashley for who she is or move on. Make new friends." Please make new friends.

"Thanks, Mom." She murmured into the phone. "I have to get going now." She lied, not in the mood to talk.

After exchanging goodbyes, Spencer closed her phone and kicked a nearby rock. It seemed as though there was only two choices for her. Accept Ashley for who she is, a drug addict, or move on. She didn't want to move on, but she couldn't just stand around and watch Ashley do cocaine. She felt scared and angry but she was happy being with Ashley and she knew Ashley was happy being with her. Spencer looked at the back room window. She would be patient with Ashley, stay strong, until Ashley truly desired help for her addiction, because she knew it was pretty pointless to try to help someone who doesn't have the mindset, or desire, to quit something as addicting as cocaine. "You have to come around sooner or later Ashley." She murmured to herself. "This could kill you."

--------

Ashley sat in the passenger seat, playing her guitar. They were on their way to Texas and Ashley dreaded the long bus drive. She was used to being in the tour bus for hours at a time but would rather be on a plane and get to their destination in hours instead of a days. She looked in the back and watched Glen try to teach Spencer how to play Halo 2. They hadn't said anything to each other since Ashley locked herself in the back room, and it kind of worried Ashley. She wanted to fix things between them but couldn't since Madison was watching her like a hawk. It was very uncomfortable for Ashley being in the same room as the reporter. Madison would stare at her for long moments at a time before looking at her laptop and typing. It drove Ashley to the current position she was in now. Sitting next to AJ while playing her acoustic guitar.

AJ glanced over at her. "Can we please listen to the radio, Ashley? You're a great musician and all but I want to listen to something more…..fun."

Ashley stopped playing and looked over at him. "Are you saying my guitar playing is boring?" She questioned slightly offended. But then she remembered it was AJ's opinion and didn't care.

"No, it's just I want to listen to rap." He said bluntly. "I know you like rap to so put the guitar away and find us something fun to listen to."

Ashley wasn't in the mood to argue so put her guitar aside and turned on the radio. She set the sound system to only play in the front and stopped on the first rap radio station she found. Brown eyes flicked over to one of the side mirrors and her gaze landed on the 'Suffocate me Blind' tour bus riding closely behind them. She couldn't stand the thought of spending the rest of the day with Madison. "Next stop I think I'm going to go hang with Mike."

AJ shrugged. "Why are you telling me this? I don't care what you do."

"I'm telling you this so when I get off and don't come back on you'll know the reason why." She smirked. "Of course I wouldn't be surprised if you just drove off without me."

AJ smiled. "You know me to well."

--------

They stopped at a gas station around 9 P.M. and Ashley was ecstatic. She could finally get away from Madison and have a bit of privacy, maybe even some fun, with Mike and the other band members. Standing up, she looked around at everyone else and smiled. Spencer and Glen had fallen asleep on the couch, Spencer's head resting against his shoulder. Clay was in his bunk doing only God knows what, and Madison sat at the booth working on her laptop. She looked back over at AJ. "I'm not coming back on so drive off when you're ready." After AJ's nod she got off the bus and walked towards Mike. The blonde drummer was walking towards the store. "Hey, I want to spend the night, is that cool?"

Mike wrapped an arm around both her shoulders and pulled her close. Ashley could smell the alcohol and pot on his clothes and breath and it didn't bother her. She was too used to it. "It's very cool." He let go of her and moved away to open the store door for her.

Ashley stepped inside, not really wanting anything. She stood by the cashier and watched Mike grab a whole bunch of food. Mainly chips, candy, and lots of doughnuts, Twinkies, and rice crispy treats. She helped him carry some of the bags onto the bus and her blood raced with anticipation when she saw all of the drugs he had laid out on the kitchen booth. She looked around the room and realized Aiden was nowhere to be seen. "Where's Aiden?" She asked Mike.

He grabbed a bag of chips while answering, "In the back sleeping."

Ashley greeted the other band members before turning her attention back to the drugs. She stared at them for a while not really feeling anything other than anticipation. She didn't feel any guilt, fear, or disappointment as she picked up the razor blade and started pouring cocaine onto the table. Her mind screamed 'pathetic' but she didn't care as she cut up her lines. Nothing really mattered to her as she snorted the cocaine up her nose. She snorted 4 long lines for a good high and walked over to the refrigerator for a beer. Her highs weren't as great as they used to be but alcohol and pills helped solve that problem. She picked up a couple of pain killers and quickly swallowed them down with the beer. Her lips soon lifted into a smile as she started feeling the affects of the drugs. She walked over to the couch and flopped down next to Mike and the other band members. They were talking about guy stuff, mainly cars and sex, while passing around a bong. Ashley easily accepted it when it was passed to her and choked a little on the smoke before passing it on to Mike. Her gaze landed on her hand and shirt. Drops of blood was falling from her face but she didn't panic. With two fingers, she touched the skin under her nose, and didn't feel anything, but when she pulled her hand back she saw the blood staining her fingertips and laughed. "I'm so fucked." She slurred letting her had fall back on the couch. "So so fucked." But in a good way.

--------

Spencer felt the bus pull to a stop and opened her eyes. The room was completely dark and she couldn't tell whose shoulder she was sleeping on. Carefully, she brought her hand up to the person's chest and felt no boobs. It obviously wasn't Ashley, she realized while standing. She walked to the front of the bus and stopped in front of AJ. He was just standing from his seat. "Where did we stop?" She asked curiously.

"Gas station." He answered with a smile. "I'm following the bus your boyfriends on and I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up crashing into a mountain something."

Spencer looked confused. "What do you mean?"

AJ didn't say anything as he took Spencer's arm and led her to the large windshield. Spencer watched the driver for Aiden's band step out first. He looked and walked okay but then she saw Mike. He staggered out of the bus and had to hold on to it to keep from falling. John came out next and fell face first into the concrete. Her breath caught when she saw Ashley step out. She wore sunglasses, so Spencer couldn't see her eyes, but her body language told Spencer she was high on something. Ashley swayed as she stood in place, smoking a cigarette while laughing at John. Her other hand was occupied by a beer and there was dried blood all over her lips and chin.

"My God," Spencer gasped looking at AJ. He was just smiling at them all. "When did she leave? What time is it now?"

AJ met her gaze. "Well she got off around 9 and it's now…" He checked his cell phone. "2 A.M."

Spencer stared at Ashley a moment longer before turning around and getting off the bus. Feeling angry, she closed the distance between them and took Ashley's hand. She didn't want Ashley near her 'friends' a second longer. They were no good for her and it pissed Spencer off that Ashley liked them so much. The rock star didn't say anything as Spencer grabbed her hand and led them back to the bus, stopping occasionally to help Ashley off the ground when ever she tripped. Spencer could smell the drugs and alcohol on the rock star as she helped Ashley get on the bus, and it took all of her will power to keep from gagging. "You need a shower, Ashley." She said staring at the blood on her face. "Are okay with that?" She asked gently.

"Huuh?" She slurred grinning.

Spencer sighed and took that as 'yes'. They walked silently to the back, trying not to wake Madison; Spencer quietly opened the bathroom door and pulled Ashley into the room with her. Ashley lost her footing and fell heavily against the glass shower door, chuckling as she slid down to the floor.

Spencer was immediately on the floor with her. "Ashley you have to stay quiet, Honey." She whispered near her ear. "We can't wake Madison up." She removed Ashley's sunglasses and stared into unfocused, red, and terribly glazed brown eyes. "God Ashley." She gasped, trying not to cry. "Why do you do this to yourself?" She asked not really expecting an answer. Ashley was too busy staring intently at the bright light bulb to answer. The light did nothing to lessen how dilated her eyes were and that scared Spencer. "Come on, Ashley. You need a shower." She wrapped one of Ashley's arms around her neck and wrapped the rock star's waist with her arm and stood, bringing them both up. She let go of Ashley and quickly caught her before she fell down again. "Okay I guess standing isn't an option." She sat Ashley on the toilet seat and kneeled down in front of her. She took off her shoes first, and then moved up and removed her belt, pants, shirt and finally bra. Ashley didn't squirm at all as Spencer removed her clothes. She just sat still staring into the light bulb, smiling.

Spencer stared at Ashley and then the shower. She knew Ashley wouldn't be able to wash herself so stood up and started removing her own clothing. Completely undressed, Spencer opened the shower door and started the water. When it was warm enough she faced Ashley again and helped her stand. Standing, Ashley pushed her away and started hugging herself, shrinking away from the blonde. Spencer was confused by the behavior and could feel tears of frustration spill from her eyes. "Ashley," She whispered placing her hand on her shoulder. Ashley whimpered and violently shook the hand off her body. Spencer wiped off the tears running down her cheeks and walked slowly closer to Ashley. The rock star's back faced her and Spencer didn't stop until their bodies were a breath away. She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the back of her neck. "It's okay, love," She soothed kissing the skin behind her ear. "Everything will be okay." She trailed kisses along her shoulders while one of her hands rested on her stomach, and gradually felt Ashley start to loosen up. "I love you so much, Ashley." She breathed resting her forehead against Ashley's left shoulder bladr. "Why can't that be enough for you?" Ashley didn't answer but Spencer didn't expect her to. When the rock star was relaxed enough she grabbed her hand and led them both into the shower. Ashley gasped as the warm water hit her skin and fiercely wrapped her arms tightly around Spencer's body, burying her head against her neck, she shivered uncontrollably.

"It's so..soo..fuc…fuc..king co..l..ld," She panted as her teeth began to chatter.

"It's warm, Ashley." She soothed running her hands up and down the rock stars back. "Shhh, just relax baby. We're almost finished." She murmured feeling the rock star shiver harder against her. Spencer only stayed long enough in the shower to wash Ashley's face before opening the shower door. "Okay, Ashley. We're getting out now." She explained gently, stepping out with Ashley following.

She dried Ashley off and then wrapped the towel around her shivering form. "Do you want to go to bed, Honey?" She asked cupping the side of her face. She looked into Ashley's bloodshot eyes and sighed when she realized the extent of her high. "What am I going to do with you?" She asked helping Ashley into the back room. The rock star immediately fell face first into the bed while Spencer closed and locked the door. She turned around and leaned heavily against the door while watching Ashley. She lied in the middle of the bed in the fetal position, shivering while scratching her arm furiously. "Ashley what are you doing?" She asked concerned while joining her on the bed.

Ashley continued scratching her arm despite feeling Spencer's hand on top of hers. She could feel them, thousands of them, just eating away at her skin as she fought hard to breathe. "Get them off Spencer," She pleaded with tears running down her face. "Just please get them off me."

Spencer stared helpless down at Ashley as she continued scratching her arm. She didn't understand what Ashley was talking about. Staring at her arm, Spencer saw absolutely nothing. "Ashley your fine." She reassured looking into her tear stained face. "There's nothing wrong with you, Sweetheart."

"I….I..can feel them," She sobbed, "Their everywhere, Spencer. Please just make them go away….. please.."

Spencer couldn't believe what she was seeing. Ashley lying in the fetal position, scratching the hell out of her arm, crying, begging, and stressing herself out. It made Spencer wonder what was so great about cocaine. Ashley looked like she was experiencing pain, not pleasure. Where's the fun in doing this drug? She asked herself. It tore her apart seeing Ashley so vulnerable, lost, and hurt, but it hurt even more knowing Ashley did this to herself, on purpose. "C'mere Ashley." She soothed, pulling the distraught rock star against her body.

Ashley buried her face into Spencer's neck while sobbing uncontrollably. The feeling wouldn't go away. She felt as if her skin was being eaten away at by millions of hungry ants. All of them crawling on her inner arm, just biting and tearing off her flesh. "Make them go away, Spencer. Please just make them go away." She repeated against Spencer's skin.

Spencer lovingly stroked Ashley's hair while whispering soothingly to her. She could feel her own tears pooling in tired grey eyes as Ashley continued to beg and sob. It hurt so much hearing Ashley's misery and pain but she didn't dwell on that for too long as she started stroking her bare back. "Shhh, Ashley you're okay, love. You're okay." She repeated closing her eyes. She continued stroking her back as if in a trance and started falling asleep as Ashley's sobs lessened.

Sleep was the last thing on Ashley's mind as she lied on top of Spencer. She felt the little ants on her arm move throughout the rest of her body and it was torturous feeling them tear off her flesh. As time passed her high started to slowly fade and she felt depressed as she started to come down. She cried for no apparent reason and didn't realize she was standing until she looked down at her feet. "Get the fuck off me," She murmured scratching her arm again. That did nothing and she was starting to get desperate. Dropping to her knees, she felt around under the bed and pulled out a black shoe box. Opening her cocaine kit, she pulled out the razor and started savagely cutting the skin on her inner arm, trying to kill the ants. She couldn't feel the razor cut through her skin as she made multiple large scratches all over her arm.

Spencer felt the bed shift and opened her eyes. She watched Ashley stand and was confused when she knelt down. She sat up a little and had watched the rock star pull out the shoe box. And then with horror filled grey eyes she watched Ashley slash her skin open several times with a razor blade. She was shocked still for a second and couldn't move. But she soon got over her shock and rushed over to the rock star. She quickly pulled the deadly razor blade out of Ashley's grasp just as she was about to slit open her wrist and took her hand. "My God, Ashley." She gasped staring at the bloody mess that was her inner arm. She looked into vacant brown eyes, "Why did you do this?" She asked softly.

Ashley looked down at her arm. "I…God, Spencer they were trying to kill me. I had to stop them." She explained frantically looking back into her eyes. "They wouldn't go away."

Spencer shook her head slowly side to side. "They were never there to begin with Ashley." She said with tears running down her face. "It was all in your head, Sweetheart."

Ashley tilted her head to the side. "My head?" She questioned with a small smile. "I don't think I have one."

Spencer dropped Ashley's hand and scooted back against the bed. "You have one Ashley. It's just….lost right now." She explained sadly.

Ashley stared at her moment and got on her hands and knees. She moved over to Spencer and kissed her chin softly. "I love you, Spencer." She said accommodating herself between Spencer's legs. Her face buried in Spencer's neck, Ashley smiled while closing her eyes. "Did you know that?" She asked quietly.

Spencer wrapped her arms around Ashley and kissed the top of her head. "I know Ashley." She let her head fall back and stared at the ceiling. "I love you too."

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A nightmare sprang Ashley up from bed and she groaned as soon as she felt the sharp pain in her arm. She brought it up for inspection and was surprised to see her forearm and wrist wrapped up. She thought back to this morning and remembered what happened with the razor blade but didn't know how her arm got wrapped up. Staring at the large bandage, Ashley felt nothing. Images of what happened, how she cut her arm multiple times, played through her mind and she still felt absolutely nothing. No disgrace, no guilt, not even embarrassment! And it was all very weird to her. For the first time in her life she felt detached from reality and nothing was real to her anymore. With surreal like movements, she carefully unwrapped her arm and stared at all of the dried up cuts feeling nothing. The bed shifted and Ashley didn't need to turn her head to know who it was. She looked over at Spencer and met concerned grey eyes. "I'm scared." She whispered honestly. "I've never felt like this before." She added looking back down at her arm. "I…I've never hallucinated so badly before," She shuddered as she remembered the feeling of ants eating away at her skin. "It scares me so fucking much, Spencer. I….I need help, don't I?" She looked over at Spencer with pleading brown eyes. "Can you help me?"

It felt so right being in her arms. Ashley smiled as she pulled back and met tired grey eyes. The smile slid off her face and formed into a frown. She realized how tired Spencer looked and felt bad. Looking away, she stood up and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. She was so sick of herself. It seemed as though tiring Spencer was the only thing she was good at. And it made her feel bad. "Spencer I'm really going to try." She faced Spencer and sunk to her knees, taking in Spencer's surprised expression; Ashley smiled softly and took her hand. "I mean it. I'm done with drugs."

Brown eyes focused solely on the grey ones looking back into hers. Spencer smiled, but it wasn't all too convincing. Ashley couldn't help but wonder if Spencer believed her or not. She looked away and bit down on her bottom lip. Could I really give up cocaine? The question seemed simple as it floated through her mind, but it wasn't. The soft white powder was her life. The only thing that has been keeping her up and running for so long in the music industry. Staring at the floor, Ashley didn't know if giving it up would be possible or not. Brown eyes closed as Ashley sighed. I guess Spencer isn't the only one who doesn't think I can do this. Feeling a hand cup the side of her face, Ashley opened her eyes and looked up into Spencer's encouraging features. "I'm glad you want to quit Ashley." Her smile tightened a little, worrying Ashley. "But-"

"You don't think I can do it." Ashley accused dryly. "But I guess I don't blame you." Her shoulders slumped as she moved away from Spencer; sitting with her back against the edge of the bed, she crossed her legs and stared blankly at her arm. God, the cuts looked terrible and Ashley knew the media would just love them. Her mind was already preparing itself for the bullshit stories that would come from them.

Hearing the bed shift, Ashley turned her head and watched Spencer sink to the floor next to her. She looked somewhat troubled. "Ashley, it's not that I don't think you can do it, It's just…" Spencer blew out a frustrated breath before continuing. "Are you sure you're completely finished with cocaine? You're not going to use on the weekends, when you're around it, or at some party?"

Ashley didn't hesitate answering. "I'm done Spencer. It's just getting way too out of control." She held up her arm. "Look at this. I couldn't even feel any of it," She stared at the light red cuts. "and that scares the shit out of me. I feel like I'm slowly slipping away from reality, and you. And I don't want that to happen. I love you Spencer." She met her gaze again feeling extremely nervous. Ashley Davies was not one to speak her emotions but when your on the verge of losing the ability to feel them, you get desperate.

Spencer smiled, and it seemed real, It was real, and that relieved Ashley. "Then I will help you, Ashley. But it's not going to be easy." Grey eyes lowered and landed on her arm. "Come on, let me wrap that up for you again."

Ashley silently stood up and took a seat on the bed, watching Spencer retrieve the first aid kit.

-----------

Ashley opened the door and stepped out with Spencer following behind. The bus pulled to a stop and she assumed they were at a hotel. Brown eyes met surprised blue and she internally groaned when Glen put down his magazine and stood up from the couch. "What the hell happened to you?" He asked taking her arm.

"Fuck." Ashley hissed quickly pulling her arm out of his grasp. "That hurt." She snapped.

"Sorry." Glen looked over at Spencer. She was standing at Ashley's side now. "What happened to her?"

Ashley answered before Spencer had a chance to open her mouth. "Nothing. It's not important."

"I beg to differ."

Ashley looked over Glen's shoulder and met Madison's eyes. She was sitting at the booth, laptop in front of her, staring amusingly at the scene. "Good morning." Ashley greeted, feeling slightly nervous. She had no idea how she was going to explain her arm to the reporter. "Sleep well?"

Madison moved her head from side to side. "I have a slight pain in my neck but other than that, I slept okay." She looked over at Spencer. "And how did you sleep?" Her eye brow raised a little. "Does Ms. Davies make a good roommate?"

Ashley fought back an eye roll as she looked over at Spencer. She knew Madison was just teasing by her tone but still felt nervous. Meeting grey eyes, she could tell Spencer was nervous too. "Yeah, I hope I don't snore too loud." She added playfully.

Spencer forced a slight chuckle. "You were fine, Ashley." She cleared her throat a little, avoiding Madison's gaze. "I think I'll go and check the hotel out now."

"Aiden was here this morning." Glen mentioned, burying his hands in his pockets. "He wanted you to meet him at the hotel's restaurant."

The idea of eating breakfast with Aiden made Spencer feel uncomfortable. She predicted awkward silences, name calling, and a lot of guilt. "Where are you headed, Glen?" She asked curiously.

"I was thinking of checking into my room." Glen said with a shrug. "Maybe take a nap."

"Cool, I'll follow you there." She looked over at Ashley. "See you later." She leaned over and gave Ashley a friendly peck on the cheek.

Ashley smiled as Spencer pulled back. "Alright."

Spencer said goodbye to Madison and walked out with Glen.

Ashley turned around, facing the fridge, and opened the door. She looked at everything they had to drink and grabbed a coke. "Isn't it a little too early to be drinking a soft drink?" Madison questioned from the booth, eyeing the red can.

Ashley opened the can and kicked the door closed. "No." She answered while facing the reporter. She took a short sip and watched Madison type something. "So…..how's the paper thing going?" She asked conversationally. "Have I been a good subject?"

Madison chewed on the inside of her cheek. "The paper is going okay and you've been a good subject. Believe me, I've dealt with worst." She motioned to the seat in front of her. "Please, have a seat. I have a few questions to ask you."

Ashley groaned but did what she was told. "Okay," she said taking a seat. "What would you like to know?"

Madison smiled, glad she didn't have to beg Ashley to cooperate, and looked back at her laptop. "Just some typical stuff. Where you were born, birthday, and hobbies."

Ashley sighed. She hated answering the typical questions. Mainly because they were the same questions she has had to answer, at least a million times before, over the span of her 17 years. "Okay, here we go. I was born in Los Angeles….."

-----------

Spencer said her goodbyes to Glen and started walking towards the restaurant. She was nervous while walking into the breakfast scented room. Seeing Aiden wasn't something she wanted to do, it was something she had to do. Unfortunately, remaining a hot couple, actually required them to occasionally hang out together. Reaching the small 'please wait' sign, Spencer smiled sweetly at the waitress in front of her and said, "I'm joining someone."

The waitress was momentarily star struck as she stared into Spencer's eyes. She had seen those eyes so many times before in magazines and the internet. She thought they were much lovelier in person. With a shake of her head, she got over it and allowed Spencer to go ahead and find Aiden.

Spencer said 'thank you' and looked around. The place was crowded, like any other breakfast place, but it didn't take long for her gaze to land on Aiden. He sat talking animatedly to the waitress standing beside him. Spencer raised an eyebrow at the scene and started walking towards them. She got a better look at the waitress' posture and bit back a smile. It was obvious the woman had the hots for him. Her stature screamed 'take me home and fuck me'. "Sorry to interrupt." She said pulling back the chair next to Aiden's.

Aiden quickly stood up. His face holding a guilty expression. "Hey." He said softly, kissing her cheek. "How've you been?" He asked moving behind her chair.

Spencer took a seat and smiled when Aiden pushed her chair in for her. "Thank you." She said watching him retake his seat. She looked up and was met by the waitress' disappointed/embarrassed gaze. "Hello..." She looked at her nametag. "Darcey. Um, are you taking drink orders?" She merely nodded. "I'll have a glass of orange juice, please." She wrote it down and met Aiden's gaze.

Spencer didn't miss the way her eyes slightly narrowed. "And for you, sir."

Aiden avoided her gaze and ignored the rude tone she used when saying 'sir'. "I'll have the same." She quickly nodded and stalked off.

"Did you get her number?" She teased, eyeing the waitress's retreating form. She was actually attractive; long blonde hair, blue eyes, great figure. She looked back at Aiden and noted the irritation etched over his face. "What's wrong?"

Aiden picked up his menu and started scanning through it. "Would it bother you if I get up and go get her number?" He asked with controlled anger.

Spencer internally sighed. She never did like his 'angry' tone. "No, it wouldn't. We're not together anymore."

Aiden put down the menu and looked at her. "So, you're just here to keep our 'image', right?" He asked, somewhat saddened by the thought.

"Well, I'm here because Glen said you wanted me here." Spencer looked away. "I'm sorry, Aiden. But yeah, one of the reasons I'm here is to keep our 'Image'." The only reason. "I know that sounds horrible but it's what's best for both of us."

Aiden nodded in agreement. "You're right. I'm sorry." Spencer looked up and met his gaze. "Listen. We might as well be on good terms while being this super hot couple." He smiled a little. "I'm done being mad at you. It's stupid. If I can't be you're boyfriend, can I at least go back to being you're best friend?"

Spencer smiled widely and threw her arms around him. "I'd like that very much." She said near his ear before pulling back.

Aiden also chuckled. "Good."

They continued staring into each other's eyes, with wide smiles, until the waitress made an appearance.

-----------

Seeing the waitress, Ashley snapped out of whatever spell had come over her. They looked so good together, she thought numbly while walking out of the restaurant. Madison had stopped the interview, after a couple of questions, due to Ashley's grumbling stomach. The plan was for Ashley to get a bite to eat, and then meet Madison back at her suite. But Ashley never expected to see Aiden and Spencer sitting so close, hugging, and then gazing into each other's eyes with stupid smiles plastered on their faces. Ashley shook her head, hating the fact that she was actually jealous. It was fake. Apart of some plan to convince the media that everything was good between them. That they were still the world's favorite couple. Ashley felt somewhat relieved, after reminding herself of the lie, but couldn't maintain the anger she felt as she stepped into the elevator. Spencer would never leave her for Aiden. Right?

Ashley stepped out of the elevator and found Madison's room. With a couple of quick knocks, she waited patiently for the reporter to open the door.

"That was fast." Madison stated surprised. "What did you eat?"

Ashley pushed passed Madison and entered the room. "Nothing. I lost my appetite." She looked around the room before meeting her gaze. "I need a cigarette." She stated flatly.

Madison rolled her eyes. "I don't smoke. I find it to be disgusting and suicidal."

"Well I don't." Ashley smirked. "I'm going to my room to smoke. If you want to finish this interview thing just join me." She fished in her pocket and pulled out her key card. Her scanned it."My room number is 342." She looked up. "Meet me there."

Madison agreed and watched Ashley leave the room.

-----------

"Oh, look Spencer, they've got omelets." He looked away from his menu and smiled at her. "Shrimp." Both faces scrunched up in disgust. "How gross does that sound." He set his menu aside. "I can't wait to go home and eat some real breakfast."

Spencer chuckled while nodding. "The greasy kind that cause heart attacks." She also set her menu aside and met Aiden's gaze. "So are you going to ask our waitress out?" She smiled amusingly as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "A blind person could tell you really like her." Thinking back, she remembered how tongue tied Aiden was after Darcey asked if he was ready to order. Of course Spencer helped him out by replying 'give us a couple of more minutes'.

He sighed and shook his head 'no', confusing Spencer. "I just can't ask girls out, Spencer. Hello, we're still 'together'. Not only would girls think I'm a pig but the rest of the world would think I'm an ass for cheating on you. It just takes one picture of me with another girl." He smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, I'm not as good as you are at keeping a secret lover."

Spencer looked away from him and played with the napkin holder. "I'm sorry about that."

Aiden waved it off. "It's all okay, Spencer. Maybe we're better off friends." He said, thinking of all the awful moments they shared as a couple. "When do I get to meet this new guy anyway?" He asked brightly. He was genuinely curious about who Spencer was dating now. "Have I heard of him?"

"Um," Spencer played with her hair, one of her nervous habits, and was glad the waitress chose that moment to reappear.

They both ordered ham and cheese omelets and Aiden let out a nervous breath as soon as she left. "What is wrong with you?" Spencer asked somewhat concerned. She had never seen him act this way before.

Aiden swallowed nervously before looking into her eyes. "Spencer, don't be mad but this is the same hotel I stayed at the last time we were here." Spencer raised an eyebrow and told him to continue. "I met her here and we went out for dinner that night. But nothing happened." He added quickly. "That's what we were talking about before you caught up with me. The night we met and had dinner."

Spencer didn't know how to feel. They were obviously a couple when he had dinner with another girl. But then she realized, it really didn't matter now. They weren't together anymore. "So you met her, had dinner, and then left?"

"Yeah." Aiden simply answered. "At one point she asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said 'yes' so nothing happened that night."

Spencer's eyes flickered over to the kitchen door. As if on cue, Darcey walked through holding a tray of food. "You don't have a girlfriend now." She said meeting his gaze, again. "I think you should go for her. Get her number or something." She shrugged.

"Spencer I already told you why I can't do that."

Spencer groaned a bit. "Then explain our situation to her, Aiden." She softened her tone a bit. "You can't stay single forever."

Aiden frowned. "Forever? Is that how long we're going to be in this 'relationship'?"

