"Really," Leafpool insisted. Her tabby fur was fluffed out with the cold. A light snow drifted downwards, flecking our pelts with white. "It'd be good for Jaypaw to learn more about this…ability. And it'd be good for you."

Right, I thought, glad I couldn't answer thanks to the catnip leaves in my mouth. The cold ruffled my pelt, but what really made my fur stand on end was the idea of working with Jaypaw. As if helping him with sorting through mallow wasn't enough!

With a desperate look in her eyes, Leafpool tried again. "Lilypaw, I understand that maybe you don't want to have this ability…a way to commune with StarClan when all you've ever thought you were going to be was a ThunderClan warrior…"

"Is there anything wrong with being a ThunderClan warrior?" I demanded shrilly. Anger and desperation welled up, drenching my voice in emotion. I let the catnip leaves flutter into the snow as we padded on. "I don't want to be like you and Jaypaw, living half a life, looking to StarClan when any normal cat would be fighting!"

Shock glinted in Leafpool's amber eyes, and her tail twitched. "Lilypaw, that's not your future, and you know it's not. You want to throw away a connection with StarClan just for senseless violence!"

"Maybe!" I shouted back. My paws ached from the cold, but somehow I tense. I shook my head, remembering, Leafpool's the medicine cat! You ought to respect her! "Look, maybe…it was a mistake?" I suggested.

Leafpool looked surprised. "Of course not," she mewed. With a sigh of defeat, she added, "Maybe you can talk to Jaypaw back at the camp?" She winced at the fiery look I cast her.

"I can't. Thornclaw's taking me out to…er…train," I lied, looking up at the weak outline of the sun through the dark clouds. It wasn't near sunhigh yet.

"Thornclaw can wait!" Leafpool sighed. "Come on, Lilypaw. You dropped the catnip, did you?"

"Yeah…"

--

"Lilypaw, pay attention. What d'you think you're doing, dreaming?" A voice sounded from the other side of the hollow, and I looked up. My vision sharpened, and I recognized Thornclaw's golden pelt. "You were supposed to attack me!"

I shook my head. I was in a fog, and I couldn't concentrate on what Thornclaw kept telling me. I was thinking about what Leafpool said, and thinking about Jaypaw, who always seemed to have some heroic vision or another, saving WindClan from the dogs, things like that. Could that really be…me?

"Lilypaw!" Thornclaw called impatiently. I flicked my gaze up, and realized that I had completely forgotten to attack Thornclaw.

Without thinking, I charged in, diving at Thornclaw's throat. Thornclaw flipped onto his back, kicking my shoulders and throwing me back into the dust. I looked up, stunned from the force of the impact, into Thornclaw's golden eyes.

"Honestly, Lilypaw. You could've done better as a kit," Thornclaw scolded. "Head back over to that side of the hollow, and I'll attack you like a RiverClan warrior would."

My head was buzzing. "RiverClan," I muttered softly as I retreated.

Hardly a moment passed before I saw Thornclaw dive into the air. I was too surprised to do anything, and he barreled into me, looking disappointed as well as confused. "What's up, Lilypaw?" he demanded. "This isn't the Lilypaw I remember."

If you knew that Leafpool was trying to make me like Jaypaw, you'd understand! I thought. "I'm just…I'm not all the way here today," I admitted, pawing at the snow. "I'm…I'm…I need a rest."

Wasn't that the truth.

Thornclaw hesitated. "Maybe you've caught a cold?" he suggested. "Squirrelflight's got it, and Honeypaw looks like she has it, too. Maybe we should head to Leafpool for some herbs. With ShadowClan acting in the weird way they have been, and with Greencough surely on its way, we can't afford to have our apprentices sick!" His voice was assuring, as if he knew exactly.

"No! I mean…no, that's not a good idea," I grumbled, my tail twitching. I felt a sharp fear prickle in my heart as I thought of what Leafpool said. A way to commune with StarClan…a hero…power…

The annoyance in Thornclaw's amber eyes softened to concern. "Come on, Lilypaw," he insisted, flicking his tail for me to follow him on the path back to camp. "A little bit of herbs wouldn't hurt anyone."

Yeah, I thought, but being forced to work with Jaypaw is another story…

--

Leafpool's den was crowded with the scent of catnip—she must have collected the stuff I dropped—and a sweet scent I recognized as mallow. Both Leafpool and Jaypaw were crouched in the shadows of their den, and two pairs of eyes—one amber, one jayfeather-blue—stared curiously at Thornclaw and I as we squeezed through the mouth of the cave.

