Damn it... I can't even use going to the bathroom as an excuse. Why wouldn't Haruhi provide us a bathroom? I mean, really. There should be a bathroom.

Nagato points off to her right, where...

Another doorway has appeared. Apparently a bathroom. This is just too ridiculous.

I know I'm not the brightest person in the world, but it seems rather obvious we are now in a living house. Or separate dimension. Or wherever we are.

Which begs the question, "What does Haruhi want?"

I have a feeling I wont like it, whatever it is.

Kyon leaves, heading towards the newly created lavatory. The creation of this new room, however, is troubling. With just the kitchen, one might be able to assume that it was random chance that necessary facilities were provided. However, it is now apparent that Suzumiya has created sentient space.

For what reasons?

She places only Kyon and myself in a small, enclosed space. She activates programs that had been previously suspended, making myself "more human", so to speak. She provides only food and dining space that, according to various books and general human culture, would be considered "romantic".

It has become all too clear what needs to be done to escape this space. And it makes me... uncomfortable.

Though not necessarily unhappy.

As I sit back down to finish eating, Nagato stares at me. And continues to stare. Directly. Unblinkingly. Won't stop. Creeping me out. Starting to get nervous. Is she broken? Oh great, now I am sweating. The hell is wrong with her? Seriously, stop. No, really.

"..."

"..."

"..."

Alright, I really can't stand this any longer. What is Nagato's problem?

"Is it not considered romantic to gaze into one another's eyes?"

No. Not like that. Not even a bit.

Nagato just said "romantic", right?

No. No she did not. Wouldn't. She did. Why?

"It has become increasingly obvious that Suzumiya Haruhi is the one who created this reality."

I figured that much out, yes.

"Her goal in doing so, even as a subconscious act, has become apparent as well."

Well, I hadn't figured that out. But even so, what does that have to do with Nagato trying to be... "romantic"?

"Suzumiya Haruhi appears to want some sort of... relationship between us."

Somehow, this doesn't come as a surprise. Not in the sense that I expect Haruhi to do this, but more in that I don't really find anything as a surprise. Now, as for why Haruhi would want this...

"That is unclear. But a solution to that query has been formulated."

She just said she can figure out why. I think.

"This space is sentient. It conforms to our desires."

Which explains the bathroom and kitchen. Got it.

"Therefore, a simple request to see into Suzumiya Haruhi's mind, or her motivations should suffice."

Well, I suppose there's no reason not to give it a try. And it might help me forget about Nagato's most recent actions. Seriously, does she get all her information on humans from soap operas or something?

Suddenly, the television in the next room turns on, its electric glow illuminating the dark surroundings. Following Nagato, I leave the kitchen to see what the soft buzz of static could be. As we arrive, the static slowly forms into people, and then...

Haruhi appears.

The source of all this disruption is confirmed. Suzumiya Haruhi is the origin. Her motives are about to be made clear. And then, all will return to normal.

"Hey, Mikuru? Is there anything going on between you and Kyon?"

The smaller girl turns towards Suzumiya, her normal expression of uncertainty being amplified by a slight blush.

"I, uh... Well, it's just that... no! Eeeeeh..."

As the girl's words sink into nothing more than squeaks and whimpers, Suzumiya continues.

"That's good. After all, we can't be having intra-brigadal relationships! Brigidal is a word, right?"

Brigidal is not a word found within currently used dictionaries. It would appear that Suzumiya's pattern of eccentricity is unbroken.

"Still, Kyon pays way too much attention to Yuki. It's good nothing is going on with you, because it seems like he's interested elsewhere, right Mikuru?"

So Suzumiya believed that Kyon was... "interested" in myself.

"Of course, Yuki is so emotionless all the time, it isn't possible for her to ever like a guy like Kyon! Though, I bet if we trapped the two alone somewhere, set up a nice romantic dinner, and decided not to let them out till they did something... What's wrong Mikuru? Oh, you want to get trapped with Kyon? Ahahahah!"

"Wha-? No! Stop! Eeeeeeeh!"

As Suzumiya proceeds to mistreat Asahina as per normal, the screen fades back into static. Kyon presses a button to turn off the television. He turns towards me, a look of uncertainty on his face.

"So, Nagato... what do we do now?"

I could have been real evil and ended it right there. Luckily for anyone who want me to continue, the story should last one (maybe two) more chapters. Thanks for everyone who provided feedback so far, you have helped me figure out what needs to be fixed.