She thought a bit. "I'm not sure." She answered honestly. "It would make things easier though." She added unconsciously.

Aiden agreed and looked over at Darcey. She was standing by the table next to theirs, writing down another order. He looked back at Spencer. "You really don't mind if I get her number?"

Spencer smiled. "Go get her tiger."

Aiden smiled as he stood up. He blew out a breath before walking over to Darcey.

Spencer watched him, missing Ashley.

-----------

Ashley stood outside on the balcony, smoking a cigarette. She was tired and feeling very irritable. Her nose was one of her biggest problems at the moment. It was running non stop, like a running faucet. It was driving her crazy. She tried everything from blowing her nose to tilting her head back for a long period of time and nothing helped. "Damn." She murmured taking a long drag off her cigarette. "How long is this shit going to last." She groaned while grabbing her thousandth tissue. She held it tightly against her nose and kept it there for a couple of minutes.

Her mind started to drift and she found herself thinking about Spencer and Aiden. She knew they were over. But was it for good? And then there was Spencer. Ashley knew she wasn't gay. Duh, she had been with Aiden for so long. It made Ashley feel very insecure. And her insecurity was pissing her off. Driving her crazy. All the what ifs followed and Ashley couldn't stop them. What if Spencer was just experimenting? And what if she was her subject? Ashley quickly shook the thought off and chastised herself for thinking that way. Spencer wouldn't do that, she told herself. Bringing her hand up, she took another long drag off her cigarette before flicking it away.

Miserable, she walked back inside and flopped down on the couch. She looked around the room and her eyes landed on the pile of suitcases on the floor. She should be happy. Knowing she was going to spend another suite, and night, with Spencer should have done that for her. But it didn't. Closing her eyes, she let her head fall back and it wasn't long before she fell asleep.

-----------

Madison walked into the restaurant and smiled when her gaze landed on two familiar figures. They were both posing for the small cell phone a teenage girl was holding in front of them. Madison walked over just as the teenager was leaving. "Hello." She greeted Spencer and then looked over at Aiden.

He looked a lot better in person, she realized after sizing him up. "I'm Madison Duarte." She introduced herself, taking Aiden's larger hand in hers. "It's very nice to meet you." She added politely, enjoying the sight of his perfect smile.

They shook hands and Madison took the seat offered to her by Aiden. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything." She said looking at Spencer.

Spencer shook her head 'no'. "We're just waiting for our breakfast."

"Mind a third wheel?" Madison asked, wanting to spend time with the famous couple.

Both Aiden and Spencer said 'no' and they all started talking about various subjects ranging from Hollywood to school. Madison found herself enjoying Aiden and Spencer's company. Their playful banter, childhood stories, and obvious adoration for each other brought an unconscious smile to her face.

"Here you guys go." Darcey brought over two plates and placed them in front of Aiden and Spencer. She looked over at Madison and asked for her order. Madison replied, "Hot chocolate would be nice."

Darcey wrote down the order and smiled at Aiden before walking off.

Madison raised an eyebrow and looked over at Aiden. His bright blue eyes were glued to Darcey's ass. "Enjoying the scenery?"

Startled, Aiden looked up and blushed while grinning sheepishly. "Yeah, the art in here is great." He mumbled, feeling like a scolded child.

Madison snorted and looked over at Spencer. She seemed amused and not mad like Madison expected her to be. Definitely not the jealous type, she concluded while looking back at Aiden's timid form. "How long have you two been together?" She asked conversationally.

"A couple of years." Aiden answered with a shrug. "What about you Madison, are you seeing anyone?"

Madison shook her head 'no'. "I fly solo." She cleared her throat a bit. "I have a two year old daughter living with my mother though."

That surprised Spence. Madison couldn't have been older than 21. "Wow, are you still seeing the father?" She asked curiously.

Madison dug in her purse and retrieved a small wallet size photo. She handed it to Spencer. "No, but he sticks around and helps with Tiffany."

Spencer stared adoringly at the photo in her hands. Baby Tiffany was just precious. Piercing green eyes, long brunette hair, light tan skin, and very white teeth shined beautifully through the small picture. "She's beautiful." Spencer praised handing the picture back.

Madison sighed as she also looked at the picture. Being pregnant in her junior year of high school had been a bitch but definitely worth it in the end. Tiffany was the best thing that had ever happened to her. "Yeah, I miss her so much." She tucked the picture back into her purse and looked back at the perfect couple sitting across from her. "So, do you guys plan on having any children?"

Aiden shifted in his seat and cleared his throat a bit. He looked over at Spencer and noticed the uncertainty washing over her face. He met Madison's gaze. "Well I want kids." He answered for himself. "And maybe a dog, too." He added, smiling at the thought.

"Sounds all American." Madison commented with a smile. "How about you?" She asked Spencer.

Spencer shrugged, truly not knowing. Kids. If she and Ashley stayed together for a long period of time, would they ever have any? She knew she shouldn't be thinking about it now. She was still so young. Kids were something she didn't want to deal with right now, but after staring at Madison's daughter, she did want a couple of kids of her own. In fact, she found herself feeling slightly jealous of Madison. "Yeah, someday." She answered quietly. Hopefully with Ashley at my side.

-----------

Ashley opened her eyes, hearing the front door close; she smiled softly as Spencer emerged from the hallway. "Hey," she greeted while stretching her body out. The couch had been very comfortable but the position she fell asleep in was not good for her neck. She winced as it slightly cracked. "How was breakfast?" She asked neutrally, watching Spencer place her left over box on the coffee table. She hadn't forgotten about seeing her and Aiden together, looking happy and very much the couple they were supposed to be. Her feelings were ridiculous but Ashley couldn't help the anger and jealously that rose up within her. "Did you enjoy it?" She snarled a little, her hands beginning to tremble as she clenched her fist tightly.

Spencer noticed as her eyes landed on her shaking hand. Sympathy washed over her and she remembered trembling was a major thing with Ashley when she needed cocaine. Her heart went out to her lover."Ashley, you need to relax, baby. I know you're cocaine craving are bad but-"

Ashley's short rueful laugh stopped her. "You think this is because of my cocaine addiction?" She asked holding her hand up. "Spencer this is because I'm so pissed off." She hissed, getting off of the couch. Walking across the room, Ashley stopped at the mini bar and eyed the contents sitting on top of it. She wanted something so bad. She needed something so bad. She hated what she was feeling. The alcohol would stop everything. It wouldn't be as good as cocaine but it would still help. God, she needed help.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and quickly shook it off. "Don't." She snapped, grabbing one of the bottles. She heard a sigh behind her but ignored it as she twisted the cap of the bottle off.

"Ashley."

"What?" She faced her and stared into puzzled grey eyes. "What?" She asked again, her voice rising, demanding she hurry up and speak. Her nerves were bad. She was so angry. Unconsciously she was still think about Spencer's sexual orientation. What if she didn't even like being in bed with me? Ashley's jaw clenched as her insecurities continued to fill her mind.

Spencer stepped back, startled by her vehemence tone. "Ashley, I don't understand why you're so mad."

Through the fog of her anger, Ashley saw the confusion etch over her face so clearly that it made her feel foolish. She knew she was out of line but had no control over her emotions. Her want for cocaine, along with other things, made her feel tense, angry, and very sensitive. She turned back around and placed the bottle back on the bar. Silently, she headed towards the couch and collapsed. She felt like shit. Covering her eyes with her arm, she lied there silently just wanting to be left alone. Feeling nauseated and exhausted, she knew she wasn't going to be very good company. "Ashley, talk to me. What's wrong?"

The words were spoken softly, making Ashley feel a little better. But not much. It was nice to know that she wasn't completely fed up with her. "It's nothing, Spencer." She mumbled. "I'm just hung over."

Spencer stared at her. She didn't like Ashley's answer. It was far from the truth and she knew it. But she also knew Ashley didn't want to talk about. Her brief stoic answer was proof of that. "You sounded really angry." She reminded calmly, picking Ashley's feet up, and slipping under them to sit on the couch. She placed them back on her lap. "You have nice feet." She mused out loud, massaging her petit foot.

Ashley removed the arm over her eyes and placed both her hands on her stomach. Staring amusingly at Spencer. The foot comment was completely random and it amused Ashley. "Please don't tell me you have a feet fetish." She joked with a grin.

Spencer laughed and shook her head softly from side to side. "No, it's just nice to be dating someone whose feet isn't covered in hair." She scrunched up her nose up in disgust as a mental picture of Aiden's hairy feet came to mind. "They're very nice." She added staring into Ashley's eyes.

Ashley looked up at the ceiling and was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry for acting like a total bitch." She took a deep breath. "I just lost control."

Spencer kept staring at Ashley, not saying anything. She was hoping Ashley would say more. Elaborate, but after 10 minutes of just sitting in total silence, she knew Ashley was finished talking, and that was upsetting her. "Is that all you're going to say?" She asked flatly.

Ashley was still staring at the ceiling as she briefly nodded her head 'yes'. "That's all there is to say." She lied, sounding slightly irritated.

Spencer saw right through the lie and pushed Ashley's feet aside. She stood up quickly, angry. Without saying a word, she stalked over to the front door.

Ashley saw her and sat up. "Where are you going?" She asked, slightly alarmed.

Spencer opened the door and then met her gaze. "Ashley I don't have time to play these stupid kindergarten games with you." She explained, letting some of her aggravation seep into her tone. She was tired and not in the mood for Ashley's stubbornness. "When you're ready to be an adult and discuss your problems, I'll be in Glen's room, ready to talk." She slammed the door, leaving Ashley cursing on the couch.

-----------

The music was blaring loudly throughout the entire bus when Ashley stepped in. She was way too pissed off to just sit in the hotel room alone. Needing to get her mind of herself, she decided to pay Mike a little visit. Spencer's departure bothered the hell out of her and she needed to do something, anything, to get her mind off it. Closing the bus door, she walked further into the bus and waved at everyone she passed. She recognized everyone there but didn't see Mike. "Where's Mike?" She asked the keyboardist.

He took a long drag off of his cigarette and pointed to the back room. Ashley didn't say anything as she walked passed the people and drugs hanging around in the living area. She reached the back room and opened the door. Her facial expression stayed neutral when she spotted Mike and some blonde making out on his bed. He quickly broke the kiss at hearing the door open and greeted Ashley with a smile. "Hey, whaddddddup?" He asked obviously drunk.

Ashley walked into the room and pulled the door closed. She spotted a stool and walked over to it, taking a seat. "I'm just really bored." She answered, eyeing the blonde who was sitting cross legged on the bed, only wearing her bra and underwear. She looked young, 18 or 19, and had a great body.

Mike noticed Ashley's appreciative gaze and smiled broadly. "She's really good Ash." He slurred slightly. Ashley looked over at him. "We can share her…." He offered with a shrug.

Ashley shook her head 'no' knowing Spencer wouldn't appreciate her having a three way behind her back. "I'm good." She answered not missing the look of disappointed on his face.

Mike looked at the blonde. "You can leave now. We're done here. There's some money in my jeans."

Everyone was silent as the blonde collected her clothes and money. Ashley chuckled when she left and looked over at Mike. He was lying flat on his back, in bed, staring at Ashley. "Where the hell did you find a prostitute?" She asked, motioning for him to toss her a beer out of the 24 pack he had sitting next to the bed.

Mike laughed as he reached over the bed. "I met her in a Mexican restaurant." He tossed Ashley a Budweiser. "I told her I wanted to fuck her and she said "only for the right price." He shrugged. "Rest is history."

Ashley popped opened her can and grinned. "Well that sounds nice." She took a sip. "Was she worth the money?"

"Hells yeah!" Mike answered enthusiastically. "You would have loved her Ash."

Ashley shook her head 'no'. "I don't think I would have." She's not Spencer.

-----------

Spencer smiled at Glen. He had just opened the door, his facial expression kind and curious. "Hey there." She greeted, stepping through the door. "Hope you don't mind having a little company." She faced him and watched as he closed the door.

"I don't mind you being here." He said meeting her gaze. "I'm a little surprised though. You usually spend most of your free time with Ashley….or Aiden." He mentioned casually while striding back over to the couch. A football game was playing on the TV and Spencer couldn't have been happier. She loved the sport, just like her dad and grandfather.

"I guess I need some me time." She blew out while taking the seat next to Glen. "I've just been really stressed." She let her head fall back against the arm of the couch and sighed. "I don't think I've ever been this exhausted."

Glen smiled sympathetically at her. "Yeah, it is kind of tough, touring and all, but you get used to it after a while."

"I hope so." She mumbled thinking about her relationship with Ashley.

Glen looked back at the TV. They were watching a football game from the 80's on ESPN classic. "This isn't boring you, is it?"

Spencer shook her head 'no', smiling. "I love football."

"Wow, a girl that loves football. No wonder why Aiden is so wild about you."

Spencer stayed quiet as she smiled kind heartedly at the comment. She didn't know if she should set Glen straight on everything. He already knew about her and Ashley's involvement, but had no idea she had broken up with Aiden. "We're not together anymore." She said softly.

Glen's head snapped over to her and his eyes widened in surprise. "Really?" He asked in disbelief.

She met his gaze and shook her head 'yes'.

"Wow." Glen stated somewhat shakily. "How or why did it happen?" He asked carefully.

Spencer didn't understand his hesitation. It was like he didn't like the fact that Aiden and her were over. "Um, It happened because I wanted to see other people." She answered tensely.

Glen knew better. "You mean Ashley, right?" He asked knowingly. Spencer nodded her head 'yes' and didn't like the look of sympathy that washed over his face.

"Is there a problem with that?" She asked guardedly. "You don't look too happy."

"I am not mad." He shot back quickly. "It's just….I've known Ashley a lot longer than you have Spencer." He took a deep breath and blew it out quickly. "I just don't want you to get hurt. I care about you, ya know? You and Ashley."

Spencer relaxed a little but not much. "What makes you think she will hurt me?"

"Come on Spencer. You've seen enough of her personality, lifestyle, and choices to know she won't be….faithful for long." He answered quietly. "Not only that, but her attitude, emotions, they are just haywire. Plus, don't be surprised when you see her in a club, or hotel room, with someone who isn't you."

Spencer wasn't angry. He mad a lot of sense. It was just sad that that's what he saw in her. "Thank you for your concern Glen, but I have faith in her." She said confidently. "I honestly think she's done with all of the bad things in her life. I strongly believe the drugs and casual sex don't mean anything to her anymore."

"Really?" He asked finding it all too good to be true.

"Yes really." Spencer pushed. "People change, Glen. And Ashley can too."

Glen turned his attention back to the TV. "I hope you're right, Spencer."

Spencer also turned her attention to the TV.

I hope I'm right too.

-----------

Ashley walked back into the hotel, staring at her feet as she made her way across the lobby. She probably would have stayed and drank more beer with Mike if one of the band members hadn't brought in a tray of cocaine. Deep down inside, she knew her only reason for hanging out with Mike was to avoid Spencer and have free beer. She knew it would help calm her nerves and forget about her problems. It didn't help as much as she thought it would. But then again, maybe she just didn't drink enough because right now her mind was focused solely on Spencer, and their current situation. Ashley didn't understand why Spencer wouldn't just accept her answer. She hated talking about her feelings and such. Plus, the feeling of embarrassment was not worth it. But then again, it sucked knowing she was more worried about her pride than how Spencer felt. "God dammit." She murmured while pressing the elevator button. It seemed as though there was no right answer, but Ashley knew there was. And as much as she hated the thought of being humiliated, she was going to talk to Spencer.

-----------

Ashley stepped out of the elevator and sauntered through the hallway, searching for Glen's suite. She had a pretty good idea which one was his and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw him step out of his room, about to close the door, but pausing when he caught sight of her. She smiled at him and quickened her strides to catch up. "Hey Ashley." He greeted somewhat stiffly.

Ashley sensed that something was wrong but didn't mention it. "Hey, where are you going?" She asked curiously.

Glen forced a small chuckle. Things had gotten kind of awkward when Aiden showed up at his door, looking for Spencer. Glen didn't want to be anywhere near the two, not knowing where they stood with each other, so made up some excuse to get out of there. Now, Ashley stood in front of him and he assumed she was also looking for Spencer. Oh lord, he thought dreadfully. "Um, I'm starving." He looked at his hand which was holding the door open. "Are you going in?"

She shrugged as a look of uncertainty washed over her face. "Is Spencer ther-"

"Ashley is that you?" She heard being called from inside. It was Aiden's voice and her body stiffened at hearing him.

"Yeah." She said back, staring at Glen. It was more like a glare but she couldn't stop her eyes from expressing the aggravation she felt. And then she realized it wasn't Glen's fault Aiden was hanging around her girlfriend like a stupid shadow and softened her facial expression. "Have a nice meal." She mumbled before walking through the door.

The couch's back faced the door and Ashley could easily make out a blonde head resting against the arm of the couch. She smiled briefly but then frown when she saw who was standing in front of Spencer. Wearing a tight muscle shirt and gym shorts. "Hello Aiden." She greeted him politely, giving him a hug. "What's going on?" She asked looking at Spencer.

Spencer casually sat up and kept her tone light as she spoke. "Nothing really. Aiden and I were just discussing dinner plans."

One brown eye brow crept up. "Dinner plans?" Ashley repeated slowly. Her smile was forced but believeable. "How wonderful, I suggest a steak house. They are wonderful around here."

"Oh steak sounds good," Aiden mused. "Is there a phonebook around here?"

Ashley pointed to a computer desk sitting in the corner of the room. "Right there."

Aiden thanked her and rushed off to the other side of the room.

Ashley turned her attention to the blonde sitting on the couch. "Follow me into first room." She spoke quietly, somewhat demandingly, for Spencer's ears only.

Spencer didn't hesitate getting up and following Ashley into one of the rooms. Closing the door, she faced Ashley and wasn't surprised when the distance between them was quickly closed. After being gently pushed up against the door, Spencer stared into dark brown eyes as they stood head to head, toe to toe, their lips only a breath apart.

"Dammit Spencer," She breathed, her warm breath softly caressing her cheek. "You're bothering the hell out of me."

Spencer was about to open her mouth but froze when she felt Ashley's lips crash upon hers. Ashley felt her resist in her arms for a brief second but then Spencer gave up and molded her body against hers. Their lips and tongues clashed as their kiss intensified. Ashley roughly kept Spencer to her as she felt her hands bury themselves in her auburn hair. Unconsciously, their bodies stumbled away from the door as their kiss deepened, losing some of its urgency.

The feeling was incredible. Ashley had missed it. Feeling safe, wanting more, always wanting more of Spencer, and the trust; Ashley felt a need to just give herself over to her and never leave. Her heart was racing as she fell on the bed, flat on her back, with Spencer quickly finding her way on top of her. They continued to kiss as Ashley ran her hand over her, cheek, down her neck, and over the swell of her breast, pausing when she heard her light gasp.

"Wait, Ashley." Spencer breathed, tearing her mouth away from a somewhat confused Ashley. "We have to talk."

Ashley slipped her hands under the hem of her shirt. "So talk." She challenged, enjoying the feel of her soft warm skin under her hands.

Spencer said absolutely nothing before attacking Ashley's lips with renewed passion. Ashley moved her hands down Spencer's body and slipped her hands underneath the waistband of her jeans, bringing their bodies closer together. The sensation emitted a deep moan from Ashley's throat. "Oh…god." She groaned, moving her head away from Spencer's lips. It wasn't long before she felt them trail down her neck. "Spencer, I need you so bad." She gasped desperately, feeling Spencer's thigh against her center.

Spencer stilled on top of her as reality came crashing down on her. "We can't." She said abruptly, shifting to get off Ashley.

Ashley quickly grasped her shoulders, trying to keep her from leaving, and groaned when she broke away from her and moved off the bed. "Why not?" She hissed. "I know you want to." She added hotly.

Spencer stood fixing her clothes in front of the bed. "One, Aiden is just in the other room," She met her gaze. "And two, we still need to talk about earlier."

"I don't give a fuck if Aiden is in the other room." Ashley sat up. "Tell him to leave."

Spencer snorted. "Oh right, I'll just tell him to leave so we can have sex."

Ashley's face stayed serious. "Perfect."

She sighed tiredly. "You know I can't do that Ashley."

The rock star's face softened sadly as she fell back on the bed. "I know." She murmured, understanding Spencer's hesitation. Neither teen was ready for the risk of someone finding out about their relationship. It was okay for Glen to know because he would never tell a soul, but telling someone like Aiden could be trouble. He may tell the media, and then Spencer's parent would find out, along with the rest of the world, and Ashley didn't want her to go through so much bull shit over her.

It wasn't long before Ashley felt the bed shift. She looked over and smiled at Spencer. She was lying on her side facing her, her cheek resting casually on the palm of her hand. "I wish things were simpler, ya know?" She mused wistfully.

Ashley nodded but didn't say anything.

Spencer sat up and crossed her legs as Aiden walked into the room. "Good news," He started looking at Spencer. "I called this amazingly expensive steak house and made reservations." He smiled widely walking over to the bed. "We're going to have an amazing dinner."

Spencer scrambled off the bed and jumped into his arms, smiling. "That's great." She pulled back and looked over at Ashley. The smile slid off her face. The rock star's eyes were dark, narrow, and cold. The expression on her face was just as cold, but Spencer only caught a glimpse of it, and finally realized what Ashley's problem was. She was jealous of Aiden.

"Ashley." She pulled completely away from Aiden and faced the teen that was now sitting up on the bed.

Ashley shook her head and got off the bed. "I have to go." She said briefly, walking out the door.

Spencer looked apologetically up at Aiden before chasing after Ashley.

Ashley heard Spencer call her name but ignored it. She was too upset to care. Her hand reached out to take the doorknob but was stopped by Spencer's hand wrapping around her wrist. She tore it out of her grasp and glared into concerned grey eyes. "Do you need something?" She asked flatly. "I have things to do." She added somewhat impatiently.

Spencer internally groaned. She knew, and hated, the Ashley she was dealing with now. Her mind drifted back in time and she remembered the dinner they had with Kyla and Brenda. She also remembered the major bitch Ashley was that night and realized Ashley was in that mode now. "Come with us." She offered somewhat desperately. "Come with us to the steak house. It'll be fun, Ash."

Ashley shook her head, declining. "I can't." She forced a smile and leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on her lips. "Have fun." She murmured quietly, turning back towards the door.

"We're not leaving until after the show." Spencer added watching Ashley grab the doorknob. "Let's do something, until the show. We can maybe find a mall, movie theatre, Oh or maybe-"

"I really do have things to do Spencer." Ashley said regretfully, letting go of the doorknob and facing her. "But Texas is a beautiful state. You and Aiden should go do some sightseeing."

Spencer's didn't even try to hide her disappointment. "Okay."

There was nothing left to say so Ashley grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. Before she could step out, Spencer called her name a final time. Ashley looked over her shoulder and met her gaze. "Promise me, no drugs."

The request took Ashley somewhat by surprised but she quickly got over it. "I promise."

They exchanged quiet I love yous and then went their separate ways.

-----------

After leaving Glen's room, Ashley spent the next 20 minutes looking for Madison. When she reached her room, she found a note on the door from Madison. It said to find her when she got it. Now, Ashley was aggravated to the point where she couldn't even think straight. "Ah fuck it." She walked through the lobby and walked out of the hotel. She was tired of looking and decided she needed some fun. Since drugs were off limits, she decided to just spend her time with Mike, drinking.

Reaching the tour bus, Ashley was surprised to see Madison walk off the bus. "Hello." She greeted the reporter, "I've been looking all over for you." She explained angry. She looked at the bus. "What were you doing in there anyway?"

Madison groaned. "Looking for you."

Ashley met her gaze again. "Looking for me?" She smiled. "Who told you I'd be in there?" She wondered curiously. She knew Madison had no idea where she spent her time. "I know I didn't."

"Almost everyone I came across told me that's where you'd be." She rolled her eyes. "It took me forever to find that fucking bus." She thought a bit. "Why aren't those men in a hotel room?"

"Did you see all the drugs they had in there?" Madison nodded her head yes. "That's why."

"Oh." Madison stared questionably into Ashley's eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Ashley saw Madison's interest peak and snarled. She walked slowly up to Madison and didn't stop until their faces were inches away from each other. Her anger came off her in waves. "I planned on going in there to hangout and maybe even drink a little, or a lot, I haven't decided yet." Her eyes continued to bore violently into Madison's. "I promise you'll regret spying on me and pulling out a digital camera-"

"Ashley you don't have to worry about me taking a picture of you in there." Madison cut in quickly. Ashley didn't look convinced. "Sure, normally I would do that. Taking a picture of you in there, with all of those drugs, drinking, that would make me thousands of dollars, may even get me a promotion, but I can't."

"Why?" She pushed.

"Because I actually care somewhat about you." Ashley raised an eyebrow, making Madison smile a little. "I didn't at first but I don't know….you've grown on me."

Ashley saw and heard nothing but sincerity. She took a few steps back, giving her a little breathing space, and sighed her relief. She was glad she didn't have to worry about Madison screwing her over. "Thank you." She said. Madison nodded her head and Ashley took that as her cue to leave. Silently, she walked passed Madison and entered the tour bus.

-----------

Everyone in the limo was tense as they waited for Rachael. Spencer let her head fall back against the window and sighed. She had fun sight seeing with Aiden but was still worried about Ashley. She called the rock star a couple of times and had gotten no answer. Now, sitting in the limo with Pops and the rest of the band, she was beyond feeling worried. Nobody had seen Ashley or Mike. They were last seen leaving the tour bus and headed towards a liquor store. Spencer didn't want to believe Ashley was drinking but found it hard not to.

The limo door opened and Rachael stepped inside. "I'm sorry Mr. Davies but I couldn't find her anywhere."

Pops frowned and told the driver to start driving. "I'm sure she's at the show already, Pops." Glen said quietly. He hated when Pops was in a bad mood because his negative energy usually affected them too. "She wouldn't miss another show."

Pops snorted. "I'm not too sure about that." He looked back at Spencer. "I still don't see how you don't know where she's at." He mused. "I thought you two were fu-"

"Friends." Spencer cut in quickly, not wanting everyone, especially Aiden to know about her and Ashley. "Yes we are friends but she doesn't tell me everything." She answered hastily, glaring at Pops.

Pops was slightly confused but then he looked over at the person sitting next to her. It was Aiden, and he mentally slapped himself. He hadn't seen him there. "Right." He cleared his throat while staring somewhat apologetically at Spencer. "Well if she's not there then we're fucked." He said staring down at his cell phone. "But she doesn't care about that." He laughed humorlessly. "No, Ashley Davies doesn't care about anything," His eyes flickered up to Spencer's and they locked briefly as he spoke. "Or anyone but herself." He stared back down at his phone, leaving Spencer sitting deep in thought.

-----------

They finally made it to the concert hall after fighting tons of traffic. Spencer stepped out and entered the building with Aiden at her side. They followed Pops and the other members through a large hallway that took them to a door. Pops opened the door and everyone walked through, stepping into another hallway. There were rooms everywhere, dressing rooms and lounges. Food tables were set up everywhere.

"Have you seen Ashley?"

Spencer heard Pops ask. She turned her head and watched as the tall blonde man shook his head 'yes'. "She came in about 20 minutes with Mike." He stroked his chin as he spoke. "They went into her dressing room." He pointed down the hall. "5 doors down, on the left."

Spencer turned her attention to Aiden. He stood yawning next to her. "I'll be in the bathroom." She lied. "See you in a little bit, okay?"

Aiden smiled, fighting the urge to lean forward and kiss her. "Alright."

Spencer flashed him a small smile before heading down the hall. It was chaotic. Most of the rooms were open and there were make up and hair artists running around everywhere. Reaching the room, Spencer took a moment to brace herself before opening the door. The room was full of people. At least 20 of them. There was cigarette smoke everywhere and through the fog of it all, Spencer could see the drugs. Despite her better judgment, she stepped in looked around for Ashley. It didn't take long for her to find her. She sat on the couch, downing a shot. Mike was sitting next to her doing the same. "Ashley." She called out when she was in earshot.