"Cold, Thornclaw?" Leafpool suggested, padding towards the golden-brown warrior. "Jaypaw and I've been mixing stuff for normal Leaf-Bare sicknesses. D'you have a bellyache?" her voice sounded far-out and rushed, as if there was something on her mind. I noticed, when I looked up, that her sparkling amber gaze was directed at me.

Thornclaw shifted. "It's Lilypaw," he said. "She's been doing terribly in training. Maybe she has a cold?" He winced as Leafpool looked up at him.

"Yes," she said shortly. "I'll take care of your apprentice for you." She nodded quickly at Thornclaw, and I watched as he slipped out of the den. My heart sunk as Leafpool beckoned me closer to her, forming a close circle with me, Leafpool, and Jaypaw.

"What does she want?" Jaypaw demanded. There was a thick layer of honey on one of Jaypaw's paws, and his pelt was stained with juniper berries. "I thought she just has a cold?"

Leafpool stared coolly at her apprentice. "Actually, we have something else to discuss with Lilypaw," she said. "I had a dream last night."

Jaypaw looked irritable, smoothing the honey off his paw with a few swipes of his tongue. "And this has to do with Lilypaw because…?" he asked.

"When've you been so excited about medicine cat training?" I snapped, remembering his usual reluctance towards Medicine Cat chores.

"When've you suddenly become important in the world of StarClan?" he retorted.

Leafpool looked both exasperated and impatient with us. "Jaypaw, be quiet," she whispered. "Lilypaw, don't provoke him."

"It's not my fault he's such a"—I argued, before Leafpool cut me off.

"Jaypaw, she watched my dream. Spottedleaf and Yellowfang came to me. She watched the whole thing."

Jaypaw looked annoyed. "Are you saying that she can walk in other cats dreams, too?" He glanced briefly at me before adding, "Like I can?"

Annoyance prickled in my pelt. "Yeah, and the whole forest is all about you," I hissed, slapping my tail into a pile of herbs. A leaf fluttered down at my paws, and I crushed it with an unsheathed claw. And Leafpool expects me to help him do anything? He acts like he knows it all!

"Jaypaw, quiet," Leafpool ordered. "I think Lilypaw has your unusual gift."

"And so…?" Jaypaw questioned, looking contemptuously at me. "What do you want me to have to do with her?"

Leafpool flicked her ears at me, with a look that seemed to say, 'don't say anything, if you know what's good for you'. "Just because you've got this…gift…doesn't mean that you're the only one," she began coolly, as if there weren't two cats about to rip each other's fur out on either side of her. "You don't know everything about this mystic power given by StarClan."

"You think that she knows any more?" Jaypaw suggested fiercely. "StarClan communicates with medicine cats, not her."

"I've got a name!" I insisted hotly. I could feel a big anger suffusing through my pelt, and my claws sunk into the earth.

"That's not the point, Lilypaw," Leafpool soothed. Her voice sounded like cool water compared to Jaypaw's fierce-tempered words. "And Jaypaw—Lilypaw has this gift for a reason. Like you do."

Neither of said anything. Jaypaw's tail churned in the air, and we glared at each other. Leafpool flicked her tail between our noses, which were no more than a mouse-length apart.

"I think that if you worked together to explore your gift, you could learn more about the forest—StarClan—and yourselves." Leafpool looked hopefully at me before dipping her head to groom her pale chest. "What do you think?"

Jaypaw's whiskers twitched. "I'm not working with her!"

I could feel my ears prickle with resentment and embarrassment. "And I'm not working with him!" I added, flicking my tail into Jaypaw's nose.

"You better not!" Jaypaw hissed. His hackles bristled, and we both forgot that we were from the same Clan. I dropped into a fighting crouch, my muscles tense. If only Thornclaw could see me now!

"Lilypaw! Jaypaw!" Leafpool put a paw on my shoulder, and I hissed at her irritably. "You two need to get along! Imagine how much more of your talent you could explore by working together."

"Not with Jaypaw," I said rudely.

"Not with Lilypaw!" Jaypaw added.

"Good!" I darted out of the Medicine Cat's den. Hollypaw and Sandstorm, who were standing watch over the camp, looked curiously at me. I dropped my voice, whiskers quivering with embarrassment. "I don't care what kind of power I have. You can have it."

And then I ran off.