Ashley put her drink down and looked around with unfocused eyes. She smiled widely when she found the owner of the voice. "Sp spencceeerrr," She slurred, standing sloppily off the couch. "I I missed yooouu baby."

Spencer's eyes widened slightly when the word 'baby' slipped out of her mouth. The people within earshot of them were staring curiously at them, making Spencer nervous. She watched as Ashley walked unsteady towards her. "You've had a little too much to drink, Ashley." She said loudly. "I'm not your baby."

Ashley looked confused but didn't say anything other than okay. Despite the lie, Ashley continued smiling and even threw her arms tightly around Spencer, hugging her to death. "I love you I love you I love you I love you…" She repeatedly whispered near her ear.

Spencer broke the embrace and looked around shakily. "Um me too." She said quickly, before grabbing Ashley's hand hard. "We have to go now, Ash. Pops wanted to see us." She spoke obnoxiously loud, not wanting any rumors to spread. She had no idea who the people in room were. Any of them could have been reporters and she didn't want to take a chance of them making something up about them leaving the room together, hand in had.

Ashley didn't say anything as Spencer practically dragged her out of the room, obviously upset. Their journey didn't last long. Spencer quickly found an empty room and moved them there. She closed and locked the door before facing Ashley. She stood swaying lightly as she looked around for something else to drink. "Ashley." She spoke curtly. Bloodshot brown eyes turned and met hers. "Please tell me you didn't do any drugs."

Ashley enthusiastically shook her head 'no' from side to side. "Abs asolutely no drugs." She confessed proudly, relieving Spencer slightly, but not much. Most of her disappointment expressed evidently over her face.

Ashley noticed this and closed the distance between them, nearly tripping as she did so. "What's wrong? You look mad." She cupped the side of her face and stared into her eyes. "Did I make you mad?" She asked with a lazy smile.

Spencer looked away from her hazy gaze and stepped away from her. "I'm not mad, Ash." She mumbled, moving back towards the door. "I'm just not happy with you right now." She explained with a sigh.

Ashley's face filled with panic before she dashed over and pulled Spencer into a frantic hug. Her head resting hard against her chest. "I'm sorry, Spencer. I'll do better, much much better. Please don't be mad." She pulled back and looked into her face. Her grey eyes were filled with sympathy. "I can be better Spencer. I promise I can be better."

Spencer cupped the back of her neck and beckoned her to her. She placed a light kiss on her forehead. "I know Ashley, and I'm not mad." She pulled back and met her gaze. Ashley smiled and bent down, intent on kissing her, but Spencer quickly moved her head away while lightly pushing her away.

Ashley looked hurt and opened her mouth to say something but Spencer quickly interrupted her. "We have to go. I'm sure Pops is wondering where we're at."

Ashley just nodded dumbly and followed Spencer out.

-----------

The show went well at first. Despite her intoxicated state, Ashley played all the songs right and didn't do anything too foolish. But then, out of nowhere, she gagged and quickly rushed behind a large speaker to puke, ruining one of the songs. Nobody panicked or obsessed over it though. After throwing up, she went back out on stage and continued playing. When the show finally ended, everyone relaxed back stage for a few minutes and then headed towards the meet and greet table. Only Ashley was absent from the meet and greet. She had other things to do.

Walking outside, Ashley smiled when she saw Mike and a crowd of men and women surrounding him. She forcefully broke through the crowd and grabbed a beer from the open ice chest by the tour bus door. Music from inside the bus was blaring loudly and everyone in earshot was either dancing or making out to it. Ashley stood next to Mike who had three girls around him. He motioned for one of them to go to Ashley, which she did easily. Ashley continued drinking but froze momentarily to eye the lovely brunette in front of her. She lowered her drink and greeted the equally drunk girl with a hug.

-----------

Spencer walked out, exhausted, with Aiden at her heels. She couldn't wait for dinner. Her stomach had been growling throughout all of the meet and greet. It obvious she was starving. Loud music filled the quiet night air and Spencer wasn't surprised to see Aiden's tour bus to be the cause. Mike was dancing provocatively with a groupie in front of the large bus, along with other people. But none of that bothered her. Her grey eyes landed on someone and she froze. Ashley's back was facing her and grey eyes narrowed on the hands that were roaming up and down her lover's back. She looked up at Aiden. "I'll be right back." He nodded as she strode off.

The closer she got to the rock star the more she could see. Ashley had some girl pinned up against the tour bus, making out, and practically having sex right there, out in the open. Spencer stopped right beside the two and kept her emotions at bay. She was angry, furious, but she also knew the state Ashley was in. Drunk out of her mind. "Ashley." She said sternly, getting both hers and the groupie's attention.

"Huh?" Ashley said dumbly.

"We have to go." She grabbed the rock star's hand and led them both away from the tour bus, ignoring the complaining brunette behind them. Ashley willingly followed Spencer, not really having much of a choice. The grip Spencer had on her wrist was far past a death grip, but Ashley was too drunk to care.

Spencer walked over to Aiden and apologetically cancelled their dinner plans. He was very understanding, assuming she was going to help Ashley stay out of trouble, and some groupie's bed.

They quietly strolled through the parking lot, only stopping when Ashley needed to puke. It was all very disgusting but it didn't bother Spencer so much. She had seen much worse at the hospital her mom worked at. "Are you okay?" She asked, soothingly rubbing the small of Ashley's back.

They had to stop for the 3rd time after Ashley starting gagging again, mostly dry heaves. "Fine." She slurred, allowing Spencer to lead her towards the tour bus. When they finally arrived, Spencer greeted Madison, Glen and Clay before taking Ashley to the back room. At this point she didn't care who saw her and Ashley in the room together.

-----------

Ashley fell face first in the bed, fully clothed, and immediately passed out. Spencer stood watching her sleep. She didn't want to think about what she saw near the tour bus. Ashley kissing that other girl. She closed her eyes and reminded herself Ashley was drunk. But was that really an excuse? She opened her eyes and walked towards the sleeping rock star. Carefully, she removed her shoes and rolled Ashley over on her stomach. Yeah, she was mad at Ashley, but that didn't stop her from removing her own clothes and getting into bed with her. She slept rolled on her side, on the far end of the bed, her back facing Ashley, leaving plenty of room between them. It wasn't long before she fell asleep.

-----------

Morning came and Ashley felt like crap. She was hung over and very alone in bed. Her thoughts strayed back to the night before and she remembered most of everything. The pictures in her head were somewhat hazy but they were still there. Reminding her of all of the bad things she did the night before. The worst part was remembering the make out session she had with some other girl. She groaned as the memory replayed in her mind. The worst part was knowing Spencer had witnessed it too. "Today is going to suck." She sat up and got off the bed, not bothering to change her clothes; she opened the door and stepped into the other room.

Everyone was doing their own thing. They were still on the road, heading towards Florida. Ashley wasn't surprised when nobody, including Spencer, looked up to acknowledge her. Not that she blamed any of them, she assumed it was because she messed up one of the songs from their last show, oh, and missed the meet and greet. With an internal shrug, she walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a Sunny D. She closed the refrigerator door with her foot and leaned heavily against it, drinking her Sunny D. She watched Madison type on her laptop for awhile and then moved her head. Her eyes locked with Spencer's. Her tired grey eyes expressed nothing less of hate and disappointment. Ashley turned away and walked back into the room. She didn't want to feel anymore guilt or shame. She just wanted to sleep.

-----------

The rest of the day flew by the same way. Ashley and Spencer said nothing to each other and both did their best to avoid each other. It was hell for Ashley. The tense silences, awkward glances, it was almost too much for the rock star. She couldn't wait to get out of the small space that was their tour bus. Being so close to Spencer while things were tense between them was awful. Things finally looked up when they checked into a hotel. She and Spencer didn't get separate rooms. The hotel couldn't spare anymore rooms due to the holidays. But Ashley didn't plan on staying the night there with Spencer. Sure, she missed her terribly and hated herself for what she did. But then again, it didn't surprise her. Nothing good in her life ever lasted.

Walking towards her room, Ashley stopped and turned around when she heard her name being called out. She smiled tiredly at Rachael. "What's up?" She asked with a yawn.

"Pops wants to see you." She informed grimly.

Ashley sighed and walked with Rachael to Pops suite. The last person she wanted to deal with at the moment was Pops but she was too tired to be defiant. After knocking on the door, it wasn't long before Pops opened the door and beckoned her in. "So what did I do wrong this time?" She asked calmly while taking a seat on the couch. "Am I seen in some magazine puking behind a speaker?" She joked with a grin.

Pops shook his head slowly, standing with his hands on his hips. Not looking very happy. "Ashley, what is the purpose for Madison being here?" He asked coolly.

Ashley shrugged. "To make my life more complicated."

Pops didn't smile. "No, she's here to make you look better. Clear that bad image you've recently made for yourself." He sighed deeply. "But I don't think its working. What about you?" She didn't say anything, or move. Just sat there quietly staring at the floor. She looked like a scolded child in Pops' eyes. "So far she has seen you with beer, cigarettes, and everyone saw you with that whore last night." His frown deepened. "What the fuck is wrong with you Ashley? Are you fucking blind? You're doing all of this shit in front of a fucking camera and that doesn't bother you one bit, right? Why don't you just admit you don't care about this band, or the people in it."

Ashley looked up. "I do care."

"Well you're doing a damn good job showing it." He snapped. Rubbing the sides of his temples, he walked past Ashley and stopped at the entrance of the kitchen. "I don't give a fuck anymore Ashley. You're dead to me. Do whatever the fuck you want."

Ashley heard as he walked into the kitchen and stood up. Without any hesitation, she walked out the door and slammed it on her way out. There was only one destination in her mind as she walked through the lobby and out the door. The day had sucked and her body was overflowing with emotion. Guilt, shame, regret, the shit between her and Spencer; It was all just too much for Ashley to take. She needed something to take some of the edge off. And she knew where to find it.

It wasn't long before Ashley found Mike's bus. A lot of the lights were on, indicating a small party. She wasted no time opening the door and walking onto the bus. She greeted everyone before walking into Mike's room. He sat on the bed snorting cocaine with a couple of friends. Ashley didn't acknowledge them as she took a seat on the bed and took the silver plate. The cocaine was screaming her name and she needed it so bad. Every pore in her body was yearning for it, and she was going to sate her cocaine cravings. Taking the rolled up 100 dollar bill, Ashley brought it up to her nose and snorted 3 lines. The feeling was incredible. Feeling the slight burn up her nostrils and down her throat as the cocaine entered her system, it was something she had missed immensely. Yeah, she felt guilty, shameful, and she was going to regret it. But as time passed she didn't feel any of it. She passed the tray back to mike and lied back on the bed.

A small smile formed over her lips and everything was perfect again.

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Spencer stared at the alarm clock sitting on the night stand. She had found a small stash of cocaine in a pair of Ashley's jeans. She wasn't snooping or anything. The jeans were sticking out of her suitcase and when Spencer tried to fix it the small clear bag just dropped. Spencer threw it away in the small wastebasket by the bed. Ashley didn't need any temptation.

The room was dark and warm, just how she liked it. She should have felt comfortable, sated, and relaxed but she didn't. Lying in the expensive bed did nothing for her. She still felt tense angry and sad. Ashley was on her mind. She hated that Ashley was all she could think of. She even dreamt of the rock star! It seemed as though Spencer couldn't get away from her. Even when they were physically apart, it was like they were still so close. Spencer didn't understand it. It was like Ashley was her drug. She constantly craved her company. Just being around Ashley, when things were good, made her feel so happy and content. There was a downside to that though. When things were a mess, it made things so much more painful for Spencer. In fact, at this very moment, her eyes are closed but there are still tears seeping out. Spencer was crying for herself.

And for Ashley.

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She was on top of the world stepping off the bus. She felt like a fucking king. Everyone, everything, was just shit to her. Everything was below her. She had no problems, there was no Spencer, there was nothing. Pops? She had no idea who that was. Her head was held high as she walked. She looked everyone in the eye and loved it when they couldn't meet her gaze. Watching their eyes lower to the street made her feel amazing, invincible, she was superman. The title made her grin. There was so much energy pulsing through her, it was amazing. She felt like she could do anything. Anyone. Her grin lifted into an all out smile. She didn't want just anyone. She was way too good for just anyone. No, she wanted someone special, someone she cared about, someone who hated her.

Ashley strode confidently into the elevator. Her mind was full of anticipation but her demeanor was cool and confident. The cocaine had woken her deepest, darkest, desires and she was going to stop at nothing to sate them. The elevator stopped, the doors opened, and Ashley stepped off with dirty intentions. She would have Spencer tonight, God how she needed the blonde. At that moment, she didn't know or care about where they stood in their relationship. The only thing that mattered was her yearn for the blonde's body.

The room was dark when she stepped silently inside. The large window was open, revealing the gorgeous stars and moon. Ashley took a moment to admire the night sky. It was perfect for what she was about to do with Spencer. The name floated through her mind and she turned her head. She had to see her, admire her, and be with her.

Spencer slept soundly on her side. The cover that once covered her bare body was now sprawled out on the floor, giving Ashley a full view of her body. Shadows covered a lot of her perfect form but Ashley could still make out everything. And she loved what she saw. Who she saw.

Ever so slowly she removed her own clothing. Her demeanor was still cool and confident, her eyes shining with admiration and want as she stared at Spencer's body. She was hungry for it and she was going to devour it.

The bed made no sound as she placed each of her knees atop of the mattress. Quietly, she sat watching Spencer's sleeping face closely. She seemed peaceful, at ease, and there was even a small smile plastered on her lips. Apart of Ashley didn't want to disturb her. She moved forward and crawled over to her. An even bigger part just didn't give a fuck.

Ashley placed one of her hands on the other side of Spencer, her arm leaning against her abdomen. She lowered her head and placed feather like kisses along her upper arm, stopping at her shoulder. Her mouth hovered over her ear. "Spencer," She whispered, "I need you so bad Baby." She nipped lightly on her tender lobe and smiled when she felt Spencer stir. "Come on, baby. I know you want me." Her hand roamed up over her soft skin, stopping to stroke the skin on the curve of her hip. "That's it." She urged Spencer on her back and dipped her head, kissing the hollow of her throat. Ashley placed kisses down her body until her mouth was met with a hardening nipple. She wasted no time taking the pink bud into her mouth, loving the little gasp that echoed loudly through the room. Her hand moved up along her abdomen and stopped at her breast. A small hum of approval left her throat as she felt the hardness of the other bud against the palm of her hand.

She wanted to feel all of Spencer against her. Her warm skin was so intoxicating. Ashley was a junkie for it. She settled her body atop of hers and placed a soft kiss on the skin where her neck met shoulder. Brown eyes closed as Ashley dipped her head, hovering over an erect bud.

Grey eyes tightened as Spencer felt a familiar body covering her own. The blonde moaned as she felt a thigh being pressed up against her aching center and her nipples being thoroughly teased. She didn't want to open her eyes, thinking it was all just a dream. She had never experienced a dream that felt so real and she didn't want it to end. "Ashley," She murmured when she felt a gentle breath caress her aching nipple.

"I'm here, Spencer."

Grey eyes opened wide and a look of panic spread over Spencer's face when she realized it wasn't a dream.

Ashley felt Spencer's body tense and looked up. She met her grey eyes and saw the fear and confusion. Ashley grinned and moved up, resting her elbows and either side of Spencer's face, she stared down at the blonde. The shadow over her face hid the cocky expression she wore.

Spencer finally found her voice. "Ashley we can't-"

"Why not?" Ashley whispered gently, "There's no Aiden." She kissed her forehead, "No Madison," She lowered one of her hands and began caressing the side of her face. "There's only you and me, Spencer." Her hand drifted down Spencer's face. She enjoyed hearing the change in Spencer's breathing. It was quickening, a definite sign of arousal. "I know you want me Spencer. Why fight it?" She asked softly, her hand caressing the sensitive skin on her neck, making Spencer tingle all over.

"Ashley we have to work things out first." Spencer breathed as she leaned into Ashley's touch. "Things are a mess between us."

Ashley smiled widely. "No, things are perfect." Spencer opened her mouth to protest but Ashley silenced her. "Shh…" She leaned forward and kissed her with heated passion. Her tongue probing her way into her mouth, Spencer resisted for a brief second, but then finally gave into the rock star. Just as Ashley predicted. Spencer wouldn't turn her down.

Ashley moaned as she felt Spencer begin to play with her tongue ring. She raised her body up and placed one of Spencer's hands on her breast. A slight whimper escaped her lips when she felt Spencer's hand tease her sensitive breast. The rock star broke the kiss and rested her head heavily against Spencer's shoulder, enjoying the blonde's gentle hands as they messaged her erect nipples.

"God, Spencer." She breathed, raising her head, she leaned forward and took her mouth again. Both teens groaned as the kiss deepened and Ashley was surprised when Spencer urged her on her back, rolling on top of her. She felt the blonde's thigh settle between her legs and sighed into Spencer's mouth. Wrapping her arms around Spencer's neck, Ashley pulled her close to her, loving their full body contact.

Spencer broke the kiss and left Ashley's mouth. Placing a kiss on her chin, Spencer trailed her lips along her neck and nipped playfully at the hollow of her throat. Ashley's hands busied themselves; her left running through soft blonde hair while her right ran up and down the expanse of her back. Ashley swallowed hard as she felt Spencer continue down her body. She cried out softly when a very warm mouth enveloped her bare breast. Her back arched as Spencer flicked and then tugged teasingly at her nipple. Ashley groaned her disapproval when Spencer left her aching bud, but then she felt that wonderful mouth on her other breast and everything was okay again.

Her body came to life and Ashley found it impossible to lie still while Spencer's tongue batted her nipple with her tongue. She pressed her hips into the thigh that was still pressed against her and groaned when Spencer moved it away.

Spencer continued her oral assault on the bud in her mouth while trailing her hand down Ashley's body. The muscles in Ashley's abdomen tightened and trembled as she slid her hand over them. Ashley's legs parted unconsciously as Spencer's hand neared its destination. "Oh Spencer, please touch me." Ashley panted, begging. Her whole body waited in anticipation for Spencer to do something, anything. "Oh God," She cried out when she felt Spencer's finger run along slick folds, stroking her hardened clit.

Spencer was surprised when she felt how ready Ashley was. The feeling was incredible knowing she had played a role in that. Something inside of her screamed, and she needed to see Ashley. Leaving her breast, Spencer got on her knees and looked down at the rock star who was panting feverishly. Spencer marveled at how gorgeous she looked, lips parted, face flustered, the moonlight hitting her in all the right places. It was like Spencer was falling in love with her all over again. Ashley noticed the love in her eyes and sat up. "I can't live without you." She breathed, cupping her cheek, Ashley captured her lips. The kiss was gentle, soft, caring, conveying everything both girls were feeling at the moment. Love. The feeling was so intense that it brought tears to Spencer's eyes.

Ashley pulled back when she felt the moisture on her face. Her brow furrowed when she realized there were tears running down Spencer's face. "Don't cry, love." She kissed the tears running down her face before claiming her lips again. One of her hands moved up to cup her breast and she loved the feeling of them against her hand. Their softness, their fullness, they were absolutely perfect to Ashley.

Ever so gently, Ashley urged Spencer on her back. The urge to taste the blonde was just too much for the rock star. She moved up her body and kissed her long and hard before tearing her mouth away and trailing her lips down her chin, along her neck, over her abdomen until she reached her center. Spencer parted her legs and let her head fall back, a long exhale of breath exiting her lungs as Ashley's breath fell upon her wetness.

Ashley dipped her tongue into Spencer, running it through her sex; she knew it was driving Spencer crazy by the way she moaned and held the back of her head. Her breathing was ragged and her eyes tightly closed.

Ashley was in heaven, she loved the feel and taste of Spencer in her mouth, it was incredible. Wrapping her arms around Spencer's quivering hips, she stroked her harder and faster before entering her with her tongue, making Spencer cry out. Ashley replaced her tongue with two fingers and began moving them in and out of her. Her mouth moved up to her clit and she wasted no time taking the little bud into her mouth, sucking and rubbing her tongue ring over it.

Spencer was on sensory overload from all of the things being done to her. Ashley knew she was close and increased her actions until finally, Spencer cried out and tightened her hold on Ashley's hair as wave upon wave of pleasure washed over her. Limp, Spencer fell back on the bed and fought hard to calm her body down. Ashley moved up her body, placing kisses and small licks along her abdomen, neck, and finally chin. She placed a tender kiss on her temple before cradling the blonde, whispering soft words while caressing her face.

Spencer looked into Ashley's face. Her eyes were fogged over with desire that Spencer wanted to sate. She was so in love with the rock star and expressed it when she cupped the back of Ashley's neck and kissed aggressively, pushing her onto her back. Ashley welcomed Spencer's sudden actions and whimpered when she felt a warm hand on her breast, kneading her aching bud. Her hand roamed through Spencer's blonde hair as she felt the blonde's mouth exploring her neck and upper chest. "Fuck Spencer," She gasped, her nipple being tugged between two fingers. "That feels so good, baby."

Spencer trailed her tongue along her upper chest, tracing her collar bones. She loved the taste of Ashley's skin and just couldn't get enough of it. God, it was so much different with Aiden than it was Ashley. A lot of his skin was hairy, and his guy sweat was more nauseous than anything, it came off him in waves.

This feeling was so new to her. She just wanted to taste every inch of Ashley's skin. She moved up Ashley's body and kissed her again. There was so much she just wanted to say but didn't know what words to use. She decided to let her body do the talking for her.

She moved her hand down between their bodies and stroked the inside of Ashley's thigh while deepening the kiss. She felt the rock star shiver when she moved down and sucked on her pulse point. "Spencer, please touch me. Oh god, please just do it." Ashley begged between clenched teeth and heavy breathing.

Spencer moved her hand further up her thigh and kissed the side of Ashley's neck. "I love you Ashley." She whispered near her ear while pushing past drenched swollen lips. Spencer was surprised by the sudden throb in her clit as her fingers pushed further into Ashley. Spencer raised her head, "God you feel so good, Ashley. So wet." She murmured against her parted lips.

Ashley couldn't speak as she continued to move her hips against Spencer's touch. She cupped the back of her head and brought their lips together, both moaning as Spencer moved a little faster inside her. Ashley's eyes closed as she began breathing hard against Spencer's mouth. They both began breathing hard against each other as Ashley neared her release. Gasping, Ashley cried out and trapped Spencer's hand between her thighs.

Spencer watched Ashley in wonder as she climaxed. Her eyes were shut, lips parted, and her muscles were straining against her skin. Spencer placed kisses all over her face, whisking away the strays of auburn hair that had fallen over her eyes. "You are so beautiful Ashley." She murmured against her forehead. Ashley opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around Spencer, pulling her to her, cradling her blonde head on her shoulder. Spencer's arm wrapped around her abdomen and her thigh rested between Ashley's. She closed her eyes and fell asleep seconds later.

Ashley stared up at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep. There was something on her mind and it wouldn't go away. Something she needed so bad at the moment….

She was going to have it.

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Spencer's eyes opened wide when she heard something fall and then shatter on the floor. She slowly sat up and looked around. Her vision was still a bit blurry so she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She heard movement throughout the room. It frantic, someone's breathing was hard. Spencer leaned over and turned on the nightstand lamp. Her eyes widened as she looked around the room. There were clothes scattered everywhere around the room. All the paintings on the wall had fallen, a pile of shattered glass pooling around them.

"Ashley?" Spencer called out, crawling to the edge of the bed. Grey eyes fell on the figure sitting on her knees, looking frantically through a suitcase. It was one of Spencer's suitcases. "Ashley?" She tried again, getting off the bed. "What are you doing?" She asked putting her hands on her shoulders.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Ashley snapped shaking the hands off her body. Spencer pulled her hands back as her heart leapt in her throat. Ashley's face was tear stain, her brown eyes puffy from crying, and her nose bleeding. She was wearing clothes, jeans and a band tee, she looked like Ashley but Spencer had no idea who the person in front of her was. Her eyes were wild, dangerous.

Grey eyes watched as Ashley turned her attention back on the suitcase. Her hands were viciously searching the pockets of the jeans she came across. Without thinking, Spencer reached over and ran her hand down Ashley's arm. She didn't even see it happen but she felt the sharp sting painfully scar her face as Ashley slapped her, hard. Shock filled her eyes as she stared at Ashley, wide eye horror evident on her face.

Ashley stared back into her eyes and saw the look of horror, shock, and confusion written over her face. And then there was the blood that spilled from her lip. "Oh God, Spencer." She gasped crawling over to her. "I'm sorry." She murmured pulling her frozen form into a strong embrace. "I'm so so sorry, Spencer." She whispered near her ear.

Spencer stared at the wall, her face full of confusion. She felt Ashley's kisses, her warm hands on her back, the wet tears on her face. Pulling away she met her gaze. "I just needed money." Ashley explained, her voice desperate. "I can't find any anywhere and I need it so bad Spencer…." Her head fell forward, resting on Spencer's shoulder. "So fucking bad." She whispered. "I need it so bad." She pulled back and cupped the side of Spencer's face. It was emotionless, just blank, but Ashley didn't notice. "Do you have money? I just need to get a little, Spencer." She kissed the corner of lips and pulled back. "Just a little."

Spencer heard and saw the desperation in her voice. Silently she stood up and walked away. She stopped at the small wastebasket in the room. Looking over her shoulder, she watched as Ashley continued looking through the suitcase. Her eyes moved back to the trash. She felt nothing as she crouched down and picked up the clear plastic bag of cocaine. Time stilled for her as she walked back across the room. She stopped near Ashley and dropped the bag on the floor. She didn't want to see anything passed that. Instead, she turned back around and grabbed her robe off the floor. She slipped it on and walked out of the door, leaving Ashley with the one thing she loved the most, cocaine.

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The walk to the limo was anything but pleasant for the rock star. Her eyes were hurting from the sun's bright rays, forcing her to shield them with sunglasses. The glasses did nothing to ease her monstrous head ache and nausea, but she figured she'd survive. Besides, the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional. Shame and guilt weighed heavily down on the 17 year old's shoulders. She felt like a failure. Her self control was completely gone; unable to resist drug temptations, she knew it was only a matter of time before Spencer left her. Spencer couldn't love an addict, Ashley wondered why she stuck around for as long as she did. Especially after seeing her true colors.

A hand on her arm brought Ashley out of her musing. She turned her head and met Glen's worried expression. "Do you want to talk about it? Whatever is going on between you and Spencer." He couldn't keep the concern out of his voice as he spoke, explaining last night's events to the quiet teen. A knock at the door had woken him up. He rolled out of bed and answered the door. Spencer stood there, surprising him. She was only wearing a robe, scandals and carrying her cell phone. She looked sad but didn't say anything more than 'can I stay here tonight?' Glen easily agreed and slept on the couch while Spencer took his bed. He knew her problem revolved around Ashley. Why else would she turn to him and not Ashley for a place to stay? "And don't you lie and tell me nothing happened. I'm not stupid, Ash."

Ashley turned her head away from the blonde and stared ahead. What the hell am I doing? Panic gripped tightly onto her chest and for a moment she couldn't breathe. Why am I doing all of this stupid shit? All I'm doing is pushing Spencer away. And I don't want that….right? The massive mess she had made in the hotel room came to mind. Emptying the suitcases for cocaine money… why did I do that? Why can't I just be better…normal? "I really don't know what happened…" She murmured, unaware of the tears sliding down her face.

Glen noticed them and placed a firm hand on her slender shoulder. Ashley stopped and looked over at him; tensing when he reached out and removed her sunglasses. The tears came a little faster and harder, but she didn't care. "Ash, talk to me." He pleaded softly, his blue eyes staring into youthful brown. It hit him just then how young Ashley was. Most kids her age were stressing over SAT's and colleges. It wasn't fair that Ashley had a cocaine addiction to deal with. But then again, hardly anything in Ashley's life was fair. "I know something's wrong."

Ashley broke their gaze and looked around them. They were searching for their limo and stood on a semi crowded sidewalk. There were people walking past them but nobody stopped to stare, relieving Ashley. She didn't want strangers stopping to ask 'are you okay?' while she was crying. "It's…me." She looked at him, ignoring everything else around them. "I just can't stop." Her voice was soft, regretful and full of disappointment. Her eyes were distant; her facial expression etched over with shame. "Last night, I got high and things got out of control. I trashed our room looking for money to buy coke, and then Spencer…" she paused a moment. Last night's events were fuzzy, she had to think to remember them. "She got too close, I told her to get away, she didn't and I-I hit her."

Glen noticed the fear clouding Ashley's eyes. He was shocked that Ashley would hit Spencer, but then again, cocaine made people violent. A part of him was angry, Ashley should have known better, but obviously didn't. It didn't help that she did drugs. It seemed as though the line between right and wrong in her mind was starting to wither away. He wondered if it was ever there. "What were you thinking? How could you do drugs with Spencer, you're girlfriend, in the same room?!" He demanded sternly. He was getting tired of Ashley's ridiculous behavior and his angry voice expressed that well. "I don't see how she puts up with you." He unconsciously added.

Ashley tensed and her face hardened. She saw so much anger and disappointment in his blue eyes, adding onto her own frustration. How could she explain the constant torture that plagued her everyday life? She hated how accusing he sounded. He made it sound like she wanted to do the drugs, wanted to trash their room, and wanted to hurt Spencer when she honest to god couldn't help it. The little self control she once had was gone and she hated herself for it more and more every day. Her body craved that drug, her every move depended on it, and she couldn't say no. "Fuck you." She spat coldly.

She stalked passed the blonde but was quickly grabbed by the wrist and turned around. A fire had ignited in his blue eyes but it was nothing compared to Ashley's inferno. "I'm not finished, Ashley." His voice was firm and somewhat demanding.

Ashley's eyes narrowed. "I am." She violently pulled her arm out of his grasp and turned back around. She didn't miss the blonde's murmured words as she started walking off. 'She won't put up with you forever.' Her steps were quicker, fueled by anger. She hated Glen for making her feel so bad. She snorted, for making her feel at all. A couple of lines of cocaine would make it better; she knew that but didn't dare get high. Her cravings weren't so bad now, which was rare. She was basking in it, happy, despite her anger, of it.

The distance between her and the limo was closed quickly. She didn't greet the driver, just stepped up and entered the stretch hummer. Brown eyes surveyed the large space, avoiding as many gazes as possible, especially Spencer's. Everyone was huddled in the back of the limo, Pops sitting on the seat in front of the wind shield. Ashley took a seat next to the door.

She heard a sigh and then a voice, "Ashley quit being ridiculous and get your ass back here."

Biting down hard on her bottom lip, she stood up and obeyed Pops. The rock star hesitantly moved further back into the limo and took a seat next to Rachael. Her eyes were cast down, but she still noticed everyone out of the corner of her gaze. They all sat in a 'U' shape. Spencer sat across from her, Clay sat next to her, and a body guard sat next him. Pops sat in front of the windshield, AJ sat on the next seat, Rachael sat next to him, and Ashley sat next to her.

She felt eyes on her and looked up, meeting Spencer's gaze. Concern filled her grey orbs, but there was something else in them. It was as if she were yearning to do something. Ashley looked back down. She knew what it was. Spencer simply wanted to get up and comfort her. Ashley smiled a little at the thought. Despite being a complete mess, Spencer still wanted to make her feel better. She looked back up and the blonde's gaze was on Pops. Brown eyes focused on her lips. There was nothing there, no mark, scratch or anything. Ashley looked back down, the smile dying from her lips. She didn't fail to notice the amount of make up applied to her face. The blonde had more on than usual.

The door opened and Glen stepped in. Ashley didn't look up as he took a seat next to Spencer. "Okay here's the plan," Pops started. "You're getting on a plane to Tampa." Ashley stiffened and picked her head up, turning her attention on him. "And you're going to be spending a couple of hours in the studio." Pops moved his gaze over to Spencer. "I own a house in Tampa and there's a studio in the basement. We're going to be there with 'Suffocate me Blind.'"

Ashley's eyes flickered over to Spencer and she didn't miss the frown that lined her lips. It matched the one sprawled over her own. She hated the house in Tampa. She wished someone would set it on fire, or better yet, she wished the house would be blown away by a category 5 hurricane.

"After that, you guys are going to the airport and catching a flight to Miami. You play at 7 and finish around 9. After that, do whatever the hell you want. We're not leaving until the morning."

"Where's Madison?" Ashley inquired puzzled, but then regretted it when she noticed the frustration on her father's face.

"I sent her home this morning." He answered curtly. "Making you look good was the only reason why I brought her here, but my plan was backfiring because my stupid kid couldn't keep her shit together."

Ashley looked away and didn't say anything. Pops words normally didn't faze her, but they did today. For the past couple of days, she had been watching someone else live her life. She didn't feel things directly; it felt as if reality was a dream. But today, she woke up and felt everything, especially the pain. Madison was sent home because she couldn't stop doing drugs and alcohol; she felt embarrassed. Last night, she did cocaine and hit Spencer; she felt shameful and regretful. Overall, she was disappointed and hated herself.

Ashley closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the seat. There was a light stinging in her eyes, indicating tears. Why am I always crying? She wondered while leaning forward, cradling her head in her hands.

Pops sat staring at the 17 year old. He found it odd that she didn't talk back, or even look at him spitefully. He took a closer look at his daughter. She looked miserable and was starting to look thin. Too thin. "Do you need to see a doctor?" The words surprised him but he was far too concerned to care. He didn't like how pale her face was or the dark circles under her eyes.

Ashley stared at him. "You're talking to me?" She asked quietly. It sounds like he cares, he can't be talking to me.

"Yeah I'm talking to you. You look sick, do you need to see a doctor or not." He tried to sound angry and frustrated, but he ended up sounding worried.

Ashley shook her head 'no' and sat back. "I'm fine." She lied, closing her eyes and returning to her previous position; sitting with her head in her hands.

Pops eyes flickered over to Spencer and he met her concerned gaze. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "If you won't see the doctor at least behave in the studio." He said firmly. "I already told those morons no drugs or heavy alcohol, but if they do bring some, stay away, alright?"

Ashley sat up. "Why are you telling me this shit?" She asked angrily. It bothered her that he was acting worried about her. So what if she was sick and continued to do drugs? It wasn't any of his business. "The reporter is gone, you don't have to act like you give a fuck about me."

"I don't need a dead kid on my hands." Pops spat back. He hated how she never made anything easy for him.

Ashley snorted. "Right, bad publicity for the band."

"Ashley." Spencer pleaded quietly. She wasn't in the mood to hear them argue. And from the look of Ashley's red eyes, neither was she. "Just drop it, okay?"

Ashley instantly deflated and felt more than stupid. "Sorry." She murmured sinking back into the black leather seat; wishing she could disappear. She hated everything she was feeling and just wanted to run away from herself. A pill, cocaine, hell she'd even take heroin right now to escape everything, everyone, and be left alone. Everything was so fucked up, she just wanted to escape.

Pops watched Ashley close her eyes and lean her head back against the seat. He wasn't acting and the concern that filled his eyes proved that. His thoughts strayed back to last night and the dream he had. He was at a party with the band. Everyone was having a good time, including himself. His eyes randomly landed on Ashley and he watched his daughter snort cocaine, a second later a bullet appeared out of nowhere and pierced her heart, leaving her bleeding on the dance floor. Everything around him blurred and faded into nothing. The room was empty, except for him and his dying daughter. He rushed over and collapsed onto the floor next to her. He didn't hesitate reaching out and cradling her small frame against his chest. Tears fell frantically down his face as he stared into her dying eyes. She looked at him sadly, 'I just wanted you to love me' was the last thing she said before her eyes closed and she died. He shot up from bed, sweating, and to his surprise, crying.

The amount of emotion that clouded his chest was almost too much for him.

Looking away, he found himself fighting back tears again.

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The airport was busy, loud and very hectic. Ashley dreaded walking through it. People usually recognized her and asked for pictures and autographs. She normally didn't mind doing it, but today was different. She felt sick and tired. The only thing she wanted to do was sleep, not entertain strangers.

Ashley watched everyone exit the limo and finally stood when everyone, except for Pops and Rachael, were outside. "Ashley." She heard Pops say as she stood. Brown eyes looked over at him and waited impatiently for him to speak.

"I wasn't acting earlier." He admitted uneasily. "I'm….worried about you. This shit with the cocaine, I've been there, hell I'm still there but it's not as bad as it used to be." He exhaled heavily. He thought deeply the whole way to the airport. He concluded he was worried about his daughter and her drug use. "Things are only going to get worse if you keep doing this shit."

Ashley stared at him incredulously. A couple of days ago he didn't give a fuck if she lived or died. Now, he was preaching to her about drugs? "Are you finished?" She asked flatly, she wasn't buying the whole 'concerned father' act. Fuck him, she thought bitterly. "I have a flight to catch."

Pops nodded. "You're dismissed." Brown eyes watched Ashley leave and Pops sighed when she slammed the door. "She's not going to make this easy." He mumbled meeting Rachael's gaze.

"17 years of damage." She placed a supportive hand on his upper arm. "It's not going to happen over night."

"What time is my flight to L.A.?" He purposely changed the subject; just wanting to get Ashley out of his mind. He had other things to worry about. Like his health. A recent trip to the doctor confirmed his worst fear. All of his drug use had done permanent damage to his heart and nasal passage. He frowned remembering all of the medication he was now on. "Shit, she's too young to be doing this shit to herself." Rachael nodded but didn't say anything. "I don't want heart disease to be the reason why she quits." Pulling out his cell phone, he frantically dialed a familiar number. "Roscoe, I need you to do something. It concerns Ashley…"

--------------

Ashley sauntered through the airport feeling like shit. She had one hell of a head ache, a stuffed up nose, and she felt very tired. Keeping her eyes open was starting to become a difficult task. Brown eyes regarded the band members sitting at the gate. Glen and Clay were focusing on their cell phones while Spencer flipped through a magazine. Ashley took a couple of steps and then abruptly stopped, grasping onto her bodyguard's arm to keep from falling. "Are you alright Ms. Davies?" She heard being asked above.

Brown eyes looked up. Roscoe's face was blurry, she blinked, it was clear, she blinked again, it was blurry. Ashley looked away and shook her head. "I'm fine." She lied, walking away from her bodyguard. "I just need to use the bathroom." Her legs felt heavy, it was hard to move. Panic filled her chest as she pushed open the bathroom door and stepped inside. She went straight to the sink and turned on the water. She felt dizzy and her vision was blurring in and out. Cupping a handful of cold water, she closed her eyes and brought it up to her face, gasping when the cool water hit her skin.

Ashley failed to hear the bathroom door open and jumped when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. "Whoa, calm down." Spencer soothed meeting scared brown eyes. Gray eyes examined the 17 year old and she was scared for her lover. Her breathing was quick, eyes dilated and full of fear. The dark circles under her eyes proved lack of sleep and her runny nose was a sign of cocaine use. Not that Spencer didn't know that already. "Ashley, maybe you should have gone with Pops to the doctor."

The rock star snorted and looked down. "I'm fine."

Spencer looked down and noticed Ashley's hands. They were holding onto the edge of the counter. Her knuckles were white from the amount of pressure she had on her grip. Despite her best efforts to stay balanced, Ashley still swayed a bit. "You don't look fine, Ash." Spencer's heart nearly broke at her sad expression. "What's wrong?"

Ashley didn't say anything. Instead, she quickly turned around, intent on walking out of the room, but then froze. Her legs were rebelling against her and she felt too tired to move. "I'm just hung over," Brown eyes regarded the white tile floor under her shoes. "I'll get over it."

Spencer took her hand and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles, surprising the rock star. "Please don't lie to me, Ash. I care so much about you, I just want you to feel better."

"I don't understand you." There was no anger in her voice, just confusion. "You should hate me. I fucked up big time last night." She frowned, "Why are you still putting up with me? I'm just going to fuck up again and you know it." She didn't understand why the blonde was still dealing with her. Especially when everyone else stopped giving a fuck.

"Is it too hard to believe that I care about you?" She questioned softly.

Ashley didn't hesitate answering. "No, caring just seems to be part of your nature, but I'm sure you have limits that I've crossed. And don't lie and say that I haven't crossed them." Her eyes lowered and landed on her lips. She knew under the make up lied some sort of mark. Big or small, she didn't care. She still hurt the blonde and that was crossing the line for her. "I'm sorry for hurting you." She took her hand out of the blonde's grasp, feeling too guilty to even touch her. "I didn't mean to-"

"I know, Ash." Spencer cut in, seeing the shameful expression on her face. She didn't want Ashley to hurt anymore. She knew the rock star already felt like shit. A guilt trip was the last thing she needed. "It's alright, Hon. I forgive you."

"Why?" Ashley demanded. She just didn't understand why Spencer was being so nice about everything. "I'm a fucking mess. Don't you remember what happened last night?"

"I was there, Ashley. Of course I remember."

"Then why aren't you pissed off and hating me?"

"Would that really solve anything?"

"I don't know," Ashley answered honestly, "But it'd make more sense."

Spencer continued gazing into questioning brown eyes, internally sighing. It didn't surprise her that Ashley wasn't letting the subject drop. She wished the tired rock star would just accept her forgiveness and move on, but that obviously wasn't going to happen.

"I had a lot of time to think about us, Ashley." She explained calmly. "I'm going to be honest and admit that you've been more than a handful for me." Seeing Ashley's shoulders slump and face fall, she really wanted to stop. But couldn't. Ashley wanted to hear it. "That you've hurt me in so many different ways. It hasn't been easy for me to be with you. It's been hell." She reached out and tilted the rock star's chin, forcing her to make eye contact. "But it's nothing compared to what you've been going through. And I know that." Spencer used the pad of her thumb to wipe away an errant tear spilling from her eye. "Cocaine is a very powerful drug. It corrupts minds, destroys relationships and kills. I'm not going to run away and let this addiction kill you, Ashley. I love you too much to do that."

Ashley opened her mouth to argue but Spencer silenced it by placing a gentle finger over her lips. "I never expected loving you to be easy, I just have to know that you haven't given up on quitting."

"I haven't," she murmured.

"Good," Spencer smiled softly. "Because I haven't either."

Despite the tears running down her face, Ashley stepped forward and lovingly wrapped her arms around the blonde, burying her face in vanilla scented hair, she murmured, "Thank you for not giving up on me. You don't know how much that means to me."

Spencer returned the hug, placing a soft kiss on the side of her neck. "You don't know how much you mean to me," She spoke softly near her ear. "I love you Ashley."

Ashley pulled back. "I love you too." She mumbled, fighting hard to keep her eyes open. All of the emotions running through her tired frame was exhausting. Yawning, she turned her head away and fought hard to keep her balance. Spencer placed her hands on her hips, steadying her, and then thought of something. "When was the last time you ate?" She inquired softly, watching brown eyes close and then abruptly open again.

Ashley shrugged. "I'm not sure."

Spencer reached down and took the rock star's hand.

"Lets get you fed, rock star."

--------------

Ashley stared intolerably down at the Styrofoam plate before her. She wasn't hungry; in fact, the thought of eating made her more nauseous. Turning her head, she watched Spencer place their orders. They had chosen a small deli to eat at. It wasn't far from their gate and it smelled wonderful….to Spencer, not Ashley. She sighed and turned back around, pulling out her cell phone, she began checking her messages. She answered the first two text messages quickly and froze when she read who the third one was from. Samantha Richmond. Brown eyes scanned the short message, widening at the end. "Fuck," She breathed. Samantha was the daughter of Kent Richmond, 'Suffocate me Blind's' manager. Their fathers were close friends and they grew up together.

Ashley reread the message and then closed her razor. Samantha was going to join them in Miami. That would have normally made her happy, but not this time. Samantha was gorgeous and very special to Ashley. Every time they met, they fucked.

"Oh I got you this really yummy looking soup…." Spencer trailed off when she noticed the disdain look on Ashley's face. "What's wrong?" She put down the tray of food and took the seat across from the rock star.

Ashley looked up and met her gaze. I'm not going to keep anything from you. "This is what's wrong," She sighed, handing her phone to Spencer.

Spencer took the black razor and stared curiously down at the screen. She read the small message and then stared back into nervous brown eyes. "Who sent this? And what did she mean by 'fun'?"

"She's an old friend." Ashley explained sheepishly. Fuck buddy is more like it. "Her name is Samantha and we grew up together. Our fathers are friends and um, we occasionally fuck whenever we're together. "She didn't like the look on Spencer's face so quickly added, "But not this time. I don't plan on this visit being too long. We'll be in and out of there and then do whatever you want to do. I'm over her."

Relief quickly washed over the blonde's features and she visibly relaxed. "You don't seem too happy about seeing her." she thought back to the part of the message that read 'I'm flyin to Miami 2nite. I really miss u and can't wait to spen some quality time alone wit u.' She wouldn't feel comfortable going.

Ashley shook her head no. "I'm not, but she's a really good friend and I haven't seen her in a while." She shrugged, "A visit won't hurt and we're not having sex…it shouldn't be too long of a 'date.'"

Spencer stared down at her food. "If you don't mind, I think I'll stay in tonight and let you visit with her alone." She met curious brown eyes. "I just don't think I'd be comfortable going."

Ashley blinked her surprise. Spencer normally looked forward to meeting new people. "Are you sure?" She didn't want to upset Spencer by going without her. "I'll call her and tell her I can't make it." She added quickly. "We'll stay in tonight and relax." She grabbed her cell phone but was stopped by a tender hand on her arm.

"Ashley its fine." Spencer honestly said when the rock star met her gaze. "I don't mind if you visit with your friend. I trust you." She wasn't worried about Ashley cheating on her. That was one of the things that came along with getting high or drunk. She was sure if Ashley stayed sober, she'd also stay faithful. "I'm more worried about you going out and taking something you'll regret in the morning."

Brown eyes regarded the light liquid of the soup. "I won't." She looked up and gazed solely into Spencer's eyes. "I promise you. I won't do any drugs or drink alcohol ever again." Her eyes lowered and landed on her lips. "After last night… I'm just finished with that shit. From now on, I'm going to try my hardest to stay clean." She promised. "Even if it means going to rehab, I want to get clean." I'm tired of hurting you. "I…I want to make you happy and proud of me." She added quietly.

Spencer reached out and covered Ashley's hand with her own. "You do make me happy Ashley." She brought her hand up to her face and brushed her lips across soft knuckles. "Nobody said love was easy." She murmured, placing a final kiss on Ashley's knuckles before lowering both their hands. "I'm not giving up."

"I'm not either. I love you."

"I love you too, Ashley." She smiled. "And that's why you're going to spend some time with this friend of yours." Taking a break from the music scene and spending time with a childhood friend would be good for Ashley.

"Are you sure?" She asked unsurely.

"Yep." She answered eying Ashley's bowl. "Now, hurry up and finish your soup," She commanded playfully. "We have a plane to catch."

Ashley chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

--------------

Spencer unbuckled her seat belt and turned her head. Ashley slept soundly against her; her head resting comfortably on her shoulder. A smile tugged on the blonde's lips as she watched the rock star sleep. The flight wasn't more than an hour long. Spencer spent most of her time reading, only stopping to watch her lover sleep. She looked so relaxed and peaceful sleeping against her. Waking the peaceful teen was the last thing she wanted to do. "Ashley." She cooed softly, gently tapping the soft skin on her forearm.

Ashley whimpered in protest and opened her eyes. Groggily looking around, brown eyes examined the plane. "We're here already?" She yawned.

"Yep. Welcome to Tampa."

Ashley looked around the plane and sighed. It was taking the crowded aisle forever to clear. "Next time we're flying first class. On a private jet." A middle aged woman heard Ashley and shot her a 'quit bitching' look. Ashley bit down hard on her tongue to keep from saying anything back. "Did you see that look she just gave me?" She grumbled near Spencer's ear.

Spencer patted her hand. "Calm down, hon. she was sleeping a couple of seats down from us. I'm sure she's just as cranky as you are." She grinned at Ashley's offended expression.

The auburn haired teen huffed. "I'm not cranky. I just hate the world right now, especially the people on this plane." Ashley smiled broadly at Spencer's playful eye roll. Okay I am cranky, but she's not going to hear me say that.

"You're a terrible liar, Ash." Spencer stood up and motioned for her to do the same. The rock star smirked and held out her hand. Spencer took it and helped Ashley up. "Cranky and lazy, my mom is going to love you." She teased standing next to the stretching teen.

Ashley laughed softly, turning her head to gaze into playful gray eyes. "If you think I'm lazy now," She leaned in closer to the blonde; her breath grazing the sensitive skin on her ear. "Just wait until we're married. I'll have you all to myself and we'll be lazy together in bed … naked..."

Spencer's face burned as she leaned forward and buried her face in the crook of the grinning teen's neck. "Don't we do that enough now?" She mumbled against her warm skin; smiling as a hand slipped under her shirt and massaged the small of her back.

Ashley spoke for Spencer's ears only. "You haven't seen anything yet, hon." She breathed, seductively using the name Spencer had used for her. "Imagine when we're off tour…..staying at the beach house……all day and all night….alone…for many many nights…"

Spencer tilted her head and met Ashley's brown eyes. The people on the plane and the plane itself disappeared as they gazed into one another's eyes. "You wouldn't get tired of me?" Lost in Ashley's loving gaze, Spencer reached up and placed her hand on the back of her neck; fingering soft auburn hair.

"Never." Ashley's eyes dropped to the blonde's soft lips. The rock star lowered her head, intent on kissing her girlfriend, and gritted her teeth in frustration when the flight attendant interrupted their moment by asking them to return one of the seats back to its neutral position. She watched Spencer abruptly jerk back and blush furiously.

Not saying a word, Ashley focused on the chair and pushed the small button on the side. It immediately shot up and was back to its neutral position. "Happy now?" She rudely asked the flight attendant openly staring at them.

The brunette was snapped out her reverie by the rock star's annoyed tone. "Y-yes." She stuttered before quickly turning and leaving.

Ashley looked at the aisle and smiled at the 4 other people staring at her. They all quickly looked away and Ashley rolled her eyes. "Bastards." She muttered turning to face the blonde. "You ready?" She asked motioning toward the aisle.

Spencer nodded her head 'yes' and followed Ashley off the plane.

--------------

Walking through the airport with the blonde at her side was frustrating. It took all of the rock star's will power to keep from reaching out and taking the blonde's hand and rushing them out of the overcrowded building. Spencer was getting a lot of attention from the people around them. They all recognized her as the woman on every teen magazine in the country. Ashley could tell Spencer was uncomfortable with all of the attention. The teenage girls were the worst. They would stop the blonde and ask a million questions about Aiden. It annoyed the hell out of Ashley and after the first 3 stops, she took Spencer's hand and quickened their steps. At this rate they were never going to get to the limo.

"Ashley!" Spencer shrilled, quickly withdrawing her hand away from the rock star's grasp. Ashley stopped moving and looked at her. Noticing the hurt look on her lover's face, Spencer quickly explained. "People might see and take pictures or something. You know how magazines exaggerate things and lie."

"It's not like we're looking very romantic. I was just helping you get away from those annoying bitches." She snarled, not mad at Spencer. Just everyone else. "I won't touch you again."

Spencer watched Ashley turn back around and walk faster than before. She wasted no time catching up to the auburn haired teen. "Hey, I'm sorry okay." She briefly touched the rock star's forearm, wanting the contact to be longer than it was. "I wish things were different too." She said as though reading the rock star's thoughts.

Brown eyes regarded her apologetically. "I know. Sorry I snapped. I'm just stressed." She shrugged, staring ahead again.

Spencer accepted her apology and they continued walking in silence.

--------------

The ride to the Tampa estate was quiet and uneventful. Cell phones and the scenery outside occupied everyone's attention until the car stopped. Ashley looked up from her black razor. The house was very expensive and extremely gorgeous. She hadn't been there in over 2 years and she was dreading having to visit again. She didn't want to exit the limo, but she didn't have much of a choice.

The 15 year old walked up the porch steps and opened the front door. She was exhausted. She had just finished a two month tour and all she wanted to do was relax in her gorgeous home in Tampa. She never understood why Pops bought it. It was only the two of them and the house accommodated 7 people comfortably. Ashley shook the backpack off her shoulders and let it fall heavily onto the floor. "Pops!" She called out wondering where the old man was lying around. "Bastard and his bitch better not be in my room." She muttered, thinking about her father's recent marriage. The woman was a whore, that was obvious and Ashley couldn't wait for her to find out how commited her father was to his marriages. It was only a matter of a time before she caught him with some other whore. That's how his last 4 marriages ended.

Ashley walked into the kitchen and hovered over the stove. Her nose wrinkled in disgust. The nastiest smelling pasta she had ever seen sat rotting away in a pot. The 15 year old quickly moved away and opened the fridge. She groaned as brown eyes landed on the empty clean shelves. Her stomach growled as she slammed the fridge closed. "Why isn't there any fucking food?" She wondered out loud.

"Hello there."

Ashley turned around and frowned at the brunette standing under the doorway. Her father only knew her for 2 months before they tied the knot. It surprised Ashley that their marriage lasted more than a couple of weeks. Next month would be their 4 month anniversary. "Why isn't there any food?" She demanded, ignoring the woman's kind smile. "I'm starving and where's Pops? I don't want to be here." She whined thinking about her friends in L.A. Samantha was having everyone over for a week long sleepover. There was going to be a lot of drugs and sex. Ashley wanted so badly to be apart of it but Pops had other plans. Without an explanation, he demanded she go straight to Tampa after touring. Ashley didn't know why, but she went along with it.

"You're father had to fly to New York to settle something," She ran a nervous hand through her hair. Ashley's fists clenched abruptly and she knew the teen was very angry. "I sent the driver to pick you up from the airport. Did you have a nice flight?"

Ashley ignored the question. "Why the fuck am I here?!"

"Please lower your voice." The older woman pleaded. "I thought it'd be nice for us to spend some time together."

"Why?" Ashley snorted. "You'll be gone before my 16th birthday. Plus, I don't give a fuck about trash like you." She smiled. "Whores aren't worth more than the couple of dollars men pay them to suck their cocks."

"My name is Cynthia. Please don't refer to me as trash." She ignored the last thing Ashley said and eyed the girl. Her hair was wild and wavy with red dye randomly mixed in it. She wore a band T shirt and jeans that had holes in them with converse shoes. "Are you hungry? We can go-"

"I'm not going anywhere with you." Ashley snapped. "But yeah I am hungry. Be a good little whore and satisfy me with some food." She grinned. "A lobster dinner sounds good." Ashley continued to talk, stopping Cynthia from saying whatever she had to say. She looked angry and the teen loved it. "You said not to call you trash, you didn't say anything about whore."

Cynthia sighed and walked over to the bar. Raife said she was going to be complicated. She didn't think it'd be this bad though. There were a lot of complicated people to deal with in her line of work. Before becoming his wife, she was a stripper at Raife's club and she met him one night at work. She was instantly attracted to the man and it wasn't long before they slept together. He was still in her bed the next morning and she nursed him through a painful hangover. He spent the next couple of days at her house, which was fine with her. They connected very well with each other and kept in contact when he left on tour. "I wish I could have a drink." She mumbled, hungrily staring at the vodka bottle.

"You can get wasted after I'm fed." Ashley impatiently stated, tapping her fingers angrily on the kitchen's island. "Can you hurry your ass up? I already told you what I wanted."

The older woman stared at Ashley. The teen stood arrogantly, waiting for her to move. She was desperate for the teen to change her attitude. Desperate enough to share the news she had been keeping from Raife. "Ashley I would really appreciate it if you'd be a little kinder to me."

Ashley laughed bitterly. "I already told you I don't give a fuck about whores-"

"How do you feel about pregnant women?"

Ashley stood on the driveway staring at the 2 story luxury home. The property sat on 1.33 acres and was equipped with everything from a pool to a theatre. "It's beautiful." Ashley heard Spencer say next to her. The rock star disagreed. Staring at the beautiful house in front of her, she couldn't help but think it was the ugliest place in the world.

--------------

Ashley gave Spencer a brief tour of the house. She showed her everything from the kitchen downstairs to her bedroom upstairs. Her room was big and almost empty. Only a bed and dresser occupied the large space. The walls were bare and there wasn't any type of entertainment anywhere.

Spencer dropped her bag on the bed and turned her head. Ashley stood in the middle of the room. Her face was vacant as brown eyes scanned the familiar room. Spencer knew something was up with the rock star. She hadn't said much since they entered the house. The blonde assumed it had something to do with her cocaine cravings and didn't question it. She wanted Ashley to talk about her addiction on her own. She didn't want to have to force it out of her lover. "When was the last time you lived here?"

Ashley snapped her head over to the blonde's voice and shrugged. "About a year and a half ago. I've never really lived here, just sort of visited from time to time."

Spencer wrapped her arms around Ashley's waist and lightly nuzzled the skin on her neck. "You have all of these beautiful houses." She closed her eyes and relished their closeness. "but you hardly live in any of them," She thought of the rock star's beach house and how gorgeous, but empty it was. "I don't understand that."

Ashley picked her hand up and began running her finger through soft blonde hair. "I'm usually sleeping on a bus or in a hotel room. After two weeks of living in the beach house I got restless and left." She sighed. "I just can't stay in one place for too long. When I'm not on tour, I'm spending my time hopping from state to state, staying with friends or sleeping in a hotel room, having a good time….." She placed a tender kiss on her lover's temple, feeling the arms around her waist tighten a little. "I don't want that anymore, Spencer." She whispered honestly. "If you want, after the tour we can fly back to L.A. and do some shopping, you know? Fill the place up for us." Her voice was shaky expressing her nervousness. She really wanted Spencer to move in with her. Having little experience in relationships, she didn't realize how big of a step that was.

Shocked, Spencer pulled back and gazed into anxious brown eyes. "Are you asking me to move in with you?" She calmly asked.

Ashley nodded hearing the hammering in her chest like a frantic drum beat. Spencer stood still, quiet for a second. It was a major step in their relationship and a major relief to the blonde. Ashley's proposal said more than a thousand words. Words she loved hearing. Ashley didn't want anyone else, only her. It made Spencer deliriously happy and the wide smile on her face said it all. Moving forward, she placed a loving kiss on Ashley's lips. "Yes, I'll move in with you." She breathed happily.

Excited, Ashley captured the blonde's lips in a heated kiss that left them both panting for air. "You won't regret this, Spence. I promise."

Spencer smiled softly and kissed her chin. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

They held each other's gaze for what seemed like forever, smiling and softly caressing each other. The amount of love they held for each other shunned visibly in each others eyes. Brown eyes lowered and landed on moist parted lips. Ashley leaned forward and gave into her urge to kiss the blonde, but then stopped when she heard voices downstairs. They were loud obnoxious voices. Ashley pulled back with a sigh. "It seems our guests are here." She mumbled miserably.

"Forget about them." Spencer husked, taking her lover's hand and leading them to the bed.

--------------

Aiden walked through the doorway, smiling his excitement. He couldn't wait to tell Spencer about Darcey and how she quit her job to tour with him. "Baby you'll love this place." He told the waitress walking behind him. "It's huge with just about everything you can imagine, including a bowling alley." He winked at her knowing she loved to bowl.

Darcey's brown eyes lit up as she gazed into excited blue ones. "You're kidding me! How loaded is this guy? This crib looks pretty expensive." She took her boyfriend's hand and turned her head. They were standing in front of the large oak door; the royal staircase had her full attention. She had never seen anything like it. The double staircase was paneled in oak with heavily carved railing, making it look extremely fancy and expensive.

"Do we get to go upstairs?" Her tone was hushed, making Aiden chuckle. The rest of the band was already in the studio. That was confirmed by the muffled laughter coming from the basement. Aiden knew they weren't supposed to go snooping around Pops' house without Davies permission, but he wanted desperately to impress his lady. Plus, he wanted to find Spencer and from what Glen had told him outside, she wasn't downstairs.

Pink lips parted, exposing two rows of perfect, straight, pearl white teeth. "Of course we do. But first you have to see the first floor."

They walked past the double staircase and entered the living room. It was huge with wooden flooring that shined, reflecting a recent polishing. The walls were beige with huge arch windows. No blinds covered them, allowing vast amount of sunlight to fill the room. "It's so pretty in here!" Darcey complimented, fingering the abandoned expensive furniture.

"Yeah, I forgot how awesome this house was." Aiden murmured, checking out the complex stereo system attached to the flat screen tv. "Can you believe they hardly live here?" His body extended its full 6 foot 2 as he stood up and met his girlfriend's bewildered gaze. "The only time Ashley or Pops are ever here is to record in the studio. They just leave when they finish and don't return until it's time to record again. It's like they hate this place or something."

Darcey's jaw nearly dropped. "You're kidding me?" She gawked. "Who in their right mind could hate this gorgeous home?!"

Aiden shrugged. "I guess they've been rich for so long that luxury doesn't impress them anymore."

"Gees, I wish I had it this good." She looked around the room and briefly admired the art hanging on the walls. "I bet they have it so easy. Ashley and Pops."

"Yeah, C'mon lets see the kitchen and then head upstairs and find that bowling alley."

Darcey squealed while hugging him. "Ohhhh I can't wait. You're the best."

Aiden kissed her and they went off to the next room.

--------------

Ashley sat on the couch, watching her step mother frantically pick up around the house, The living room was already spotless, but the auburn haired teen knew Cynthia was just extremely nervous about Pops flying in that night. Hell, she was nervous for her. Hearing about the pregnancy changed her attitude toward the blonde. Her bitterness turned into shock and then nervousness. She was nervous because her father had stated more than once that he didn't want anymore children. The last time she heard him say that was a couple of months ago. They were on their way to Vegas and Pops was having a party on the tour bus. Men and whores filled the bus, making Ashley sick. She sat on the couch with Glen just watching everyone act like drunk jackasses. She never drank with her father and his friends. She wasn't comfortable with the idea of being trashed around her father's stupid perverted friends. Disgusted, brown eyes watched her father ask some guy for a condom. The woman he was going to use it on was on his lap, sucking his neck and face as he spoke. The guy laughed 'You don't need no rubber, just fuck the ho." He slurred, Ashley looked away and wished she were somewhere else. The smell of alcohol, sex, and marijuana was something she never got used to. 'I don't want anymore fucking kids!' Ashley's head snapped up at the amount of venom she heard in her father's voice. 'I don't want anymore whores demanding fucking child support! I swear, the next bitch that gets pregnant will regret it. I'll make sure of that. My money is too good to be wasted on sluts.' Ashley rolled her eyes and got off the couch. She hated her father. He was an asshole. She walked into the back room and locked the door. Lying on the floor, the bed being too disgusting to even look at, much less sleep in, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to claim her.

The memory brought a frown to the teen's face.

The look did not go unnoticed by Cynthia. "Are you okay?" She asked with genuine concern.

Ashley snapped out of her haze and shrugged. "Yeah. I'm fine." She lied. She was worried for the blonde, which was surprising since she normally didn't give a fuck about her dad's whores. But then again, Cynthia was different from her father's past wives. She was nice and very kind. Very normal. Just a woman from a small town in Colorado. "Are you sure you want to tell him tonight?" She blurted out, the concern on her face surprising the blonde.

Cynthia smiled warmly at her concern. "Yes. It's his child too. I think he'll be happy for us."

Ashley wasn't so sure. "He has other kids. Kids he doesn't see or want. He gets pissed off every month when its time to pay child support. I don't think he'll like that you're pregnant. He obviously has enough mouths to feed."

"But we're in love." She retorted gently. "He'll want this child. Don't worry Ashley; everything will work out for the best. You're father is a great guy. I see how much he loves you. You two are always hugging and smiling at each other. He's a wonderful father."

Ashley fought back an eye roll. She knew Cynthia was referring to their media image. They weren't close at all. "Yeah," She mumbled while hopping off the couch. "I'm going upstairs, call me whenever dinner's ready." She called out while stomping up the stairs.

Cynthia sighed and rubbed her belly.

She hopped Ashley was wrong.

Gray eyes opened and blinked several times. It took the blonde a couple of seconds to catch her bearings. She wasn't used to waking up in rooms that weren't her own yet. Whisking away disheveled blonde hair from her eyes, Spencer lifted her head off the pillow and turned her head. A smile formed over her lips when she noticed her sleeping lover. The auburn haired teen was completely naked, sprawled out across the bed with only a cool silk blanket unevenly covering her bare skin. Spencer relaxed against her pillow and enjoyed the view. Watching Ashley sleep never got old. She loved how peaceful and relaxed she looked in her sleep. Her lips were closed, one of the corners tilted upward, forming a small half smile. Her arms were up over her head, hands touching the headboard and her legs were spread eagle. She laid on her back; only her soft quiet breathing filled the room with noise.

Spencer soaked up her lover's hot naked body, paying extra attention to the rise and fall of her naked breasts, but decided to ignore the heat rising between her legs and let Ashley sleep. She had to be exhausted. Gray eyes closed as She blissfully remembered the orgasm she had bestowed upon her girlfriend. Watching her brown eyes close, back arch, feeling nails dig intensely into her skin, hearing the soundless scream escape parted moist lips; Spencer enjoyed every second of the beautiful moment. Expressing her love by kissing every inch of Ashley's soft face as she held her through her spasms. They fell asleep soon after that and sometime during their nap had drifted away from each other.

Spencer scooted closer to Ashley and watched her sleep at a closer angle. She looked more her age up close and asleep. Maybe even younger than her 17 years. At that moment, Spencer couldn't picture Ashley as a drug addict. She could easily see her as a normal kid from her high school. Someone with no major problems and a loving family. It wasn't fair, she had that, why didn't Ashley? She reached out and brushed auburn hair away from her lover's eyes, wondering if she would have liked that kind of lifestyle.

Gray eyes traveled down from her serene face to her perfect breasts and tight belly. Ashley's abs were more defined than hers and she had slimed down a bit since their first encounter, making Spencer worry. It couldn't be healthy to be so lean, she thought silently and vowed to encourage Ashley to eat more frequently. Once a week wasn't enough.

A blush crept up her neck and onto her cheeks. She admired the perfect landing strip of dark wispy hair over the smooth skin between Ashley's legs and laughed at how well kept it looked. It had to be Ashley's favorite part of her anatomy. Of course she kept it looking good.

Spencer moved her gaze back up and moved onto her side; her head resting on the palm of her hand. With two fingers, she began stroking up and down her lover's abs, enjoying the layers of soft skin covering hard muscle. A smile graced her lips when a tanned hand rose up covered hers. Spencer flattened her hand against Ashley's abs and allowed her lover to guide them upward, onto a naked breast. "That's better," Ashley murmured with a lazy smile.

Spencer chuckled and moved closer to her lover, placing a lingering kiss on her smooth cheek. "Did you sleep well?" She whispered near her ear, cupping the breast in her hand and allowing her thumb to brush over an aroused nipple.

"Not really," She gasped, opening her eyes and meeting Spencer's gray orbs. "Harder," She pleaded softly, craving a firmer touch.

Spencer obliged and held her firmer while tenderly messaging her nipple. "Better?" She dipped her head and began slowly kissing down her neck; sucking and nipping lightly at her sensitive skin.

Ashley threw her head back and offered Spencer more of her skin as she buried her hands into flawless blonde hair. "Unbelievable," She moaned, feeling a warm wet mouth enclose over her other nipple. "I love waking up with you," She husked, feeling the blonde's tongue flick violently over her swollen bud.

Nipping gently at the darker skin around a hardened bud, Spencer closed her eyes and ignored the little voice inside her head telling her to stop. She knew they should have been in the studio with Glen and the others long ago. The problem was she was finding Ashley's body extremely irresistible. Everything else could just wait until she and Ashley were completely sated.

Spencer pulled her head up and settled herself half on top of Ashley, half next to her. She moved up and supported herself on an elbow; her free hand kneading the rock star's breast. She loved the full body contact and the tanned hand tracing her cheekbones and jaw as she stared into desire filled brown eyes. "I'm going to kiss you," She breathed, lowering her head to fulfill her promise.

Ashley closed her eyes.

"I'm going to kill you! You fucking bitch!"

Brown eyes shot open and she abruptly tore her mouth away from Spencer's.

The voice had been so clear, she could have sworn he was in the room. Ashley sat up, pushing aside a very confused blonde; she stared at the wall while a voice inside her mind screamed 'I hate this fucking house!' There was no way she could ever live there again. The memories were hell and she was reliving them. They even plagued her in her sleep. She wished she could just forget them and the house all together.

Taking a deep breath, she exhaled shakily and turned her head after feeling a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked confusedly. She had no idea what she did to make the rock star react so… suddenly. "Did I do something wrong?"

Ashley could tell Spencer felt self conscious by her tone and felt bad. "You didn't do anything wrong, Spence." She spoke honestly. "It's me." She sighed, moving her eyes from dark gray orbs to the white sheets covering her bed. "I had this dream while I slept and it just popped into my mind while we were kissing. Sorry I freaked out, I told you I didn't sleep well." She added lightly.

Spencer rubbed her upper arm sympathetically. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked placing a light kiss on her shoulder.

Ashley shook her head. "I'm fine." She lied, not wanting to talk about the house and the memories that came with it. She had done a fabulous job of forgetting the memories up until now, but being inside of the house… it changed everything.

Feeling the hands on her body get bolder, Ashley moved away from Spencer and got off the bed. "We should meet up with the guys." She suggested, avoiding the blonde's gaze by picking out clothes from her back pack. She was too distracted by her thoughts to continue anything sexual.

Spencer watched Ashley with confusion written all over her face. The rock star wouldn't even look at her!

Ashley stared blankly down at her back pack. She kept thinking about her step mother and the night her father came home. It all played, rewind, and then played again in her mind. Feeling someone touch her arm, she turned her head and then jerked away with a yelp when she saw Cynthia's face. She blinked and realized it was just Spencer. "fuck," She breathed, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. "This house is driving me insane."

Gray eyes watched Ashley's posture with concern. She had no idea what was bothering her lover. Ashley was just staring down at the floor with a vacant expression. Spencer took a seat next to her and grabbed her hand, waiting for brown eyes to look at her before speaking. "What's wrong, Ashley?" She asked gently.

Ashley opened her mouth to answer, but couldn't think of anything to say. She was too lost in her lover's dark gray orbs to lie. They held too much love and genuine concern. "I'm just seeing things, but that's expected when you're on cocaine. Illusions and stuff…don't be surprised if I start seeing unicorns and other fictional creatures." She forced a grin on her face. "I may even mistake you for the cat in the hat." She joked standing up.

Spencer followed the rock star with her eyes and watched as she opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. She admired how Ashley took the illusion thing so lightly. She would freak out if she saw a unicorn. The blonde accepted the illusion explanation but had a feeling that wasn't the only thing bothering Ashley. She had been tense and uncomfortable since walking into the house. It wasn't until they got into bed that Ashley seemed to relax. But that was obviously short lived since Ashley's behavior was uneasy again.

The sound of running water caught Spencer's attention. Hearing light patter of footsteps, she turned her body and faced the bathroom door. Seconds later auburn hair, followed by Ashley's soft features, popped out of the doorway. "Join me in the shower?" She offered softly.

Spencer smiled. "Do you really have to ask me that?"

--------------

Aiden took a long gulp from his Dasani water bottle. Bored with the conversation around him, he surveyed the room. Glen sat in the far corner of the room, secluded, with music sheets in his hands. A few feet away, on a couch, was where Clay sat, talking to Darcey and a couple of other musicians. His eyes stayed glued to Darcey as she laughed and playfully swatted Mike on his upper arm. He thought of Spencer. She never got along with Mike or anyone else in the band. He was glad Darcey was different. They would have the same group of friends, something he and Spencer never had.

His mind stayed on Spencer and he thought back to the tour he had given Darcey. They had gone upstairs and near Ashley's bedroom. There, Aiden had heard some interesting sounds emitting from Ashley's bedroom. It was very obvious they were sex related sounds. He quickly grasped his girlfriend's hand, intent on going back downstairs, but then froze when he heard Ashley moan Spencer's name. He was flabbergasted and it wasn't until Darcey disrupted his many thoughts that he began moving again.

Blue eyes moved back to Glen. Out of everyone else in the room, he was the closest to Ashley. He would know if Ashley was sleeping with Spencer. Aiden didn't think it was possible for Spencer to be gay. He laughed at the thought. A small part of him doubted he was hearing things right. Maybe he was just imagining Ashley moaning his ex's name.

Standing to his full height, Aiden strode over to Glen and took the seat next to him. "Hey dude," He greeted neutrally.

Glen put his papers down and met his gaze. "Hey. What's up?"

Aiden opened his mouth but didn't answer. He didn't know how to word the question. Should he be subtle or blunt? "I was just wondering about Ashley." He started patiently. "How has she been?"

The blonde shrugged. "Okay, I guess. She's still breathing. That's a good sign."

The blue eyed man was a bit taken aback by his tone. It was almost bitter. Glen and Ashley had always been close and constantly confided in each other. Something was obviously up. "Oh, well yeah that's great that she's great." He babbled. "Is she seeing anyone?" He blurted out, losing all patience.

Glen shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Um, you know how Ashley is. She sees a lot of people."

Aiden nodded but wasn't satisfied with the answer. "Where is Ashley? And why haven't I seen Spencer yet?"

Again, Glen shrugged and picked up his papers; scanning them. "Their probably doing some chick thing. Make up and stuff." The lie didn't sound good to his ears. He doubted Aiden believed it." They'll pop up sooner or later."

As if on cue, the studio door opened and Spencer walked in.

--------------

Ashley stomach growled as she opened the refrigerator door and examined its contents. She was hardly ever hungry and she couldn't remember the last time her stomach begged so violently for food. It probably had something to do with her lack of cocaine use for that day. She wondered if Spencer was as hungry as she was. Ashley grabbed a couple of things and placed them on the island. After their shower, the blonde had said nothing about her own appetite after demanding she go straight to the kitchen, instead of the studio, and eat something. Ashley didn't argue with the blonde's demands, she just finished dressing and did what she was told. "Well if I have to eat, she does too." She decided, walking back to the ice box to grab more food.

She decided to make something quick, yummy, and light. A turkey wrap instantly came to mind. Healthy and very easy to make; Ashley knew it would be a breeze to prepare. She grabbed a couple of plates and laid out two tortillas, one on each plate. Walking to the sink, she grabbed a bowl from a nearby cabinet and set it by her tortillas. She added salad dressing with spices and began mixing it in the bowl. Satisfied, she spread the dressing on each tortilla and grabbed the packet of turkey.

"Is your chef sick or something?" She heard snickered behind her.

Startled, Ashley turned around and met unfamiliar brown eyes. "I don't have a chef." She answered flatly. "Who are you?"

Darcey walked closer to the rock star, half star struck, half disgusted. "I'm with Aiden, my name is Darcey. Not that you care. You probably look down on little people like me."

Was she serious? The auburn haired teen was so confused. She didn't understand what this stranger's problem was with her. She wondered if they ever slept together. That would explain her angry expression. Ashley was never kind to her groupie friends. "What the hell are you talking about? I don't appreciate bullshit in my own house." She snarled, annoyed with the brunette.

Darcey laughed humorlessly. "I can't believe you call this place that. Aiden's told me all about you. How you've never spent more than a couple of days here. What is a 7 million dollar home not good enough for you? Do you need a 10 million dollar home to satisfy you?"

Ashley smirked. "I actually have a 10 million dollar home in Australia. I've only spent a day there." She shrugged.

The brunette gasped. "I can't believe you! I grew up in a trailer, you know how much all of this means to me? And it means nothing to you? You just don't know how lucky you are." She added softly, all of the anger draining from her demeanor as she looked around the room. "You have it so good-"

"No I don't." Ashley interrupted firmly. "Believe me, there is nothing in my life for you to envy. Including this fucking house." She was done talking. She didn't feel the need to explain herself any further to a stranger. The girl probably had a loving family, high school diploma, and many caring friends.

Ashley envied her normal life and despised her own.

--------------

After greeting everyone, Spencer settled down next to Aiden and Glen. She instantly noticed the discomfort on Glen's face and met her ex's eyes. "What's up?" She hid the nervousness in her voice and unconsciously placed her hand over the hickey on her neck. She fixed her hair to cover it but she still felt self conscious. Having her hand over it helped.

Aiden didn't know what to say as he gazed into gray orbs. Again, he asked himself if he should be subtle or blunt. His eyes flickered over to Glen. This wouldn't work. He looked at Spencer and spoke calmly, "Can I speak to you alone?"

Spencer was a bit surprised but nodded her okay anyway. She looked over at Glen and mumbled an 'excuse me' before getting up and walking out of the room with Aiden. "What's up?" She asked as soon as he closed the door. They stood in the hallway that led to the staircase that led to the 1st floor. It wasn't overly private but good enough for both Aiden and Spencer.

Aiden stared intently into her eyes as he spoke. "I guess I'll start from the start. I brought Darcey with me on tour," He smiled at the mention of her name. "We hit it off that night in the hotel and I think I'm falling hard for her." Spencer also smiled. She was happy for him.

"Does she know our story?"

Aiden nodded. "Yeah and she's okay with us keeping our image, but we can't do anything past hugging." He added quickly.

Spencer chuckled. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm happy with-"

"Ashley?" Aiden finished questionably.

Spencer stood frozen, smile falling from her face. She was going to say 'my lover' and wasn't expecting him to say Ashley, of all people. Should she lie or be honest? "Where is this coming from?" She answered with a question of her own.

Aiden gasped. "It's true!"

"I didn't say that." Spencer hissed.

"I know you Spencer. You never answer a question with a question unless you're stalling. And if it weren't true you would have denied it immediately." He scratched the stubble on his chin breaking eye contact. "This sucks. I turned you into a lesbian! Was I that bad of a boyfriend?"

Spencer wasn't expecting that for a response. "No, you were a great boyfriend." She reassured quickly, realizing Aiden was being seriously insecure about it.

Aiden met her gaze. "Then how did I lose you to Ashley?"

There was no anger in his voice. His tone was all curiosity and wonder, relieving Spencer. "It's hard to explain, Aiden. But if I had to put it in words I'd tell you that I've felt connected to Ashley since day 1. There's just this indescribable bond between us that holds us together so tightly. I've never felt it with anyone else." She admitted lowering her gaze. She didn't want to see Aiden's expression, assuming he'd be hurt.

"I guess that's what they call love." He said dreamily. Spencer looked up. "That's how I feel about Darcey. I really think she's my soul mate." He added with a blush.

Spencer laughed and pulled him into a hug. "I'm glad you've found your soul mate, Aiden."

They pulled away and Aiden smiled hugely at her. "I'm glad you found yours too."

--------------

"What not enough rooms?" Darcey shot back. The nerve of this girl! Saying a 7 million dollar home was nothing to envy. "I can't believe how ungrateful you are. Millions of people would kill for your perfect life…." She continued, moving closer to the rock star.

Ashley focused solely on the vegetables she was cutting. She tried tuning the annoying girl's voice out of her head but couldn't. Everything Darcey said drilled into her mind like a screw and it wasn't until she felt a hand angrily grasped her upper arm that she snapped.

Ashley moved suddenly and shoved a shocked Darcey against the counters, her head hitting the kitchen's cabinet's violently. She brought her arm up and angrily embedded the knife into the cabinet, mere inches away from Darcey's head. Scared brown eyes saw the knife's silver blade out of the corner of her eye. Darcey's heart was racing as she stared into furious brown eyes. Their bodies were insanely close, she could feel Ashley's quick breaths against her chin.

Ashley smirked at Darcey's fear and discomfort. She leaned further into the brunette, their bodies making full contact as she brushed her lips against her ear. "Millions of people would kill to be in this position." She emphasized her point by pressing her thigh seductively against Darcey's center, not surprised when the brunette lightly moaned in her ear. Ashley rolled her eyes, thinking 'slut' as she completely moved away from Darcey and pulled the knife out of the cabinet. Walking away, She continued cutting vegetables, happy Darcey wouldn't be saying much anymore.

Darcey stood in a state of shock, trying to get her body back under control. Her heart was still racing and she felt the adrenaline and arousal furiously run through her small frame. She hated the feeling. "D-don't you ever touch me like that again." She spat venomously.

Ashley snorted, not taking her eyes off the tomato she was dicing perfectly. "Like I'd want to." She retorted sarcastically. "Believe me, I've had much better offers."

Darcey didn't say anything. She just stared at the auburn haired teen questionably. "Are you a dyke?" She blurted out unconsciously.

Ashley paused and looked at her. "Yeah," She said in place of 'duh'.

Darcey smiled. "Aiden never told me that." She mused. "ha, now I know why your life isn't enviable. Your going to die and rot in hell anyway."

Ashley chuckled. "I guess I'll see you there. Premarital sex is also a sin."

Darcey didn't reply, she couldn't think of anything to say. Her and Aiden were sexually active.

Sensing Darcey's loss of words, Ashley focused on her wraps and continued putting them together.

--------------

Spencer watched Aiden walk back into the studio and decided to check on Ashley. She passed Darcey on the way and was surprised by the negative energy that oozed off her. The frown and lack of greeting was also an indication that she was not a happy camper. Spencer sighed before taking the stairs 2 at a time. She had a feeling Ashley had something to do with her sullenness.

Spencer stepped into the kitchen and her feelings died when she caught sight of her lover. Ashley looked so innocent folding each tortilla perfectly. Her eyes were solely on the wraps, expressing deep concentration. A smile spread over Spencer's lips as she strolled over to the auburn haired teen and hugged her from behind.

"Whoa," Ashley exclaimed as she felt a chin nestle comfortably on her shoulder.

"Looks wonderful, darling." Spencer murmured, kissing the skin on her neck.

Ashley fought back a shiver as she felt the blonde's tongue taste her sensitive skin. "Glad you think so," she breathed, feeling confident hands cup her breasts. "Baby, do you really think this is smart? Anyone could walk in and catch us." She felt like an idiot for trying to convince the blonde to stop, but deep down, she knew it was the right thing to do.

"Sorry," Spencer blushed furiously. "I couldn't help myself, you looked so darn cute." She placed a kiss on Ashley's cheek and removed her hands from her body. Stepping beside her girlfriend, she peered down at the delicious looking food. "Oh Ashley this is going to be really yummy." She grabbed her plate and waited for Ashley to do the same before grabbing her girlfriend's free hand and leading them into the dinning room.

They ate slowly at the dinner table, due to all of the talking they were doing. Their conversation was full of light banter, past experiences, and everything else that came to mind. There was no talk of drugs, sex, or even their careers. It was all simple joyful conversation.

Spencer placed her empty plate on top of Ashley's and sat back contented in her chair. She sat next to Ashley on the longer side of the table. Ashley's hand rested comfortably on her thigh with Spencer's hand covering it. "That was really good, Ashley. You should really rethink your career." she said playfully. "I can see you working as a chef in a 5 star restaurant.

The auburn haired teen smiled. "I'm glad you liked it, but don't you think it'd be a bit silly of me to work as a chef when I can buy my own restaurant. It's not like I don't have the money."

Spencer regarded her curiously. "Is a restaurant something you want?"

Ashley shrugged. "I don't know what I want. I can be in this band for the rest of my life for all I know."

The sadness in her tone was not lost on Spencer. "Ashley you don't have to be in this band for the rest of your life." She spoke softly. "If you're not happy doing this, leave."

Ashley broke their gaze and stared down at their hands. She watched Spencer's thumb stroke her skin with rapt attention. "It's not that easy Spencer. What would I do then? All I'm good at is playing guitar and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in some mansion doing absolutely nothing. I've already traveled around the world, met celebrities, and there is enough money in my bank account to last several lifetimes. I feel like there's nothing left for me to do."

"You're a good cook, Ashley." Spencer reminded. "And I can tell you enjoy cooking. Start your own restaurant if it makes you happy. I'll even help you with the research."

Ashley looked up. "You seriously think I can start a restaurant?"

Spencer nodded. "It's not like you don't have the money."

--------------

Ashley sat in the studio lightly strumming her guitar. The atmosphere was positive and clean, the opposite from what it normally was, especially with Aiden's band joining them. Normally, Ashley would be too busy getting high to worry about anything else. Who cares about music when there is cocaine sitting right in front of me, was her mentality, but this time there were no drugs present, and it relieved her. Earlier, Mike had complained to her about Roscoe. He had stopped the drummer from bringing in alcohol into the studio. That surprised Ashley. Roscoe never cared if they did drugs or drank in the studio. She wondered if her Dad put him up to it and if she should despise or thank him for it.

Brown eyes looked up and Ashley gritted her teeth in frustration when she caught Aiden staring at her for the thousandth time that day. She didn't have a clue what his problem was. When she stepped into the studio, he greeted her briefly with a goofy look on his face. She returned the greeting and retreated to one of her favorite chairs in the room; a guitar in one hand, a can of Dr. Pepper in the other.

"That sounded awesome Ash." Mike complimented in the chair next to hers.

She looked at him. "I was just strumming. Have you taken anything today?" She asked conversationally, looking down at the fingers moving across the guitar strings.

Mike smiled, his dark sunglasses covering his blood shot eyes. "A couple of things. But just a couple of pain pills recently. I brought you some coke but that asshole Roscoe took my shit." He sat up in his chair and leaned forward. "Baby, lets ditch this joint and go find some fun. I have a friend who lives around here. The dude always has good shit and hot babes."

Ashley continued strumming her guitar; her fingers roughly stroking each cord as she thought about Mike's offer. It'd be so easy to just get up and leave with him, find some coke and sate her body's constant need for the drug. She looked up and smiled at beautiful gray eyes staring into her own. Her fingers relaxed and she strummed lightly, mouthing 'I love you' to the woman she loved more than anything else in the world. More than cocaine.

"I'll pass Mike." She answered after receiving a 'I love you more' from Spencer's lips. Brown eyes met his sunglasses. "I'm already in deep shit with Pops," she sighed. "I'm getting tired of all of his bitching." She stopped strumming and drank more of her Dr. Pepper.

Mike nodded in understanding. "I know how you feel. Kent bitches a lot too." He stood up. "But that's not going to stop me from fucking hot babes. See ya in Miami."

Ashley watched him leave and felt unusually proud. She turned down sex and drugs without much of a internal debate, that didn't happen often. Her smile reflected how happy she felt at the moment. Maybe she wasn't as weak as she thought she was. She looked up and met Spencer's amused expression. The blonde stood in a small group of 4 people. Aiden, Darcey, Glen and some guy she didn't know.

The rock star set her guitar aside and strolled over to Spencer. She leaned in close and whispered in her ear. "I feel really amazing." She admitted almost giddily.

Spencer mirrored Ashley's smile when she noticed the twinkle in her vibrant brown eyes. "And why is that," She asked quietly, fighting back the urge to kiss her girlfriend.

"I said no," She answered softly. "When Mike invited me over for sex and drugs." She absently fingered the ring on Spencer's hand. "I don't think I've ever turned him down. I just feel really good for doing it."

Spencer pulled Ashley into a loving hug, ignoring everyone else in the room. "I'm so proud of you." She murmured in her ear.

Ashley returned the hug. "Me too."

They pulled apart and brown eyes caught blue eyes staring again. "Excuse me."

She crossed the short distance and grabbed Aiden's hand, leading them to the other side of the studio. "Why do you keep staring at me?" She asked bluntly.

Aiden chuckled. "Sorry, ever since Spencer told me about you and her- I just can't help it. It's hard to picture you with a girlfriend." He shrugged.

Ashley was a bit surprised by the news. When did Spencer tell him about us? "When did she tell you?" She wondered out loud.

"Earlier today." He moved forward and wrapped his arms around her tense frame. "I'm so happy for you buddy." He said letting go of her. "We should double date! Darcey, me and Spencer and you! Oh we would have a great time."

The rock star stared at him. "Darcey is your girlfriend?" She hid the shock in her voice but her mind was still reeling from everything else Aiden had told her.

Aiden nodded. "Soul mate actually." He looked over at the brunette. She was talking deeply with Spencer. "I really love her Ash." He met her brown eyes and blushed a bit.

"She seems great." Ashley lied. She wasn't about to call his soul mate a bitch. "I'm happy you found her and she makes you happy." She added genuinely.

"Same here." He responded before his eyes landed on the guitar leaning against the chair. "Oh Ash you have to hear what I came up with the other night."

He grabbed the guitar and all relationship talk died, replaced by music.

--------------

The next 3 hours were spent actually working. From guitar solos to vocals, everyone ended up recording and writing something. Everything went extremely well and when it was over, Ashley watched everyone leave and took her guitar off. It was time to head out to Miami for their show. She wasn't too excited about the trip, mainly because she'd have to see Sammy. She normally didn't dread having to see the gorgeous blonde, but the circumstances were different. She had a girlfriend now.

The rock star walked to the door and stepped out of the studio. She made it her mission to go and set Sammy straight on things. There would be no sex, drugs or alcohol tonight. For the first time in a long time, they were going to hang out and have some clean fun. At least that's how Ashley wanted to spend their 'date.'

The rock star picked up around the room a little before exiting. She walked up the stairs and noticed the front door open. Brown eyes watched everyone in the front yard. Everyone that was in the studio now stood outside, needing fresh air, Ashley assumed. She turned around and walked up to the 2nd floor, intent on grabbing hers and Spencer's things.

Her eyes fell on her father's bedroom door and she stood frozen. So many bad things...Her legs slowly approached it; she went to it as if in a trance. The cold shiver that ran down her spine snapped her out of it. Brown eyes stared down at her hand. It was shaking as it grasped the doorknob.

Ashley stared down at her spaghetti. It smelled delicious. She looked up at the chef sitting at the other end of the table. Cynthia was laughing at something Raife had just said. Ashley missed the joke but didn't care. Her father's words didn't exist to her anymore. She looked over at him, happy he was in a good mood despite her hate for him. Maybe he wouldn't be so bitter about the pregnancy.

Brown eyes regarded the red pasta again. She couldn't eat it. It reminded her too much of Shannon. That bitch, the 15 year old thought bitterly. In her minds eye, she saw her shannon and the driver fucking, it killed her appetite. It killed her. She hated how 2 months had passed and she still wasn't over her. She remembered experimenting with drugs for the first time not long after her departure. How good it felt to smoke marijuana. She missed the feeling. She craved it.

"I want to fly back to L.A. soon." She spoke up for the first time since dinner started. It was rare for any of them to sit down like a family and eat. Ashley didn't like it. "I'm missing Sammy's sleep over."

Raife snorted and looked at her. "She's turning into a little slut. Why would you want to spend time with her?"

The 15 year old fought back a grin as she thought of Samantha. She was the reason why Ashley was no longer a virgin. Her father would die of anger if he ever found out, that's why it was so hard for her not to open her mouth and reply 'I want to see her for the free sex and drugs.'

"She's my friend." Ashley shrugged. "I don't have too many of those and I really like hanging out with her." She slightly narrowed her eyes. "You haven't had a problem with us being friends for the last 15 years, why the sudden interest?"

"There is no interest." He snapped. "I'm just asking you a simple question. Why do you wanna spend time with a slut? I thought you'd be sick of them by now but apparently not." He smirked. "Don't tell me you're fucking them already."

"Raife!" Cynthia gasped, surprised by the exchange.

Ashley almost rolled her eyes. She hated how surprised his new wives would get after seeing them 'talk.' "I'm not fucking sluts." She answered honestly. Samantha was the only person she had slept with, and the memory was fuzzy since both of them were high when they had sex. Apart of Ashley was thankful for it, the cocaine had made her oblivious to her inexperience with sex. The other part just wanted to cry because she felt dirty and uncomfortable the morning after when she woke up alone. Samantha was out with her 'then' boyfriend and had only left Ashley a little note saying she wouldn't be back until noon. Ashley threw it away and got her stuff. She felt sick as she walked out of Samantha's house and headed toward the limo. Later that afternoon, Sammy called and things between them were back to normal. They decided to be fuck buddies and not let anyone know about it, especially Sammy's boyfriend. Ashley was cool with it. Who cares if the sex was meaningless, love was so overrated. She hated it. "I want to fly out there tomorrow, is that okay?"

Pops continued eating. "Sure. I'll get you a ticket and a ride to the airport in the morning. Give Samantha my love." His voice oozed sarcasm as he said her name. He had known her for all of her 17 years and never did like the blonde. She reminded him of a rattle snake; just something to stay away from.

Ashley stood from her seat. "I'm finished." She announced before leaving the room. The brunette went straight to her room and collapsed on the bed. She was tired and couldn't wait for tomorrow. She smiled against her pillow as her eyes drooped. Samantha would surely have cocaine. It didn't bother Ashley that that was the main reason she wanted to go see Samantha. The drug was amazing, she felt invincible with it. Her eyes closed and it wasn't long before she fell asleep with cocaine on her mind.

A fearful cry woke the brunette from her sleep. Ashley shot up and quickly got out of bed when she realized the cry belonged to Cynthia. She opened her bedroom door and followed the screams and pleas to Pops bedroom. She stood frozen at the doorway.

Brown eyes watched her father kick Cynthia's abdomen hard as she lied crying on the floor. It wasn't just one kick though, he kept doing it over and over again until the blonde eventually passed out from the pain. Ashley couldn't move as she stood there in shock and fear. Her father was screaming bull shit at her unconscious form and it was painfully obvious he was drunk by the way his words slurred.

It then the brunette noticed all of the blood pooled under Cynthia's dress. Her stomach lurched when she saw the tiny human, smaller than a new born puppy, lie dead in the middle of it. "Oh god." She breathed as realization hit. That was her little brother/ sister lying there. Pops had killed it.

Ashley turned and ran back into her room. Her hands shook violently as she tied her shoes and grabbed her back pack and cell phone. She was out the front door and running on the sidewalk in seconds. She couldn't think straight, she had no idea where she was running to, but it didn't matter. She just needed to get away from her…father.

Her legs started to burn, the pain was unnoticed by the young guitar player. Her heart was racing and her hands still shook from the adrenaline. Her legs stopped when they reached a busy gas station. Ashley walked into the store, sweaty, scared, and confused. She noticed the phone sitting on the check out counter. Should she call the cops?

"Are you okay?" One of the workers asked concerned.

Ashley's head snapped over to the man. He looked around 18 or 19 with baggy clothes and an ear ring. "I-I'm fine." Her voice shook. She wondered if he had anything she could take. He didn't look like a follower of D.A.R.E. "Listen, I have a lot of money, I'll pay you for something, anything that will get me high."

The man smiled thinking of the pain killers in his car. "Don't worry, I got something for ya. Their in my car."

Ashley followed the man to his car and accepted the pills urgently. "How much?"

"No charge." He smiled and locked his car. "I have to get back inside. Hope you feel better."

Ashley dry swallowed the tablets and pulled out her cell phone. She called information and ordered a cab. It arrived in minutes. Ashley hopped in and didn't know how to answer the driver's question. "Where to miss?"

"Um," She hesitated. "The airport."

The ride to the airport was short lived. Ashley paid the driver and got out. From there she bought a plane ticket, boarded her flight to L.A. and spent the rest of the week doing drugs and sleeping with Sammy. She didn't know what happened to Cynthia, but Pops never got in trouble for what he did. She wondered who and how many millions he paid to keep everything a secret.

Ashley didn't know how long she stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything that happened to Cynthia and her young sibling. She never cried about it, but it did sadden her. IT also added onto her hate for her father. She frowned into the darkness.

"Aly pass me the coke will ya?" Sammy kissed down her jaw and snuggled up to the naked 15 year old. Ashley did what she was told and reached over to the night stand. She snorted some of the coke before passing it on to her blonde companion.

Everything's fine, she smiled as the cocaine surged through her blood stream. The blonde's hands were also convincing her that everything was okay.

It wasn't.

--------------

Ashley stepped into the room and noticed the new carpet. Everything else was the same except for the flooring. Ashley didn't blame Pops for putting new carpet. The other one had too much blood. "God," she murmured as she stared at the spot the tiny human lied in. She felt a familiar stinging in her eyes as the memory played in her mind again.

"There you are…" Spencer stopped talking when she noticed Ashley's facial expression. It was full of sorrow and anger. "What's wrong?" She asked closing the distance between them.

The rock star met her gaze and didn't bother wiping away her tears. "It's complicated." She answered wrapping her arms around the blonde and burying her face into her neck. "I miss Ky." She murmured against moist skin. Spencer returned the hug and soothingly ran her hand up and down Ashley's back. "I've fucked everything up."

"You can fix it." Spencer pulled back and cupped her cheek, wiping away the tears with her thumb. "It'll get better soon," She placed a tender kiss on her lips. "I promise."

Ashley hugged her again, needing the contact. She felt warm and loved in Spencer's embrace, something she was starting to enjoy. "I have other brothers and sisters out there." She closed her eyes. "One of them died in this room." The words were too quiet for Spencer to hear.

"Really?" Spencer replied surprised.

"Yeah, I've never met them but I know their out there. 2 sisters and a brother. I don't know their ages or names, but I'm the oldest."

"Does Pops see them?"

Ashley shook her head. "He just sends them child support every month." The rock star pulled away from Spencer and wiped her face. "We should get our things and get out of here." She just wanted to leave. Everything was taken its toll on her exhausted body.

Spencer noticed her exhaustion and took her hand, interlaced their fingers, and walked them out the door.

--------------

The show in Miami ended well. There were no problems, making Pops a very satisfied man, and Ashley actually made it to the meet and greet. After signing her name a million times, Ashley stood after the last kid left and walked away from the booth, needing to stretch her legs. It was the first time in awhile she had done the meet and greet sober.

Standing a few feet away from the booth, Ashley waited for Spencer to finish talking with Aiden. Her mind was on where she was going to be in an hour. With Samantha Richmond, in her hotel room, eating room service while talking about this and that. It didn't sound too bad, Ashley just left out the parts where she fights Samantha off her body.

That earned the 17 year old a dreadful internal sigh.

"Oh guess where Aiden and I will be dinning tonight?" Spencer walked next to the rock star as they made their way to their dressing room.

"Hmm, Micky D's. I hear the McRib is back."

Spencer chuckled. "Nope, we're going to find a Celebration Station and eat pizza. After that we're going to buy a thousand tokens and I'm going to win you a prize."

Ashley smiled. "Sounds like fun. I really want a slinky, those things are so cool." She didn't know why she said that. The last time she saw a slinky was when she was 11. Sitting on the bed in their current hotel room, she had watched TV all night long and loved the slinky commercial. She wanted one so bad but never got one.

"I can handle that." The blonde opened the door to their dressing room and closed it once Ashley was inside. She watched the rock star collapse on the couch and quickly did the same, snuggling up to the auburn haired teen; she kissed her leisurely and didn't stop until Ashley's ring tone went off.

The rock star apologized and shifted so she could reach down and pull her cell phone out of her pocket. She flipped open the phone and put it on speaker; her hand making lazy circles on her girlfriend's back as she said "hello."

"Aly, where the hell are you? I've been dying to see you all week."

Ashley blushed at her best friend's sexy voice and didn't feel comfortable with Spencer staring at her. "I'll be there soon, don't leave your hotel room. We have to talk about a couple of things before we hang out, Sammy." Her voice was all business, except toward the end when she gasped. The blonde had chosen that moment to start nibbling down her neck.

"Sounds serious. Is everything alright?"

"F-fine." Ashley stuttered feeling a bold hand on her breast teasing an awakening nipple.

"Aly are you having sex? I've heard you talk like this before. Hmm, last time I think I was eating you out. Do you have some slut doing that to you now?"

Spencer immediately shot up and gaped at Ashley. She didn't like Samantha. Her voice oozed arrogance and Spencer could tell she was a major bitch.

Ashley placed a light kiss on Spencer's lips and mouthed 'sorry' before continuing her phone conversation. "No I'm not having sex-"

"Aly no need to lie. Did I not just hear kissing?" her voice was light and teasing. "If this groupie is worth your precious time, and talented hands, then I'd be more than happy for her to join us. It's been forever and 10 days since our last 3 way."

The rock star sighed, wishing her friend wasn't so bold. "I'll be there in a little bit Sam, bye." She closed her phone and met irritated gray eyes. "Um, she's more subtle in person."

Spencer got off the couch and walked to the door. Negative energy radiated off her overheated body and Ashley feared it. "Where are you going?" She kept her voice cool and calm, hiding the alarm she felt.

The blonde met her gaze and took a deep breath. "I'm going to find the limo. I need a bath." She answered flatly.

Ashley got off the couch and approached her. "I'll ride with you to the hotel, I need one too."

"Right, you have to get ready for that hot date."

The words almost made the rock star flinch. Jealousy and coldness filled her tone. Ashley didn't like how Spencer was acting, it made her feel guilty. "I won't go, Spence. If this is bothering you than it's bothering me too. I love you too much to be putting you through this."

Spencer felt like an ass for keeping Ashley away from her 'friend.' Who was she to keep her from doing what she wanted to do. She was her girlfriend, not her keeper, and she wasn't about to treat Ashley like a prisoner. "No, Honey its okay." She reassured taking the rock star's hand. "Go see Sammy and have fun. I trust you and I apologize for my jealous behavior. It was just awkward hearing her talk about the sexual things you two have done."

Ashley nodded in agreement. "Imagine how I feel." She mumbled with a reddened face. Embarrassment was not something she felt often, mainly because of her drug use, and the unfamiliar emotion made her feel sick. She found it strange and didn't like it. "Thank you for trusting me to be alone with her," She placed a kiss on each of the blonde's fingertips. "I promise you nothing sexual is going to happen between us."

Spencer smiled.

"I believe you, Ashley."

--------------

147, 148, 149, 150. Ashley stopped at room 150 and faced the door. Beyond the white door lied Sammy, her best friend and seductress. She debated briefly on turning back around and running. There were sure to be drugs in the room. Earlier, Ashley was pretty confident she could refuse them if offered but now wasn't so sure. A half hour ago she was in the shower with Spencer. The rock star fought back a smile as she thought of the wet naked blonde. She then remembered her promise to Spencer. No drugs, alcohol or sex. It was easy enough to agree with, at the time. Now Ashley was unsure she could keep her promise. "No," She firmly chastised herself. "I won't break it."

Lifting her arm, Ashley knocked firmly on the door. It wasn't long before Sammy opened the door and stood grinning at her, blanking her mind. It had been a couple of months since their last encounter. The blonde's hair was shorter then, Ashley was surprised by its new longer length. It spilled over her shoulders beautifully. "You look beautiful." She stated somewhat timidly. Was it okay to say that? She wondered as her thoughts drifted back to Spencer.

Green eyes sparkled as the blonde smiled at the compliment. She noticed Ashley's timid form and was amused by it. "Thank you, Aly. Come inside." She moved away and pulled the door open wider, motioning for her to come in.

Ashley did what she was told and stepped inside the suite, watching Sammy close the door. The room of course was gorgeous, big and bright despite it being dark outside; the rock star wasn't amazed by anything in the suite. Not even the hot tub in the living room fazed her. She'd seen it all before.

"Sammy-"She gasped being pushed up against the wall. The words of protest died from her lips when she felt a warm body press up against her, soft breasts could easily be felt against her own. "I love the new hair, Aly." The blonde whispered, tenderly running her fingers through soft auburn locks. Ashley nodded dumbly as she lost herself in the desire that pooled inside excited green eyes.

She felt her wrists being taken in one hand and held up above her head. Samantha used her free hand to slip under her shirt and stroke the skin on her abdomen and sides. "I've wanted you for so long, Aly." Her lips were nearly touching the rock stars as she spoke. "I've missed you." She breathed covering the mouth so close to her own.

Ashley returned the kiss, but it was short lived. With little force she broke the kiss and removed her wrists from Sammy's grasp. She moved away from the blonde and fixed her clothing. Looking up, she met puzzled green eyes apologetically. "I'm sorry Sammy, I can't do that again." She spoke calmly ignoring her racing heart. She wasn't going to deny she was turned on by the blonde's presence. There was something about Samantha Richmond that just lit her fire. It was nothing compared to what Spencer did to her.

Samantha cleared her throat and tried to comprehend what Ashley was telling her. She was more than a little surprised when Ashley broke the kiss and then embrace. It was the first time she had ever denied her advances. "Why not?" She questioned, mirroring Ashley's cool demeanor.

The rock star smiled a little. "Would you believe that I have a girlfriend?"

Green eyes widened. No matter how hard Samantha tried, she couldn't hide the frown that lined her lips. Ashley looked so happy and radiant, but her positive energy only intensified the jealousy she was feeling. "That's…new." She blew out slowly. "When did this happen?"

Ashley was taken aback by her friend's attitude. She seemed bitter. The rock star knew where she and Sammy stood. They loved each other but they weren't in love with each other. There was no reason for her to be bitter about her having a girlfriend. "Not too long ago. Are you cool with me dating someone?" She bluntly asked.

Sammy looked down and chewed on her bottom lip. Her feelings towards Ashley dating someone were confusing. She always saw Ashley as her Aly, it was strange knowing that wasn't true anymore. Her Aly was now someone else's Ashley. It hurt even though she didn't want anything more than friendship and fucking from the rock star. "Aly," She looked back up into patient brown eyes. It occurred to her then how grown up her Aly was. 17 years had passed in a blink of an eye, her younger friend was growing up – why didn't she see this coming? "I'm happy that you're happy. Do I know her?" She thought of all her friends and wondered if one of them was her girlfriend. Ashley knew all the same people she did; it wouldn't surprise her if she was dating one of her friends.

"Not personally, but you may have seen her somewhere in the media." Staring into familiar green eyes, she wondered if telling Sammy was wise. Thinking back, she realized Sammy never did anything to lose her trust. She was safe with the blonde. "It's Spencer Carlin." She responded easily, anxious to see her friend's reaction.

Samantha blinked with surprise, her face conveying the shock she felt. That was the last person she suspected. "The same Spencer Carlin dating Aiden?" Ashley nodded her confirmation. "Who else knows?"

"Only a handful of people. Everyone else still thinks she's with Aiden."

"Does he know?"

"Yeah, he's cool with it." She thought of Darcey. "I think he's dating someone else now."

"How surprising." Samantha's eyes flickered over to the other room. On the coffee table lied the party favors. Walking to the rock star, she took her hand and led her over to the couch. "I think a celebration is in order."

Both girls took a seat on the couch. Ashley noticed the drugs immediately. Brown eyes obsessively stayed glued to the lines of cocaine. Her mind was at war with itself. Her body wanted it so bad; the urge to feed its need was overwhelming. "I can't." Ashley stood up and gazed down into Samantha's surprised face. "Get that shit out of here." She pleaded softly. Her self control was slipping, only the littlest of convincing would have her on her knees in front of the coffee table, snorting every line of cocaine on the silver platter. Ashley hated that she felt so weak. She wished the drugs would disappear from both the room and her mind.

Samantha was momentarily speechless. Ashley's life revolved mostly around cocaine. Why was she denying it now? She then remembered the new addition to her friend's life. Spencer. Of course the blonde wouldn't allow her to do drugs. From what Samantha had seen on magazine covers, Spencer looked like the poster child for D.A.R.E.

The green eyed blonde sank back into the couch and crossed one leg over the other. She held Ashley's gaze and didn't miss her friend's anxiety. Her eyes traveled down the body she was once able to explore. Tanned hands trembled so lightly that she could hardly tell they were moving at all. She looked back into her face and saw fear plus worry. "Aly, just have a little. It will calm your nerves and loosen you up. What do you say?"

The word 'yes' was on the tip of her tongue. Ashley bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep it confined. Her frustration got the best of her and she angrily kicked the platter across the room; spilling the cocaine onto the floor. The white grains lied randomly across the hard wood. "Dammit Sammy, it's hard enough without the shit sitting right in front of me!" She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. The stinging in her eyes was back and she knew it was only a matter of time before she started crying. "I'm trying to quit and it's so fucking hard, I'm constantly at war with myself for cocaine and my body screams for it almost every second of the day. I hate feeling like this, It's like I've lost myself to this drug and I can't get back." She continued staring into her friend's eyes and fought back shouting 'I hate you.'

Ashley looked a mess standing outside Samantha's bedroom. The maid had let her in minutes before, not questioning her horrible appearance, to her relief. The 15 year old was miserable and could careless about herself. She was glad her father gave her a two day vacation. She needed it.

Samantha opened the door and gasped at Ashley's appearance. Her wild brunette waves were a tangled mess, her clothes tattered and obviously overused, looking like rags. Her face didn't look much better. There were dark circle under her eyes and it obvious she had been crying. "Come here, Aly." The blonde opened her arms and engulfed the small guitar player in a warm embrace; allowing her to cry on her shoulder.

Some time later they sat on her bed. Ashley sitting cross-legged in front of Sammy while she combed her hair. She didn't say anything about shannon or her misery. She didn't plan on it either. Sammy on the other hand wouldn't stop talking about her own life. She had just turned 17 and was a senior in high school. Ashley felt a pang of jealousy every time she talked about school. The 15 year old would kill to be normal like her and go to school.

Her hair was finished and Ashley turned around on the bed, facing her friend. The pajamas Samantha had given her after her bath were very comfortable. She could sleep forever in the warm material. "Thanks for letting me crash here." She broke her sitting position and lied on her side. "Hotels get boring after awhile."

Samantha stared down into her friend's brown eyes. She looked so sad, the blonde wanted to make it better. There was only one solution. "No problem, Aly. I love you and wish you would come by more often." A slender arm reached out and began stroking clean brunette waves. "I know you're not going to tell me, so I'm not going to ask what's wrong. I have some stuff that will make you feel better." She smiled at the curiosity that crossed over her friend's face. She knew Ashley hated drugs, only because her father used them, so never bothered sharing her shit with her. But today was different. Ashley was vulnerable and depressed. She wouldn't decline the chance to feel better. "It's nothing major. Just something to erase your problems."

Ashley didn't need coaxing. Her vow to never do drugs was forgotten. Forgetting Shannon was her main priority in life and far more important than some stupid vow. The rock star spent the rest of the night trying everything Samantha had to offer. Cocaine was her favorite. The high made her first time with Sammy, with anyone, the best experience of her young life. She fell asleep wanting more.

Samantha stood from the couch and approached the auburn haired teen. "I'm so sorry, Aly." She cupped her tanned cheek and began wiping away her tears. "If I would have known – I would have never brought the drugs, I swear Ashley. I love you too much to see you hurt this much. It's killing me." She strainly whispered. She was fighting back her own tears. Her Aly looked tortured, vulnerable, and helpless. She wanted to make things better but didn't know how. This time was different from the others.

Ashley leaned into the warm touch and pulled Samantha in for a hug. Nestling her head against a pale shoulder, the rock star soaked up the comfort and allowed the blonde to gently rock her. Her pained eyes stayed glued to the wall as Samantha whispered calming words into her ear. She didn't blame Samantha for her addiction. There was only one person responsible for the mess she was in and that was herself. "How's college life?" She pulled away from the blonde and caught her green eyes.

Samantha wasn't surprised by the abrupt change in subject. Ashley had a knack for changing subjects when things got too intense. "Wonderful." She turned around and walked to the bar, "Would you like something to drink?" Ashley declined as she poured herself a glass of wine. "How's the music biz?" She took a sip of her drink and shook her head. "Don't answer that, it's all Daddy talks about."

Ashley chuckled and felt herself loosen up a bit. "Actually, I think I'll take that drink."

--------------

Spencer waited for the green light to turn on before taking her card and opening the door. The night had been fun. She and Aiden did some bonding and got photographed by the media. That mission was accomplished, and then later on she won Ashley's slinky, her greatest achievement for the night. "Anyone here?!" She called out curiously. Getting no answer, Spencer placed the slinky and her other things on a nearby table as she headed toward the bedroom. She was tired from the night's events. It felt like 2 A.M. instead of 10.

The gray eyed blonde took a quick shower and then dried herself off before getting into bed. She enjoyed sleeping naked, the feeling was incredible and comfortable.

Gray eyes were just starting to droop when her cell phone went off. Spencer reached for it on the nightstand and smiled when the small screen read 'Mom.'

"Mother, what a surprise. How have you been?"

"Wonderful Spencer, how is the lime light treating you?"

Spencer smiled at her mother's neutral tone. It was obvious she was upset about something. "What did I do now? I swear I've been good."

Paula sighed. "You haven't done anything wrong sweetheart. It's just I would appreciate hearing your lovely voice every once in awhile. You are my only daughter and I'm your old lonely mother, I wish you would take a couple of minutes out of your day to keep this old goat company."

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Mother you know you look amazing for your age and you're not lonely. Every one in town knows who you are and our house is never free from guests. You know there is always someone there."

"But they don't take your place Spencer. I wish you would give up this little career thing and come back home. I don't care if you go back to school or not, I just want my little girl safe in her room where I can watch over her."

Spencer rolled over on her back and watched the ceiling fan spin. "Mom, I'll be there soon." She thought of Ashley's proposal and wondered how her Mom would take her moving out. "I might even bring a friend home."

"Really? And who is this friend?"

"Ashley-"

"Davies." She finished abruptly. "The lesbian with the drug problem." Her mother paused. "Spencer have you been going to church? I hope you've had time for God."

"Sorry mother. I've been busy-"

"Too busy for God Spencer?" Her mother's tone was light and filled more with concern than anger. "Honey, you're always busy. I'm worried the stress is going to get you doing dangerous things like drugs or alcohol."

"I know better than that, Mother and I promise you I'm okay and I'm going to stay okay so stop worrying about me. I'm sure you have bigger things on your plate. How's the ER?"

"I don't want to talk about that Spencer. You know how it is." Spencer nodded. Her mother worked the night shift at the hospital and had to deal with bloody messes from accidents like car wrecks. "Honey your father wants to talk with you."

"Put him on."

--------------

The room was spinning but Ashley didn't mind. Her one glass of wine soon turned into a couple of more. She now cradled a bottle, instead of a glass, of wine in her lap. "I fucking love you Sammy," She slurred and crawled over to her friend who was sitting at the other end of the couch.

Samantha was in the same condition as Ashley. She held her liquor better than Ashley but she was drunk just the same. There was a video camera in her hand and she held it pretty sturdy despite her intoxicated state. It was something they always did while drunk or high. Take out a camera and film themselves acting up. "No baby, I don't think you do love me." She zoomed down into Ashley's bloodshot eyes and allowed the rock star to stroke up and down her inner thigh. "I think you love Spencer Carlin." She laughed as Ashley abruptly sat up and placed her hands in her lap. A guilty expression etched over her smooth face. "Forgot about her for a second, didn't ya?"

Ashley groaned and flopped back down on the couch. Her back made contact with the leather cushion while her eyes stayed glued to Samantha. "Maybe." She admitted frankly.

Samantha tsked and moved her body along hers. A blonde head rested against the rock stars shoulder. Sammy held the camera above them and continued filming. "Does Spencer love you too, Aly. Hmm, does she love you more than me?"

The words were spoken huskily near her ear, they made Ashley shiver. She couldn't help her body's reaction to the gorgeous blonde. Her voice alone sparked her arousal. It was 10x worst when she was intoxicated. "Spencer loves me very much." She smiled and turned her head, meeting Sammy's drunken gaze. "No comment on the second part."

Samantha leaned forward and briefly brushed her lips against Ashley's. "No one will ever love you more than me." She pulled back and looked back into the camera's lenses. "Hear that America. Ashley and Spencer are in love and will be until Aiden decides to kill my little rock star." She giggled uncontrollably and placed another kiss on Ashley's cheek. "Such a bad girl fucking around with straight people." She nipped lightly at her earlobe.

Ashley grinned as her eyes closed. "I do it all of the time. Especially to you."

"I know how well you fuck around with me." She glanced back into the camera. "What everyone else wants to know is how well you fuck Spencer Carlin."

The rock star opened her eyes but didn't focus on anything. "Why do they care?" She murmured confusedly.

Samantha smiled. "Because this is some hot shit baby. How often does a girl like Spencer leave her boyfriend for someone like you. You're sexy baby, but not exactly the type to bring home to mommy and daddy. You must fuck her good." Another thought occurred to her, "How good does she fuck you?"

Ashley stiffened and felt uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I don't want to talk about this anymore." She looked into the camera and wondered why she allowed the conversation to be recorded. "Turn it off." She commanded while sitting up.

Green eyes narrowed and watched the auburn haired teen rub her temples. She didn't like this new Ashley. Everything they did bothered her. "Aly," She turned off the camera and set it aside while sitting up next to the 17 year old. "I don't see what's wrong. I mean we always have fun with the camera."

Ashley looked at her. "We talk shit about groupies. Spencer is not a groupie and I'm not going to talk about her like she is one." She stood up and fought hard to keep her balance. "I have to go. It's getting late." Pulling out her cell phone, Ashley noticed it was close to midnight. "I don't want to worry Spencer."

Samantha sat back and eyed her friend. She hated how Spencer controlled her Aly. It was sickening. "Yes, wouldn't want to worry miss wonderful." Her sarcasm was not lost on Ashley, but she decided to change the subject before the rock star could question her jealousy. "Do you have a cigarette? I need to do something and cocaine is obviously not an option."

Shaking her head, Ashley eyed the silver platter. "Sorry about that." She met her disappointed gaze. "I'll make it up to you somehow."

Samantha smiled coyly at the words. "I love the sound of that. Come over here and we can think of something."

Ashley laughed. "I'm leaving Sammy, I'll call you in the morning."

Samantha pouted like a child and held her arms out to the rock star. "Don't I least get a hug?"

Ashley closed the distance between them and fell into the blonde's arms. "Is this better?" She asked against her neck.

Samantha ran her hands up under Ashley's shirt and caressed her naked skin. "It'd be a lot better if you were naked and squirming under me."

Pulling back, brown eyes met green. "Can't always get what you want." She allowed her friend's warm hand to cup her cheek and pull her in for a tender kiss. Their lips stayed locked briefly and Ashley placed a final kiss on her cheek before getting up and leaving.

--------------

Wearing a white 'my chemical romance' shirt and black jeans, Ashley quickly ran her hands through her hair and popped a piece of gum into her mouth. Mint flavor to kill the taste of wine that stained her breath. She didn't want Spencer to know she had been drinking, thinking it would lead her to asking about the other parts of her promise. Answering about the drugs wouldn't be too hard; the sex on the other hand would be tricky. No she didn't have sex with Samantha but they did kiss a couple of times. She wondered if kissing was considered being unfaithful.

Opening the door to their suite, Ashley walked in and silently closed the door behind her. Her eyes scanned the dark room for her lover. To her relief, Spencer was nowhere to be seen. She pulled out her cell phone and saw it was 12:45. Still too early for her to call it a night. The couch would be a good place to kill some time, she decided while leaning back against the cushions. Her hand ran down to her jean pocket and she pulled out a new box of cigarettes. She stuck one of the skinny white sticks into her mouth and lit it up.

It felt good sitting in the dark room by herself. She relaxed and took lazy drags off her cigarette while thinking about whatever came to mind. She wanted to sober up more before facing her lover. The odds of Spencer being sound asleep when she joined her were high, but Ashley didn't want to take any chances. A confrontation about her night was the last thing she wanted to deal with at the moment.

There was a light rap at the door and Ashley fought back a groan. Her peace and quiet time was over and life was back to being chaotic and complicated. Standing, the rock star walked to the door and opened it. She was surprised to see her cousin standing there with a sad expression on his face. There was a bit of stubble on his chin and the clothes he wore shocked her. They were way out of character. He normally dressed nice, wearing expensive shirts with nice jeans. Today he was sporting a Nike shirt and sweat pants. Black converse shoes covered his feet. "Can I come in?" He asked quietly.

Ashley wanted to say 'no' but couldn't. Her cousin looked like shit and she wanted to know what was wrong. She opened the door wider and allowed her cousin easy access into her suite. She closed the door and leaned against, eyeing A.J. curiously.

A.J's expression stayed sad as he gazed into brown eyes the mirrored his own. "It's Dad, he's really sick. I'm worried, Ash. W-what if he dies?" He did everything to keep from crying but he knew it was only a matter of time before tears fell.

Ashley kept smoking, her demeanor expressed how she felt about the situation. She could careless. "You came here to waste my time with this shit?" At his shocked expression she smiled. "We're related Ashton, but that doesn't mean I care about your feelings. I hate you just as much as I hate him. If you came here to cry on my shoulder than you wasted your time." She walked away from the door and went back to the couch.

A.J. stared incredulously at her. He knew Ashley didn't have the best relationship with Pops but that was still her father. She had to care a little if he lived or died. And then it hit him. She must not know how severe the situation is. "It's bad, he's on so many different medications for his heart. He may need surgery -- Ashley we could lose him -- how could you not care?" There was a trace of anger in his voice, Ashley ignored it.

"It's easy not caring about the son of a bitch." She took a longer drag off her cigarette and wished she had coke. It would make dealing with everything so much easier. She looked into his eyes and didn't miss the disappointment pooling in his dark brown orbs. She felt angry, what was he expecting from her? Sympathy? Stupid words like 'everything will be alright?' She had to laugh at that. "Ashton, sorry to say but the truth is I could careless if he lived or died. Go find some cocaine, you'll feel better." She grinned. "I promise."

He shook his head in disgust, "That would be the difference between you and I. I can deal without drugs." He clenched his fists angrily. "Fuck Ashley, cocaine is the reason why Pops is sick. I'm never touching that shit again. Good thing I don't do more than a line every couple of weeks." He smiled. "You on the other hand….I would be worried if I were you."

Ashley continued smoking. "If the cocaine doesn't kill me the cancer will." Her eyes flickered away from her relative's face. "I'm not scared of death, but thank you for the concern."

A.J. snorted. "I'm going to be honest here Ash. I came in here willing to comfort you through this news, despite our fucked up relationship. We're family whether you like it or not Ashley and I'm so fucking tired of us not getting along." He shook his head. "But now I see you and Pops have the sickness. Your hearts are too damaged to function right. At least Pops has medicine to help him out. I wish I could say the same for you. But I can't because you're never going to grow up and quit being a selfish little bitch."

Ashley watched him turn and walk out the door. She leaned forward and angrily put out her cigarette. She hated A.J. more than ever and couldn't wait for the tour to end. Getting away from her 'family' was number one on her list of things to do for the holidays. "Fuck them," she stood up and walked to the back room. The door was slightly open and she prayed Spencer didn't hear a word of her conversation with A.J.

Undressing was her main priority when she entered the room. Her clothes smelled like smoke. She hated the smell and mentally noted to throw away the tainted outfit. Naked, she quietly walked into the bathroom and went straight to the shower.

--------------

Spencer stared into the darkness listening to the shower. She heard everything A.J. had to say to Ashley and vice versa. The pain in A.J.'s voice was evident, and unfortunately, the carelessness in Ashley's was also easy to detect. Spencer hated that Ashley didn't care her father was sick. She wasn't stupid, Pops and Ashley obviously didn't get along but that was still her father.

Rolling over on her back, Spencer looked at the bathroom door and sighed. Ashley was far too cold to A.J. He sounded so sad – why would she suggest cocaine so easily? That made her upset. There was no teasing or playfulness in her voice. It sounded like she seriously wanted A.J. to snort the deadly drug.

Spencer hated the side of Ashley she had just witnessed. Did it make her love her any less? No, but she would discuss these feelings with her lover. She wanted to understand Ashley's bitterness towards her father and cousin. She didn't want to pry it out of the rock star but there was no other option, unless Ashley wanted to talk about it on her own, which she highly doubted.

Her thoughts completely stopped when the bathroom door opened. Ashley stood staring at her from the doorway. The rock star's facial expression was one of expecting. What was she expecting? Spencer wondered while staring into her lover's eyes. They stared for a couple of minutes and then Ashley shivered and decided to put some clothes on. Spencer watched her silently walk over to her suitcase and open it.

The tension in the room was horrible. Ashley just wanted to walk out and find Sammy, snort cocaine, and be happy. But that wasn't going to happen.

Staring down at her wardrobe, she picked out the first things she came across. A red T shirt and boxer shorts. Her eyes didn't fail to notice Spencer's naked form, but she was cold and couldn't fathom sleeping naked. Plus, she felt it would be awkward sleeping naked with Spencer. Things were just too tense. She also had a feeling the blonde wouldn't want her in the same room when she found out about Sammy and their brief kisses.

Avoiding the gray eyes on her, Ashley crawled into bed and covered her tired body with the large comforter. The mattress was heaven, but Ashley still had trouble falling asleep. She lied on her side, her back facing Spencer, and wasn't comfortable at all. It was her guilt that kept her from sleeping. The more she thought about her visit with Sammy the more guilt she felt.

Her body froze when she heard the bed shift. She wondered where Spencer was going but didn't bother lifting her head up to see. Her eyes were content on the wall.

Minutes later Spencer got back on the bed and moved over to her lover. She knew Ashley wasn't asleep. Her body was noticeably rigid and there was something obviously wrong with her. "I have something for you." She sat on her knees next to her lover's prone body. Ashley rolled over on her back and Spencer smiled down at her. The look on Ashley's face when she saw the toy in her hand was worth more than a million dollars. Her dull brown eyes instantly lit up and a dazzling smile spread over her lips. "30 tickets for this bad boy."

Ashley sat up and accepted the slinky being offered to her. She laughed while playing with it, "Wow, their as cool as I thought they'd be." She looked over at Spencer and blushed at the amused look on her face. "Thanks, I've always wanted one of these."

Spencer leaned over and placed a light kiss on her lips. "I'm glad you like it." She sat back on her knees and stared into her lover's eyes. The happiness on Ashley's face soon turned to nervousness. Spencer knew she was hiding something. She just didn't know what and feared the worst. "How was your night?"

Ashley turned away from her girlfriend and leaned forward. Placing the slinky on the night stand, she brought her knees up to her chest and hugged her legs. "It was okay. I had fun with Sammy." She kept her eyes on the red comforter as she spoke. "We had a little to drink and there were drugs but I didn't take anything."

Ashley saying no to drugs was major. Spencer was proud that she didn't give into temptation. "That's great Ashley." She chuckled at the confused look her lover gave her. "I'm proud that you didn't touch the drugs. I know it probably wasn't easy for you," She leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek. "I promise things will get easier." She assumed the reason for Ashley's uneasiness was her addiction. Maybe she was craving cocaine after seeing it at Samantha's house.

The amount of pride and joy on Spencer's face did nothing to ease her guilt. "Spencer I fucked up." She looked away from loving gray eyes and collapsed back against the bed, using her arm to cover her eyes. "I broke two parts of the promise. I drank wine and gave into Sammy's kisses."

"And how many kisses were there?"

Ashley removed her arm and looked at her. "Two, a hello and goodbye kiss."

Spencer pursed her lips in thought. "I'm okay with that. As long as they weren't make out sessions."

"They weren't," The rock star reassured, sitting up on her knees in front of Spencer. She eyed the blonde's naked body and grinned when she met her gray eyes. "Were you expecting some lovin?" She teased. "Or did you and Aiden just get finished?"

Spencer grabbed a pillow and threw it playfully at Ashley. The rock star apologized and promised to behave. Spencer moved forward and pushed her on her back, covering her lean tanned body, she dipped her head and started kissing her soft pink lips, moaning when Ashley's mouth opened, allowing their tongues to explore. She began teasing her lover's tongue ring as their breasts stroked one another, causing great sensations in both of them. "How do you feel about church?" She asked while pulling away from Ashley's lips.

"Huh," was the first thing that came out of Ashley's mouth. "Did you ask me about church?" She wondered while playing with her lover's blonde hair. At Spencer's yeah, she laughed and shook her head. "Why is god on your mind while we're making out?"

Spencer leaned forward. "My mother called earlier and told me to go to church." She answered directly into Ashley's ear, nibbling gently at her earlobe. "Go with me?"

"Sure," She husked feeling bold fingertips stroke the skin above her waistband. "When do we leave?"

Pausing, Spencer pulled back and looked into her girlfriend's eyes. "Are you serious? Or is this the wine talking?"

Ashley grinned and urged the blonde down for another kiss. "I'm completely sure I want to go to church with you."

Spencer dipped her head and showered soft lips with a series of kisses. Her hand slipped into the waistband of Ashley's boxer shorts and began caressing wet naked flesh. "Expectin some loving?" She asked between kisses.

Ashley hummed her answer while sticking her thumbs into her shorts. With Spencer's help, she managed to remove her shorts, shirt and bra.

Spencer leaned over her naked body and eyed it appreciatively, Ashley didn't waste anytime urging her back down, enjoying the weight of her body against her. "I-I want to go slow." Guiding the hand resting on her center up, she smiled at Spencer's confused look and released her hand.

"Slow?" Spencer questioned, whisking away strands of auburn hair covering her lover's face.

"Slow." Ashley repeated running her index finger along her spine. "I know it's going to be hard since I'm SOOOOOO irresistible." She grinned at the look her girlfriend gave her.

"You're so full of yourself Ashley Davies," Spencer felt the hold on her back tighten as she cupped her lover's face, her thumb caressing a smooth cheek. Spencer was amazed at how smooth the skin on Ashley's face was. "Did you ever suffer from acne?" She wondered aloud.

Ashley was a bit taken aback by the subject change. "I had it pretty bad when I was 13 and dealt with it then." She kissed the thumb lightly tracing her lips. "I was prescribed medication and I wash my face daily."

"You're skin is so soft," Spencer murmured replacing her wandering digits with her lips. Ashley closed her eyes as Spencer's lips peppered her with tiny kisses around her eyes, down her cheeks and at the corner of her lips. "Is this slow enough for you?" she whispered before their lips met gently. The kiss was sweet and unrushed, Spencer took her time, enjoying Ashley's tongue ring as they moved together. She felt Ashley's hands caress her back, her touch warm, tender, but firm, she broke the kiss and nuzzled deeply into short auburn hair. "I'll love you forever, Ashley." She whispered into her skin.

Ashley understood the muffled words and smiled sadly. "I wish I could be better for you, Spencer." The words were spoken too softly to be heard. Ashley felt Spencer pull back and stared into her dark gray eyes. "I love you too."

Full lips kissed along her smooth jaw, up to her ear, and whispered softly to her. "You've been irresistible since day 1." She brushed along the curve of Ashley's breast. "But it's different now," she mused, brushing her thumb across a taunt nipple. "You're body isn't enough for me."

Ashley's breathing was starting to uneven. The blonde's teasing hands and warm breath over her skin was taken its toll on her. "What more do you want?" She breathed, moving her head to the side, she felt the blonde's lips and teeth on her throat, nibbling and kissing down to her chest.

"You've already given it to me." Spencer kissed the skin above her heart, lingering there, she enjoyed the feeling of Ashley's heart pounding against her lips.

Feeling a warm mouth close over her sensitive bud, Ashley closed her eyes and was unable to contain the little noises of pleasure emanating from her. Everything the blonde did felt good.

Spencer could feel her body respond to Ashley's moans and gasps. They were driving her crazy but she ignored her own need and focused on Ashley. She wanted to make her feel loved, safe, and pleasured. She knew the rock star's day had been hectic and wanted to make her forget about her problems and feel good, even if the feeling was only temporary,

Releasing the hardened bud, Spencer moved up and stared hungrily into dazed brown eyes. "Ready for me rock star?" she husked as her hand teased the sensitive skin on her inner thigh. Ashley inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Spencer dipped her head and they kissed urgently. Ashley ran her fingertips all over Spencer's arms, shoulders, hips and thighs as the blonde further deepened the kiss. Ashley felt the fingers on her inner thigh move closer to her need and broke the kiss. "Fuck Spencer," she breathed reaching down to take her lover's wrist. "Just fuck me already." She pleaded.

Spencer watched the rock star's face in awe as she guided her hand between her legs, her lover sucking in a shaky breath as her fingers slid into her wetness. "oh god Spencer."

The blonde leaned forward and slid her arm under Ashley's shoulders, drawing her closer as she entered her gently. Ashley took shaky harsh breaths as the fingers inside her began to move in a slow motion. Her fingers dug painfully into Spencer's wrist every time the blonde accidentally brushed against her clit. Panting, she opened her eyes and stared into loving gray eyes. "Kiss me, please." She breathed softly, needing to feel the blonde's lips on her own.

Spencer didn't hesitate dipping her head and kissing Ashley deeply. Their tongues danced as Ashley's hips rose to meet her every thrust. They moved together smoothly and slowly, enjoying every inch of each other.

Spreading her legs wider, Ashley urgently tried to increase the depth of penetration, her body craving a deeper touch. Spencer got the message and moved deeper and faster into Ashley, loving the feel of her slippery flesh against her fingers, she smiled when Ashley broke their kiss and roughly held her tighter. "Oh fuck," She moaned. "You feel so damn good."

Spencer sucked her earlobe. "So do you baby." She purred in her ear, rubbing her clit softly.

Ashley turned her head and their mouths joined again, Spencer sucking erotically on Ashley's tongue. Moaning, Ashley's hand moved down and she clawed down Spencer's back, forcing Spencer to thrust harder.

Spencer could feel the muscles begin tighten around her fingers and it wasn't long before she felt Ashley's body go completely rigid. She randomly placed kisses on her face and neck while using her thumb to gently stroke her lover's ultra sensitive clit. The hand on her forearm tightened its grip as Ashley cried out, a great explosion of sensation washing through her body, drowning her every nerve.

The rock star slowly began to relax and eventually released the blonde's arm. Her eyes stayed glued to the gray staring into hers. Spencer stroked her damp auburn locks as she recovered from her orgasm. The emotion she was feeling was too great for words. Ashley lazily wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck, urging her down for another kiss. "I love you so much Spencer." She kissed her again, longer and firmer this time, "You take all my pain away." She added before kissing her again.

Spencer broke the kiss and stared questionably down at Ashley. She sounded sad, but grateful, it made her wonder. "What's hurting you, Ashley?" She inquired softly.

The curiosity that spread over the blonde's features was not lost on the rock star. She groaned and closed her eyes. "Please don't do this now, Spencer." She begged, regretting the last thing she said. "Forget I said anything."

"Is it Pops sickness? I know that must be hard on you-" She stopped talking once she saw brown eyes open and stare almost murderously into her eyes.

"We're not talking about this shit." She stated dryly, pulling the blonde down for another kiss and clenching her jaw in frustration when she resisted. "Fuck Spencer what does Pops have to do with anything?"

Spencer didn't understand Ashley's anger, but didn't fear it either. She knew it was a touchy subject and Ashley was still new at expressing her feelings. She was understanding and didn't give into her own frustration. "Your father is sick Ashley, that has to hurt a little." Gray eyes widened when the rock star laughed bitterly.

"It doesn't hurt at all knowing the bastard's sick." Ashley ignored the shocked expression on Spencer's face and continued. "He could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a fuck. Can we forget about this now?" she asked impatiently.

Spencer gawked openly at the rock star. She was having a hard time not believing Ashley. It worried her. How could someone be so cold towards their father? "You can't mean that Ashley," Her voice was full of hopefulness, begging the rock star to relieve her mind and admit that she cared about Pops and didn't want him to die. Ashley disappointed her.

"I mean it Spencer." She spoke directly into the blonde's eyes, not missing the disappointment on her face. It added onto her frustration. She hated that Spencer saw her as a heartless bitch. It made her angry. "You don't know shit about anything." She spat before urging the blonde off her and getting out of bed.

Spencer watched Ashley leave the room and sighed. "Dammit Ashley," before collapsing against the pillows.

--------------

The knocking on the door woke the blonde. Groggily, Samantha rolled out of bed and headed to the door. "Fuck," She murmured grasping the door handle. "What's your fucking-"She stopped talking when her gaze landed on a frowning Ashley. "What's up?" She asked curiously.

Ashley sighed and pushed passed her, entering the room. "Nothing is up." She lied, crossing her arms over her chest. "I just needed some space." She added nonchalantly.

Samantha paused and then closed the door. "Space from Ms. Perfect?" She faced the rock star and met her gaze. Ashley looked tired and obviously needed a drink.

Ashley shrugged. "I guess." She looked around and stopped to stare at the couch. "Can I crash on your couch?"

Samantha smiled. "I'd rather you sleep with me in bed, but I highly doubt you'd agree to that."

Ashley didn't agree with Sammy. Instead she chewed on her bottom lip and smiled. "Actually I would love to sleep with you tonight." She laughed at her friend's shocked look. "I need a friend." She shrugged. "And maybe a bit of TLC."

Samantha grinned. "I can do TLC." She walked over and took the rock star's hand, leading them to the bedroom.

--------------

Green eyes opened upon hearing shuffling around the room. Samantha groggily sat up and watched Ashley look around for her pants. "Are you aware that it's," she looked at her alarm clock and then met brown eyes again. "4:45 AM."

Ashley walked over to the bed and crawled on her hands and knees to the blonde. "I have to go, Sammy." She placed a light kiss on her lips. "Thanks for the TLC."

Samantha chuckled and lied back in bed. "Oh Aly, it would have been more enjoyable if we had sex." She closed her eyes and thought back to their hand holding. Their TLC session was lame. "Maybe next time you sleep with me I can convince you to be a bit more…..social."

Ashley shook her head and got off the bed again. "That makes one of us." She grabbed her jeans and slipped them on, aware of the green eyes watching her. "I'm Spencer's, hopefully for life." She pulled up her zipper and buttoned her pants.

Samantha fought back an eye roll. "Honey she's obviously not that great if you need space from her." She thought a moment. "You never told me what that was about."

Ashley grabbed her socks and plopped down on the edge of the bed. "Pops is sick and it bothers her that I don't give a fuck."

Samantha chuckled. "Poor little farm girl probably thinks all families are loving and caring. Heaven forbid if a daughter despises her father. Why does she give a fuck about your feelings towards Pops? It's none of her fucking business."

Ashley paused before looking at her friend. "I have to go. I'll call you sometime today." The rock star stood up and slipped on her shoes, not saying anything more to Samantha, she opened the door and left the room.

--------------

The light turned green and the hand on the door knob turned, opening the door. Ashley slipped into the suite quietly, not wanting to wake her lover. She didn't know what she was going to say to Spencer. All she knew was she missed the blonde immensely and wanted to be in her bed, not Samantha's.

Ashley saw her the second she walked into the room. It was hard to miss the naked blonde sleeping. She slept on her stomach, head facing away from Ashley. Her arms encircled the pillow she slept on and her hair covered half of her face. The rock star relaxed slightly and approached the bed.

The mattress made no sound as she crawled over to her lover. The comforter stopped at the small of her back, exposing all of her upper back. Ashley was in awe as she stared at the expanse of smooth skin. The urge to touch her lover was overwhelming, she gave into it by running her index finger up her spine, loving the feel of her warm skin against her fingertip. She continued running her finger along her spine for quite some time, the blonde never stirred so Ashley decided to broaden her horizons.

Moving down the bed, Ashley hovered over the blonde's body and began sensually kissing up her spine. Her brown eyes closed as her nose began to lightly nuzzle her flawless skin. Ashley was in heaven and only stopped when she reached her lover's neck.

Leaning forward, her lips grazed her ear as she spoke softly. "I love you," Out of the corner of her eye she saw a slight smile cross her lover's lips. "I'm sorry for being such an ass." She added when she realized Spencer was awake.

Gray eyes opened and stared at the balled fist in front of her. Ashley's knuckles were white with strain, she moved her hand down and covered it. "Relax baby." She murmured before rolling over on her back. Staring into her lover's brown eyes, she noticed how tense and nervous she was. "Lie down, I want to hold you."

Ashley hesitated but eventually eased herself literally on top of her lover. Nestling her cheek against the warm skin on Spencer's upper chest, Ashley sighed her contentment and wrapped her arms around Spencer like the blonde had done to the pillow. "Are you mad at me?" Her voice was as small as a child's, Spencer responded by running her fingers through her auburn hair, swaying Ashley's eyes closed.

"I've been more worried than mad." She ran her free hand up a tanned back and began messaging the skin between her shoulder blades. "Where have you been?"

Ashley yawned as she started to answer. "I slept with Sammy." She yawned again. "All we did was sleep. I promise."

Spencer bent down and kissed the top of her head. "Go to sleep Ashley. You sound tired."

Ashley nuzzled against her warm smooth skin, relishing their closeness. "I love you Spencer." She mumbled on the verge of unconsciousness.

Spencer also closed her eyes. "Love you too."

--------------

Rachael stood staring at the bed. After entering the suite, she had noticed the bedroom door wide open. Pops had sent her to wake Ashley and Spencer. Their cell phones were off and she got a busy signal every time she called their room. She didn't mind, It was easy for her to get a spare key. Ashley preferred her to enter the suite and then wake her, rather than knocking. The assistant wasn't sure if Ashley still wanted that. Staring at the two cuddling girls in bed, she didn't know who, or how, to wake them.

"Ms. Davie-" Gray eyes opened before she could say anything else. She didn't stammer or hesitate speaking to Spencer. She was used to the idea of Ashley and Spencer being together. "Pops wants both of you down in 10 minutes for breakfast." She explained mechanically.

Spencer didn't feel panicked or uncomfortable. Having Rachael see them wrapped in one another's arms should have freaked her out, but to her surprise, it didn't. "We'll be there." She spoke softly, not wanting to startle her tired lover. "Thank you, Rachael." She flashed her a small smile.

"Anytime, Ms. Carlin."

Spencer watched Rachael leave before settling her gaze on her sleeping lover. Ashley's face was free of worry and distress as she slumbered peacefully. Lifting her hand, she stroked her lover's smooth face, urging her to wake up. "Time to get up baby." She cooed softly, not wanting to wake Ashley too nosily.

Feeling the fingers on her face, Ashley scrunched her face up in detest and groaned. "I'm not ready to be awake."

Spencer kissed the skin on her forehead. "I know baby but Rachael was just in here and we need to get up." She continued to stroke her face and only stopped when Ashley tilted her head up and opened her brown eyes. "You'll feel better after a shower and some breakfast."

"Promise?"

Spencer smiled at her. "I promise."

The two reluctantly got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. Spencer turned on the shower while Ashley undressed quietly next to her. She turned her head and watched her lover undress while waiting for the water to warm. Gray eyes noticed how distracted Ashley looked standing there staring at the floor. "What's on your mind?"

Ashley's head snapped up and she met gray eyes. "Nothing." She said quietly. It wasn't really a lie. She was feeling tired and distant, and surprisingly, the urge to sit somewhere alone was overwhelming. "I'm just tired." She added above a whisper.

Spencer looked at her carefully. She seemed so withdrawn and quiet, Spencer accepted her 'I'm tired' explanation and held out her hand, relieved when the rock star accepted it. "The shower will make you feel better." Ashley nodded hopping Spencer was right. She didn't like how she was feeling and would do anything to make the weird emotion go away.

Goosebumps erupted on tanned arms as Ashley stepped into the warm water. Sighing, her brown eyes closed as she absorbed the comfort the hands on her shoulders were providing. They lightly messaged her tense muscles; the feeling was soothing enough to lure her to sleep. "Want me to wash your hair?" She heard behind her. Ashley opened her eyes and faced the blonde. She was way too drowsy for Spencer's scalp message. Knowing how soothing the blonde's hands could be, she decided to decline.

"I'll do you first." She grabbed the shampoo bottle and squirted some of its contents onto her hand. Spencer turned around and enjoyed Ashley's gentle hands. They stayed in the shower a good fifteen minutes and then hurriedly dressed. Ashley opened the suite's front door and was glad to see a couple of rodies standing outside. "Bags in the back room." She walked past them and then stopped in the massive hallway, waiting patiently for Spencer.

It didn't take long for the blonde to join her. Ashley slipped on her sunglasses and stuck her hands in her pockets before walking toward the elevator. She felt Spencer walk closely behind, from what she heard the blonde was obviously texting someone. That reminded her to pull out her own cell phone and call Samantha.

Spencer smiled as she replied to the message she had gotten from an old family friend. One of her closest girlfriends was now engaged. The blonde was truly happy for her friend and was looking forward to the wedding.

Hearing Ashley's voice made her look up. The rock star was walking casually while talking to Sammy. Spencer felt somewhat jealous, but ignored most of her irrational feelings. So what if Ashley had a strong friendship with one of her fuck buddies? The thought did nothing to help the blonde.

She decided to keep out of Ashley's conversation and look around. She still walked directly behind the rock star and couldn't keep her gaze off her lover's butt. She thought it looked very good in the tight black jeans she was wearing. The rock star also wore a white shirt under a tight black hoodie. White Nike's covered her feet, matching the white studded belt she wore.

Quickening her strides, Spencer walked along side her lover and entered the elevator. She watched Ashley's slender finger hit the lobby button and stood casually next to her. The rock star ended her phone call and placed her phone back in her back pocket. She quickly recoiled when Spencer tried to take her hand. "There could be cameras." She explained quietly, defensively folding her arms across her chest, she looked away from the blonde and stared at the carpet.

Spencer found Ashley's behavior strange. It alarmed her but she didn't want to bother Ashley with questions. It seemed the rock star just wanted to be alone.

Ashley couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Sammy. The blonde had invited her to an upcoming party, promising cocaine amongst other things. Ashley should have been angry, but she wasn't. She understood that Samantha probably didn't take her vow to quit seriously.

The elevator doors opened and they stepped out, both gazes immediately fell on Pops and the rest of the band. They all stood around the lobby, near an open restaurant. "I don't have much of an appetite," Ashley found herself saying. "Plus I'm really tired; I think I'll go find the bus and sleep."

Spencer stopped walking and looked at her. "You should really eat Ashley," She stopped when she noticed the muscle in Ashley's jaw clench, an obvious sign of frustration. "I'll bring you something back."

Ashley's body relaxed slightly. "Sounds good. I'll see you later."

Ashley turned and stormed out the hotel building. Seeing Pops and AJ sent a wave of nausea straight to the pit of her stomach. she couldn't stand the thought of being near them. Plus, her cravings were bad, it wouldn't take much to push her off the deep end, any bit of stress was enough to get her back on her knees, snorting cocaine.

The bus wasn't hard to spot, it stuck out like a sore thumb in the parking lot. It wasn't cold, to Ashley's relief, but that didn't stop her body from shivering. Her mind had lost its bearing and all she could think of was the cocaine Samantha had offered her. She hated herself for turning it down, and then fucking it up by throwing it on the floor. Just a little wouldn't have hurt, she mentally told herself, regretting not taking some home. Her need for the white powder was strong; her hands were trembling and her mind was blank of anything else but the drug.

She arrived at the bus and opened the door. Stepping in, she went straight to the back bedroom and slammed the door. She went straight to the dresser and began opening drawers, eyes scanning for any trace of white powder. The pain in her nose had gotten worse, almost as bad as the pain in her head. She knew finding the drug would make all the pain disappear, leaving her numb again.

"Fuck!" She screamed, pulling the bottom drawer out of the dresser. Her body needed cocaine, it told her in more ways than one, Ashley was getting desperate. She knew Mike would have some, she prayed he was still around. Moving around the drawer, she froze at the bedroom door when her phone began ringing. It was Kyla's ring tone.

Ashley took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. She didn't want her little sister to hear the desperation in her voice. Pulling out her cell phone, she flipped it open and brought it to her ear. "Hey Ky." She greeted softly. "What's up?"

"I hate Mom, Ashley. She's being such a bitch."

Ashley could tell her little sister had been crying, she immediately tensed. "What did she do Ky?"

Kyla sniffled, feeling like a child. She almost felt stupid calling Ashley while crying. She knew her older sister had better things to worry about. "I don't want to waste your time…"

The older sister shook her head. "You're not wasting my time. I love you more than anything else in this world, including my fame and all the bullshit that comes with it. Please talk to me."

"I got in trouble for bringing you up at dinner last night. I asked Mom if you can stay over some time and she kept saying 'we're not talking about this now.' Ashley I miss you so much. Can you just tell Mom sorry or something? I really want to see you. And in person, not on some magazine or in a music video."

Ashley brought her hand up and began rubbing the bridge of her nose. The pain had gotten worse, Ashley continued rubbing, trying to relieve some of the throbbing, but it didn't do much good. "I can't just apologize, it's more complicated than that."

"Ashley please tell me what's going on. Mom won't say anything, you won't say anything, and I'm not even allowed to talk to you! I want to know what's wrong. If it's the gay thing than she's overeating-"

"It's not the gay thing." Ashley corrected softly. "I don't want you to know, maybe I'll tell you one day, but not now. Please try and understand Ky, I miss you too and I'm working on fixing things with Brenda. Just be patient. I'll fix things."

"Promise? You're not just saying that to make me feel better right? You're really going to fix everything?"

Ashley removed her hand from her nose and moved away from the door. "I promise Ky, I'll fix everything."

--------------

A.J. played around with the food on his plate, pushing his eggs around with the fork in his hand. His father had announced to the table that he was fine and the medicine was going to take care of everything, but AJ still worried about his old man. Brown eyes moved up and settled on his laughing father. He smiled a little too at the scene. Pops looked happy for once, he was glad Ashley was hiding away somewhere. She always made him bitter.

"You really care for him, don't you?" Spencer smiled when A.J.'s surprised face turned red. "It's okay to love your dad," She spoke quietly, not wanting to embarrass the bus driver further. "I love mine."

A.J. cleared his throat and took a drink from his orange juice. "Yeah, he's my old man." He shrugged. "I want him to be okay."

The emotion in his voice was easily detected, it made Spencer wonder. "You and Ashley are so different," She mused. "Which is funny since you guys could pass as twins."

A.J. smirked and pursed his lips a bit. "Does that mean you're in to me to?" He said playfully.

Spencer gave him a puzzled look. "Does that mean what I think that means?"

"If you're guessing I know about you and Ashley…than yes." He drank more of his orange juice. "I over heard Aiden talking, and you know, he may have said something along the lines of 'I'm happy for them. Spencer and Ashley are great for each other.' It was kind of shocking, but not really. Not too many girls have turned Ashley down."

"it's more than just sex," Spencer found herself saying. She felt like she had to defend her relationship with Ashley and convince A.J. she wasn't another one of Ashley's fuck buddies. "I love her and she feels the same."

A.J. shook his head slowly. "You should listen to what people tell you about her. She's here now, but once things get rocky, or she finds another hot blonde, she's gone." He smirked. "You may never see her again, or the next time you do see her, she'll be as high as a kite and not remember your name. It happens all the time."

"We're working on her addiction." Spencer confidently pushed, not liking the conversation. She hated how A.J. spoke so surely about Ashley, like he knew everything about her. "She's going to get better and prove everyone wrong."

A.J. chuckled. "Listen Spencer, if I were you I'd dump her and date me." He stopped Spencer from saying anything. "I'm like the guy version of her, which is better since I'm not lacking equipment, and I hardly touch drugs and I'm working on my acting career. I'm flying high while she's soaring low, we'd make a much better couple."

Spencer declined without any hesitation. A.J. was wasting his breath. "I love her, not you, I'm sorry A.J. you'll find someone that makes you happy." She flashed him an apologetic smile. "I'm just not her."

A.J. frowned, not liking rejection. "Are you kidding me? How does Ashley make you happy?! She's a fucking heartless, selfish bitch."

Spencer unconsciously played with her hair, thinking of her lover. Sure Ashley had her cons, and they probably outweighed her pros, but that didn't affect the love she felt for the rock star. Since day one she was drawn to the troubled rock star. The connection had only gotten stronger since then. "You don't know her like I do. And despite everything, she still has my heart. Something you'll never have."

Spencer stood up and walked toward a nearby waitress, she had promised Ashley breakfast.

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Huddled in a corner, knees to her chest, head against the wall, eyes closed, Ashley cradled both her hands in her lap. Her breathing was heavy and hoarse, throat dry from screaming. The tears had stopped, but her eyes were still red and puffy. Her cheeks were stained with tears that had dried, leaving salty tracks on her face. "I want it so fucking bad." She cried, rubbing her bloody sweaty hands together. She winced at the pain and regretted trashing the room.

She couldn't stop herself. One minute she was hanging up her cell phone- the next she was punching holes in the wall, cutting open the skin on her hands. Things only got worse from there. She pushed down the dresser, shattered the mirror, threw the bed sheets on the floor, and finally collapsed in a corner.

Ashley moved one of her arms up and tried to wipe away the tears on her face. She only managed to smear the moisture on her arm over the skin on her cheeks.

Sweat soaked the rock star's body, it made her shiver, she was cold. "Just fucking kill me." She sobbed, a new batch of tears flowing down her smooth skin. "God I hate this." Ashley opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling fan. Her stomach hurt and the pain in her head was unbearable. She started hearing things, but knew she was just hallucinating. They were the same unidentified noises she heard while high. "I need it." She closed her eyes and started crying louder. "Just fucking give me some, Sammy, please fucking give me some. I'll fucking sleep with you, just please give me some."

Spencer stood at the open doorway. Her gray eyes were wide from hearing Ashley's murmured words. The need in her lover's raspy voice was evident, along with the pain she was feeling. Spencer got over her shock and rushed over to Ashley. The rock star was still huddled in a corner; crying, sweaty, and pleading for the drug. Spencer collapsed on the ground next to her, not knowing what to do. Ashley was near hysteria. ''Ashley." She called out gently.

Ashley didn't respond. She just continued sobbing and shaking. "Just a little," She kept murmuring, hearing the voice in her head better than her own. It just kept screaming at her, telling her to get high, to get better and not feel any pain. To make her numb and happy again. "Ashley," The firm tone registered in her mind and she turned her head. The vision of Spencer was blurry due to the tears. "Get the fuck away!" She turned her face back to the wall and continued crying. Everything hurt and she prayed to god, begging for death. "Just go away Spencer." She demanded between sobs, feeling the blonde's hand on her shoulder.

Spencer was surprised at how bad the rock star's shoulder was shaking. She looked closer and realized her whole body was vibrating, and then her gaze fell on her hands and she noticed the blood. "Oh Ash," She breathed, seeing how bad her condition was. "Baby, calm down." She began rubbing up and down her arm soothingly, trying desperately to calm her nerves. "Look at me Ashley." She pleaded, hearing the rock star continue to beg for cocaine and death.

Ashley felt the hand on her arm and tried to shove it away, but Spencer was insisted and kept putting it back. "Dammit Spencer!" She turned her head and met caring gray eyes. "Just leave me alone, please." She hated having Spencer see her like this. All messed up and just wanting cocaine. "God, just fucking go." She pleaded, her voice cracking at the end.

Spencer shook her head. "I love you." She cupped her wet cheek and kissed her forehead. "I'm not going to leave you hurting like this."

Ashley jerked back and glared at the blonde. There was a terrible pounding in her ears, her heart was racing as her body moved shakily away from Spencer. Half from anger, half from the sobs that wracked her body. "I-I hate you, I n-never gave a fuck about you!"

Caring arms reached out and tried to hold her, Ashley resisted and put up a good fight against the blonde, the only problem was, Spencer was stronger. "Ashley, Baby, calm down." She held the taunt shaking body tighter against her, burying her face near her ear and whispering, "I love you so much, just let me hold you."

Ashley gave up and surrendered to her lover, wrapping her arms around Spencer; she buried her face into her neck and cried. "Fuck Spencer, I just want it so bad, I hurt so fucking much, just a little would help, one line is all I need, please find me some."

The rock star held desperately onto her and Spencer winced as Ashley's nail dug into her skin. "You don't need cocaine Ashley," She said softly, caressing her hair. "Taking more will hurt more than help." The words didn't seem to register in the rock star's mind, she kept begging and begging, the nails digging deeper into Spencer's skin.

The blonde just kept rocking and caressing the rock star, she didn't know how long they stayed like that; hurdled in a corner, bleeding, sweating and crying, but she never once got angry or frustrated at Ashley. The tears that slid down her own face reflected the sympathy she felt for her lover. She hated seeing Ashley hurt so bad, she wished she could take away some of her pain. "Stay strong my love, you'll feel better soon."

Ashley whimpered, meaning to snort at the words. She'll never feel better.

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Glen was the last one to get on the bus. AJ immediately started the RV once he was inside. The blonde looked around for Spencer and then sighed when his gaze landed on the closed bedroom door. The rules still applied to Spencer and Ashley and it bothered him that they could be having sex on the bus. His anger and curiosity got the best of him and walked to the backroom.

He didn't bother knocking. He just took the doorknob and was surprised when it wasn't locked. For a brief second he wondered if he was wrong. Maybe Spencer and Ashley weren't having sex. But then what else would they be doing? He turned the door knob and quietly opened the door.

"Oh my God." He breathed, seeing the condition of the room. There was shattered glass on the floor, holes in the wall, and things way out of order. His eyes landed on the two forms sitting against the wall. Spencer held Ashley, almost in a protective matter, Ashley held onto her for dear life, her face nestled against her skin. He could easily make out the blood and Ashley's trembling.

One look into Spencer's gray eyes told him to go. They were tired and it obvious the blonde didn't need any bullshit from him. He moved back and closed the door, wondering what Ashley took. No person in their right mind would do that to a room. She had to be high on something.

The thought made Glen angry. He was getting tired of Ashley's behavior. The 'I'm rich and can do anything I want' attitude was pissing him off. He wished Ashley was still 13 and sweet, not 17 and an ass.

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The room was quiet, except for the breathing that filled the air. Spencer's body screamed in protest at the position she was in. Supporting Ashley's body for so long was starting to hurt her own. She ignored the pain and focused on Ashley. She continued to caress her hair and place loving kisses on the top of her head. It worried her that the rock star hadn't spoken a word. Her body wasn't shaking anymore, an occasion chill made her shiver, but things were getting better. The nails that once dug into her skin eased up, overall Ashley was more relaxed. Her body was still soaked in sweat, but the bleeding stopped.

Ashley stared blankly at the shattered glass on the floor. She didn't acknowledge her feelings towards the condition of the room. She didn't want to acknowledge anything but the warm arms holding her. She felt safe and better in Spencer's embrace. Cocaine was still on her mind but it wasn't as bad as before.

Nausea swept through her, landing in her stomach. "S-spencer." She croaked, and then cleared her throat, trying to clear her voice. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Spencer acted quickly and helped the rock star to her feet. She interlaced their fingers and walked them out one door into another. Spencer closed the bathroom door and cringed at the dry heave that wracked Ashley's small frame. There was nothing to empty in Ashley's stomach. It was just dry heaving the whole time. Spencer rubbed her back and tried to ease her distress.

Ashley finished and sat back, away from the toilet and against the shower. She stared at Spencer and then down at herself. She saw the blood and sweat and fought back a cringe. She was disgusting. "I think I'll take a shower."

Her voice was so low and soft that Spencer could barely make out the words. "Are you sure you want to shower?"

Ashley frowned and shook her head, her eyes glued to her bloody hands. "I don't want to, but I have to." She mumbled, wincing as she ran her fingertips over her knuckles. "I can do it myself." She added, just wanting to be alone.

Spencer wanted to argue, knowing Ashley needed help, but then saw her brown eyes and the words died on her tongue. It was like they were begging her to leave. Spencer got the message and reluctantly stood up. "Call me if you need any help. Okay?"

Ashley nodded and she took that as her cue to leave. The living area of the bus was deserted. She heard laughing in the bunks and assumed Clay and Glen were watching TV. She ran a hand through her hair and then stretched a little. She winced at a pain in her side and curiously lifted her shirt. She noticed the nail marks and the blood on her side immediately and sighed, pulling her shirt back down. She wasn't mad at Ashley, that much she knew, but she was confused at what to do while Ashley was in the shower.

Her gray eyes landed on the bedroom door. She decided to start there. Spencer patiently fixed the bed with new sheets she found in the closet. She also picked up a little around the room, throwing away what she can. While in the kitchen, she heard the shower stop and grabbed the clothes she had laid out for the rock star. They were things out of her suitcase. A pair of cotton shorts and a long t shirt.

She opened the bathroom door and placed them on the sink. Her eyes landed on her lover and she watched Ashley dry herself off with a towel, avoiding her gaze.

She once again left the bathroom and decided Ashley should eat something. She had placed her breakfast in the fridge but wasn't going to give her that to eat. Eggs and bacon would probably make her sick. Instead, she grabbed two pieces of bread and placed them in the toaster.

Ashley walked out of the bathroom just as the toast was popping out of the toaster. Spencer walked over to her and smiled at her clean appearance. She looked comfortable in her clothes. "I made you some toast."

Ashley immediately shook her head no. "I can't eat anything Spencer." She rubbed her churning stomach. "It'll just come back up, please don't make me eat."

Spencer sighed. "I'm sorry Baby, but you need to eat something. Just have a little okay?" She gently took Ashley's hand, and then dropped it when Ashley whimpered. "I'm sorry," She said quickly not knowing how bad the pain in her hand was.

Ashley fought back tears as she cradled her hand. "It's okay." She blew out. "It just hurts a lot."

Spencer stared at her hands. They weren't bleeding but the cuts were noticeable. Her knuckles were also a bit darker, she knew it wasn't long before bruises covered the skin there. "I'll look at your hands after you eat. Is that okay?"

Ashley nodded and took a seat at the booth, dreading having to eat anything. The pain in her stomach was almost as bad as the pain in her hands. The toast was placed in front of her and Ashley began eating it. She took small bites while watching her lover move in and out of their room. It was obvious the blonde was trying to clean up the mess. Her mess. Ashley felt bad and wished Spencer would just stop, but she wouldn't. Ashley begged her twice to stop and the blonde completely ignored her.

"You don't have to do that Spencer." She told the blonde emptying a dustpan full of glass. "I can clean it up."

Spencer set the broom and dustpan aside. "Ashley I don't mind, really." She walked over to the booth and kissed her cheek. "I just want you to get better." She looked down at the plate and saw Ashley had eaten half a piece of toast. "Are you finished?" Ashley nodded. "Can I look at your hands now?"

Ashley stood up from the booth. "sure."

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Ashley sat at the edge of the, scanning the room with a frown. She hated herself for destroying the room, for having no self control. She looked at her hands. The cuts weren't bad, but her knuckles felt and looked horrible. She heard Spencer walk in and looked up. The blonde was holding a small first aid kit. "Is that necessary?"

Spencer kneeled down in front of her and shrugged. "You never know." She placed the first aid kit on the floor and took one of Ashley's hands. She began examining it, feeling for anything broken or unusual. Examining her hand reminded her of all the times she stood by and watched her mother do it. She would cringe and leave the room whenever someone cried out. Almost everyone in their town went to her house to see her mother before going to the hospital. It was a small town and Paula was very social. Everyone loved her and didn't mind paying her for checking them out at her house.

A slight whimper snapped Spencer out of her musing. She looked up and noticed Ashley's discomfort. Her eyes were shut tight, tears leaking out of them, and her bottom lip was trapped between two rows of white teeth. "Oh Ash." She immediately let go of her hand. "Why didn't tell me I was hurting you?"

Ashley opened her eyes. "I-it's fine Spencer. Is anything broken?"

Spencer shook her head. "Everything looks okay. Your knuckles are just bruised, Baby." She took her other hand. "I'm going to check this hand, alright?"

Ashley sighed, bracing herself for the pain. "Go for it."

Spencer examined her other hand thoroughly, trying her best to tune out Ashley's little whimpers. She knew she was hurting the rock star, and it bothered her, but she had to make sure nothing was broken. "Everything feels alright," She said softly, turning her hand over. The first thing she noticed was the cuts on her arm. They looked fresh and violent. She traced a few of them, the night replaying in her mind. She looked up and noticed Ashley also staring at them, her eyes full of shame. "It's okay, Baby." She whispered, dipping her head and placing light kiss over them. "They'll go away." She met her eyes again. "Do you feel better?" She asked, whisking away damp auburn hair from her eyes.

Ashley shrugged. "Not really. I'm really tired."

"Okay." Spencer stood and walked over to the bed, pulling back the covers, she urged Ashley under them and tucked her in. "Try to get some sleep, Ash." She kissed her forehead and cheek, "I love you."

Ashley hesitated before asking, "Can you stay with me?" She feared Spencer was going to leave the room and she didn't want to be alone. She felt selfish for asking the blonde to stay, especially after putting her through so much shit, but she couldn't stop the words from leaving her lips. "Just for a little bit."

Spencer easily agreed and walked over to the other side of the bed. She slid on top of the covers and lied on her side, facing Ashley. She began lightly stroking her face and hair when Ashley turned her head toward her. "How do you feel?" She asked softly.

Ashley closed her eyes. "Everything hurts so fucking much. From head to toe, I'm in so much fucking pain and I can't stop sweating. I hate this Spencer."

"It'll be alright, Baby." She kept stroking and caressing her smooth tanned face, luring her into a deep sleep. Placing a soft kiss on her cheek, Spencer moved off the bed and walked out the door, softly closing it behind her.

"Everything alright?"

Spencer turned around and met Glen's gaze. He stood in front of the fridge, eating out of a Styrofoam box. "Fine. Is Ashley's breakfast good?" She walked over and collapsed in the booth, smiling at the blonde.

Glen stopped eating, "Sorry. Should I put it back?"

Spencer shook her head. "It'll rot in there. Ashley's not going to eat it." She thought back to the room and sighed. "How do we fix the room?"

Glen stared down at his food. "We give Ashley a tool belt and tell her to fix it." He looked up. "She did it right?"

His tone did not sit well with Spencer. He was being sarcastic and she wasn't in the mood for it. "Don't be like that, Glen." She rubbed her face with her hands. "I don't need a smart ass right now."

Glen thought back to seeing Spencer and Ashley in the room. He wondered why Ashley trashed it, why Spencer didn't give a fuck, and finally why she put up with it. "You don't need her shit Spencer. Why are you putting up with it? You're not Rachael or Pops, tell her to fuck off and give you some peace." He remembered Ashley telling him she hit her. "You're right, you don't need a smartass because your hands are full with Ashley."

Spencer shook her head, smiling bitterly. She didn't want to respond to Glen, knowing the words would be mean and unprofessional. They sat there silent for many minutes. He finally threw away his food and went back to his bunk, Spencer just sat there, staring out the window. He wondered why she put up with Ashley, she wondered why he gave up on her.

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